Back To The Starting Line

The Cheesecake Factory, our first date. I remember it like it was yesterday, what you wore, most of what we talked about it, your laugh, your smile, your innocence.

You asked if you could order a Bud Light with your salad. I smiled and thought it was the cutest thing I’d ever heard. I ordered the Louisiana Chicken Pasta with a Mich Ultra. I was never a fan of Bud Light.

We’ve only been back once in the last nineteen years since then. We were going through our first rough patch and I thought it would help to remember.

It didn’t go well.

But we survived, we healed.

At least I felt as if we did.

Now, I am sitting across from you for the third time at this restaurant. If my memory serves me well, this may be the exact table we sat at. If it’s not, it’s pretty close.

I brought us back here, back to the starting line, to see if we can get a new start. Remember why, how, when we fell in love.

I’m not ready to cross the finish line yet.

But here we are.

You order an Angry Orchard , without asking. You started drinking cider years ago when you went gluten free. I still order the Louisiana Chicken Pasta. I know, so many choices but I like what I like. But I order an IPA.

I guess we all change in our own ways.

We both kind of half smile at each other. It feels like we both are afraid to speak first.

How did we get here?

Slowly the words come but the conversation doesn’t flow like it did all those years ago. Every word seems like a struggle. Both of us are afraid to say the wrong thing so we don’t say much at all.

I try to say something funny. But you don’t laugh. Man, how I miss the sound of your laugh. Right now, it would light up my world just to see you smile. But you don’t.

I reach across the table and touch your hand. You start to pull away but you leave it there. But there’s no feeling there. No spark. No emotion.

Damn this sucks.

We eat in silence but there are so many words in my head.

How did we get here? Can this be fixed? What did I do? What did I not do? Is it worth fixing? Why can’t we talk like we used to? Why’s it so hard to tear down these walls we built? Why can’t we get back to where we were all those years ago, in this same restaurant, when we fell in love? Love, what is it, does it even exist? What happened to that light in your eyes? When did you know it was over? When did I quit trying? How did we lose it all? Why can’t we find something to connect us again?

I can’t turn my mind off. And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I think too much instead of just being me, letting it flow.

Maybe it’s as simple as you don’t love me anymore.

Maybe that’s all there is too understand.

We finish our meals and both look at each other , another half smile.

And I know. In my heart I know.

Back here at the starting line, we’ve crossed the finish line.

Say Something by A Great Big World –

Over For You by Morgan Evans –

Leave Me Again by Kelsea Ballerini –

Hard Season by Matthew West-

Just Say I’m Sorry by Pink/Chris Stapleton-

Unconditional Love

You watch me grab my keys and put on my coat

And you know it’s off to work I go

You walk me to the door

Silently saying I love you more

When I come home and the garage door goes up

You’re always there to greet me with nothing but love

And no matter what we went through that day

I know you will always be here to stay

I don’t know if I can love you like you love me

Because I don’t know if I can love that unconditionally

You’re always there when I want to talk

You never say no when I want to take a walk

You’re the best listener, never judging me

You’re my shotgun rider in the passenger seat

You kiss my tears when I’m sad

You snuggle beside me when I’m mad

You’re laying here beside me in my bed

I talk but will you remember the words I said

I wonder if you’ll remember that it’s nothing you did

When you’re looking around the house like I hid

And when I’m nowhere to be found

You’ll never give up, always looking around

I wonder if she knows how much she’s changed your life too

When you stare out the window waiting for me to come home to you

Our Last Christmas Eve (In A Place We Called Our Home)

I know it’s only made of wood and stone

But it’s the first place we called our home

It’s where we went when you became my wife

Where our girls grew up and learned about life

Where we had safety after a hard day

And it’s where we came when we lost our way

Where memories were more than the past

Where I thought our love would always last

Now there’s a for sale sign in the yard

And I never thought it would be this hard

To say goodbye to some wood and stone

And I never thought I’d feel this alone

In a place we called our home

We smile through our last Christmas Eve

And I really wish I could believe

Santa could save our love and our home

I watch you sitting there reading your book

You catch me and smile with a knowing look

Sometimes I swear you can read my mind

Wanting to give it another try, but it’s time

I see all the presents under the tree

But the only gift I want is for you to love me

That’s a miracle only God can provide

Cause we’re already living separate lives

Now there’s a for sale sign in the yard

And I never thought it would be this hard

To say goodbye to some wood and stone

And I never thought I’d feel this alone

In a place we called our home

We smile through our last Christmas Eve

And I really wish I could believe

God could save our love and our home

I wonder if these floors will still creak in a few years

I wonder if these walls will remember our laughs and tears

These windows never quite kept out the cold

There are so many stories left untold

Now there’s a for sale sign in the yard

And I never thought it would be this hard

To say goodbye to some wood and stone

And I never thought I’d feel this alone

In a place we called our home

We smile through our last Christmas Eve

And I really wish I could believe

We could save our love and our home

Wrapping Presents For Myself by Chris Isaak –

New Year’s Day by Rob Thomas –

Christmas Through The Years by Matthew West –

That Silent Night by Jim Brickman feat Kenny Rogers –

Seasons Change And So Have We

When I see no leaves on the trees

I choose to remember when they were green

When I see skies that are dark and gray

I choose to remember the sunny days

When I see the ground lifeless and brown

I choose to remember when our love was found

When I’m cold and alone in this room

I choose to remember flowers will soon bloom

There’s an old song about when a heart breaks it don’t break even

And I’m sorry Journey but I have stopped believin’

