Sand by Greg Bates –
All Beauty Fades by One Less Reason – I stumbled on these guys a few years back and I don’t think there is a song by them I don’t like, so they get two here.
Life In The Way by One Less Reason –
Amen by Matt Papa – older song but it always touches me
Fight Song by Rachel Platten –
Clair Huxtable by Louis York –
God Held Me Together by Zacardi Cortez – older but new to me
What can I say? We have been through hell and back and here we are still fighting the good fight. I see God working in us more and more each day. I pray that as painful as our story was, that one day God will use it for His glory and we can help others.
You are an amazing mother, an awesome healthy cooking chef – just no orange chicken please, a great wife, and make me want to be better physically. Just don’t ever ask me to do a workout with you because you know you kill me. I pray one day when I get back to where I was we can run together again and cross a finish line together. ( I know I will have to slow down to do that since I was so much faster than you 🙂 )
I see the changes you have made and how God is working in you. I know I don’t tell you that enough. Look at you, going to be leading your own Run For God class, overcoming that fear of talking in front of people. I am proud of you.
Anyway, I love you and happy anniversary.
I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman – Our song
Love You All The Way by Sean Mcneill – Had to make my own video for this one, hope you like it
You Had Me From Hello by Bon Jovi –
Perfect Proposal by Wayne Wonder –
and of course for you, your favorite Jeremy Camp
Overcome because we have overcome so much
Same Power because He is working in our lives
He Knows because He Knows all we have gone through and we will go through
Be Still my favorite song from his new cd
I Still Believe because I still believe in us, I believe God is going to do great things for us
After my last post, I would like to talk about my other daughters. Kylie gets a lot of attention since she is still at home but I have three other wonderful daughters. Isn’t God funny? The way I treated some girls when I was younger and then I get blessed with four daughters.
Kirstie is my oldest and has made a lot of mistakes. She is a great person with a big heart but she didn’t really have a father figure around while she was growing up ( I came in the picture when she was 13). I see her growing and trying to better herself. I know I messed up some by giving up on her at times when she made those mistakes when I should have been pulling her closer. I pray she gives her life to God and lets him work in her.
Kelsey is who you would want a daughter to be. She makes mistakes but she stands for what she believes in. She is respectful and loving. She can be a little hard on people at times but in the end, I believe she forgives and moves on. She has also called me D2 for her second dad but I pray one day I can move down to D3 and let God be D1. As you know I am not a big talker so I wish we were closer but that is my fault.
Kayhla is my daughter from my first marriage and she has been through so much so the rest of this will be her story. Her mom and I divorced when she was 3 or 4. We had shared parenting until she was 6 then her mom moved to Florida and I had full custody. I am not condemning her mom, she did what she thought she had to do at the time. I raised Kayhla by myself for a year or so then married the wrong person. I thought I could change her, only God can change someone. That was a quick year and divorced again. As you can see, I was just as much blame for Kayhla’s early childhood experiences as her mom. I was always there physically to protect her and love her but once again, emotionally I wasn’t always there since I am not a talker.
Then I married my current wife and I thought everything was fine. We were in a stable home, going to church, my wife would take care of everything at home and the girls but I would work a lot and when I was home, I didn’t connect emotionally with anyone, let alone Kayhla.
Kayhla turned 15 and all heck broke loose. She had never dealt with the emotions of her mom leaving, the life changes I had put her through and how I wasn’t around to help her and show her how to be with a guy she deserves to be with. I basically was coming home to a war and I was the general and all I did was ground her and take away all her stuff. That didn’t help things. I also didn’t agree with what she was doing but it wasn’t much different than what I did as a teenager, except the disrespecting and back talking to parents. If I did that, I knew a belt was coming. As things were getting worse and the situation was affecting my relationship with my wife I gave up. Not that I quit caring but for the first time in my life I gave up and gave it to God. I told him I couldn’t do this on my own.
First thing I heard was give her her stuff back. I did. My wife didn’t agree but I was listening to God. We then had her go to a Christian counselor to work through some of the things with her mom and I went to a few sessions to deal with how I had failed her. It changed how I parent and makes me a better parent today and was the start of the turnaround for Kayhla.
When my wife and I were going through a rough patch a few years ago, I was constantly amazed by how Kayhla would give me a bible verse or encouragement or say just the right thing at the right time. I knew that was God working through her.
She sometimes still doesn’t make decisions I agree with but I let her make them, win lose or draw. I know I am not in control and that God will direct her foot steps. I will always be here for her when she needs me. I believe she should move back home and save money and start paying back student loans but she isn’t ready yet. Will she ever be? I don’t know, but I will put it in God’s hands.
