Thunder In My Heart

 

There is thunder in my heart

This is gonna leave a scar

There is lightning in my veins

Your lies drive me insane


 

My heart is turning to stone

I shake my head, I should’ve known

My blood is turning to ice

No more playing nice

You thought I would never leave

Your words I no longer believe

You thought you could use me and abuse

You ask me how can I accuse?

I’ve got proof I read your texts

You ask me to stay, there won’t be a next

I  read all  your email

You’ve already lost, you fail


 

Thunder rolled, a voice rumbled

A step back. I started to stumble

Electricity in the air

His words were there

“LET HER GO, GIVE HER TO ME”

The voice rumbled,  “JUST BELIEVE”

“I’m done,” said my heart of stone

I yelled back, “I’m better being alone”

“You are never alone,” the voice said

“I was  on the cross, For this I bled”

The thunder in my heart started to slow

The lightning in my veins  stopped its flow


 

God worked a miracle

The invisible became visible

He did something I couldn’t do

He can do the same for you

If there is thunder in your heart

You know where to start

If there is lightning in your veins

Through it all God’s love remains

 

 

 

Storm In My Heart by Colin Hay – 

My Darkest Hour by Thunder – 

Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks – 

Fall Apart by Every Avenue – 

I Don’t Care by Apocalyptica – 

Breaking Me Down by Escape The Fate – 

Breakin Free by Tesla – 

In It For Life by Sick Puppies – 

Prophet Song/ God Speaks by Martin Smith – 

Fall On Your Knees by David Crowder Band – 

Need You Now by Plumb – 

Head In The Fight by Sanctus Real – 

Don’t Cry Forever by Pillar – 

Broken Together by Casting Crowns – 

Thunder Road by NewSong – 

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The Sun Doesn’t Always Come Out Tomorrow

Image result for suicide

Feeling lost at school and feeling ignored at home

Surrounded by people but feeling all alone

I think I’m tired of fighting the fight

I’m ready to leave this life tonight

There’s nothing here as far as I can see

I wonder if anyone will even miss me

Meanwhile two blocks away

Stacy winds up another day

She remembers him and when they were so close

But lately he seems distant,  disappeared like a ghost

I’ll call him tomorrow to just say hi

She doesn’t know he’s ending his life tonight

Image result for suicide prevention quotes

Meanwhile two rooms away his parents talk

About how they might go take a walk

Should they go back to his room

They joke how it seems like a tomb

They remember how he laughed not long ago

Would they have tried harder if they had known?

Meanwhile two key strokes away

More of the kids in school type away

Making jokes and calling him names

Doesn’t he know he’s so lame

They wish he would go away and die

Tomorrow they will cry and wonder why

He thinks of how his life will end

Too many torn pieces to try to mend

Image result for air1 verse of the day psalm 42:11

His phone rings “hey how are you doing”

It’s Stacy asking how things are going

I was going to call you tomorrow but why wait

She didn’t  know that tomorrow would’ve been one day too late

A knock on his door and mom says let’s leave

We are all going to go get some ice cream

No ifs ands or buts, you’re going

If they only knew what he thought of doing

His screen beeps and Scott starts to fight

What you guys say is wrong, it isn’t right

How about saying something positive

And he starts to think he might want to live

He gets off his bed and starts to head out the door

That’s when his bible fell onto the floor

A verse about you will have pain, suffering and sorrow

Then the Air1 verse of the day says hope in tomorrow

Image result for air1 verse of the day psalm 42:11

Then his youth pastor sent a text to see if he was okay

He sent back looks like I’ll make it through another day

Is there someone that you know

That thinks the sun won’t come up tomorrow

Image result for suicide prevention

 

Image result for air1 verse of the day psalm 42:11

One Day Too Late by Skillet  – 

I Can’t Breathe by Bea Miller – 

The Call by Matt Kennon – 

Beautiful by MercyMe – 

Hard Love by NeedToBreathe- 

Hope by Ryan Calhoun – 

My Friends by Oh Wonder – 

Hope by Superchick-  

Hope For The Hopeless by Papa Roach – 

Remain by Royal Tailor – 

Not Today by Hillsong United – 

Be Still And Know by Hannah Kerr – 

How Do You Get That Lonely by Blaine Larsen – 

Storm Inside Of You by Veronica Ballestrini- 

I Want To Live by Skillet – 

Broken by Lifehouse – 

She Doesn’t 

Image result for superstitious

She doesn’t step on a crack

Afraid it’ll break her mother’s back

She doesn’t open an umbrella in the house

Doesn’t need more bad luck than she has now

She doesn’t make any funny faces

Afraid it’ll get stuck that way

She doesn’t walk in a black cat’s path

She’ll turn around, walk all the way back

She doesn’t walk under a ladder

She doesn’t think she can be any sadder

She doesn’t believe her wishes will come true

But she’ll throw a penny in a wishing well, sometimes two

 

