Finding My Shadow

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I was a happy child. I was always smiling, always laughing. I was healthy. I ate good and exercised. I had a few close friends.

However, my best friend was my shadow. He went with me everywhere I went. He played the same games I played. He liked the same animals I liked. We were inseparable. Even when I went to bed at night, he was tucked in right beside me. When the lights went out, I would not worry because I knew he would be there in the morning when I woke up.

We would then start the day again. My shadow always right beside me. I would laugh and smile. We would eat together, play together, and at night we would sleep together. Through the years that would never change.

Until one morning I woke up and it did change. My shadow was gone.

I looked for him everywhere. In the glow of the kitchen light at breakfast, outside at the brightest time of day, and at night with my bedside lamp, but he was nowhere to be found.

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I became dark. My smile went away. I no longer laughed. I no longer wanted to play or talk to anyone, even my parents. I wanted to stay in my room all day and all night.

I wasn’t happy. Why would my shadow leave me? There was no explanation that I could find. I woke up one morning and everything had changed. I tried to snap out of it but couldn’t. My parents tried. Nothing worked.

I even quit looking for my shadow.

I lashed out at everyone. Just leave me alone. The darkness would not go away. I hated the person I had become. I felt like a prisoner, trapped in my own mind. I thought things I could not believe I was thinking. I felt like hurting myself, hurting others. I quit doing my schoolwork and I was getting into trouble at school.

Then one day, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw my shadow. It was only a glimpse, a split second, and I could’ve been wrong, but a hope came over me. A hope I clinged to. And as I started to hope, the darkness started to leave me. And as the darkness started to leave me, I started seeing my shadow everywhere.

And as I started seeing my shadow everywhere, I started finding me everywhere.

The darkness did not win. I could smile again. I was me again.

I know not everyone can find their shadow, if you need someone to talk to reach out to

Depression – 855-403-7229  ,

Text CONNECT to 741741

Suicide – 1-800-273-8255    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

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Image result for depression suicide quotes

Dodging Raindrops by 311-

I Miss Those Days by NF-

Fell From The Moon by 3 Doors Down –

Someone To Talk To by Tenth Avenue North-

Love Is Stronger by Matt Kennon –

I Smile by Lotte Sollie  –

Don’t Worry by 311-

Call On Me by Starley –

Carry On by Young Rising Sons-

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Love Not Hate: Love On Trial

So I posted this at 1030 this morning, and then I posted it to Facebook.  Now it is no longer on WordPress and it can not be found on Facebook.  I think the forces are out for people not to read this one.

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As with humans, the birds keep repeating history instead of learning from it. Catch up on their history with the links below.

Love, Not Hate: Part 1

Love, Not Hate: Part Two

Love, Not Hate: Christmas Eve

Love, Not Hate: A New Chapter

Love, Not Hate: A New World

Love, Not Hate: The Division

Love, Not Hate: The Reconciliation

Love, Not Hate: Tragedy At Mandalay Bay

Love, Not Hate: Continue To Love

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Some of the birds were in pain

Some of the birds cried in the rain

Another shooting, another tragedy

An opioid epidemic to escape reality

Nothing in their world was making sense

Every bird suspicious and on defense

One question asked by the birds of prey and the birds of love

Where is the eagle? Why has he abandoned us?

All of you were born with a heart to love

The cardinal, blue jay, vulture, warbler, the dove

But love has gone away over the last few years

While anxiety has increased, and with that fears

What can we do? The birds ask as depression looms large

Darkness has overcome the land as it seems no one is in charge

Then out of nowhere the eagle lands

Only to be taken into the trial to take his stand

“Where have you been?” the birds proclaim

On vacation or don’t care,” his reputation they try to defame

They all throw words of hate at him, both birds large and small

The birds all say you said would love and stay and defend us all

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Then the eagle looks at the birds scattered around, clears his throat and boldly speaks

“Your schools, your courts, your homes and some of your churches, you asked me to leave

I say love all and teach acceptance

But you preach intolerance

While the poor become poorer and the rich become more prosperous

Have I ever said not to help the least of us?

