Category: who am I

Who I Am

On By roberthansen1317In Christian life, who am I1 Comment

Have you ever wondered who you are and what you are put on this earth to do? I have those questions also, but one thing I have always taken solace in is that I know who I am. Even if I do not like myself sometimes. I put a little bit of me in all my stories, poems and songs but to put myself completely out there is scary but here goes nothing.

I am not a democrat or republican. I am an American. As in introvert, I naturally observe more than I speak. I look at all sides and make a logical decisions based on the facts and common sense.

The color of my skin is white, but that does not define who I am. My dna and family tell me I am part Native American, Irish, German, Scandinavian.

I am from a small town near the Appalachia Mountains. I am the first person from all sides of my family to go to and graduate from college.

I was raised to respect authority. I will never beat a woman or a child. I will never run from the police. I will never riot or steal. I will never do drugs. I will never sex traffic anyone. If I see something that is wrong, I will stand up for what is right.

I watched my parents struggle at times, financially, personally and in their marriage. I watched how they worked hard and persevered. I watched their mistakes and defeats. I watched what they did well and their victories. I chose what to do with all that and added to it how they and other family members raised me and I became my own person.

I am a husband and a father. At times, I think I’m good at both. Most times, I feel like I fail at both.

I am a son, brother, grandpa, nephew and uncle. I know I fail at all these.

I like to write and have a lot to say but when it comes to social situations or making/keeping friends, I am at a total loss of words. I fail at this.

But, none of those things are who I am.

I’ve made mistakes. Lots of them. I’ve been defeated. I’ve yelled at God. I’ve learned from my mistakes. And yet, somehow, I still repeat some of them. I’ve picked myself up off the ground and I’ve tasted victory. I’ve thanked God. I’ve forgiven and been forgiven.

I’ve been cheated on, lied to, used, abused, and dealt with racism. Just because I’m white, does not mean racism does not exist toward me. But none of those things have changed who I am.

I have been kind when others have been mean. I have loved when others have hated. I’ve been appreciative while others have been critical. I have been hopeful when others have been hopeless. And at times, I’ve been the others.

But what shapes me is all the above. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it has helped me become the man I am today. It is the choices I make . It is the integrity that I have. It is my moral compass. It is my character. This world will not change me. This world does not define me. The choices I make help me stay on the road I am on. I do not let circumstances bring me down. I wish I could change some of the things I have done and I wish I could change some of the things that have been done to me but if any of those things changed, maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I know what I am and what I am not. I will try to be better at what I am and never be what I am not.

But, here is the truth about who I am.

I am a child of God and I believe that I am loved and forgiven.

Nobody by Casting Crowns –

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1yBzIt_z8oY

Who You Say I Am by Hillsong Worship –

https://www.youtube.com/embed/IcC1Bp13n_4

Child Of Love by We The Kingdom –

https://www.youtube.com/embed/jLUM48jPBBw

Child Of God by Crowder –

https://www.youtube.com/embed/O3vIqxGIzQw

In This Life I Call A Song

On By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, poems, Poetry, who am ILeave a comment

Image result for life in a song

I try to figure out who I am

And where I belong

Am I the chorus or just a note

In this life I call a song

Am I the hook?

Am I the bridge?

Am I a verse?

What is my image?

life, music, quotes, songs, stories, untold

Do I have rhythm?

Do I have a melody?

Do I blend together?

Am I simply a harmony?

Am I a symphony or an orchestra?

Am I the lead guitar?

Lead vocal or drummer?

Am I background or the star?

Image result for life in a song

Am I a bass or a cello?

A clarinet or a flute?

An organ or a piano?

Do I sing for me or for you?

Am I rock or rap?

Country or gospel?

Do I build people up?

Or am I harmful?

 

Image result for life in a song

Am I constructed carefully?

Am I just a bunch of noise?

Am I a tenor, baritone or somewhere in between?

What kind of voice?

Am I a one hit wonder?

Am I a classic to remember?

Will you remember me in years to come?

Am I just another pretender?

 

Image result for bible verses a song to sing

Will I always be missing a part?

Can I put all the parts together as one?

Start as a note or a word

And pray God can keep me from coming undone

I look around and wonder who I am

And where I belong

What part am I

In this life I call a song

Image result for life in a song

Image result for bible verses a song to sing

Lifesong by Casting Crowns – 

Where Do I Fit In by Mr. Big – 

Where Do I Belong by Anastacia – 

Where I Belong by Switchfoot – 

Where I Belong by Cory Asbury – 

Music Is Healing by Florida Georgia Line – 

Beyond The Music by Descendents – 

I Sing The Mighty Power Of Jesus by Todd Smith – 

 

 

Signed, Anonymous

On By roberthansen1317In Christian life, inside my head, music, who am I4 Comments

When I started writing, I thought my third post would be on my running, what God has done for my knee and my running music but God has put something else on my heart. As much as I really don’t want to write what I am about to write, for every excuse I make God keeps telling me to write it so here goes.

