Immortal

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We rejoiced in another battle won. We have fought many over the last few months but this one was not only of joy but sorrow.  We lost many good men today, and I take the blame.  I am their leader and I did not lead well today. Something was wrong with me.

Looking back on my lifetime, I have fought many battles and I have never, not ever, not even once been nicked, scratched, cut or anything. I have walked away from all those battles unscathed. I have had men die, but they were far and few between. I have fought battles alone and never lost.  The enemy could not touch me.

Some say God must have His hand on me. Some say that I am extremely lucky.  I don’t believe in luck.

I have walked into cities that were destroyed by the black plague and I did not get sick. I have walked into small villages that were so decrepit that stray dogs would not even live there.  In fact, I have never been sick a day in my life. Not a cough, not a fever,  not even a single sniffle.

That all changed three days ago.

A few of my men and I were relaxing and drinking a few at the local bar. We parted ways and I started to go down an alley I had walked down hundreds of times. Immediately, the hairs on my arms and neck stood up. Something didn’t feel right. I drew my sword, prepared for battle. Two demons jumped from the shadows. I easily disposed of the first one. As I faced off against the second one, a thought came into my head. One that I never had before.

You can not win this one.

It came and was gone just as fast but it stopped me in my tracks. And in that second of delay, the demon swung his arm. I ducked but his long fingernails grazed my arm.  I came back at it with an uppercut and then my sword sliced through his neck.  His headless body fell at my feet and I was victorious again.

It was then I noticed I had been cut. My arm was bleeding.  For the first time in my life, I felt pain.

I fell asleep that night and woke in a cold sweat. Nightmares came to me and I could not escape them. I could not fall back asleep. My heart was beating out of my chest and my head was on fire. I tried to get out of bed but my legs would not cooperate. I fell to the floor. I stayed there until the morning light.

Morning came and it was like nothing had happened. I picked myself up off the floor. My heart was beating normal, the fever gone.  My strength was back.  I wondered if it had all been a nightmare. My imagination was running wild.

It was Wednesday. Drill day.  Every Wednesday when we were not in battle, my men and I had drill day. We went through the basic fundamentals of battle. Defense, offense, blocks, attacks, etc.  We also did obstacle runs and uphill runs to make us stronger, to have more endurance than our enemy.  I ran circles around my men. No one could ever keep up.  But today, I had nothing. Halfway through I dropped to my knees, out of breath. Out of energy.  What the heck?  My men teased me until they saw my face. I was pale as a ghost. I fell on my back and grabbed my cut arm. It felt like it was on fire. My heart was racing. My men picked me up and we walked back to town. What was going on?

Then I heard the voice again, you can not win this one.

You don’t know who I am,  I conquer everything and everyone, I replied to no one.

The next day we were attacked like we had never been attacked. So many demons. The battle lasted for two days and I made many mistakes. I could not think straight. I could not lead my men, I had no strength to do so.  I should’ve put my second in command to the front, to lead, but I was too proud. I kept telling myself I can get through this like I have so many other battles.  But this wasn’t like any other battle.  We won but we lost a lot of men.  A lot of good men and it’s all on me.

The fevers kept coming, my head was on fire.  My heart beat irregularly. I couldn’t catch my breath if I walked more than a minute. Yet, I was too stubborn to see the sorceress or the doctor.  Only weak people go to them. But yet, I could not shake what was happening to me.

You can not win this one.

I was getting sick of this voice. But I was getting more worried about the shape I was in. My people needed me, my town needed me. I had to give up and seek help. I could not do this on my own.  I went to the doctor and all their fancy machines, medicine, and spells. I listened closely, the rest of my life depended on what they told me I had to do.

I am slowly getting better, but I have let others lead my men to battle. I have taken a step back so I can take a few steps forward. It is a long road to recovery, but the doctors say I will make it.

I have come to realize that I am only a mortal man. A man who knows I can only be immortal when I pass this from this life to meet my maker.

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As I was writing part of this, I was listening to the new Building 429 cd and this song came on. Funny how God works.

Joy Unspeakable by Building 429- 

Soul’s Anthem ( It Is Well) by Tori Kelly – 

Miracle Or Not by Alisa Turner – 

More Than Gonna Make It by Alisa Turner – 

Long Year by Jackie Lee – 

 

 

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Way, Way, Way Down In The Deep

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Way, way, way down in the deep

Is a monster who is waking from a long sleep

If you are still enough, you can feel a slight breeze

As it slowly unfurls it’s wings

Can you hear the demons sing?

