Sorry, it’s been a few weeks but a break was needed. I was feeling overwhelmed. I try to read all the posts but it seemed like every time I turned around, there were another fifty posts and I couldn’t keep up. I have to learn to prioritize and I believe I have. Only have so much time in a day.
I was also reading Dean Koontz new book The Crooked Staircase. Another great book and a page turner that I didn’t want to put down.
Good news is I started running outside. I think all my problems from before with not being able to breathe or run more than a mile without stopping all had to do with being inside. The first time I ran outside I did three miles without stopping and at a pretty decent pace. Second run outside I did two miles a little faster.
Then this weekend I ran the bike trails. I probably did more than I should have but I haven’t ran them in six years plus and it was good to be out there again. Both are six miles and a difficult terrain. Lots of ups and downs and turns so I knew I wouldn’t go fast, it was all about building endurance and distance.
Saturday I would say I ran about five and a half miles of the six. I ran over three miles without my first break and then when I did take breaks, they were short, less than thirty seconds, then back to running. My breathing was good.
Sunday was a little different. I ran the other six mile trail and my legs were tired from the day before. Plus it rained Saturday night so parts of the trail were really muddy. Six years ago when I was running fast it would have been fun. But just getting back into it I didn’t feel like slipping and falling and possibly being injured or break something. I believe I managed to run four or so of the six miles. Lots of walking.
I love these trails. It breaks up the monotony of running on paved roads. They force you to slow down and run for fun. I love the obstacles.
I was glad I was able to get out and figure out I will be okay.
Kind of like life, sometimes you need the unpaved, muddy roads with obstacles in your way to overcome them and know you made it through and you will be okay.
Here is a recap of last years training and race. The Ups and Downs of Training a 9/10 Year Old- and my spiritual life
Needless to say it was a struggle. I am proud to say I grew up. Last year it was all about pushing Kylie and Brinley, mainly Kylie. You have to get the miles in or you won’t finish. You have to do this or you have to do that and getting push back from Kylie.
This year was different. This year it was let’s get what you can in , do what you can and see what happens. Kylie was sick for a week and half and then a week after she recovered Brinley was sick for a week. Throw in the heat and humidity on top of that and there wasn’t much training going on. I really don’t think they even ran ten times in six weeks. They did do a five miler on the treadmill but the outdoor runs were always less miles than they were supposed to be because of the heat.
Was I ever surprised on race day. Even though it was hot they both set personal records. No, let me change that. They smashed their time from last year. Last year they finished in 1:17:22 (11:49 per mile pace). This year Kylie finished 1:09:48 (10:40 per mile pace). She took almost 8 minutes off last year, 1:09 minute per mile faster. Brinley finished in 1:12:18 (11:03 per mile pace). She took almost 5 minutes off last years time.
Kylie was strong the entire race. She surprised me at the water stations. I thought she would stop and walk but no, she stopped, drank, and was off. Maybe it was the music. This is the first race Kylie ran with music. Brinley started to struggle around mile four.
I ran ahead with Kylie because there was no stopping her and then I would run back and check on Brinley. Then go back up to Kylie and so forth. The last time I checked on Brinley a couple moms had taken her under her wing and said we got her, run with the other one. I love the running community.
After Kylie’s second mile she was faster each mile after that. That was even after taking a short walk break around four and half because her toenails were hurting. She even took another small walk break around five and half just to catch her breath from the heat. Those were her two fastest miles, beside mile one.
Anyway , I am so proud of both of them. Just goes to show you everyone trains differently. Some need pushed, some will just do their thing.
By the way, Kim had another strong run. She did awesome in the heat also. She finished in 1:42:04.
Then afterwards they celebrated at our church. Our church had youth small group kick off that night so they had lots of fun. Very busy day and they were wiped out when we got home. Their legs were sore the next day.