I think I am a good person. I work hard, take care of my family, go to church, read the bible and devotionals on days other than Sunday, don’t lie, don’t curse (unless a bad word slips out once in a blue moon) but when I really evaluate where I am, I suck. I live a good life but what’s my purpose. I don’t have anyone I would call a close friend, I don’t verbally speak of my faith (let my actions speak for themselves), I don’t even really talk to my family. I have always provided, encouraged and supported them but have I ever really talked to them? I can pray that they would see who I am and follow my example of a sinner who is trying to live his life for God but do they? I have let many friendships go simply because I didn’t work at them. I would leave a job or a relationship or graduate and, for me, it was on to the next thing. Everything and everyone that was in that life, see ya! On to the next big adventure and people, and when that adventure was done, I was gone. I take full responsibility and for those of you that know me and that may read this, I am sorry.

I am like the song by NF called Mansion. Someone hurt me so I put up a wall.  Another and another and another. Before I knew it I have a mansion in my head and now I can’t get the doors unlocked. I don’t get close to anyone. Including my own family. Even though I think I am a good husband, father, son, brother I know I don’t call home enough, don’t ask how they are doing, don’t talk enough to my daughters or wife. Heck, maybe they like it that way. Of course that’s the walls talking. Don’t knock me down, they don’t even want to talk to you.

Today, God has me opening a door. I can only pray that this is the beginning of tearing the house apart. Scary thought but it’s time I lived the way God wants me, wants us, to live. I can only tell you I will do better. I can’t say I will ever talk as much as you want me to but let’s turn some doorknobs together and get some of these doors open.

How did God open this door you ask? I read the same 4-5 authors and maybe every once in awhile throw in a new person but for the most part, stick with who I know. Back in September 2014 Karen Kingsbury came out with a book title “Angels Walking,” and I read the excerpt and thought it sounded good but.. I had never read her books. I wrote it down but kept putting it off then finally I got it a few days ago and read it in two days. Loved it. One thing I got from it was when Marcus thought because of his clean living that he would make an impact on someone but he hadn’t. That he really hadn’t talked more than surface talk with the guy. (That’s me to a t)  The other thing was the main character Tyler. How he just walked away from everyone he knew and loved over something petty. Don’t want to give away too much but I could seriously relate to him. Coincidence that I just happened to read it 8 months after it came out at the exact time I started this writing project, I think not. Angels are walking with me.

I titled this Signed, Anonymous because I feel like that’s how I have been living. Just another person in this world doing enough to get by and living my life anonymously. No one knows me, knows my thoughts, my heart, my dreams, my feelings and I don’t want to live that way anymore.

Signed,   Rob

Today, talk to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Reconnect with an estranged family member. You never know when today is your last day, don’t live with the regrets of yesterday.

As always, taking $10 donations to get our ep or cd out (depends on amount of donations). We will probably have second song done soon which I will pay for but any help for the future would be appreciated. You will get a copy of the cd when it is done. Will keep you updated on first song when it is on itunes.

I was thinking, what songs do I know to go with my topic. (beside Mansion). Then I heard Anonymous and then God just started filling my head with others.

Mansion by NF – Wow, first time I heard this song I was like holy cow, how did this guy get inside my head?  Anyway, here it is. Could’ve been written by me. 

Anonymous by Three Days Grace-  I’ve liked all their cd’s. 

Another Me by Sister Hazel – Another of my favorite bands. 

Honestly by Carl Cartee  – Don’t know if this song is exactly for this topic but it has always hit me hard because Honestly, I need to be broken, Honestly I need to fall down and after I did, I am new and alive. 

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty – The band that got me back into music. I didn’t care for much of the grunge music in the 90’s then Yourself or Someone Like You came out.  

I Will Never Let You Know  by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio – 

Tomorrow by Sixx AM – I could probably put  4 or 5 songs by Sixx Am on here. If you haven’t read Heroine Diaries by Nikki Sixx, it’s good. The demons you fight to get out alive… 

We Are The Broken by Seventh Day Slumber – 

Walk On The Ocean by Toad the Wet Sprocket – This song for the friends I have walked away from.  

Here’s To Us by Halestorm – This song is for the friends I wish I still had, Wish I had people that I could say this to you.  There have been more than a few days that have kicked my butt.  There is still time …a few curse words but in context they work for this song