From The Top Of The World

From the bottom of hell and on my knees

My rotting soul in the air I breathe

I hold my breath, want my lungs to explode

Fighting my mind from mistakes made a long time ago

I claw at my chest, want to rip out my heart

From this world I want to depart

I poke at my eyes, I no longer want to see

I’m sorry for things I’ve done but I can’t forgive me

I’ve become cold, heartless, and callous

Nothing but empty rooms in this palace

In this palace the demons say the lies are truth, they insist

From the darkness of hell they tell me the light does not exist

From the bottom of hell and on my knees

I find the strength to whisper please God, please

From the bottom of hell I give you my sins, my shame

From the top of the world you whisper my name

From the top of the world you shout my name

Advertisements

The Dream

Image result for my dreams

This was my dream. Leave my life and everyone I know and head to the city. This was my dream and not theirs. I packed my bags and headed out. I saw the tears fall in my rear view mirror. They weren’t my tears but theirs. I pulled out of the driveway and headed to my dream.

I stood on the corner and watched the world go by. How many people have stood right where I am? How many have walked this same street? I believed I was meant to be here. I was going to make my dreams come true.

I worked hard. Harder than most. I sung my heart out. I wrote words that touched those that heard them. I carried a smile everywhere I went. But my faith was wearing thing. My hope was fading with the sunset. I was tired. It felt like no one else believed in my dream.

My heart was turning into the concrete I walked on. My lungs were polluted with the black of darkness that consumed this town.  My thoughts were flying with whatever direction the wind blew. Every no was shaking my soul to the core. Why was I here? I didn’t even know anymore. Somewhere on these dirty streets I lost who I am.

I only needed one yes. One person to believe in me. One break. One…

I stood on the corner and watched the world go by. I thought about stepping off the curb and into traffic. I just stood their with my eyes closed and my heart exposed. Everyone walked by and didn’t say a word. If they only knew how close I was. One word was all I need. One word, one touch, one….

My phone rang. Mom. She always knew. How did she always know? It was time to go home. Not to give up on my dreams but to do a restart. I needed to go back to where I was loved. I needed to find me again.

I pulled in the driveway and saw the tears fall in my rear view mirror. This time they were mine. I let them fall down my face.

I was home.

Image result for my dreams

Coming Home by Keith Urban-  

Cry Pretty by Carrie Underwood-  

Bright Lights by Mathbox Twenty- 

All Along by Jordan Feliz- 

Never Been A Moment by Micah Tyler-  

Dad-Daughter Weekend

While Kim was in Boston Kylie and I decided to drive two hours to Akron to see Jeremy Camp and Micah Tyler in concert.  As you know from previous posts, Jeremy is one of our favorite artists and we see him anytime he comes to Ohio, no matter where he is.

We left Columbus at two and arrived around four so we could eat.  I thought for sure there would be a lot of places, like chain restaurants, to eat in the area but we could not find any.  We decided to stop about a half mile from the venue at a place called New Era Restaurant.  It was a nice little place but we found out it was mostly Hungarian food. I kind of have a rule, if I can’t pronounce the name of it, I don’t eat it.  I ordered a cheeseburger and fries. It was probably one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever ate. Kylie ordered the chicken tenders and fries and said the same thing.  Probably some of the best chicken tenders she ever ate.  Of course, afterward I was kicking myself in the butt for not trying something new and ordering Hungarian.

We were off to the concert and arrived early and picked up our tickets.  Kylie takes drum lessons from Leif, the drummer, and he is always gracious to talk to us and let Kylie help take down the drums after the concert.

I was looking forward to seeing Micah Tyler. His cd is really good and he has an amazing voice. He was very funny, told us his story and how God has worked in him, and was a great entertainer.

We met Jeremy after the concert and talked to him for a minute.  He was gracious enough to Facetime with Kim while she was in Boston and wish her best of luck in The Boston Marathon and told her with God, all this are possible, find your strength during the race in Him.

If you ever get a chance to see him in concert, I would highly recommend it.  He puts on a great show, has great testimony, and is always super nice.

I don’t know why my pictures are so bad. Take them with Iphone.  They look good on my phone lol.

Sunday we just hung out and did things around the house, since winter was still around. Kylie went to Young Lyfe Sunday afternoon and I actually went grocery shopping so Kim did not have to worry about doing it Tuesday when she got back. She needed some rest time. First time I had done that in a long long time. I actually enjoyed it. Of course, I bought meat dinners and a couple veggie dinners for Kim. Since there was a salad recall going on, I couldn’t buy her salads, that’s what she mostly eats. She eats like a rabbit and runs like a rabbit :).

