Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. She is all I can think about these days. She is, or should I say was, a beautiful, unique, blah blah I could go on and on person. She made me laugh. She made me cry. I rooted for her to win.
Then I killed her.
Some of you might have seen it coming. Some, not so. After writing about her for three novels, I was bound to run out of story lines, was I not?
So in my last novel, I killed her. Well, technically, not me. I’m only a writer. Or you could say it was me that killed her. I don’t know anymore. I haven’t been the same since she has been gone so I will let you be the judge and jury.
As soon as I typed the last words of the novel, I started thinking it was a mistake. How can I kill her off? What will I write about next? Can I create another character as perfect as Jennifer?
But, I had spent the last five months of my life writing this novel and it went where it went. And now I am where I am.
Missing Jennifer.
In a way, you can say I loved her. I created her. She was everything to me. She was a part of my life for three years. Yes, I loved her. Maybe more than Tom, her husband in the novels. Yes, I miss her more than words can say.
She can’t be really gone, can she? But she is. 100% fact. Because I killed her. Well, again, I will say technically not me but when it comes down to it, it was me. I could’ve wrote that she killed the villain and lived happily ever after, but that is not what I wrote is it.
But, maybe, she isn’t really dead. After all, I’m the writer. I can bring her back.
All I have to do is start writing.
It was the storm of the decade. One that the locals will be talking about for years. The winds howled, the lightning struck, the rain fell from the heavens like the tears that fell from Tom’s eyes when Jennifer was murdered.
Tom always liked storms. The electricity in the air, the way the rain smell, how it felt like the world was being cleansed from its ugliness. Jennifer loved storms also.
Tom and Jennifer lived in the country, miles from anyone. Tom enjoys the solitude. Most people don’t get it, but Tom doesn’t get most people.Jennifer, on the other hand, was a people person. But it worked for both of them.
Tom sat on his front porch, watching the storm proceed with its cleansing.
It could not have been ten minutes when the large oak tree that stood thirty feet from their house was struck by three consecutive lightning strikes. It was within seconds of the third strike that Tom saw someone walking up his driveway.
Tom thought he must be seeing things. Like flash blindness after someone snaps a picture of you with the flash on. Just a blurred shape. But after a few blinks, the person was still there. Still walking toward Tom.
Tom sat there in silence as the person kept walking toward the porch. He wasn’t scared. He knew that walk. But he knew that it could not be her. That is when the sky lit up like the Fourth of July as more lightning struck.
He had no doubt it was her.
His lips said her name before his brain could ask how could this be.
It was a long, cold, dark winter. One that she didn’t think would ever end. There was snow, rain, and sleet. A couple of times there was enough ice to nearly break the branches on the trees. The little girl held on. She waited for the warmer weather, the better times, the warmth of the sun. She knew it would come, it was just a matter of time. As she waited patiently, she would say her prayers, she would thank God for protecting her and her mommy and daddy during these cold, dark, winter nights.
Finally, the day had come. The first bud of spring appeared out of the ground. The bud peeked out of her shoot and could feel the warmth surround her. She was filled with so much joy that, at first, she didn’t notice she was the only bud sprouting. After basking in the warmth of the sunshine for a few minutes she looked around, startled that she was the only one. Where was everyone else? Was she going to be all alone? Did she come out too soon? Was colder weather coming back and she would die because of her eagerness to sprout? She was filled with fear and doubt but she stayed strong. She knew God had a plan for her. It was then that a little girl saw her and started yelling for her dad to come see the new flower. The little girl was so excited that the bud could not help but smile. Her excitement was contagious.
A little while later another bud awakened. He also took a moment to take in the warmth around him. He then looked to see if the others had awakened and that was when he saw her. She was within inches of him and he knew he would love her. It didn’t take long for her to notice him either, even though it took the help of a little girl yelling “Look, daddy, now there’s two!”
They welcomed the spring with all the other buds that started to awaken. With all the other flowers around them, they knew they were meant for each other. When the rains came, he would lean towards her to cover her petals. When the strong winds came they would lean into it together, holding stems. They were inseparable. When the bees came they opened their petals for them so they could spread their seeds to other lands where there were no flowers. They also knew that the bees relied on their pollen to take back to their hives for food. It was a beneficial relationship. Everything was new and exciting.