We aren’t as close as I wish we were but she works and goes to college and has a boyfriend so there isn’t a lot of time but we both need to work on getting closer.
Looking back I can honestly say that during this trial, I was always seeing things through my perspective. How could she do this to me, her dad? I am the only one that has been there for her her entire life, I’ve done everything for her, sacrificed so much for her, etc etc. Now I see things differently. I see how this trial has made me a better father now, made me more patient, more appreciative. I also can see things through God’s eyes. I mean how many times has He had to say to me, why are you doing this, I am always there for you. Do you not realize how much I sacrificed, my own son, for you. That makes me open my eyes.
I need to work with being closer to all three of these girls. I pray God lets them know how much I love them and how much they have made me a better person for knowing them. I pray God puts people in their lives to direct them closer to Him. I pray they see how God is working in me and their mom/step-mom and what we went through and where we are today and know that He can do the same for them, no matter what they are going through.
Since I didn’t talk much and what I did say didn’t seem to get through, I made Kayhla a cd. I tried to put songs on from her view and my view. Here are some of them.
Monster You Made by Pop Evil –
Nobody’s Perfect by Jessie J –
Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self by Pink –
Letter To Me by Brad Paisley –
Don’t Let Me Go by Summer Set –
Keep Your Eyes Open by Needtobreathe –
Daddies and Daughters by Kevin Fowler –
Fathers and Daughters by Kristin Chenoweth –
Moments Like These by Selah –
Teenage Daughters by Martina McBride –
Hurry Home by Jason Michael Carroll –
Change In The Making by Addison Road –
Baby You’re A Star by Deirick Haddon –
Pray For You by Blessid Union Of Souls –
Here is our song. This isn’t the final version because it still needs mastered and tweaked a little but this is pretty much it. I wrote the lyrics, Lily Messer is the voice and did some of the music- she is amazing and every time I hear her sing she just captivates me, David McGuire who also is part of our church is on drums and Ceylon Wise from too wise productions did the rest of the music and mixing and production work.
This is how amazing God works and how it is all in His time. I wrote this song five years ago and when I was throwing away everything else I wrote, for some reason I kept this one. Five years ago Kylie started kindergarten and out of three teachers she could’ve had, she had Mrs. Chaffin. Over the next year or so I had thoughts to give the song to our worship leader or see if he knew anyone that would do it but God kept telling me to wait. Fast forward a few years and our church had a senior graduation party for the seniors, which Kayhla was one. While we were there, the band played and Lily, who was a junior, was one of the singers. When I heard her voice the world stopped and God said that’s who I want you to give the song to. I wasn’t listening to God then because I still had fear and didn’t think the song was anything. Fast forward seven months and my wife gets her personal training certificate. Two months after that she runs into Mrs. Chaffin at the park and she knew Kim ran and worked out so she asked Kim if she had her personal training certificate. Why yes she does, she just got it. Turns out Mrs. Chaffin’s husband ran his own personal training business and needed help. Kim signed on. Six months later Mr. Chaffin decided he was going to give the business to my wife and help out his brother-in-law in a production company. Kim took over and renamed it 5k’s Healthy Ways. Five months after that Lily sung in front of the main worship center and her parents just happened to be sitting beside us and I told them how amazing Lily was. Her mom Katie said you should tell her that because she is thinking about quitting, doesn’t think she is good. I was listening to God now so I told her and we connected and I gave her this song. Nine months later Lily went to college. I was fine with waiting, it’s already been five years. All in God’s time. Lily decided to come back home over winter break and we talked and started to get the ball rolling, but we didn’t have anyone to write music and produce for us. Then Kim said, you know Mr. Chaffin went to producing with his brother-in-law. I reached out to Mr. Chaffin and he connected me to Ceylon Wise of too wise productions and here we are. Sorry a long paragraph but see how God has worked over five years putting all these pieces in place. It is amazing.
We also need help with donations to finish the ep or cd. Each song is around $500. I paid for this song to be done and we have $200 in donations so far. That leaves $1800 to finish 5 songs. It seems like a lot but that is only $10 for 180 people. (and you get a copy of the cd when it is done).
Ask anyone that knows me and I am not one to ask for help or to owe anyone. I am really out of my comfort zone, all this is out of my comfort zone, by asking for help but God has brought me this far. I trust He will do the rest. I could get it done by putting on credit card but maybe this is God reaching out to some of you. Maybe the call isn’t for you to donate but to share with someone that could. Beats me, however the song moves you and God asks you to move I just pray we listen.