Go Big Or Go Home by American Authors –
Rock On by Tucker Beathard – one of Ky’s favorites right now
Say Something by Royce Lovett –
Play It Again by Luke Bryan – Can’t talk about Kylie without Luke
I ran today. Without pain. I don’t remember the last time I ran without pain. It was a lot easier to run, let me tell you that. I didn’t even realize I had no pain until I was finished and was like hhmm, that was fast and felt good. Then I got to thinking, did I have pain yesterday? I don’t think I did.
I had ran with pain for so long that I had gotten used to it. It was just an every day part of my life. A pain and irritating but it didn’t stop me from running. Well, it did stop me from running like I used to but I could still run.
Which brings me to my topic for today. Running with sin. How many of us are so used to sinning that we don’t even think about it anymore. It has just become a part of our lives. Lying, cheating, addiction, idol worship, spending more than we make, etc… We don’t even think it is wrong anymore, it’s just become a part of who we are.
We limp around everyday with the sin on our back. It doesn’t stop us from living. Not only sin but let’s talk about shame, guilt, fear, pride, etc.. The monkey is on our back but we just keep on going. Sometimes we add on to it until the weight becomes so much we can longer carry it. Then we break.
The smart thing for me to do when I am injured is to slow down. Take a few days off. Rest my injury so I can get back to a pain free run. However, I usually don’t heed that advice and keep going until it heals, which takes longer, or it hurts more, or I just get to the point I ignore it.
When I run with sin what should I do? Stop doing it. Pray to God to help me. I know it’s wrong but some things will take more than me knowing it for me to stop. I need to break the addiction. I need someone to hold me accountable. Maybe it’s a best friend or my pastor or someone I will trust to be honest with me. Confess my sins and know that I am forgiven. Fight another day. Let the guilt, shame, pride, fear go. Give it all up.
I don’t want to run with sin. I want to run with God and there is only one way I know how to do that. Give it all to Him. Work on it every single day. Before I know it, I will wake up one day and truly be free. I will be able to live my life without all the junk and pain I added to it.
How about you? Are you tired of running with sin? Want to be able to live free?
First, I would like to give a shout out to our National Champions.
Chris Landry won the men’s race in 1:02:52. Yeah, you read that right. 4:48 per mile pace. Holy crap. He outran second place, Scott Fauble, by 14 seconds.
Tara Welling won the women’s race in 1:10:25 . That’s a 5:23 per mile pace. She outran second place, Desiree Linden, by 41 seconds.
Another big shout out to the wife, Kim, who, only twelve days after running the Boston Marathon and two days after turning 47, finished in 1:39:10. This placed her second in her age group, 45-49. That’s also a top 6% finish for all runners.
Average Pace : 7:35
Overall Place :353 out of 6067 Gender Place :60 out of 3467 Females Age Group : 2 out of 304 Females in the F45-49
Once again I bit off more than I could chew. Last year, I knew I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t ran more than five miles before the race so I ran a 2:15. 35 minutes slower than my normal half marathons and 40 minutes off my PR. This year, I have had ups and downs in my training but was feeling decent for this race. One day would be good, three-five miles at 7:30ish pace. The next day would be crap, like not being able to run 5 miles without stopping. I ran 10.70 miles in Boston and it was the best I felt in a long time. My pace was 8:26, about a minute off my normal pace pre-injury. Then three days later I couldn’t run two miles without stopping. What the heck!!
I didn’t have much expectation. Yes, I would like to have been 1:45 and under but realistically, I knew that wouldn’t happen. Let’s go for under two hours and if that fails, let’s just beat last year since I know I am better than last year at least.
The good – I told myself I would go at least five miles before walking through a water station, I went eight. My first three miles were 7:49, 7:37, 7:56. I felt good. Through 8 miles I was on pace to finish at 1:47. That’s the end of the good.