Then summer came. It was a scorching summer, one like they had never seen. There was no water. Many flowers died but not our couple. They shared what they had with each other. Every little drop of moisture was shared between them. Luckily, they were also planted where they had shade for part of the day. They counted the hours down together until they were cooled by the shade. Every once in awhile the little girl would come out with a can of water and water them, helping to keep them alive. They were often too tired to open their petals wide enough for the bees to come but they did their best. They knew the only way to survive this summer was with the help of others. They prayed their prayers for rain, for cooler temperatures but it was not to be. Sometimes in life, God doesn’t answer prayers and there are reasons only He knows why. They had reached a point in their relationship that they were still together, but they didn’t talk much. Too much too worry about, too much life got in the way. When was their next rain drop, how would they make it through another day without food, why couldn’t they be like they were in the spring? Did they waste this whole season of their life? They knew better because they still shared the little water they had, they still protected each other but the excitement was gone.
Before they knew it Autumn was here. They had made it through the difficult summer and were enjoying another season of their life. The rains came again, as well as cooler weather. When he looked at her she was still the most beautiful, most loving, most caring flower in the garden. When she looked at him he was still the bravest, strongest, most handsome flower this side of Eden. They held each other’s petals more each day, knowing that their days were winding down. They reflected on the spring and the summer. Days when their love was new and days when they didn’t know if they would make it. They thought of their seeds spread far and wide, soon to be new flowers that would spread their love and beauty around the world. It wasn’t easy, they had moments of doubt but they fought for each other, they fought for their love. They survived.
Soon the cold winds blew again. They held on for as long as they could but with each passing day, their petals would fall off. They knew it wouldn’t be long now but they held on for each struggling moment. Relying on each other to get by. Praying for just one more second. She was the first to go, as she was the first to sprout. He wasn’t far behind her.
The little girl, all bundled up from the cold, looked at her daddy and said, “Look, daddy, the first two here are the last two to leave. I wonder if they were happy here, I wonder if they were in love.”
“Now, now,” said the daddy, “we know flowers can’t fall in love but if they could, those two would definitely have been like me and your mom. Through all the seasons and all the weather, the rain, the sun, the cold, they were standing right beside each other. Holding petals all the while.”
The little girl giggled. Through the cold, dark, winter nights she was safe as she anxiously waited for the first bud of spring to blossom again.
Our puppies are on their way to their forever homes today. I wrote this one last August when Reagan had her last litter.
I hope that in the short eight weeks we have had them that we have taught them patience and forgiveness by not getting upset with them when they potty where they are not supposed to potty. Or bite our toes and fingers.
I hope that we have shown them that even though families fight and argue with each other, that they may nip at your ears and growl at you and make you mad, they are still your family and at the end of the day, you lay down with each other and snuggle together and love each other again.
But most of all, I hope that we have shown them lots and lots of love and taught them to love. I hope that their new owners will take great care of them and will love them like we did.
Once upon a time, not too long ago, six puppies were born. They were all different colors. In no particular order, there was a blue one, a black one, a white one, a yellow one, a brown one and a red one.
These puppies played together since they were born. They ran, they barked, they fought, they wrestled, they ate together and did what all puppies do. But, most importantly of all, these puppies loved each other.
As they got older, they were allowed to go outside and play. They loved being outside and running until they could run no more. They would look at each other and laugh, tails wagging and tongues panting.
Then one day, new neighbors moved in next door. With the new neighbors came four white dogs. When they saw the six different colored puppies playing, they were not happy. The leader of the four white dogs called the white puppy over by himself.
“Hey there pup, why do you play with those different colored pups. Can’t you see you are not like them?”
The white puppy looked and around and said: “You know, I never noticed a difference. To me, we are all one and the same.” He then went on his way.
The very next day the puppies got a new neighbor on the other side of them. This new family had four black dogs. When they saw the six different colored puppies playing with each other, they were not happy. The leader of the black dogs called the black puppy over by himself.
“Hey there pup, who do you play with those different colored pups, can’t you see they are not like you? We are like you.”