Let me know what you think. Do you like it? Not like it? Think you could hear it on the radio? Think it will move people that hear it? This is my first attempt at a video also so…Feel free to share it.
Also if you like my blogs, please hit the follow button and follow me. I am not sure how all this social media works but maybe the more followers I get, the more word gets out and more people will read and be moved by God.
I Question You by Lily Messer, lyrics by me.
59 days. That’s 1,416 hours. That’s 84,960 minutes left. Left of what you may ask? Summer break. Seriously, I think I might go nuts. I work 3.5 days a week and off 3.5 days a week so I am home with Kylie for 3.5 days while my wife trains in the morning. That’s with one child. I can’t imagine being a stay at home parent with two or more. Hats off to you stay at home moms and dads. Kylie is an awesome daughter and she is very independent when it comes to most things and she isn’t one to constantly be up my butt, so why I am saying only 59 days left?
It’s because I feel like I lost my freedom. I feel like I am selfish. I feel like I constantly have to entertain her. I feel like I can’t go workout. I feel like I can’t go out and run for an hour. I feel like…… I feel like I won’t have many of these summers with her left.
Those of you that have older children know how fast these times go and I know in a few years she won’t want to snuggle and watch tv with me. I know she will want to spend more time with her friends than with me. I know how I spend this time with her now will influence how she relates to other men in her life as she gets older. I know she watches me and how I handle difficult situations. I know she watches me to see if I read the Bible today. I know that when we go anywhere and she holds my hand there is no place I would rather be in this world. I know I wasn’t the greatest father to my oldest daughters. I know during the years when they were this age, I worked 60-70 hours a week. I know I missed a lot of life with them. Time I will never get back. They will never truly know how it pained me to miss that time and how sorry I am. I know I don’t want to miss it with my last daughter.
I feel like I will gladly give up my freedom because I know I will be selfish to spend as much time with her before she moves on to the rest of her life. It won’t be long until we go from “Just Fishin” to “Cleaning My Gun”. One day I will blink and wish I had 59 days, 1416 hours, 84960 minutes to spend with her.
Dear God, thank You for this time You have given me to spend with my daughter. I pray that when I get frustrated with not having enough me time that You remind me this is the time You have given me to spend with her, to bond with her, to teach her about You, to love her, and to cherish her. I pray that You help me with my older daughters to be able to speak with them, spend time with them, and make up for the time I missed with them. Thank you for my family. In Your name, amen.
It Won’t Be Like This For Long by Darius Rucker –
You’re Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins –
Let Them Be Little by Billy Dean –
My Little Girl by Tim Mcgraw –
Just Fishin by Trace Adkins –
Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman –
Don’t Blink by Kenny Chesney –
Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle –
There Goes My Life by Kenny Chesney –
Photograph by Ed Sheeran –
Watching You by Rodney Atkins –
Heaven by Live –
One Life To Love by 33 Mile –
Turn Around Slowly by David Kauffman –
Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift –
Handprints On The Wall by Kenny Rogers –
You’ll Always Be My Baby by Sara Evans –
You Can Let Go by Crystal Shawanda – from birth to death wow…
Daddy Dance With Me by Krystal Keith –
Butterfly Fly Away by Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus –
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/summer/”>Summer</a>
In trying to keep the music relevant to the posts, I am not being able to get some artists out there that I think should be heard. I came up with new music Friday, give all of you all weekend to listen. I will try to to have one song from country, christian, pop, rock, r&b and gospel. Sometimes there may be two from one category and sometimes there may not be any from a category. Keep in mind these are new, forgotten and unknown songs/ artists that I am just now discovering or remembering. They could be very popular.
God, Girls, and Football by Mitch Rossell
Never Back Down by Nine Lashes –
Hurricane by Misterwives –
Angel by Angels Fall –
Blackbird by Noni –
God Looks Good On You by Canton Jones –
I have always believed in God, Jesus resurrection, and Heaven and Hell, but I didn’t believe in a lot of other things when it comes to religion. We went to church a few times when I was a child but not really anything I can recall stuck out for me. Growing up, I never read the Bible. The only person in my school that did, that I remember, was a boy named Jeremy. I never talked to him about it but a few years back I sent him a message telling him that I thought it was awesome he did that, that it is something I remember from high school.