I stopped at the water station at mile 8 coming off High Street and that’s when the crap hit the fan. The instant I stopped, my legs felt tired. My thighs felt beat up and my left hip was aching. I was light-headed and got dizzy for a second. That’s never happened before. I started to run again and only ran about half a mile before I had to stop again. I was thinking good thoughts. Less than five miles to go, you can do this, etc..
I ran and walked the next two miles and was thinking okay , only a 5k left to go. Piece of cake. It was then I couldn’t breathe right. This happened once a few weeks ago when I was running with Kim. I don’t know how to explain it other than I could tell air was leaving my lungs, but it didn’t feel like air was going into my lungs, and my body. It didn’t feel like my heart was working I guess you could say. Now I have to wonder if something is up with my heart. Maybe I am just falling apart at the ripe old age of 45.
I don’t remember much of the last three miles except I knew I was being careful and almost thought about stopping. But then I wouldn’t get the medal at the end.
Silly thought I know since I couldn’t breathe. I just kept telling myself run until you can’t then walk until you can. I was mad at myself but still had 2 hours in sight. Then pretty much a quarter mile of the last one third a mile is uphill and I just couldn’t get it going. I finished in 2:01:38, a 9:18 per mile pace. Exactly two minutes per mile off my pace of 7:18 three years ago. I beat 63% of the people running but to me it was a failure and a let down. Yes, I know for most runners I did pretty good and I should be happy but for me and what I used to run it is aggravating.
Ave Pace: 7:18per mile Overall Place : 233 out of 8120 Gender Place :203 out of 3394 Males Age Group : 27 out of 466 Males in the M40-44
or this :
Flying Feather 4 miler in 2011
Those were the good old days.
I even told my wife after the race that I am done racing. I was backing out of the Nationwide Children’s full marathon in October and everything. I am sore and in pain, like I was after my very first half marathon. I don’t know what to do. I feel really good if I stay between three and six miles. I can run in the 7’s per mile and not be tired. Maybe I should just stay in that range for awhile. Maybe I should get the surgery done. Maybe…..
When I am healthy, I like running long however I have to get it in my head I am not healthy. I still have a torn meniscus. I have to remember it took me years to get to where I could do a half marathon in 1:35. What makes me think I can do it after taking two years off? Yes, I ran last year but I didn’t do 200 miles for the entire year. I have just started in January running at least twenty miles per week so I have really only been getting back to it for four months. My mind won’t listen. It keeps thinking my body is like it was three years ago. No wonder professional athletes have such a hard time retiring.
Well, let’s see what the future holds. Will I retire from racing and just run for fun or will I return better than ever? Only time, and my body, will tell.
Thanks for reading. Have a blessed day.
I started to write this Saturday night when I was in a lot of pain. Two days later, I am much better. Only a little sore. I have found a new perspective. The best year of my running was also my worst year personally. Three years ago my marriage almost ended, my dad passed away and I tore my meniscus at the end. Maybe I just need to start over. Start from scratch and build my way up.
Which also brings me to God. How even in our worst moments, He can bring a ray of hope. How He doesn’t ask us to start over, He says come to me now, no matter what you have done, or where you have been, or how many times you have sinned, come to me as you are.
What a wonderful feeling to know that we have a God like that.
Let me just say I-80 across Pa is one long, boring drive. It seemed like I was the only car on the road for most of it. I didn’t come up with any new poems or thoughts to write about because I was so bored. I figured my mind would be going everywhere but it went to sleep while I drove.
Saturday was just check in day and Expo day. We went to the Expo to get Kim’s running bib. Of course if you go to an expo, you have to spend money. We bought a few Boston shirts. Spent less than two hours there and had to pay $40 for parking garage. Seriously, $40 for two hours. Let’s take advantage of the runners and their families. I don’t know, maybe parking is always that expensive in Boston.
We went to a place called Fire & Ice in Harvard Square to eat dinner. Interesting experience and the food was yummy. We actually ate there Saturday and Sunday night. Basically, the food is set out raw and you go pick what you want to eat, take it to the middle where the cooks are and they cook it up for you. Look here, after I was up for forty hours, with only a 30 minute nap, look who bonked out at nine, not me. I was out shortly after.