God only knows the horror it will bring

From way, way, way down in the deep

Is a monster who is not afraid of defeat

A monster who believes it can not be beat

Can you feel the electricity in the air?

A monster like this is truly rare

It will tear you apart and not even care

I don’t mean to cause you to panic or for you to fear

But many of you do not believe this monster is near

But it is closer than you think and its goal is clear

Its eyes are open, its wings have unfurled

It doesn’t care if you are a boy or a girl

It only wants to destroy the world

But tonight, I travel and I can not sleep

For way, way, way down in the deep

Is a monster that I seek

I travel to the darkest of places

Looking, searching for the tiniest of traces

Don’t worry, I am not afraid to face it

I feel the wind stir, I can smell the evil

It knows I am coming, it mistakes me as feeble

But God has chosen me to protect his people

I travel deeper into the depths of darkness

This monster thinks I am nothing, that I am harmless

But I won’t leave here without carrying its carcass

From way, way, way down in the deep

I have found this monster I seek

Before it fully wakes, it will die in defeat

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Made For This by Carrolton – 

The Elements by Tobymac – 

Nobody by Casting Crowns – 

This Could Change Everything by Francesca Battistelli – 

Monsters by Shinedown – 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories Crash

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How long has it been

My memory isn’t what it used to be

I try to remember when

But the memory seems to escape me

What your face looked like

How your voice sounded

As hard as I try and try

How many times? I haven’t counted

But everything is slowly slipping away

I move forward toward tomorrow

But God, how I wish I had one more day

If I had one more minute I could borrow

But I don’t and that’s how life goes

Another day, another memory fades

But I wish, I want you to know

I wish I said then the things I have to say

Your smile and the lines on your face

I try to recall the way you would laugh

Now I sit and talk to you at your grave

Trying to recall but more memories crash

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Dad’s Old Number by Cole Swindell- 

Dancing In The Sky by Dani and Lizzi – 

If Only by Escape The Fate- 

Heaven’s Not Too Far Away by We Three – 

This Is Your Song by Ronan Keating – 

Love Is Stronger Than Death by The The – 

A Tree That Touched The Sky

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I saw a tree that touched the sky

It hurt my neck to look up so high

I wondered if I could climb to the top

But after a few feet I had to stop

Doubt crossed my mind, am I worthy?

I think I am a little too dirty

What if I went a few more feet?

I wondered just what I would see

But another doubt, am I good enough?

Am I really worthy of love?

But a voice from somewhere inside

Told me to continue to climb

A quarter of the way up a whisper so small

What are you doing? Don’t you know you could fall?

Somewhere inside something told me not to fear

Don’t look down because the top is almost near

Halfway up I grew weary and tired

Voices everywhere telling me he’s a liar

Do you really believe he forgives?

Look at how you have lived!

So many wrongs, so many mistakes

Half your life you’ve been a fake

I reach for another branch, I must continue

Leave the past in my rear view

Why do you continue to climb?

What is it you are looking to find?

A voice says it’s not that far down

Let’s get back to solid ground

Another voice says you are almost there

It’s getting harder to breathe with this thin air

Maybe I should turn around

Back to the earth so green and brown

But something pushes me to go higher

I swear I can hear an angel’s choir

Three fourths the way I have climbed

Pushing onward, I am no longer blind

The negative voices telling me I must stop

Are still there but I listen not

I know why I found this tree

But this knowledge isn’t only for me

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I must tell you of all the truth I have acquired

On this journey where I had all my heart desired

But nothing ever seemed to satisfy

I was always searching but empty inside

I learned more the closer I got to the top

About grace and forgiveness and a true love

A few more branches, just a stone’s throw

When I heard a voice from a long time ago

Give it up, you are not good enough

Look at you, so unworthy of love

Do you really believe you can change?

Why don’t you turn around, reverse your way?

You are ugly and you have a terrible past

Even if you find love, it won’t last

The tree offered me another of its arms

I climbed higher, knowing there would be no harm

I knew in that instant my past did not define

The future was there for me to climb

Another branch or two

I was that much closer to the truth

But I felt the tree start to sway

I wondered if this is why so many walk away?