I know acceptance is a powerful thing

And it hurts but I know the birds will soon sing

I accept you can’t love me like I want or need

And my love will never be good enough I’ve come to see

And I know it’s okay to not be okay

Not forever, but to feel the hurt today

I hope you know that not being with you was never in my plans

I’ll always be grateful for our time together because I’m a better, stronger man

You’ve made your choices and even though it’s taken me awhile

I accept there’s no more reason to fight but only time to smile

Because I’ll choose where my life will lead

And I thank you that once upon a time you loved me

And here soon when we will no longer be a we

I will choose to only remember the good memories

The Last Time by The Script-

Weren’t The One by Eddie and The Gateway –

What I get For Loving You by Seaforth –

Giving You Up by Kameron Marlowe –

Forever Or The End by Skillet –

God Is In This Story by Katy Nichole and Big Daddy Weave –

The Story’s Not Over by Jeremy Camp –

Peace by Danny Gokey –

Wish I Was Enough

Drawing of a sad girl step by step || How to draw a sad girl easy

Here is a song I wrote the words to and was lucky enough to have Mikalyn Hay and her producer Chris Grey do all the hard work for me and turn it into a song. Be sure to check out Mikalyn on Youtube and Spotify and other streaming services for other music by her, she is very talented.

I was told I should use a stage name for this one so I chose Win Thomas, combination of two of my favorite characters in books I like to read, as my artist name.

But it is still me.

I am still in the process of trying to get it “out there” and send it to radio stations and all that.

For those of you with Spotify, here is a link for it as well. It is available on all streaming services across the world as well. Just search up artist name Win Thomas.

https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/7yXvM0a6D272jCwTQct5tG

If you like it, please feel free to share it.

Let me know what you think. I appreciate you taking the time to listen.

I Wish She Would’ve Kept Reading

Image result for book on night stand

There was her book on the night stand

The only thing she left of her and me

With nothing but a sigh and a broken heart

I opened to where she stopped, page two seventy three

Who could leave with a story unfinished?

It was just two days ago she said it must be fate

She was so excited about the characters

It was her life, she said she could relate

I opened it up and started to read

It was right there where she stopped, in black and white

Gina left Tommy for some mystery guy

She knew in her heart that she was right

But, God, oh, God how I wish she would’ve kept reading

It was just a few pages over, just a few pages more

That Gina ran into her  mystery guys arms

She said she left Tommy for good, she swore and swore

But then the guy asked, what have you done?

I’m married, I can’t leave my wife

Then Gina looked at him in disbelief

It was right then and there she thought she would die

God, oh God, how I wish she would’ve kept reading

Just a few more sentences, just a few more chapters

If she would’ve stayed just a little longer

All this sadness could’ve been laughter

I read more and more, page after page

I turned the pages until I got to chapter twenty five

When Gina knocked on Tommy’s door

When she begged Tommy to give her another try

I thought for a few words that their relationship

Had a chance, that it might actually survive

But  my eyes welled up when I read the last words

When Tommy closed the door and said goodbye

I wasn’t surprised when I heard a car pull in the driveway

I opened the door and she asked, will you ever forgive me?

The only thing I could do was give her the book

And say I wish you would’ve read past page two seventy three

God, oh God, how I wish you would’ve kept reading

I shut the door and walked away

God, oh God, I wish she would’ve kept reading

Image result for love leaving quotes

Better Homes And Gardens by Taking Back Sunday-

Beautiful Lies by Jana Kramer-

You And Me by Memphis May Fire-

Forever by Drew Jacobs-

Bitter by Citizen Soldier-

Back To Square One by Marty Mullins-

Who I Am To Stand In Your Way by Chester See-

Ashes Pt 2 by The Struts-

 

Your Choice

When I first started this I was thinking it would be about old friends or old relationship,  like Adele’s Someone Like You song.   Then I heard RaeLynn’s Love Triangle and it went a different direction. Hope you like. Dads, be there for you kids, no matter what. They need you in their life.  The statistics of how children turn out without a father in their lives are not good. Be there. Be thankful for them. Love them.  Be thankful for forgiveness. One of the most important things you can do as a dad is to love their mom. Show them what a real man and a real father and a real stick it out, work it out relationship should look like.

 

When I left it wasn’t your choice

It must be strange to hear my voice

After all these years

After you cried a million tears

“I’m sorry I was wrong.”

“I should never have left you for so long.”

“I’m sorry I decided to leave.”

“I know that must be hard for you to believe.”