Monday I made dinner, beef tips and noodles, after work.  Then we had to get the house cleaned up before mom arrived Monday night after the marathon.

Never Been A Moment by Micah Tyler – 

Different by Micah Tyler – 

The Answer by Jeremy Camp –  

My Defender by Jeremy Camp – 

Never Stopped Loving by Jeremy Camp – 

2018 Boston Marathon

Image result for boston marathon 2018 rainImage result for boston marathon 2018 rain

Image result for boston marathon 2018 rain

Welcome runners, today you will be running 26.2 miles with temperatures ranging from 38-45 degrees,  rain with some downpours and 25-25 mph headwinds the entire race.  Enjoy your run.

Monday was the worst conditions for the Boston Marathon since 1908.  It was so bad that 23 out of the 45 elite runners dropped out.  Not my wife,  she was a trooper and finished the race.  Not the time she wanted, 4 hours and 5 minutes – 21 minutes slower than last year, but considering the conditions, she did a wonderful job.

Then consider that it seemed everyone was 20 minutes slower. Last year, the women’s winner finished in 2 hours 19 minutes. This year, 2 hours and 39 minutes. The men’s winner was seven minutes slower than last year and the winner from last year, who finished second this year, was ten minutes slower.

Congratulations to Des Linden, the first American winner in 33 years.  She was even ready to drop out at one point but she kept on going.

Image result for boston marathon 2018

For all those that withstood the elements and finished, you are very tough and should be very proud of yourselves.

My wife wrote a post on her thoughts on it so I will share those with you now.

Last year for Boston I finished 3:44. My training this year for 2018 all shows I COULD do 3:30. That is what I was aiming for. No issues with my back or foot during my training since the start of December 2017. Fast forward to a week before the marathon and one begins to look at the weather app daily just to know what to pack. Didn’t look like it would be too bad for shorts. Think again… Friday before leaving ( left on Saturday) I packed more warm/ dry gear and rain coat and poncho. I prayed and prayed every moment I had that God would change the predictions for the weather…guess He was not having any change of mind. Why??? Let’s just get to it.. race morning… it was raining just sprinkles at first and the wind was not so bad. Get to the Commons to catch the bus to the start and it starts to rain more and the winds gust. My friend and I while on the bus kept saying we can do this we will do it. She is just so awesome! We knew our goals would be shot, we just wanted to cross the finish. Athletic Village was a mud pool. Have never seen so much mud in one place. Still raining and winds blowing. Never seen so many ponchos and umbrellas and garbage bags as coats in one place. Even plastic bags over the shoes. Anything to keep dry. Before the start runners are in the elements. We did have big white tents to stay under and this year they had the sides covered as well. Once you got in you didn’t want to leave. Standing room only. Lucky to find a piece of land to sit on ( if you dare). Before the start I had on 2 pair of running pants, 2 pair of socks, 2 dri-fit fitted running shirts ( long sleeve), 2 pair of gloves with surgical gloves over them ( to stay dry), had a plastic bag over my head with a beanie then a visor ( to keep rain out of my eyes) and 1 running rain/ wind jacket then an OSU rain jacket and poncho. Oh and plastic bags over my shoes as well as duct tape on my shoes. Yes you read right– duct tape. What did I end up shedding? I got rid of the blanket, poncho and plastic bags over the shoes. The duct tape came off during the race. All I wanted to do was finish. I ended up stopping at one point after the half way mark because it was either vomit or use the potty.  The hills I made up, I tried to dodge puddles of water on the course but it got to the point there was no way of doing that. My visor stayed on the entire time which surprised me due to the 25-30 mph winds at our faces. The rain at times pounding down on us ( from either side). When the rain would fall harder the crowds got louder. So many wonderful spectators braved the windy, wet, conditions with us. So thankful! Each mile I just thought of those I was running for and the words that stayed in my head of encouragement. I won’t lie, I questioned myself, thought about just stopping but God had other plans for me. Plans to show that through tough, uncomfortable, out of control situations not only was He there but I could do it! Sure I questioned my attire, my hydration, the food I ate prior, my gels all of that ( shows the competitive athlete in me and the heart for the sport) and the stopping to use the potty. My spirits were crushed after the race for sure because I had a plan and goal in mind and it did not happen. I felt as if I failed. I won’t lie I had s good cry at the end and even in the airport waiting my flight home. Then I heard God and read ( truly read) the texts coming in from my loved ones.. I did do it. I battled the toughest weather conditions for the Boston marathon since 1908 ( for the record this was worse), 23 ELITE runners dropped out! I may not of hit my goal but I did it— soaked to the bone I did it. I finished this year in 4:05. That is roughly 20 minutes over my time last year. So with the weather conditions I faced on Monday I will truly take that as a win in my book. I want to thank my family, friends, volunteers and spectators for this year at Boston. My family is a huge supporter in what I love to do and I know Kylie and Rob have to put up with a lot from me during training. None of this would not have been possible without them, without the love and support from family and friends. At first I felt defeated crossing that finish line but as I sit back and take full perspective of the days events God taught me so much more. He wasn’t laughing at me, downing me He was praising me for fighting the course and staying strong! Sorry no pictures but Kathy and I were in another state of mind and taking pictures was the last thing in our minds. I love Boston and I will be back. I have other halves to look forward to this year as well as Columbus full ( where maybe I can get my 3:30 finish) Boston Strong! Kim Strong 2018!