I know Boston is east and I know the sun rises in the east, I just didn’t expect it to be coming in our hotel window at five am. I was going to get up at six anyway to go for a run but wasn’t expecting to be woke up at five by sunlight. I went out on my run to conquer Heartbreak Hill, which I mapped to be five miles from our hotel. Being in the zone like I was, I went down Beacon Street to Chestnut Hill Ave Reservoir to Commonwealth, but I went right like an idiot instead of left. Just running along and not paying attention, saw a sign for Commonwealth and took it. See the pic below where I made a right,between miles 3 and 4, I should have went left around the reservoir. Interestingly enough, there was a big hill exactly at the five mile mark and it was exactly half a mile long, just like Heartbreak Hill. So I didn’t actually go to Heartbreak Hill but I did run a pretty nice hill that was the same length as Heartbreak. This was the best I felt on a run in a long time. Only stopped to take a few pics below.
I did go home and ran the Newton Hills and Heartbreak Hill on my treadmill. Wasn’t that bad, but I didn’t run the 20 miles before it either. 🙂
The rest of Sunday was just Kylie and me day. Kim stayed at the hotel to rest for the race. Kylie and I went to the Museum of Science, she loves stuff like that. We had a good time. Spent three hours there then took the subway to Boston Commons. We then decided to walk the 2.5 mile Freedom Trail. Lots of history and places to see. We didn’t actually make it the entire way. Once we crossed the bay we decided to go left back to the Museum of Science and call Kim to come pick us up. Our legs were hurting. Mine probably more than hers but she was tired also.
It was a great experience for our family. I don’t know if I could live in downtown Boston area but Cambridge, Harvard area, oh yeah. Loved where we stayed. I could run by the Charles River and over to the path by the river by The Museum Of Science or can run to Heartbreak Hill, the right direction.
Kim did qualify for next year so maybe we will see Boston again. I won’t drive next time, be cheaper to fly and avoid all the parking garage fees.
No music today, will just leave you with some pics.
Well here I am home from NYC. Be prepared for a long read. As you know I was thrilled to find out that last year running the Columbus Marathon that I qualified for NYC marathon and Boston. I do what I love to do and it is to run. I ran my long runs and ran the NYC marathon on our treadmill (we have one of the ifit google map ones where we can run anywhere in the world) over and over again. I was also battling my back issues with L3-4 injury along with bulging disc. Went on with training and starting to have hamstring issues and glute issues as well. I just kept training and icing. There were times while training my runs would consist of my left leg buckling under me on the road or on treadmill. The only way I can explain it is I felt at times that I was going to fall. I continued to fuel ( w/ Arbonne) and eat clean, like I always do. I wanted to do my best when NYC was here. I was aiming for 3:30 finish time. I did Columbus in 3:42 so why not do better. I can say that NYC is a tough course! It was truly an experience from getting up at 4 am to walking to the subway to get to Staten Island Ferry and catch the ferry at 6am to then get on a bus to take us to the start. Once off the bus you then walk to your village to stay there and wait for your wave. I was in the orange village. Once in your village you are just outside waiting for your start time ( mine was 9:50). Imagine being outside that long just to start a race! Just sitting on the ground keeping warm and stretching and talking to whomever or sleep. Your wave gets called and it is time. Time to pound the ground for 26.2 miles through the city of New York and crossing 5 bridges. What a true way to see the city. The start came and I was able to get some pictures when I took off. It was packed! As my race began I was feeling good. Did not feel as nervous as I thought I was going to be once it started. My first half ( 13 miles) I felt good. I thought I had a good pace going and was able to look around and take in the crowds and see some of the buildings. Then mile 14 I felt pain in my back and it would go down my left leg. That feeling of buckling under came and went throughout the rest of the race. I told myself I was not going to stop.
