A Terrible Tale

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This is a terrible tale

One that doesn’t end well

If you must continue to read

You must know the hero will bleed

The hero fought all day and into the night

He fought a brave and valiant fight

I must tell you our hero was strong

Many an enemy did not last long

They died by his very own hands

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But our hero was alone when he took his stand

Our hero was very brave

But he died and he went to his grave

His story could have been different

If only a few others would’ve made a commitment

To stand by his side

To fight the good fight

His life could have been easily spared

But too many others are scared

Not speaking up for what is just and right

Tonight our hero drew his sword in his last fight

It could’ve been different, it really should have ended differently

In fact this terrible tale could’ve ended so magnificently

But because of you our hero has failed

This could  soon be your terrible tale

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Bullet Holes In The Sky by Mary Gauthier –  

When Legends Rise by Godsmack – 

A Few Good Men by Gaither Vocal Band –  

The Water ( Meant For Me) by I Am They – 

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She Calls Me Pops

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She calls me Pops

And I call her Dots

I say I love you lots

She just smiles and walks away

One of those games she likes to play

But I know she loves me, even if she doesn’t say

We were close through the early years

Over football we bonded through the cheers

When we lost, we even shared a few tears

Two peas in a pod, we were thick as thieves

At night I would be on my knees

Praying to God don’t let her change, please

But now she says this is what teenagers do, we rebel

I say, ” But you are not a teenager, you are only twelve.”

Then she does an uugggh or some kind of tribal yell

But I know this time is only temporary

Because I’ve been through it before, her sisters and me

So I let it go and wait for the time when she will see

That good old pops was smarter than she thinks

And not everything I do really stinks

Because it will be over before she blinks

Then one day on her wedding day

I will be the one who gives my dots away

We’ll be on the dance floor when the music starts to play

She’ll look at me and say “hello pops”

And I’ll smile at her and say “hello dots”

Maybe, just maybe,  she will say I love you lots

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Short Are The Years by Jason Crabb-  

Slow Down by Nichole Nordeman-  

Fast by Luke Bryan –  

My Last Breath by Black Stone Cherry-  

Female by Keith Urban –  

Woman, Amen by Dierks Bentley –  

Gracie by Ben Folds-  

 

 

The Last Of The Innocent

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I had one job. Why they entrusted me with this job I had no idea. I’m not the most reliable person, but that is another story. Perhaps they thought I had a strength in me that even I did not know I had. Perhaps they secretly thought I would fail.

Protect the child.

That was my one and only job.

The child was the last of the innocent. All the others have allowed the world to take their innocence away. All the others before had failed to protect their child they were assigned. I would not fail mine. I could not fail. After all, this child was the last. If I failed, all innocence would be lost.

As soon as I had put the the thoughts in my head that I could and would do it, the lies started. Do you really think you can do this? All others have failed, what makes you so special? Why would they even pick someone like you? All hail the king of double standards.

Then the fear followed shortly after. What if I can’t? What will happen to the world? Will everyone blame me? What will they do to me when I fail?

When I fail? A few moments ago I was thinking that I could not fail. How quickly the momentum shifted. It wasn’t even like I believed the lies and fears, but the crack had opened that made me not believe the truth, that I could protect this child.

At first, when I looked at the child I felt a huge burden on my shoulders. I had anxiety and my heart would beat a million beats a minute. Then the child would look at me and smile and all that went away. It wasn’t my job to protect the child from all the harm in this world. It was my job to show the child all that was good in this world. It was my job to love the child, unconditionally. It was my job to teach the child the way the child should go. It was my job to teach the child of hope, faith, and love. It was my job to show forgiveness. We all make mistakes and the child must learn from me on how to handle them.

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It was my job to show the child what a good man should be, even when the child was no where around. It was my job to be a light when most people see only darkness. It was my job to behave in such a way that if the child saw me, the child would not disapprove.

I realized my one job in protecting the child was turning into a lot of other jobs. They all worked together for one purpose, protecting the child.

In the end, it was a lot of pressure on my shoulders. I had to watch every move I made and every word I said. I had to not only teach love but show love. It became easier each and every day as I lived what I was taught and what I passed down to the child. It is a difficult world, one with a lot of jaded people. But, there are also a lot of good people. There is more hope and more love than I have ever seen before. There is light forcing its way into the cracks of darkness.

I could not let lies and fear win. It was my job to protect the child. Now the child must go out into the world.

