Your Choice

When I first started this I was thinking it would be about old friends or old relationship,  like Adele’s Someone Like You song.   Then I heard RaeLynn’s Love Triangle and it went a different direction. Hope you like. Dads, be there for you kids, no matter what. They need you in their life.  The statistics of how children turn out without a father in their lives are not good. Be there. Be thankful for them. Love them.  Be thankful for forgiveness. One of the most important things you can do as a dad is to love their mom. Show them what a real man and a real father and a real stick it out, work it out relationship should look like.

 

When I left it wasn’t your choice

It must be strange to hear my voice

After all these years

After you cried a million tears

“I’m sorry I was wrong.”

“I should never have left you for so long.”

“I’m sorry I decided to leave.”

“I know that must be hard for you to believe.”

“I felt like there was no other way.”

“When I packed my bags and left that day.”

“Your mom has raised you well.”

“You’re beautiful inside and out I can tell.”

I could also tell I had scarred her

Her first question, “Why didn’t you try harder?”

“Wasn’t I worth trying?”

“Do you know how many nights I spent crying?”

“I promise daddy, I could’ve been better!”

“Don’t you think I was worth one call, one letter?”

“I know you and mom had your troubles

But why did you keep me outside your bubble?”

“Do you know many nights  I yelled into my pillow at you?”

“Do you know how many days I wondered what did I do?”

I just stared at her, how could I cut her out of my life?

There was nothing I could say, she was right

She had so many questions that hurt me so

But nothing like the pain I caused her I know

I cried my first tear

I let go of all my fears

All the times I could’ve

All the times I should’ve

I let them all go, left the past in the past

Here she was in front of me at last

I asked, “Will you ever forgive me?”

“I did dad, a long time ago can’t you see?”

“I prayed for you!”

“I waited for you!”

“I did have so much anger and hate

But God taught me that love was the only way.”

“As hard as it was I slowly learned to forgive

So that I could learn to live.”

“I opened up the walls surrounding my heart.”

“Here I am dad, willing to give us another start!”

I lost it all, I crumbled in her arms

I promised her I would never again harm

If God could help us reunite

Then I knew I had to give Him my life

Thank you for mended relationships

Thank you God for fixing this

Never again will something come in between

I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she means

Love Triangle by Raelynn-  

Perfect Story by Idina Menzel – 

Every Other Weekend by Kenny Chesney and Reba McEntire- 

Two Houses by Matthew West – 

Family by TobyMac – 

Hey Mom and Dad by Sloppy – 

Song For My Father by Sarah McLachlan – 

Forgiveness by Matthew West – 

Forgiveness by TobyMac feat LeCrae – 

Forgiveness Is A Miracle by Jason Gray – 

Advertisements

Let Me See Her

 

My neck hurts from looking behind

A memory flashed and I lost my mind

I wasn’t here but in another time

Let me see

Let me see

Let me see her

It’s like I take one step forward and two steps back

I pray to God to let me move but I sit here while the devil attacks

I’ve been here so many times I think I’ve lost track

Let me see

Let me see

Let me see her

I know God that she’s your daughter

Let me see her like You do

I know in your hands you got her

Let me see her like you do

I know what she did , that’s not her

Let me see her like you do

It’s crazy how life got in the way

We grew apart until that fateful day

That’s the day she decided not to pray

Let me see

Let me see

Let me see her

Oh God let me forget, I just wanna forget

Maybe the lesson to be learned hasn’t happened yet

Her sins are forgiven , You paid that debt

Let me see

Let me see

Let me see her

I know God that she’s your daughter

Let me see her like You do

I know in your hands you got her

Let me see her like you do

I know what she did , that’s not her

Let me see her like you do

Oh God I’m tired of being angry

Oh God I know this person isn’t me

Oh God help me to see, help me to see

Oh God Help me to forgive

Oh God I just want to live

Oh God to Your will let me submit

Let me see

Let me see

Let me see her

Let me see her God like you do

Let me see her God like you do

Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath – 

Daughter Of The King by Tricia Brock – 

In The Eyes by 1 Girl Nation – 

Father’s Eyes by Mark Schultz – 

His Eyes by Steven Curtis Chapman – 

Beloved by Jordan Feliz – 

Beloved Child by Tru-Serva – 

Beloved by Lara Landon – 

 

Close Your Eyes by Michael Buble –  

If I Could Say Something

Image result for quotes about speaking to spouse

 

Standing here, too afraid to speak

Oh God, when did I become so weak?