I ask you to lend a hand, to help each other out

But you scream hate and racist remarks you shout

I ask you to pick a brother up when he is down

But you use your beaks and claws to stomp him in the ground

I ask you to protect each other with your lives

But you kill each other with words as sharp as knives

I ask you not to store possessions but to give to those in need

But instead of sharing most of you would rather bleed

I give each of you a light inside yourselves to change all of our kind

But each of you denies that light, instead, acting as if you are blind

You ask where have I been? I say I have never left

I will even go so far as to say you have never been more blessed

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But what have you done with all these blessings

That’s a good question, many of you will be left guessing

But some of you will recognize the truth

I have given it all to the elders to teach all the youth

Parkland, Las Vegas, El Paso, Dayton. When will it stop?

I tell you when you love and all this hate you drop

You place me here on trial

But you, my friends, are in denial

I was there when the bullets took your loved ones away

I was there when you cried those tears of pain

I was there when the questions came

I was there when it was I who you blamed

I was there even though you have asked me to leave

I was there in your moments of joy and your moments of grief

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I was there in the deaths of the battlefields

I was there, protecting you with my shield

I was there when it didn’t rain in your barren lands

I was there when food was bountiful in your hands

I was there in every misfortune and every blessing

I was there when your tongues cursed me and when they were professing

I was there in those moments you felt uninspired

Yes, I was there when those shots were fired

Now I have answered your question on where was I

And I have said that hate is the answer to the question why

But I leave you with this when you wonder if I am here at all

Where is the love? Where are you all birds big and small?

Where is the compassion, empathy, and kindness? Listen to what I say

Fight for love, do not let the land be taken over by the birds of prey!”

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Why God by Austin French-

Where Is God by Michael Farren –

Questions by Tori Kelley-

Parkland by Duff McKagan-

Common by Maren Morris-

What If by India Arie –

Change by Mavis Staples-

1000 Promises by Building 429 –

 

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I Wish She Would’ve Kept Reading

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There was her book on the night stand

The only thing she left of her and me

With nothing but a sigh and a broken heart

I opened to where she stopped, page two seventy three

Who could leave with a story unfinished?

It was just two days ago she said it must be fate

She was so excited about the characters

It was her life, she said she could relate

I opened it up and started to read

It was right there where she stopped, in black and white

Gina left Tommy for some mystery guy

She knew in her heart that she was right

But, God, oh, God how I wish she would’ve kept reading

It was just a few pages over, just a few pages more

That Gina ran into her  mystery guys arms

She said she left Tommy for good, she swore and swore

But then the guy asked, what have you done?

I’m married, I can’t leave my wife

Then Gina looked at him in disbelief

It was right then and there she thought she would die

God, oh God, how I wish she would’ve kept reading

Just a few more sentences, just a few more chapters

If she would’ve stayed just a little longer

All this sadness could’ve been laughter

I read more and more, page after page

I turned the pages until I got to chapter twenty five

When Gina knocked on Tommy’s door

When she begged Tommy to give her another try

I thought for a few words that their relationship

Had a chance, that it might actually survive

But  my eyes welled up when I read the last words

When Tommy closed the door and said goodbye

I wasn’t surprised when I heard a car pull in the driveway

I opened the door and she asked, will you ever forgive me?