Will you watch for the child and help when you see the child? Now it is in your hands. You, the world, must protect the child. It is time for us all to rise up and protect the last of the innocent.

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Pick It Up by Luke Bryan – 

Way Beyond Myself by Newsboys – 

Safe In My Father’s Arms by Sanctus Real-  

You Are The Reason by Calum Scott- 

Ready by Third Day – 

Running Again

Sorry, it’s been a few weeks but a break was needed. I was feeling overwhelmed. I try to read all the posts but it seemed like every time I turned around, there were another fifty posts and I couldn’t keep up. I have to learn to prioritize and I believe I have. Only have so much time in a day.

I was also reading Dean Koontz new book The Crooked Staircase. Another great book and a page turner that I didn’t want to put down.

Good news is I started running outside. I think all my problems from before with not being able to breathe or run more than a mile without stopping all had to do with being inside. The first time I ran outside I did three miles without stopping and at a pretty decent pace. Second run outside I did two miles a little faster.

Then this weekend I ran the bike trails. I probably did more than I should have but I haven’t ran them in six years plus and it was good to be out there again. Both are six miles and a difficult terrain. Lots of ups and downs and turns so I knew I wouldn’t go fast, it was all about building endurance and distance.

Saturday I would say I ran about five and a half miles of the six. I ran over three miles without my first break and then when I did take breaks, they were short, less than thirty seconds, then back to running. My breathing was good.

Sunday was a little different. I ran the other six mile trail and my legs were tired from the day before. Plus it rained Saturday night so parts of the trail were really muddy. Six years ago when I was running fast it would have been fun. But just getting back into it I didn’t feel like slipping and falling and possibly being injured or break something. I believe I managed to run four or so of the six miles. Lots of walking.

I love these trails. It breaks up the monotony of running on paved roads. They force you to slow down and run for fun. I love the obstacles.

I was glad I was able to get out and figure out I will be okay.

Kind of like life, sometimes you need the unpaved, muddy roads with obstacles in your way to overcome them and know you made it through and you will be okay.

Here is the aftermath on my shoes.

Doin’ Fine by Laura Alaina – 

Charlie Chases Cars

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Charlie was just a young puppy when he chased his just first car. Charlie loved the thrill of chasing cars. Charlie wondered what would happen when he caught one.

Charlie grew bigger and faster. Charlie ran every day to build up his strength to catch a car. Charlie didn’t have time to play with other dogs. Any dog that tried to get close to Charlie, Charlie would run over on his way to try to catch another car.

Then one day, Charlie was chasing a car when he saw Bella. The world stopped for Charlie. Charlie didn’t think about chasing cars as much.

Charlie and Bella fell in love. Charlie and Bella started having puppies. Charlie and Bella were happy. Charlie started to worry about how he could provide for them.

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Charlie started chasing cars again. Charlie ran and ran. Charlie would stay out late chasing cars.

Charlie and Bella started to fight. Bella was left all alone while Charlie chased cars. Charlie’s kids wanted him to be home more. Charlie’s kids wanted to spend time with their dad. Charlie kept chasing cars.

Then one day it happened. Charlie caught a car. Charlie was so happy. Charlie thought I finally did it. But in that same moment, Charlie had another thought.

Now what?

Charlie realized he had made it to the top but that he had destroyed his life. Charlie had no friends. Charlie and Bella didn’t talk anymore. Charlie didn’t know what his kids were like.

Charlie was miserable at the top. All the long hours, all the sacrifices, all the birthdays he missed to get there.

Charlie wished he didn’t want to chase cars. Charlie wished he could do things differently. Charlie wondered if they would ever forgive him.

Charlie didn’t want to chase cars anymore.

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Cat’s In The Cradle by Harry Chapin – 

Lose My Soul by Tobymac-  

Just Another Birthday by Casting Crowns – 

Love I Leave Behind by Hannah Kerr – 

Without You by For King & Country – 

How Could You Leave Us by NF – 

Without Love by Bon Jovi – 

I Know It’s You

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I know it’s you

Who checks on me from the doorway

I know it’s you

Who loves me without one word you say

I know it’s you

Who left the Bible by my bed

I know it’s you

Who taught me Jesus rose from the dead

I know it’s you

Who left the guitar

I know it’s you

Who wants me to reach for the stars

I know it’s you

Who loves me with all your heart

I don’t know it’s you

That inside is falling apart

I don’t know it’s you

That keeps all the pain inside

I don’t know it’s you

That crawls into the dark and hides

I don’t know it’s you

That fights the voices in your head

I don’t know it’s you

Who sometimes wishes they were dead

I know it’s you

Who protects me and keeps me from danger

I know it’s you

That’s taught me I can be a world changer

I know it’s you

Who kisses me goodnight

I know it’s you

Who tucks me in nice and tight

I don’t know it’s you

That has so much hurt and doubt

I know it’s you

That I can never, ever live without

 