Standing here, unable to move

Lost and I haven’t a clue

I wish we both weren’t so angry

I wish I could just say I’m sorry

But I just stare in disbelief

Wide awake but still asleep

I used to hold you so tight

Now we sleep with a light

Where did it all go so wrong

Maybe I can find it in a country song

Instead I sit waiting for the light to change

This all just seems so strange

How the words used to flow

Now, they have nowhere to go

I open my mouth to silence

The words are being defiant

I shake my head and look at you again

I remember the spark from back then

If you could only read my mind

You would know I’m trying to try

I close my eyes and you’re still there

You always will be the answer to a prayer

Red light will always turn green

If I could only say what I mean

But the words remain unspoken

And your heart remains broken

Image result for quotes about speaking to spouse

Trains Go By by Josh Ritter-  

Use Your Words by Jessie James Decker –  

Rut by The Killers –  

But We Lost It by Pink –  

Silence by Grace Carter- 

Say Something by A Great Big World – 

Waiting For The Light To Change by Tonic-  

Too Late To Tell You Now by Burn Halo- 

 

 

When The Sun Sets In The Ocean

IMG_1252

At the end of the day when the sun sets in the ocean

Does she welcome him with arms wide open?

Does she tell him how much he was missed?

Does he cherish each and every kiss?

Does he talk about the damage he’s done?

How people pray for rain but there is none?

How the ice caps are less and less?

How the heat from him is causing a mess?

Or does he talk about all the good times

People laughing, basking in his sunshine

The picnics and the foods that grow

Does he talk of times from not long ago?

Related image

Does she talk about the storms and hurricanes?

Does she talk about how she wishes she could see the plains?

Does she complain about her waters rising?

Does she blame him for the people dying?

Or does she talk about how the people play

How they jump over or try to ride her waves

The joy in someone’s eyes as they see her for the first time

Does she wonder if their love is strong or are there warning signs?

Image result for bible verse wife

Or do they talk about what a wonderful team they are

How they are always together to look at the stars

How both of them together can cause great things to occur?

Does she tell him how much she loves him and he loves her?

When they are all alone in the dark

Do they share what’s deep in their hearts?

When he wakes to start another day

Is there a tear in the ocean’s waves?

When he is gone and up high in the sky

Does he think of her with a twinkle in his eye?

Does she say hurry home soon?

Does he say tonight we will watch the moon?

So much can happen, so many feelings and emotions

At the end of each day when the sun sets into the ocean

Image result for wifes love for husband

In Case You Didn’t Know by Brett Young – 

Walk Away by Goo Goo Dolls-  

If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell –  

The Story by Brandi Carlile-  

One Day At A Time by Brian Courtney Wilson- 

House On Fire by Rise Against – 

Ordinary People by John Legend- 

I  Won’t Give Up By Jason Mraz – 

 

I Planned On Coming Back

Image result for broken in my mind

The character in this poem leaves to find himself, but in reality, it could be about each and every one of us who have “checked out” of their marriage. Those who are there but are not there. Don’t think they will always be there waiting for you to come back.

It could be for you, my readers, since I have not posted in a month. Has it really been that long? I never meant for it to be that long but sometimes I get caught in a tornado and I wait to land in OZ.

I planned on coming back

I just needed a short break

But I got lost counting the sand

Thinking you would wait

 

I spend my days staring out at the water

Wasting memories in the ocean breeze

Order another rum and coke

The memory of you dances in front of me

Image result for trying to find myself quotes

Seeing the moon’s reflection

Looking up at a million stars

As one falls from the sky

I make a wish to heal these scars

 

I walk farther and farther away

I can’t understand why I can’t pick up the phone

Why I can’t get on that airplane

Why I can’t come back home

Image result for trying to find myself and leaving someone to do it quotes

I never meant these days to turn to months

I never meant to leave you like that

A lost heart trying to find its way

But I always planned on coming back

I knew my time had passed

As the months turned to years

I don’t know why I couldn’t turn around

The dolphins can taste my tears

Image result for broken in my mind

What was I missing?

What was I trying to find?

I realize it was right in front of me

But I can no longer call you mine

 

I can tell you didn’t expect to see me here

Face to face and I state it is a fact

I promise you this

I was always planning to come back

Image result for trying to find myself quotes

I can see it in your eyes, I see it in your smile

I found myself but now I know that it’s too late

I say I’m sorry and turn to leave

Why did I think you would wait?