The only thing I could do was give her the book

And say I wish you would’ve read past page two seventy three

God, oh God, how I wish you would’ve kept reading

I shut the door and walked away

God, oh God, I wish she would’ve kept reading

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Better Homes And Gardens by Taking Back Sunday-

Beautiful Lies by Jana Kramer-

You And Me by Memphis May Fire-

Forever by Drew Jacobs-

Bitter by Citizen Soldier-

Back To Square One by Marty Mullins-

Who I Am To Stand In Your Way by Chester See-

Ashes Pt 2 by The Struts-

 

Your Hand To Hold

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Forgive me, I know I haven’t been myself

Sometimes I feel like I’m somebody else

I’m trying to do all I can

It’s nice just to hold your hand

I know we have had some good years

But the memories slowly disappear

When I forget where I am

It’s nice just to hold your hand

I know many times I ask you to repeat

I appreciate how you humor me

Now I don’t know God’s plan

But I sure am thankful He gave me your hand

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Thank you for remembering the foods I like

And for making my darkness so bright

Thank you for remembering who I am

I know I love holding your hand

One day my brain will forget to tell my heart to beat

I’ll be gone and you’ll no longer be with me

I’ll wait patiently in Heaven so grand

Until again I can hold your hand

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Remember For Me by Gordon Mote-

Throw Me A Party by Rita Wilson-

While He Still Knows Who I Am by Kenny Chesney –

Remember Me by Chris Mann-

Blank Stares by Jay Allen –

 

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Only One Piece Of Paper (A Poem For The Ocean)

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I was walking by the sea

With a piece of paper in my hand

I read what it said and threw it in

Then started to walk in the sand

But I hadn’t gone more than a few steps

When my conscious started speaking to me

I looked back from where I had been

What I saw I swear I could barely believe

For all these animals had tears in their eyes

There was a turtle tangled in a sick pack ring

Discarded by someone who thought it was only one

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There was a seagull who couldn’t sing

A plastic bottle cap stuck in its throat

There was a shark with a beer can stuck in its gill

There were many fish with plastic bags stuck on their fins

There was a whale with a belly full of trash that should’ve been in a landfill

I’m sure from things that people thought were only one

There was a dolphin who could barely breathe

A plastic bottle stuck in its blowhole

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Image result for animal caught in ocean trashImage result for animal caught in ocean trashImage result for animal caught in ocean trash

All these animals spoke to me from the sea

And a tear fell from my eyes

I walked into the sea and grabbed the paper I had thrown

I said goodbye to the animals

And took the paper back home

I threw it in the recycle bin where it belongs

Because my trash doesn’t belong on the land or in the sea

My trash doesn’t belong wrapped around an animals legs

My trash doesn’t belong in an animals belly

It belongs in the trash, even if it is only one piece of paper

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Love Song To The Earth –

Different World by Alan  Walker –

Better Than I Found It  by Danny Gokey-

Little Changes by Frank Turner-

Be More Kind by Frank Turner –

Truth To Power by One Republic –

 

Playing For The Crickets

 

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Out here playing for the crickets

Cause no one will buy any tickets

I’ve got a chorus of bullfrogs playing bass

Hundred lightning bugs lighting up the place

My dog’s tail beats an old metal trash can as if playing drums

He’s a little off beat but he sure knows how to stick out his tongue

A stray cat chimes in with a melody

An old dog barks because we disturb his sleep

An alligator joins in from the swamp

I like how he stomps, I pray he doesn’t chomp

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A thousand mosquitoes buzz overhead

I better play one they like or they might sting me dead

I play one about that old muddy creek

And they fly away content, leaving us in peace

I play another about a summer love that I let slip away

A raccoon decides to join the crowd before the night turns to day

I close the night with a few of my greatest hits

Then my butt tells me it’s tired of the sits

So I stand and thank my band and take a bow

My show is over and I look at the crowd

I thank the raccoon and the crickets

That’s all there is because no one will buy any ticketsImage result for lightning bugs in swamp

Songs For Missing Dad on Father’s Day

Dad by Tyler Wood –

Dad’s Old Number by Cole Swindell-

Hey Dad by Matt Stilwell –

Heaven Bound Balloons by Granger Smith-

Jealous Of The Angels by Katherine Jenkins-

Song For Dad by Surrender The Crown –

Miss You All The Time by O.A.R.-

Fishing With My Dad by Bobby Bones-

What I Wouldn’t Give by We The Kings-

Chevy and Daddy by AJ Sanders-