When the tree sways, people become afraid

So, way up here, I started to pray

For those in mansions, homeless on the streets

For those that always seem to win and those who are always beat

For those that are addicted to fight their pain

For those that have so much more to gain

I prayed for things unseen and those that are seen

I prayed for you and I prayed for me

Forgive me for what I’ve done

Into your arms I want to run

I no longer want to hide my face

I want to accept your love and grace

If you could help me climb a little more

I know I will never be who I was before

Then I felt a hand grab mine

He pulled me up to finish my climb

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Dear God by Hunter Hayes-  

Breakthrough by Chris McClarney – 

Here I Am by Lincoln Brewster – 

Breaking Point by Sanctus Real – 

Days Gone By by Hillsong Young & Free – 

What I Did Over Summer Break- August

We took a two day trip to Chicago. We went to Firehouse 51 where they film parts of Chicago Fire. It is one of Kylie’s favorite shows and a total surprise for her.

The main reason we went was to see the Cubs play at Wrigley Field. The Cubs Are Kylie’s favorite team and I have always wanted to go to Wrigley. Of course, you have to have a Chicago dog.

It was an exciting game.  The Cubs were winning 5-2 in the 8th inning.  A lot of the fans left and Kylie and I snuck up to the field seats.  We watched the last inning from nine rows from the field.   The Padres came back in the top of the ninth and made it 5-4.  Baez had to throw out a runner at the plate to keep it from being tied and the Cubs won.IMG_1447.jpg

Kylie wanted to go see “the bean.” I think she was almost as excited to see it as she was the Cubs.

Oh by the way, Kim rode the train with us from our hotel to Wrigley then she ran down Addison Street to Lakefront Trail and ran all the way to the Navy Pier and back to our hotel while we were at the game. Almost ten miles. She enjoyed running someplace new and enjoyed the time alone until we got back from the game.

That evening we went to the Navy Pier. The next day we took a bike ride down the Lakefront Trail before we headed back to Ohio.

Kylie started her cross country season and ran a race supporting the team. She finished four minutes faster this year than last year for this same 5k.

She starts her last year of middle school tomorrow and turned 13 yesterday so big things in store for her.

Enjoy the pics.

Go Cubs Go-  

Summer Water by Michael Ray  – 

Wasted Time by Keith Urban –  

What I Did Over Summer- July

July really started off at the end of June I guess you could say. Kim’s brother lives in a community that has their own firework show. They live on the 18th green and that is where they let the fireworks off so we had an up close look at them. Kylie took pictures for me. I love the ones with the firefighters in them with the tree.

Kim’s family were in from all over so we had a family reunion of sorts.

I also started writing a novel. I think I have a good story line and characters but I only about five thousand words in so have at least fifty five thousand more to go. There is the problem. I am not good in real life with filler words and small talk and dialogue but now I have to figure out how to do that in a novel. I am much better at short, to the point conversations, not in depth, long, descriptive conversations so wish me luck.

We went to Botkins, Ohio, and saw Jeremy Camp in concert with Matthew West, Rend Collective, and Koryn Hawthorne. It was my second time seeing Rend Collective, they are full of energy. It was my first time seeing Matthew West and he was really good. Jeremy put on a great show as always.

We talked to Leif and Kim had Jeremy sign her second Boston Marathon medal.

Word Of Life by Jeremy  Camp –  

Beautiful Things We Miss by Matthew West – 

Counting Every Blessing by Rend Collective – 

Won’t He Do It by Koryn Hawthorne – 

What I Did Over Summer- June

I feel like I have not written in a long time, probably because I haven’t. I haven’t even really done anything but busy summer things. I feel like I have missed out on a lot of good writing, stories, lessons, poems etc. from all of you and for that, I must apologize.

June started off hot and sunny for the most part. Basically, we spent a lot of time outdoors and at the pool.

The big hit of June was going to Cincinnati and seeing Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt, Jon Pardi, and Morgan Wallen in concert. We stopped in the way there and picked up Kayhla and saw the improvements they have done to their house.

And of course, I had a birthday.

June seemed to fly by and was over before I knew it.

Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset Repeat by Luke Bryan – 

Downtown’s Dead by Sam Hunt- 

She Ain’t In It by Jon Pardi- 

Up Down by Morgan Wallen –