She doesn’t care if others think she is deceived

She carries around a four leaf clover and some rabbits feet

She doesn’t cross her fingers or knock on wood

Seen so much bad she doesn’t believe in good

She doesn’t smile very much

Does her best not to judge

Image result for matthew 24 11

She doesn’t know about the man who died to save her

I saw her one day and told her about her maker

She didn’t want to hear any part

I prayer for her, prayed for her heart

A few weeks passed until I saw her again

She didn’t want to hear about Jesus, my friend

I asked her if we could just talk

She agreed and we started to walk

We talked about little things, like our jobs and the weather

She seemed to enjoy our walks together

She doesn’t trust most of those she meets

She slowly let her walls down over the weeks

I told her how I was once like her

Then someone told me about our savior

It wasn’t much longer until she said she wanted to hear more

More about this man I had mentioned before

I told of the words I knew

Gave her a Bible so she could read too

She doesn’t live like she did

She has a new way to live

She doesn’t believe in all that superstition

She has taken a new direction, a new mission

She doesn’t care about her past mistakes

She doesn’t remember her heartbreaks

She doesn’t live like she’s unloved

She knows she’s forgiven, she knows of grace from above

Image result for ephesians 2 8

Dmitri’s Song (Jesus Is Alive) by Todd Smith – 

Tell Somebody by Unspoken – 

Learning To Be Found by Jason Gray – 

I’ve Seen What He Can Do by Aaron and Amanda Crabb – 

What I Know by Tricia Brock – 

Echo by Blanca – 

 

Bruises And Scars

 

The bruises are gone but the scars remain

She will never look at you the same

You were supposed to be her protector

You were never meant to neglect her

What were you thinking ?

Do you blame it on your drinking?

That’s no excuse , that doesn’t make you a man

Tell me where do you stand?

You think those words won’t leave a mark

Man those go straight to her heart

They leave a scar only she and God can see

Why don’t you just let her go free

Let her learn to spread her wings

Let her learn how much beauty she brings

Would you want your daughter treated like that?

Always flinching, always watching her back

Man, why can’t you understand?

She was made from God’s own hand

If you keep treating her like that

I know where you will spend eternity at

Daughter, I know you want to scream and shout

On your knees, your prayers, He hears, that I never doubt

Don’t despair

Know someone cares

Daughter, I pray no matter what you go through tonight

You’ll remember the scars Jesus bears so you know there is a light

When the bruises are gone and the scars remain

Daughter I want you to know that He knows your name

He knows your name, He knows your name, He knows your name

October is officially domestic violence month but we don’t hear about it. All we hear in October is breast cancer, a worthy cause to fight also and one that needs to be fought daily as well. We don’t see any football teams wearing purple. It simply isn’t talked about.  Domestic violence is something we need to look at every day, because every day someone you know is the victim of it.  One in three women, one in four men are victims. One of of every fifteen  children are exposed to domestic violence and 90% of these children witness domestic violence a year. Domestic violence is the third leading cause of homelessness in the United States.  Domestic violence costs more than $37 billion a year in law enforcement involvement, legal work, medical and mental health treatment, and lost productivity at companies.

These are reported.  Most domestic violence incidents are NEVER reported.  Speak up, speak out, and make a difference for victims of domestic violence. The time is now to change these facts.

Silenced my Mersi Stone – 

Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – 

Alyssa Lies by Jason Michael Carroll –  

The Door by JJ Essen – 

Leaving You Behind by Emii – 

Lies and Bruises by Ryan Daniel – 

Luka by Suzanne Vega – 

No More by Kuzie James – 

Voices Carry by Til Tuesday – 

Broken Girl by Matthew West – 

Beautiful by MercyMe – 

God’s Daughter by Son of Adam – 

I Believe You Domestic Abuse and Faith Community –

He Knows My Name by The McRaes – 

He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli – 

 

 

My Running

Isaiah 40:31  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Before I start, it gives me great joy to tell you that our youngest daughter, Kylie, who is 9 is being raised in knowing God and knowing what a true Ohio State Buckeye fan is, even though she tells me she is going to go to OU, not OSU. One of my wife’s clients invited us to go to Gull Lake, a Christian family vacation retreat, which is in the state north of Ohio. When Kylie found out we were going she said ” Seriously, we have to go to that state up north. I can’t even say that word. UGGHH! ”  Yes, raise ’em the right way while they are young. Go Bucks.