“I felt like there was no other way.”

“When I packed my bags and left that day.”

“Your mom has raised you well.”

“You’re beautiful inside and out I can tell.”

I could also tell I had scarred her

Her first question, “Why didn’t you try harder?”

“Wasn’t I worth trying?”

“Do you know how many nights I spent crying?”

“I promise daddy, I could’ve been better!”

“Don’t you think I was worth one call, one letter?”

“I know you and mom had your troubles

But why did you keep me outside your bubble?”

“Do you know many nights  I yelled into my pillow at you?”

“Do you know how many days I wondered what did I do?”

I just stared at her, how could I cut her out of my life?

There was nothing I could say, she was right

She had so many questions that hurt me so

But nothing like the pain I caused her I know

I cried my first tear

I let go of all my fears

All the times I could’ve

All the times I should’ve

I let them all go, left the past in the past

Here she was in front of me at last

I asked, “Will you ever forgive me?”

“I did dad, a long time ago can’t you see?”

“I prayed for you!”

“I waited for you!”

“I did have so much anger and hate

But God taught me that love was the only way.”

“As hard as it was I slowly learned to forgive

So that I could learn to live.”

“I opened up the walls surrounding my heart.”

“Here I am dad, willing to give us another start!”

I lost it all, I crumbled in her arms

I promised her I would never again harm

If God could help us reunite

Then I knew I had to give Him my life

Thank you for mended relationships

Thank you God for fixing this

Never again will something come in between

I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she means

Love Triangle by Raelynn-  

Perfect Story by Idina Menzel – 

Every Other Weekend by Kenny Chesney and Reba McEntire- 

Two Houses by Matthew West – 

Family by TobyMac – 

Hey Mom and Dad by Sloppy – 

Song For My Father by Sarah McLachlan – 

Forgiveness by Matthew West – 

Forgiveness by TobyMac feat LeCrae – 

Forgiveness Is A Miracle by Jason Gray – 

No One Cried

Image result for divorce

My new smash #1 hit song. Crossed over to country, rock , pop and Christian charts. #1 in 37 countries, over 3 million downloads.  That my friends is called visualization. Now let’s see what you think and make it happen.

Just add music and the right voice, maybe like Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October or Chris Brown from One Less Reason or Meat Loaf, but the last two have new cd’s out so maybe the next one and Blue October had new cd at beginning of year so…

No One Cried

No one tried

No one died

No one cried

We just walked away

Like tomorrow is just another day

No words left to say

We just walked away

No one died

No one tried

No one cried

 

Tore our world apart

Can’t stitch a broken heart

Cupid missed the mark

Too much hurt, too much pain

Does it matter who’s to blame

What did we gain ?

(No one cried)

 

Pulled out my hair

Thought I still cared

Looked for us everywhere

Thought I wanted more

Picked myself up off the floor

Walked out the door

(No One Cried)

 

We said forever

Made a vow together

Guess we forgot to remember

Doesn’t it make you sad

Doesn’t it make you kinda mad

How did it get this bad

(No One Cried)

 

No one tried

No one died

No one cried

We just walked away

Like tomorrow is just another day

No words left to say

We just walked away

No one died

No one tried

No one cried

 

No more slow dances

No more second chances

Maybe under different circumstances

The candle flame burned out

Nothing left to work out

Nothing left to talk about

(No One Cried)

 

Two became one became two

Apart we grew

Same picture different view

No one tried

To keep the love alive

No place left to hide

Tears from the past

When love was meant to last

The end slowly came fast

 

No one tried

No one died

No one cried

We just walked away

Like tomorrow is just another day

No words left to say

We just walked away

No one died

No one tried

No one cried

 

(Guitar solo  then next part is acoustic slow)

 

Maybe someday we will find

Why we couldn’t  hit rewind

Back to when you were mine

When you cross that memory

The one of you and me

And you smile for what used to be

When the memories fade

We remember what we once made

We will let a tear escape

 

As the love we had disappears

Throughout the years

We shared some tears

There’s no more left to cry

We said our final goodbye

Wish we would’ve tried

(No one cried)

 

No one tried

No one died

No one cried

We just walked away

Like tomorrow is just another day

No words left to say

We just walked away

No one died

No one tried

No one cried

 

I wish we would’ve tried

A part of me died

A part of me cried

I wish we, I wish we would’ve tried

A part of me died

I cried….

 

 

Image result for no one cried

Death Without A  Funeral by Jason Gray –  

What Happened To Perfect by Lukas Graham – 

Tender Is The Night by Whitford St. Holmes – 

Too Late by Angels Fall – 

Wreck You by Lori McKenna – 

It’s Over by Rod Stewart – 

Let Me Go by Avril Lavigne – 

Used To Love You by Gwen Stefani – 

Was A Time by Anthony D’ Amato – 

Where Do We Go From Here by Oleander – 

The Getting Over It Part by Blue October – 

Sometimes by One Less Reason – 

Is Nothing Sacred by Meat Loaf –