I knew at times I would have to walk but I was not going to stop. Then I saw him and Kylie and pointed to my leg. I knew I was done, I knew I was not going to finish in the time I wanted and it started to get to me. I was getting disappointed and in pain. I powered through and recall texting Rob “pain” around mile 19. Needless to say I finished in 4:17 ( by far my worse run). I crossed the finished line w/ mixed emotions of joy, accomplishment, sadness and disappointment. What will others think of me after I told them what I was aiming for? What will Rob think of me let alone my children Kylie, Kelsey, Kayhla and Kirstie?
I looked up into the heavens and knew that God was proud of me! That I do know!! Once crossing the line all I wanted was to get to my family. The long walk to get them was nuts. You get the malar wrap to keep you warm and then a bag of recovery fuel and food then the warm poncho. Still no family. To walk that walk and to see all the other runners with smiles or pain was overwhelming. So many runners getting help from the medics for whatever reason was nuts. I had some that came to me and asked if I was okay. I finally got to my family and it was the best feeling ever. Rob and Kylie were so sweet and loving to me as we walked back to the hotel. I still felt disappointment, and pain, as we walked.
Not much was said on the plane ride back to Ohio or the ride home. I just wanted to shower and go to bed. Monday came and I was sore and still heartbroken. I believe I slept most of the day until it was time for my training sessions in the evening. Yep, right back to work I went (I just didn’t do the workouts). I felt like a failure when my clients came but they did not see me that way, they saw me as an inspiration, they saw me as an encourager, a fighter. Why could I not see myself that way? Tuesday was not any better, ever little thing set me off and I cried. Was this going to stop? Was I going to be able to put this race behind me and let it go and move on? I knew deep down I was going to get to that point of letting it go. Maybe God was waiting for me to learn from this experience before I could move on.
As I look back on this today ( while stretched out on the couch with pain shooting down my glutes and legs) I am wondering what does God want me to take from this? I am a winner, regardless of my time, I accomplished something only others wish they could do. He is teaching me that running does not define me ( regardless of time). He is also reminding me that I have to take care of the temple ( body) he gave me, it is the only one I have. I need to take time and recover, slow down etc. something I am NOT good at by any means. I always want to run. I need to remember I have a family that counts on me and wants me around for years to come. My take away from this. I know I am playing the should of, would of, could of thoughts in my mind and beating myself up. I can not let this get the best of me. As my new friend (Theresa) told me don’t let it get to me, grieve over it but don’t let it eat me. Grieving I am ( maybe only a runner understands) but I know it won’t define me. I know yesterday I did not wear my medal because I was down and for that I am sorry. Like I have been hearing I am a winner, I accomplished something huge, I FINISHED!
I know I beat myself up. I know I push myself way too much. It is time to scale back and take it slow. I am going to take some time off from running and will replace it with strength training, core work, and yoga ( I have to do something). I have Boston coming up in April and I want to be healed. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement along the way. I am a winner and I know that (even though it does stink at times when I still think about it) and I know I am loved and made people proud. It truly is a tough course, I will give NYC that. I am so glad I qualified. I won’t say I will not do it again because knowing me I will be back to conquer the course. #TCSNYCmarathon .
My God let me take on the experience of a life time. This marathon, regardless of how big I thought it was, does not define me. I am a runner, regardless if I finished at 4:17, I am a marathon runner. However, even running does not define who I am. So be it I was able to qualify for awesome marathons, so be it I am able to run each and every day. That does not make who I am. What makes me is that I am a child of God and He loves me regardless of my time on a race clock or a Garmin watch. I am a mother to four beautiful girls and three grand children. I am a wife to a wonderful, devoted Christian man and they love me regardless of the time on the clock. My family needs me and I need them. They need me to be injury free so I can be there for them any hour, any minute of the day. God needs me to be His obedient servant and use my talents that He has blessed me with. The people I help overcome the fear of running a 5k (3.1 miles) for their first time in Run For God classes. My clients that I push on a daily basis for them to overcome them saying “I can’t lift this, I can’t jump that.” The elementary girls that I served as their coach in Girls On the Run. That is what God remembers, He does not remember the time on the clock, the number of laps completed. He remembers us being His children. What defines us is how we overcome our setbacks, and this was a setback for sure. I did not get my time I wanted but I finished none the less. I accomplished something huge that November morning and it will forever be etched in my brain and on my heart.