Now on to the running. To me, running and my faith are both a lot alike. Both are 90% mental. Some days I feel like I can run forever. Other days I feel like I shouldn’t even be out there. Some days I hit a wall and stop. Other days I push through that wall and overcome that voice in my head. I have found out the hardest part is always the first step. If I put on my shoes, I am out the door hitting the pavement. If I open my bible, I will read it. If I procrastinate, it usually won’t happen.

One example of the mental part of running is me running with my wife. I could go and run 7:20 miles all day without her, but then run with her at 7:40 pace and not be able to keep up. I could never beat her in a race either until one race I did. Then that mental block was gone and I finished before her every race after that.

Another example is for my wife. She said she would never run a marathon. It took me years to convince her to run one. After she finally did, now she can’t stop. She has ran two and qualified for New York City and Boston, which we will be going to. Once you get over the mental part of anything, running, faith, or anything else, you never know where it may take you.

My wife is also leading her first Run For God class at our church. She doesn’t like talking in front of people but when you start to live your life for God, He will put you in places you never thought you would be. We have helped out in other Run For God classes at another church and have seen how it has helped hundreds of people that said they could never run a 5k. The amount of pride and joy you see in these runners/walkers when they cross the finish line is amazing. I encourage you to find a Run For God class in your area, strengthen your faith, strengthen yourself, connect with others. Running is a byproduct of the class and walking is allowed 🙂 but learning more about God, overcoming your own mental blocks, and connecting with strangers is what you will get from the class.

I have never been nor will I ever be the best in any race, age group or whatever. I know this but yet I try to better myself each race I run. About five or six years, not sure exactly, I was running on some trails and nothing out of the ordinary happened. When I got home my knee was swollen and I could barely walk on it. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. We have a friend who is an orthopedic surgeon and he took a look at it and said I would more than likely need surgery. Me, being stubborn like I am, said no way. I rested it and slowly started to run again. I ran with pain for over a year. For some reason I looked up Jan Heppner-McConathy, I don’t remember why for I had never wanted to get a massage before. Jan is so much more than a massage though. She told me I didn’t need surgery. Most runners that come to her that say they need surgery don’t. They just have an imbalance in how they stretch. They stretch 3 out 4 quads, 2 out of 3 hamstrings etc. It was a miracle. Within three days of stretching the correct way, I could run without pain.

When I run 1/2 marathons I have always finished in top 10% overall, usually in top 5%. My first half marathon was like a 1:45 and my fastest was a 1:35 ( I was in top 1% for that race). That race I was feeling it, everything was right (  I was also running 20 lbs lighter than normal and I was running mad at the world so those two things helped- more on that in a later blog) . That was two years ago. I ran my fastest that spring then my second fastest in August. This  was emotional because it was the day of my dad’s funeral- yes I ran on the morning of my dad’s funeral (we all grieve in our own way)- on four hours sleep. I wanted it to be my fastest for him but it wasn’t meant to be. To be honest, I felt like running half marathons were getting to feel like nothing. I wouldn’t be sore or tired after them. God saw me getting full of myself.

My wife and I decided to do our first full marathon, Nationwide Children’s Hospital, in October 2013.  We did our long runs together but for some reason when we did 15, 16, and 17 mile runs, I started cramping bad and my hip started hurting. I never ran more than 17 miles during training but my wife went up to 20. We started the race and everything felt good. We were running with the 3:45 pace group , which would qualify my wife for Boston.  Around mile 16 she had to stop to use the bathroom, which seemed like it took forever. We started to go again and within a mile I felt my knee go. I told her to go on and I would finish one way or the other. I’ve always considered myself to be mentally tough, sometimes to the point of being stupid but hey, I am what I am. I kept going, run ( or should I say hobble) until it hurt too bad to run, then walk, then repeat. It took me longer to do the last 9 miles than it did the first 17 but I did finish in 4:25.

I gave my knee some rest and tried to run again a couple weeks later and couldn’t go. From my past experience with my knee, I thought I could just stretch more and run it out little by little and it would get better. It didn’t. I had an MRI done and was told I tore my meniscus. Not only that, it was torn where it couldn’t be fixed, only taken out.  Doctors advice : NEVER RUN AGAIN. I could walk fine, go up and down stairs fine, workout fine, etc. the only thing I couldn’t do is run so doctor told me as long as I could do those things, we could hold off on the surgery.

I bought a bike. An expensive last year model half off bike that still cost too much. If I couldn’t run, at least I was going to figure out how to get some workout in. I liked it more than I thought I would but it wasn’t running. I was able to see parts of my town and surrounding areas I had never seen before. I enjoyed it but I didn’t enjoy having to ride 2-3 hours to get the same benefits of running 45 minutes to an hour.