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Your Rose Garden

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I watched you for what seemed like hours as you tended your rose garden. I never understood why you would want to have so many roses and why you would want to spend so much time out there. You would always say you loved the way the dirt smelled. You would spend countless summer days bent over the garden, sweat dripping from your brow, pulling the weeds and pruning the roses. You would come inside sweaty, dirty, and looking exhausted but you always had a smile on your face.

I don’t get it I would say. You would reply, what’s their to get. It’s my time to do what I love and it’s my time I spend all alone with God. You should hear the conversations we would have. I would always reply I don’t know if I want to and we would laugh.

Even in the dark cold days of winter you would get bundled up and go outside to walk the path through your garden. Talking to them, touching their dead branches. Of course, I didn’t get that either. Why on earth? You would always say that they aren’t dead. There is life inside of them. They are like a lot of people in this world. Walking dead but there is life in them. It’s up to us to bring that life out. Waiting patiently, for today they may appear dead but with tomorrow there is always hope.

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You are like that. You had a natural beauty that I was instantly attracted to but it was your inner beauty that would light up my heart. You could walk into a dark room and it would be like someone turned on the lights. It is the type of person you are.

Until one day you were taken from me. A teenager was texting and driving and ran into you. Neither of you survived. God needed his angel back and I had to pay the price. At your funeral the pastor recited your favorite bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Forget you God. If this is your plan then I don’t want any part of it. I looked out the back window and saw your rose garden. In my grief, I ran outside and I pulled and broke and cut every rose bush. I screamed and hollered your name. I screamed at God.

Out of breath, cut, scratched, and bleeding from the thorns, I dropped to my knees and let my tears water the lifeless dirt.

Summer turned to winter and, like the days , my heart grew darker and colder. I didn’t know how to live without you. I didn’t want to live without you. God should’ve taken me with you. My pain was too much to bear.

I looked out the window and saw the bare garden. I finally understood what you meant. Even if they appeared dead, at least they were still there. Now there was nothing but bare dirt. I grieved more as I recalled that day I destroyed what you loved.

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As seasons go, winter turned to spring. We had an early spring this year. I looked out the window and could not believe my eyes. Somehow in the very back of the garden, barely visible from where I stood, a rose bush had survived and now had two roses blooming.

I ran outside as fast as I could. I had to touch them to see if they were real. As I did, I could swear I caught a faint scent of you. Then in the spring breeze I could swear I heard your laughter. I immediately dropped to my knees and grabbed a handful of dirt. It smelled so full of life.

In that moment, I felt my heart start to beat again.

I went out and bought as many rose bushes as I could find. There had to be at least a hundred of them and I was going to fix what I destroyed. I was going to fix your rose garden.

I labored for hours that first day. I went to bed exhausted, sore and smelling like dirt but I would wake up refreshed, ready to start again. I realized I could not do it on my own.

I looked at my phone, hesitant to dial their number. I dialed anyway. I called the teenagers parents and they came over to help. I think all of us healed a little bit that day.

I watched every day as your garden came back to life. I spent hours out there talking to you. I slowly learned to talk to God again.

Summer rolled around and I was still in the garden. Sweat rolling off every inch of my body but it was okay. I stood up to take a break and I swear I felt your hand touch mine. I closed my eyes remembering what your touch felt like. I looked down at my hand but yours was not there. I started to lift it up when a beautiful butterfly landed in my palm. Then a sliver of light fell right on it, giving it its own spotlight. I smiled, then the butterfly fluttered toward my face and touched my cheek, as if giving me a kiss. Then it flew to a nearby rose and I did something I hadn’t done in a long time.

I said your name out loud. Kim?

Then a summer breeze picked up and I swear I heard it carry your laughter. Tears fell down my face but I smiled.

In your rose garden I found life again. I found you again. I found God again.

I miss you every minute of every day but it was right there and then that I knew I would never be alone.

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