The black puppy looked around and said: “You know, I never noticed a difference. But to me, we are all one and the same.” He then turned and went on his way.
This infuriated the black dogs, but what made them more mad was when they saw the four white dogs two houses over. They started barking and growling, which made the white dogs start barking and growling and soon they were running at each other. They started fighting right where the puppies were playing.
They destroyed the puppies yard. They broke their toys and knocked over their water dishes. They didn’t care about anything except destroying each other. Fur was flying, blood was flowing and yelps were going out from both sides. Even a couple of the innocent puppies were knocked down in the melee.
Finally the fighting ended and the white puppy and the black puppy stood together in tears.
“What have you dogs done? Look at you. You have hurt each other, you have hurt our friends, you have destroyed out land over what, the color of your fur? Look at the blood that flows from both of you. It is the same color. We are all the same inside. All of us puppies play together and live in peace with each other because we have been taught to love. We have been taught that hate is never the answer. We have been taught to build up, to raise up, not to destroy and tear down.”
“You are no different than all of us and you are no different from each other in who we are. The only difference is that you were taught to hate, you were taught that because of the color of your fur that you would always be at a disadvantage, or advantage. You were taught to disrespect authority. You were taught that you are the authority. But, in reality, you are nothing without each other. You are nothing without love. Try loving one another and getting to know one another and sure, you will find some things you do not like, but you will also find things you do like. The color of your fur does not define you. It does not define your past or your future. You can never fix what has happened in the past. But what is inside of you can define your present and change your future. Look deep inside you. Find a better way than this. If we can do it, you can do it. It is never too late to teach some old dogs new tricks.”
Sorry, been busy with these cuties and have not been able to write or read many posts lately. It is very time consuming taking care of seven puppies. In two days, they will go to their forever homes and it will be sad day for us but after a day or two of sadness and missing them, life will get back to normal.
My lovely wife takes care of most of the feeding and cleaning, I get to spend my time playing with them. We usually try to get them out of their pen two or three times a day for the last few weeks since they are older and more active. Luckily, we have had some warmer weather the last few days and have been able to get them outside. They love being outside and having all the space to run and explore.
Some of you might know that we are guardians for US Labradoodles. We have been doing it for several years now. Our first dog, Reagan, is now retired. Two of her litters ago we were allowed to keep a female to start breeding when she became of age. That age is now.
Our puppy, how long can you call her a puppy- kind of like your youngest always being your baby, had her first litter five weeks and two days ago.
When they are about four weeks old, they are walking good and now the fun begins. I get to play with them.
The stress of the day just goes away when you have seven puppies climbing on you and licking your face and shaking their tails.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a superhero. I wanted to fly like Superman. I wanted to have spidey sense like Spider-Man. I wanted to be able to heal like Captain America. I wanted to be like the Hulk for strength. I wanted to be like Waverider and have immortality and invisibility.
Or to be like Batman and have a cool car and weapons. Or like Ironman and have a powerful suit that could do just about anything. Or to have a magic ring like Green Lantern.
What’s my point, you ask? I don’t know except that I always felt like I was destined to be something more than I am. Maybe it’s me wishing people would notice me. Maybe I am wishing for too much.
But here I am. Much older than when I dreamed of being a superhero. In fact, much older than I remember dreaming at all. Life gets busy, time seems to become less, twenty four hours now seems like twenty. Do they have a superhero that has power to stop time? The Flash, yes, I could be fast and slow down time.
But unless I get bit by a spider or struck by lightning or some other strange mutant thing happens, I will have to still be me.
Then, the other day, the older me was thinking. I can be a superhero and I don’t need any super powers or cool suits or cars to be a superhero.
All I have to be is more human. Be more kind. Be more helpful. Be more forgiving. Be more courageous. Be more ethical and moral. Be more responsible and respectful. Be more tolerant. Give more than I take.
Let my words build people up instead of tearing them down.
I can be the Unifier.
But you also can be the Unifier.
Yes, I can do all of those things.
We all can do all of those things.
Yes, we can all work together and together we can be the Unifiers.
Let’s be one. All of us together as one to make this world a better place. Let’s stop tearing each other apart and let all of us become one, become the Unifiers.