This race defined how tough and determined I am and that I can do all things when God is on my side. He is the one who got me through to the end–to finish and I thanked Him for that when I crossed. I am taking this time and allowing God to come into my soul even deeper, I know there is a reason behind His works and it is not for me (or us) to question them but to have faith and know He is here and He has walked what we have experienced. I am not a failure!! I am a winner, I am a runner and more importantly I am a child of God who loves me regardless, as so does my family. To top this all off, God works in wonderful ways, He knows my spirits were down and He knows I was getting up and dusting myself off and what arrives in my mailbox Wednesday?…..2016 Boston Marathon Confirmation of Acceptance letter. Yep, time for me to let it go, rest, heal my back and hamstring, get a doctors perspective of my injuries and what to do because I have 5 months to show that I can and will overcome and I will be that 3:30 marathoner.
Running With God – Christian Motivation –
You Can Live Your Dream – Motivation –
The Sound Of Footsteps – Motivation –
Running Through Hell – Motivation –
Running In The Rain – Motivation –
I Will Fight – Christian Motivation –
The Strength of God Resides In You – Christian Motivation –
My wife, Kim, ran the TCS New York City Marathon on November 1st. She wanted to do 3:30 and was on pace for it for 14 miles then…
I call Kim the 7:30 per mile runner. She runs on a treadmill so much that she almost always is in that area. It doesn’t matter if she runs a 5k, 10k or 13.1 miles (half marathon). Her pace per mile is always within 2-3 seconds of 7:30. I pushed her, as well as a couple friend runners, to get out of that zone and she did. During training she actually ran a 5k race under 7:00 per mile and she did a couple long runs where she was in the low 7:10 range. Even on her longer run of 17-18 miles she was doing 7:40-7:45 miles. A couple training runs her left leg would give out on her for a second but we didn’t think much of it.
For the first time ever she actually scaled back before a race. She only ran 9 miles the week of the race, and usually she would do 20-25. She did everything right for this race. She was going to hit her goal of 3:30.
Then mile 14 her leg started to give out. By the time she reached where we were at mile 16 she looked at me and said pain and pointed to her left leg. Then at mile 19 she actually stopped and texted me PAIN!!!! Maybe she should’ve stopped but I know her and if you are a runner you know you won’t stop unless you are dead. She had to walk several times and actually had some miles that were 12-13:00 minutes. She did finish in 4:17, by far her worst marathon but it was still an experience.
My wife took it hard. If you know her you know she was mad, sad, disappointed, and heart-broken. She felt physically, mentally and spiritually broken…for a minute. Then she said she won’t let this define her or who she is. This is just one race.
Which brings me to today’s topic. We all have disappointments. Times when someone or something lets you down. Times when we think God has let us down. Times when our whole being is tested. Times when we think our whole world is falling apart.
How you respond is how you will live your life. You can get right back up or you can wallow in your defeat. You can get mad at everyone around you or you can welcome them into your home so they can encourage you and help pick you up. You can turn away from God or you can get closer to God.
How will you let your disappointments, setback and failures define you? Do you forgive those that disappoint you? Do you forgive yourself for your own disappointments, mistakes, setbacks?
Do you let it define who you are in God? God only sees you as His child. He loves you and wants you to succeed. Like any parent though, sometimes He lets you do it on your own so that your character will grow.