I was a questioning Christian. I questioned people I knew who were Christians but their actions didn’t reflect that they were. ( Note to self : Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones). I know that many people get turned off because of a few bad apples. I questioned TV evangelism Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart. I questioned the Da Vinci Code. If Jesus wasn’t born December 25th, then why do we celebrate his birthday then? What about the books that weren’t included in the Bible and why weren’t they? Why does Jesus have so many names? etc etc. I could go on.
Then I met my wife in November 2003 and she introduced me to a few things. My wife went church shopping and walked into our current church, Westerville Christian, and God spoke to her and that this is where we should be. I started going and we sat in the back and I didn’t sing or any of that. I just listened. I talked to our pastor Greg and went through my questions and then all I can say is my heart started to soften. Then I questioned myself, am I really wanting to chance a life forever in Heaven because I have a few questions I don’t have answered. The question turned from what if none of this is real to what if it is? What if I miss it? Now, we sit in the front and I sing.
I was baptized on February 25th, 2009. I didn’t feel any different. There wasn’t an Aha moment but it was the start of a new life for me. One that would prepare me for times to come. One that would awaken my eyes, my heart, like never before. Was I really ready to live my life for the one who died for me?
At the end of 2012 my world was rocked. We will save this discussion for another time when God says I am ready but for now let’s just say my faith in everything I had come to believe in was tested. I asked God to use me and he did, not in the way I wanted to be used but in the way He wanted to use me. I believe in Heaven and Hell like never before. You see, I invited the devil to leave someone else alone and to come to me, I was strong enough. I got what I asked. God used me and the devil came to me. Since I will talk about this in depth later, I will just say something quick now. I never get headaches. Never, not once that I can recall. After I asked the devil in, I was getting headaches all the time, woke up covered in sweat, and sometimes when I looked in the mirror, I could tell the eyes looking back at me weren’t me. I don’t know how else to describe it. I went to counseling and did some pretty intense stuff and we talked about it and went under something called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing ( they use this to treat PTSD) and let me tell you, it is no joke. Anyway, questions came up about what, or who was inside my head and my vision, as clear as it is right now, was the devil. I don’t remember the name I said he said he was but it was real. After a few treatments, and many prayers to God to bail me out of what I asked for, the headaches stopped, the waking up covered in sweat stopped and the eyes not being me stopped. Be careful what you ask for.
Fast forward to now. I know without a doubt God is with me. I have overcome one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with. It took awhile but here I am. Proof positive is that I am writing for the entire world to see. Proof positive is that I am taking a chance on my music getting out there. The peace I feel when I told fear to go away, God’s got this, is overwhelming at times. The battle I had with fear and doubt when I was deciding to get my music out there. Come on man, you can use that money for something else. Don’t do this, no one will like it. The peace I felt after we did the first song and I put the money down, it was like God was smiling on me.
Even after all that, I was still a sinner and always will be, none of us are perfect but at times I was like, well if I mess up God will forgive me so what’s the point. I can watch what I want, listen to what I want, eat what I want and God will forgive me and then repeat cycle begins. Then I said to myself, what do I have to lose. Then God said, try it and see. I tried it, I quit following certain people on social media, I quit looking at certain people on social media, and I quit listening to some music that was negative or treated women or others with disrespect. All I can say is almost immediately I felt a change. I feel like my heart is going to fly out of my chest. I believe I am doing what God wants me to do and I am praying God will use my words and music to reach someone else.
All in God’s time.
If you are struggling with anything, find someone to talk to. We as Christians are not to condemn others but help them walk into the faith. Take baby steps, don’t try to read The Bible in a day. Download the Youversion Bible app and start with a simple devotional. See how God leads you. I can’t tell you how many times I was struggling with something and my devotional that day talked exactly about what I was struggling with. There are new devotionals each month and I just read the ones that jump out at me. This month, and it is amazing how God works this way, my devotionals are: Share Jesus- Go and Give Life, Beginning a Relationship With Jesus, Living Out Your Faith, Trusting God Day by Day, Gods Dream For Your Life, Go: Your Action Plan to Change The World, etc. You get it right? All these devotionals about sharing Jesus all at the same time that I started sharing Jesus. Something to help me in my walk as I start out on this new path for me. God moves in mysterious ways.
A book that may help you is Letters from a Skeptic : A Son Wrestles With His Father’s Questions About Christianity by Dr. Gregory Boyd and Edward Boyd.
Wherever you are in your walk, God will meet you there when YOU are ready to meet HIM. He is always there waiting.
Are you willing to risk everything that it is nothing? Or are you willing to risk everything that it is everything?
Thanks for the donations. I know it’s hard to donate on faith since you haven’t heard the song yet.