Image result for boston marathon 2018 rain

I Am Still Here

What a crazy few weeks.

We went on vacation to Florida to see Kim’s parents. We go there every spring break. It was beautiful weather, sunny and 80’s everyday. I wrote a few years ago about Kim’s mom was starting to have signs of Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately we noticed this time that her short term memory has become really bad. If you can, say some prayers for her please.

Then I go back to work and it was a mess. It took me three days to get things back in normal, if there is a normal he trucking industry, and get trucks back to running and being where they should be.

Then just when things were getting back to normal, one person I work with needed a day off so I took their work on Friday. Then Monday of the next week another person needed off so I took their work on. Then Thursday and Friday of that week another person had surgery and was out so I took their work on.

Now we are into this week And I am just trying to breathe. I am trying to start reading other’s posts and starting to write some myself. I actually have maybe 7-8 stories done or almost done so I will be getting some new material out soon.

Oh yeah, so during all that busyness, I had an iTunes update and it erased all my music and playlists. So I have been trying to get that back, with no luck. If anyone knows how to go back to where I was please let me know. I have looked online and it seems like this happens often but I try to follow what they say to do and nothing works.

My wife Kim just ran the Boston Marathon for the third time Monday. It was miserable weather. I will write another post on it.

Until next time…

Happy spring, winter, spring, winter, ….

Love, Not Hate: Continue To Love

Image result for eagle with tears

Image result for westerville funeral procession for police

The birds gathered in mourning again

Another school shooting, when will it end?

Another police officer killed in the line of fire

The evil tragedies were making the birds feel dire

The hawk looked at the eagle and asked, “what can we do, what can we say?”

“Why do they always seem to choose hate?”

“Why do they choose to live like this?”

“Sometimes, this life seems to be pointless”

Related image

The eagle answered as he shed another tear

“We can not give up, we can not live in fear.”

“We must continue to have faith.”

“In all this mess, God will lead the way.”

“We must teach them it all starts at home.”

“We must tell them we are never alone.”

“We must give this country back to God!”

“How we live now is deeply flawed.”

Image result for be the light quotes

“We teach not to pray in school,

that it’s all about me and forget the golden rule.”

“Young birds  don’t learn how to fail,

so when they do, they don’t cope well.”

“Their entire lives are out for the world to see,

everything has to be perfect and they can never be in need.”

“They post pictures and Snapchat with smiles,

not letting anyone see they are going through trials.”

Image result for trials show perseverance

“Holding it all inside until one day they snap,

do something that they can never take back.”

“It’s a tough world in which they live,

it is up to us to teach them they have so much to give.”

“Be honest and show some vulnerability,

Asking for help doesn’t mean you have a disability.”

“Hawk, we must stand strong,

show this world where they have gone wrong.”

Image result for be the light quotes

“We must give life and not take,

wake from their slumber, they must wake!”

“We must lend a helping hand,

we must heal this land!”

“They must know they are truly loved,

they must know about God above.”

“We will stand united in the face of adversity!”

“We must live our lives purposely,

showing love to all who enter our nests,

by going out in the world and telling the rest

about the good news of the one who died,

the one who loves, we must put away our pride!”

“We must remember when the winds are strong,

that even the strongest winds don’t last that long.”

“When the wind blows out the light,

we have to be persistent to reignite.”

Image result for be the light quotes

“We can never give up!”

“We must stop the hate and continue to love.”

“We can never, ever give up the fight!”