Image result for trying to find myself quotes

Image result for trying to find myself quotes

The Gospel by Ryan Stevenson – 

The Haunting by Jackie Evancho –  

Just Like Everybody by Ben Moody- 

Remember Who I Was by James Arthur –  

What Kind Of Man Am I by John Mellencamp- 

Never Let You Go by Manafest – 

Mansion by NF – 

No Man’s An Island by Tenth Avenue North – 

Always On My Mind by Willie Nelson-  

Not Broken Anymore by Blue October – 

If I Told You by Darius Rucker – 

Can’t Keep You Here by Jennifer Paige – 

Sorry by Aquilo- 

 

The Pier

Image result for piers

I remember the first time I saw her. Standing all alone in the water. I stood in awe at how beautiful she was. A true work of art. It was love at first sight.

It was our first vacation together to the beach. Our first of many.

I remember the first time I walked out on her, I stood so far out into the ocean. The beach looked so far away. I was so far out all the people on the beach looked like ants.

I learned all about her. From the beginning when she was first being made until now. All the storms she had been through, everything that made her into the beauty she is today. I couldn’t help but wonder if other people looked at her the way I did.

How many sunrises and sunsets have we seen from that pier? How many long talks have we had walking the beaches and that pier while holding hands?

Every year, before we would go back, I would look at the old photos of us taken on that pier.  The first one taken when we’re just dating, the first one taken as a married couple, the first one with our daughter as a baby and all the ones through the years as she, and we, grew older.

Image result for piers covered in fog

Throughout the years, I always knew the pier would be there when we were. The times when we would walk early in the morning and the fog was so thick we could barely see our hands in front of our face. But somehow, I knew the next step would land on the next plank.  On the dark nights when we could not see the end of the pier because of the darkness, I still knew it was there.

Image result for old wooden piers at night

Then I looked at the last picture, the one from last year. The pier was showing her age but she was still so beautiful to me. Our daughter had grown so strong and beautiful, ready to go out on her own. There was something off about the picture though. There was a light missing from your eyes. Maybe the smile wasn’t as big as years past.

Maybe it was just my imagination. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head.

Do you believe in coincidences?  As I was staring at the picture there was a breaking news alert. The hurricane hit the pier and she was gone. I couldn’t believe it. All those years of storms and sunshine, cold winter nights and hot summer days, all the things the pier had been through and now she was gone.

Image result for pier destroyed in myrtle beach

A tear came to my eyes as I stared In disbelief. Was it real or was I dreaming?  Was she really gone? All these pictures, all the memories, all of it gone. No, they were still there but as I looked at the empty space in the ocean I knew things would never be the same.

I couldn’t help but look at the last picture again. The one where the light in your eyes was gone and your smile wasn’t as big. All the storms we have faced and survived.  All the good days and the bad days. I couldn’t help shake the feeling that a storm was coming.  A storm bigger than we have ever faced before.

We will survive it or we will fall like the pier?

Related image

 

Almost Broken by Sister Hazel-  

Church Clothes by Kelleigh Bannen – 

Performance by The XX – 

A Day To Be Alone by One Less Reason – 

Even If by MercyMe – 

That Could Still Be Us by Keith Urban- 

Where We Go From Here by Jason Gray – 

Where Do We Go From Here by Oleander – 

Something Beautiful by One Less Reason – 

Broken Together by Casting Crowns – 

I Loved Our Time Together (When You Were On A Sedative)

 

Trying to be funny but…my sense of humor can be warped at times.

 

I loved our time together when you were on a sedative

In the moment was all we had to live

No hurts, no regrets, the past was the past

It had been ages since we laughed like that

Even though the doctor was two and a half hours late

I can honestly say I didn’t mind the wait

No kids, no outside pulls, no tv

Just you and me ( and that constant beep)

We made jokes the entire time

Reminded me of when you were first mine

Before life got in the way

But we can start anew today

It was good to hear you laugh

If you did now it would tear you in half

You will heal and so will we

Marriage definitely is not easy

I can’t wait until my knee is done

So we can have some more fun

And love our time together when I am on a sedative

img_2313

When You’re With Me by The Afters – 

Let It Be Tonight by Rick Astley- 

Love You All The Way by Sean McNeill – 

In Love Again by Colbie Caillat – 

God Only Knows by Michael Buble –