Just In Case by Tesla – I don’t want to be knocking on Heaven’s door wondering if I did enough
Everything by Colton Dixon (originally performed by Lifehouse )-I chose Colton’s version simply because it had the words. God is Everything, I never considered this a Christian song until I really read the words
Lord, I’m Ready Now by Plumb – God is waiting for you, it’s up to you to be ready now.
The Man I Want To Be by Chris Young – who do you want to be
Shine by Collective Soul – teach me Your ways
Walk By Faith by Jeremy Camp – my wife’s favorite artist, we have seen him in concert probably 7-8 times and each time we find a way to talk to him. Great guy and follower of Jesus.
The Answer by Audio Adrenaline – He is the answer
On The Inside by Kyle Kupecky –
What I Believe by Skillet – my fav Christian band
See You In Everything by Matty Mullins – love his voice
Believer by Audio Adrenaline – giving up, letting go of control
We Believe by Newsboys –
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Before I start, it gives me great joy to tell you that our youngest daughter, Kylie, who is 9 is being raised in knowing God and knowing what a true Ohio State Buckeye fan is, even though she tells me she is going to go to OU, not OSU. One of my wife’s clients invited us to go to Gull Lake, a Christian family vacation retreat, which is in the state north of Ohio. When Kylie found out we were going she said ” Seriously, we have to go to that state up north. I can’t even say that word. UGGHH! ” Yes, raise ’em the right way while they are young. Go Bucks.
Now on to the running. To me, running and my faith are both a lot alike. Both are 90% mental. Some days I feel like I can run forever. Other days I feel like I shouldn’t even be out there. Some days I hit a wall and stop. Other days I push through that wall and overcome that voice in my head. I have found out the hardest part is always the first step. If I put on my shoes, I am out the door hitting the pavement. If I open my bible, I will read it. If I procrastinate, it usually won’t happen.
One example of the mental part of running is me running with my wife. I could go and run 7:20 miles all day without her, but then run with her at 7:40 pace and not be able to keep up. I could never beat her in a race either until one race I did. Then that mental block was gone and I finished before her every race after that.
Another example is for my wife. She said she would never run a marathon. It took me years to convince her to run one. After she finally did, now she can’t stop. She has ran two and qualified for New York City and Boston, which we will be going to. Once you get over the mental part of anything, running, faith, or anything else, you never know where it may take you.
My wife is also leading her first Run For God class at our church. She doesn’t like talking in front of people but when you start to live your life for God, He will put you in places you never thought you would be. We have helped out in other Run For God classes at another church and have seen how it has helped hundreds of people that said they could never run a 5k. The amount of pride and joy you see in these runners/walkers when they cross the finish line is amazing. I encourage you to find a Run For God class in your area, strengthen your faith, strengthen yourself, connect with others. Running is a byproduct of the class and walking is allowed 🙂 but learning more about God, overcoming your own mental blocks, and connecting with strangers is what you will get from the class.
I have never been nor will I ever be the best in any race, age group or whatever. I know this but yet I try to better myself each race I run. About five or six years, not sure exactly, I was running on some trails and nothing out of the ordinary happened. When I got home my knee was swollen and I could barely walk on it. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. We have a friend who is an orthopedic surgeon and he took a look at it and said I would more than likely need surgery. Me, being stubborn like I am, said no way. I rested it and slowly started to run again. I ran with pain for over a year. For some reason I looked up Jan Heppner-McConathy, I don’t remember why for I had never wanted to get a massage before. Jan is so much more than a massage though. She told me I didn’t need surgery. Most runners that come to her that say they need surgery don’t. They just have an imbalance in how they stretch. They stretch 3 out 4 quads, 2 out of 3 hamstrings etc. It was a miracle. Within three days of stretching the correct way, I could run without pain.
When I run 1/2 marathons I have always finished in top 10% overall, usually in top 5%. My first half marathon was like a 1:45 and my fastest was a 1:35 ( I was in top 1% for that race). That race I was feeling it, everything was right ( I was also running 20 lbs lighter than normal and I was running mad at the world so those two things helped- more on that in a later blog) . That was two years ago. I ran my fastest that spring then my second fastest in August. This was emotional because it was the day of my dad’s funeral- yes I ran on the morning of my dad’s funeral (we all grieve in our own way)- on four hours sleep. I wanted it to be my fastest for him but it wasn’t meant to be. To be honest, I felt like running half marathons were getting to feel like nothing. I wouldn’t be sore or tired after them. God saw me getting full of myself.