“Let our light light up the darkest night!”

Then the hawk, who was still new to the faith

Asked the eagle,  “how do we get others to see things our way?”

“We lead by example,” said the eagle, “let our actions be clear.”

“No matter the hate, no matter the terror, we will not fear!”

“We will pursue the enemy, even when they hide,

we will win because God himself will fight by our side.”

The hawk and eagle then flew over the land

Many other birds joined them, taking their stand

Their numbers grew as they flew from shore to shore

They helped birds, other animals, humans, and more

They talked their words but backed them up

These birds were showing the world how to love

Will you join the movement and show others how to live?

Let your actions show by the way you give

Never ever be dismayed and never ever give up

Help us make hate extinct as we always show love

Image result for eagle with tears school shooting

Image result for QUOTES about love instead of hate

Weep With Me by Rend Collective – 

Not Even Now by Alisa Turner – 

Bleed The Same by Mandisa – 

Help Us by Tasha Page Lockhart – 

Give Love by Andy Grammar – 

Divided States of America by The Script –  

Prayer For Peace by North Mississippi All-Stars –  

Moving Forward by G.I. – 

Faith Hope Love Repeat by Brandon Heath –  

Come, In Our Dark Time by David Haas – 

I’ll Keep On Praying by Karen Peck – 

Love, Not Hate: Tragedy At Mandalay Bay

I was sitting in church and some of these words started coming at me.  I said no God, I can’t write about this. Even though all the Birds stories are based on real-life events, I can’t write about this one. God was silent until I got home then the words started coming again faster than I could write them down. I don’t know if the right words were written down, I tried to remember them as they were coming, but I hope I can bring some healing to the tragedy.  So…..

Image result for mandalay bay in memory

 

Image result for eagle crying

The vulture thought for a time

Then he thought this must be a sign

The hawk has abandoned me and our plans

I must now bring havoc to the land

He waited and waited for the day

He flew to the top of the Mandalay Bay

He let his hate fly through the air

Who they hit, he didn’t care

In the lives he took he didn’t realize

That heroes were there to save lives

That love was still there even in the hate

For some, healing would be a long wait

The eagle and hawk stood together

These birds of different colored feathers

The eagle spoke first:

“Our land seems to be cursed,

From one tragedy to another tragedy

From one community to another community.”

“When times like these feel like the worst,

I implore us, everyone, all of us birds,

When it is so hard to see past our grief

When it is so hard….so hard to see,”

His voice cracked as he spoke

“We must never, never give up hope!”

“This tragedy truly breaks my heart,

But I know a light will shine from the dark.”

Image result for ephesians 6 12

“Let us remember the ones that have been lost,

A senseless tragedy that has a great cost.”

“But let us learn from this tragedy,

There is a power inside you and me.”

“We must continue to let our light shine

For love has been here since the start of time,”

“Love was here then and love is here now!”

“I will, we will show love and that’s our vow.”

“We will not hide, we will not be afraid!”

We will not sit quietly, tomorrow is a new day”

Image result for love in a tragedy

 

Then the hawk let out a deep sigh

A tear escaped his eye

“Dear hate, you held me captive for many years

And I let you because I had so many fears.”

“I feared that I was not worthy of love.”

“I believed in this world and not God above.”

“I was public enemy number one,

And I can’t change all the bad I have done.”

“But I changed my thinking and I changed my heart,

And that’s when I escaped the dark.”

“Hate, you will not win!”

“We have a greater love within.”

“Birds, we must continue to make a better tomorrow.”

“We cannot be overcome by our sorrow.”

“We will overcome, good will come from this tragedy.”

“Change starts with love, change starts with you and me!”

Image result for bible verses on fighting evil

Then the hawk and eagle joined wings

Friends had been made out of enemies

We cannot undo what has been done

We must let love rule, we will overcome

We will not let racism and hate destroy our land

We will show compassion, be virtuous and let love be our stand

From the streets to the steeples

We will love God, we will love people

Image result for eagle crying

Image result for mandalay bay in memory

 

Dear Hate by Maren Morris – 

Why Not Me by Eric Church – 

Love Will Always Win by Travis Greene – 

Hope Is Marching On by Matt Redman – 

You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell-  

Drink A Beer by Luke Bryan – 

Find You There by Ellie Holcomb – 

Overcome by Jeremy Camp – 

Pray For The World be Deon Kipping- 

Healing by Blessid Union of Souls – 

Dear X, You Don’t Own Me by Disciple-  

Might To Save by many but I chose Laura Story –