Over time I would try to run here and there and some days I could do one to two miles and other days I couldn’t do 100 yards. One thing I did do almost every day was pray to God that he would heal my knee. Stupid prayer I know considering how many people are dying every day from cancer and other illnesses but God says in Matthew 21:22 “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” I was willing to trust God, even if the answer was no. Something would come from this, even if I could never run again.

January 18, 2015. Go get on the treadmill. Huh? Go get on the treadmill. The voice in my head was telling me go. So I went. I ran 3 miles for the first time in 15 months. When it started to hurt, the voice said keep going, push through it. So I did. A couple days later, go get on the treadmill. So I did. I ran 5 miles. A couple days later, go get on the treadmill. So I did. I couldn’t run a mile. Hey God, what’s up with that? Hey Rob, read Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Ok God, I get it. I give it all to you. If you heal my knee, I will run for you, run with a God shirt on, and I will live my life for you. I will not be perfect, but I will be better than I have been.

Over the next 3 months I was able to run. No pain, unless my stride was too long on a step or two. Because of circumstances at work, I had to work three weeks straight in April leading up to the race. There goes the training I had planned. In this life, there will be troubles and setbacks. Whenever you make a commitment to the Lord, be prepared to face the enemy’s unrelenting attempt to set you back. I could’ve said I am not ready, I can’t do this race. But I made that commitment to God, heal my knee and I will run in Your name.  I had one run longer than five miles in the three and a half months, and 18 months since my injury,  leading to the race. I was not ready. The temperature rose fifteen degrees in 2 hours. I ran 30 minutes slower  than my slowest race ever. I was grateful. I met a guy who ran with me a couple miles and we shared our faith in God together and I can tell you I have never done that, in a race or in life. I was grateful.

I am still running without pain and some thoughts come in my head to go get a MRI done again just to see if it’s healed. I won’t do that. I know what God has done for me. I have no doubts it is healed.  I would gladly never run another step if a cure for cancer could be found for I know my injury and healing of it means nothing to those that fight for life everyday and I would gladly give it all up for them.

Is it a coincidence that since January, when God and I talked and I actually started to do what I said I would do for Him, not what I wanted to do for me, that my life is different. That I am now sharing my faith, my words, my music. When I kicked the doubts out about paying to have my music done, boom my heart grew. When I kicked out the doubts about sharing my life and my words, boom my heart grew wings.

Have faith. Pray daily. In God’s time, your prayers will be answered. It took over a year for me to run again. It took five years for all the pieces to fit together for my music to be shared. Trust in the Lord.

Now my playlist. I hate to put 27 songs on here but that’s always my goal. Two songs per mile, 13.1 miles, 26 plus 1, just in case, songs so here goes.  Keep in mind I am a lyric guy, not a beats per minute guy. I’ve changed some over the years but I would say at least 15-16 of these have been my running partner for a long time.

Shine by Three Doors Down- this is my time, let’s go  

Never Be Here Again by Hoobastank – So true, never know when your running days are behind you, is this your last race? 

Our House by Burn Halo –  could be greatest college football song of all time 

Next Contestant by Nickelback – who am I passing next 

Rise Up by Green River Ordinance – time to rise up, there may not be a second chance 

Best Day of My Life by American Authors – I’m running with  15,000 of my closest friends, what could be better 

I Just Wanna Run by Downtown Fiction – title says it all 

Scars  by Papa Roach – one of my favorite bands and this song take me somewhere 

You’re Going Down by Sick Puppies – listen to the lyrics, yes I feel the heat coming off the blacktop and it makes me want it more 

Just Run by Digital Summer – you think you have what it takes, let’s find out 

Play It Again by Luke Bryan- love this song. gets me in a good mood 

A Lifetime by Better Than Ezra – honestly I could see me doing something like this  

I Lived by OneRepublic – Give it all you have and live life 

Face Everything and Rise  by Papa Roach – halfway done or so, time to put up or shut up 

Born Again by Newsboys – time for God to get me through some miles with the next few songs 

Good To Be Alive by Skillet – my fav Christian band. 

Promises by DA Truth – Gods promises will always get you through

Dear X, You Don’t Own Me by Disciple – put the pain out of my head 

Always Remember by Stereoside – reach down and dig deeper 

In My Head by Jason Derulo – 

Eye On It by Tobymac – time to start thinking of the finish 

Centuries by Fallout Boy – you will remember me 

The Champ by Nelly – I’ve been training for this 

My Body by Young the Giant – my body says quit but my I want more 

Born to Rise by Redlight King – we are the ones with the fire inside 

The Champion In Me by Three Doors Down – I was born to be this way 

Eye of the Tiger by Survivor – how else would I finish