My wife and I decided to do our first full marathon, Nationwide Children’s Hospital, in October 2013. We did our long runs together but for some reason when we did 15, 16, and 17 mile runs, I started cramping bad and my hip started hurting. I never ran more than 17 miles during training but my wife went up to 20. We started the race and everything felt good. We were running with the 3:45 pace group , which would qualify my wife for Boston. Around mile 16 she had to stop to use the bathroom, which seemed like it took forever. We started to go again and within a mile I felt my knee go. I told her to go on and I would finish one way or the other. I’ve always considered myself to be mentally tough, sometimes to the point of being stupid but hey, I am what I am. I kept going, run ( or should I say hobble) until it hurt too bad to run, then walk, then repeat. It took me longer to do the last 9 miles than it did the first 17 but I did finish in 4:25.
I gave my knee some rest and tried to run again a couple weeks later and couldn’t go. From my past experience with my knee, I thought I could just stretch more and run it out little by little and it would get better. It didn’t. I had an MRI done and was told I tore my meniscus. Not only that, it was torn where it couldn’t be fixed, only taken out. Doctors advice : NEVER RUN AGAIN. I could walk fine, go up and down stairs fine, workout fine, etc. the only thing I couldn’t do is run so doctor told me as long as I could do those things, we could hold off on the surgery.
I bought a bike. An expensive last year model half off bike that still cost too much. If I couldn’t run, at least I was going to figure out how to get some workout in. I liked it more than I thought I would but it wasn’t running. I was able to see parts of my town and surrounding areas I had never seen before. I enjoyed it but I didn’t enjoy having to ride 2-3 hours to get the same benefits of running 45 minutes to an hour.
Over time I would try to run here and there and some days I could do one to two miles and other days I couldn’t do 100 yards. One thing I did do almost every day was pray to God that he would heal my knee. Stupid prayer I know considering how many people are dying every day from cancer and other illnesses but God says in Matthew 21:22 “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” I was willing to trust God, even if the answer was no. Something would come from this, even if I could never run again.
January 18, 2015. Go get on the treadmill. Huh? Go get on the treadmill. The voice in my head was telling me go. So I went. I ran 3 miles for the first time in 15 months. When it started to hurt, the voice said keep going, push through it. So I did. A couple days later, go get on the treadmill. So I did. I ran 5 miles. A couple days later, go get on the treadmill. So I did. I couldn’t run a mile. Hey God, what’s up with that? Hey Rob, read Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Ok God, I get it. I give it all to you. If you heal my knee, I will run for you, run with a God shirt on, and I will live my life for you. I will not be perfect, but I will be better than I have been.
Over the next 3 months I was able to run. No pain, unless my stride was too long on a step or two. Because of circumstances at work, I had to work three weeks straight in April leading up to the race. There goes the training I had planned. In this life, there will be troubles and setbacks. Whenever you make a commitment to the Lord, be prepared to face the enemy’s unrelenting attempt to set you back. I could’ve said I am not ready, I can’t do this race. But I made that commitment to God, heal my knee and I will run in Your name. I had one run longer than five miles in the three and a half months, and 18 months since my injury, leading to the race. I was not ready. The temperature rose fifteen degrees in 2 hours. I ran 30 minutes slower than my slowest race ever. I was grateful. I met a guy who ran with me a couple miles and we shared our faith in God together and I can tell you I have never done that, in a race or in life. I was grateful.
I am still running without pain and some thoughts come in my head to go get a MRI done again just to see if it’s healed. I won’t do that. I know what God has done for me. I have no doubts it is healed. I would gladly never run another step if a cure for cancer could be found for I know my injury and healing of it means nothing to those that fight for life everyday and I would gladly give it all up for them.
Is it a coincidence that since January, when God and I talked and I actually started to do what I said I would do for Him, not what I wanted to do for me, that my life is different. That I am now sharing my faith, my words, my music. When I kicked the doubts out about paying to have my music done, boom my heart grew. When I kicked out the doubts about sharing my life and my words, boom my heart grew wings.
Have faith. Pray daily. In God’s time, your prayers will be answered. It took over a year for me to run again. It took five years for all the pieces to fit together for my music to be shared. Trust in the Lord.
Now my playlist. I hate to put 27 songs on here but that’s always my goal. Two songs per mile, 13.1 miles, 26 plus 1, just in case, songs so here goes. Keep in mind I am a lyric guy, not a beats per minute guy. I’ve changed some over the years but I would say at least 15-16 of these have been my running partner for a long time.
Shine by Three Doors Down- this is my time, let’s go
Never Be Here Again by Hoobastank – So true, never know when your running days are behind you, is this your last race?
Our House by Burn Halo – could be greatest college football song of all time
Next Contestant by Nickelback – who am I passing next
Rise Up by Green River Ordinance – time to rise up, there may not be a second chance
Best Day of My Life by American Authors – I’m running with 15,000 of my closest friends, what could be better
I Just Wanna Run by Downtown Fiction – title says it all
Scars by Papa Roach – one of my favorite bands and this song take me somewhere
You’re Going Down by Sick Puppies – listen to the lyrics, yes I feel the heat coming off the blacktop and it makes me want it more
Just Run by Digital Summer – you think you have what it takes, let’s find out
Play It Again by Luke Bryan- love this song. gets me in a good mood
A Lifetime by Better Than Ezra – honestly I could see me doing something like this
I Lived by OneRepublic – Give it all you have and live life
Face Everything and Rise by Papa Roach – halfway done or so, time to put up or shut up
Born Again by Newsboys – time for God to get me through some miles with the next few songs
Good To Be Alive by Skillet – my fav Christian band.
Promises by DA Truth – Gods promises will always get you through
Dear X, You Don’t Own Me by Disciple – put the pain out of my head
Always Remember by Stereoside – reach down and dig deeper
In My Head by Jason Derulo –
Eye On It by Tobymac – time to start thinking of the finish
Centuries by Fallout Boy – you will remember me
The Champ by Nelly – I’ve been training for this
My Body by Young the Giant – my body says quit but my I want more
Born to Rise by Redlight King – we are the ones with the fire inside
The Champion In Me by Three Doors Down – I was born to be this way
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor – how else would I finish
When I started writing, I thought my third post would be on my running, what God has done for my knee and my running music but God has put something else on my heart. As much as I really don’t want to write what I am about to write, for every excuse I make God keeps telling me to write it so here goes.
I think I am a good person. I work hard, take care of my family, go to church, read the bible and devotionals on days other than Sunday, don’t lie, don’t curse (unless a bad word slips out once in a blue moon) but when I really evaluate where I am, I suck. I live a good life but what’s my purpose. I don’t have anyone I would call a close friend, I don’t verbally speak of my faith (let my actions speak for themselves), I don’t even really talk to my family. I have always provided, encouraged and supported them but have I ever really talked to them? I can pray that they would see who I am and follow my example of a sinner who is trying to live his life for God but do they? I have let many friendships go simply because I didn’t work at them. I would leave a job or a relationship or graduate and, for me, it was on to the next thing. Everything and everyone that was in that life, see ya! On to the next big adventure and people, and when that adventure was done, I was gone. I take full responsibility and for those of you that know me and that may read this, I am sorry.
I am like the song by NF called Mansion. Someone hurt me so I put up a wall. Another and another and another. Before I knew it I have a mansion in my head and now I can’t get the doors unlocked. I don’t get close to anyone. Including my own family. Even though I think I am a good husband, father, son, brother I know I don’t call home enough, don’t ask how they are doing, don’t talk enough to my daughters or wife. Heck, maybe they like it that way. Of course that’s the walls talking. Don’t knock me down, they don’t even want to talk to you.
Today, God has me opening a door. I can only pray that this is the beginning of tearing the house apart. Scary thought but it’s time I lived the way God wants me, wants us, to live. I can only tell you I will do better. I can’t say I will ever talk as much as you want me to but let’s turn some doorknobs together and get some of these doors open.
How did God open this door you ask? I read the same 4-5 authors and maybe every once in awhile throw in a new person but for the most part, stick with who I know. Back in September 2014 Karen Kingsbury came out with a book title “Angels Walking,” and I read the excerpt and thought it sounded good but.. I had never read her books. I wrote it down but kept putting it off then finally I got it a few days ago and read it in two days. Loved it. One thing I got from it was when Marcus thought because of his clean living that he would make an impact on someone but he hadn’t. That he really hadn’t talked more than surface talk with the guy. (That’s me to a t) The other thing was the main character Tyler. How he just walked away from everyone he knew and loved over something petty. Don’t want to give away too much but I could seriously relate to him. Coincidence that I just happened to read it 8 months after it came out at the exact time I started this writing project, I think not. Angels are walking with me.
I titled this Signed, Anonymous because I feel like that’s how I have been living. Just another person in this world doing enough to get by and living my life anonymously. No one knows me, knows my thoughts, my heart, my dreams, my feelings and I don’t want to live that way anymore.
Signed, Rob
Today, talk to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Reconnect with an estranged family member. You never know when today is your last day, don’t live with the regrets of yesterday.
As always, taking $10 donations to get our ep or cd out (depends on amount of donations). We will probably have second song done soon which I will pay for but any help for the future would be appreciated. You will get a copy of the cd when it is done. Will keep you updated on first song when it is on itunes.
I was thinking, what songs do I know to go with my topic. (beside Mansion). Then I heard Anonymous and then God just started filling my head with others.
Mansion by NF – Wow, first time I heard this song I was like holy cow, how did this guy get inside my head? Anyway, here it is. Could’ve been written by me.
Anonymous by Three Days Grace- I’ve liked all their cd’s.
Another Me by Sister Hazel – Another of my favorite bands.
Honestly by Carl Cartee – Don’t know if this song is exactly for this topic but it has always hit me hard because Honestly, I need to be broken, Honestly I need to fall down and after I did, I am new and alive.
Unwell by Matchbox Twenty – The band that got me back into music. I didn’t care for much of the grunge music in the 90’s then Yourself or Someone Like You came out.
I Will Never Let You Know by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio –
Tomorrow by Sixx AM – I could probably put 4 or 5 songs by Sixx Am on here. If you haven’t read Heroine Diaries by Nikki Sixx, it’s good. The demons you fight to get out alive…
We Are The Broken by Seventh Day Slumber –
Walk On The Ocean by Toad the Wet Sprocket – This song for the friends I have walked away from.
Here’s To Us by Halestorm – This song is for the friends I wish I still had, Wish I had people that I could say this to you. There have been more than a few days that have kicked my butt. There is still time …a few curse words but in context they work for this song
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Happy, or should it be Thankful, Memorial Day. In honor of all those that have served for our freedom. Thank you to the ones who have passed, the ones who have not came back the same, the ones who fight every day (even when they are not on the battlefield), thank you to all who have served and who will serve.
My dad served in the Vietnam War. He never talked much about it and I never asked. To be honest, I can say I didn’t care that much. Now he is gone and I will never be able to tell him thank you. It wasn’t until his funeral I found out he had lived with the effects from Agent Orange. How could I not have known? How could I have never asked ? This memorial day has hit me harder than any ever. Yes, I know the freedoms I have from those that have served, but I believe it was something I just took for granted. Many of us in this country take this for granted. We have not seen firsthand how many in the rest of the world live (and many in our own country), not only to not be free but just to have food, clean water and shelter on a daily basis. There were many instances (from the Field of Flags, songs, videos and news stories) this weekend that have brought tears to my eyes. I know it’s too late but I pray you hear me in Heaven, thank you Dad.
Today visit a veteran. Help a widower and their children. Give to a charity for a veteran. Don’t know any veterans? Go to a senior citizens living center and talk to someone there. I bet they would love the company and probably know a veteran they could talk to you about.
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
There are so many songs and even entire cd’s ( Act of Valor movie soundtrack or American Soldier by Queensryche) that I could list here but I wanted to list some that maybe many of you have not heard of, as well as a few most of you have. Some I have not listed but you can look up George Jones- 50000 Names, Sammy Hagar- Remember the Heroes, John Michael Montgomery- Letters From Home, Drowning Pool- Soldiers, Chely Wright- From the Bumper of My SUV, Mika- Heroes, Carrie Underwood- Just A Dream, Van Zant- These Colors Don’t Run, Charice- Note to God, Letter Black- While You Were Away, Darryl Worley- I Just Came Back From A War, Nathan Fair- Fallen Soldier, Tracy Lawrence – If I Don’t Make It Back among many others.
Talk video, not a song but worth watching.
10 years, I Miss You Daddy by DJ Sammy (feat. Do) – Seriously, I have never listened to this and not cried.
For You by Keith Urban –
Soldier’s Light by Rylee Preston- Amazing song by 15 year old girl.
Soldier, I Thank You by Jordan Leigh –
I Want You To Live by George Canyon –
A Soldier’s Memoir by Mitch Rossell –
Bagpipes Cryin by Rushlow Harris –
Goodnight Soldier by Derek Clark –
Soldiers Prayer by Collin Raye –
American Soldier by Toby Keith –
Soldiers and Jesus by James Otto –
Pvt. Ledbetter by Tesla – one of my favorite bands from the 80’s and today. Keep making music.
Letters From War by Mark Schultz –
Arlington by Trace Adkins –
If You’re Reading This by Tim Mcgraw –
I’ll Be Brave This Christmas by Big Daddy Weave –
Some Gave All by Billy Ray Cyrus –
My God, My Music, My Life 