True Story- A Testimony

It’s been a rough 18 months. There was a two-three month period in that 18 months that I lost myself. For the first time in my life someone made me feel as if I wasn’t enough, that I was worthless. I walked away from most of what I believed in and gave up on the rest.

I will be the first to admit that I let anger and everything that goes with betrayal get the best of me. Even counseling did not seem to help.

Even though I felt like I knew the truth, I was still being lied to , which was causing more anxiety and hate and frustration and arguments. and taking me farther away from the man I am. I do not understand why people can not tell the truth. I would rather have a truth that hurts than a lie to make me feel better or question my own intuition. At least once the truth is out there, you can start to heal.

Then one night a couple months ago I had a dream. I can still remember every detail to this day. And when I’m having a bad thought or feel anger taking control again, the images in this dream come to my mind and I give it all away again.

I will admit after the dream, I had three really good weeks then three really bad days but ever since then, I am a different man.

Only one person gets the credit and that is Jesus.

Here is the dream I had.

I was driving along a road that was going up a hill or mountain. The road did not look familiar to me. I remember I was the only one on the road and to the left of me was a deep valley.

As I was driving in the middle of the day, the sky suddenly became like a sunset. Oranges and reds and pinks. Picture the most beautiful sunset you have ever seen and multiply that by a hundred.

Then the sky parted and a man came down out of the sky. I can only assume it was Jesus.

I stopped my car and got out. I started walking toward him.

He approached me and put his hands on my shoulders. He told me it was time to let it go. Give all the anger and disappointment and anxiety and everything that came with the betrayal to him.

Tears started coming to my eyes.

But I wasn’t letting go.

Then he repeated what he said.

Give it to me. It’s time to let it go.

Then he took his hands off my shoulders and ascended back toward the clouds.

Before he got there he turned around and reached out his hands and told me he had it all now. To keep giving it to him. It’s not my burden to bear any longer. To live the way he intended me to live. To love and not hate.

Then, probably because he knows me so well, he once again said I have it all. Let it go.

The he disappeared into the clouds and the sky turned the brightest blue I have even seen.

Then I woke up and had tears streaming down my face.

And all I can say is in the seven weeks since my three day relapse, I have been a different man.

My anxiety and hurt and anger has for the most part have gone away. And when it surfaces, it is immediately replaced with visions from my dream.

Does that mean my marriage is saved? No, not at all. But what it means is I don’t have to live with the hurt and betrayal and anger.

I can still love. I can still know that I am enough. I can still know that life is worth living. I can still know that I am okay. I can still know that I am loved.

We all have been given the ability to bless and not curse, to love and not hate, to give and not take. We only have to remember we have a helper to show us the way.

So do I believe God is real? There is no way I could ever doubt it.

Then Came Christ by MercyMe-

Remember by Lauren Daigle-

Believer by Rhett Walker-

Ain’t Nobody by Cody Carnes-

What If It’s Everything

Worry Doesn't Change Anything, but Trusting God Changes Everything ...

I wrote this song a few years back.  I tried everyone I know to help me record a demo for it so maybe I could send it out. I was willing to pay but could not find anyone willing to help. Finally, I found a local musician, who was in a band I liked called Acoustic Ghost, who said he would help with some demos for my songs. Joel is an old time rock and roll guy and said he would do his best to make my songs come out the way I was hearing them in my head, but they did not.  He did a good job, just not the way I wanted them to sound.

This song, I hear it like a spoken/rap song, like Jason Aldean’s Dirt Road Anthem  type of sound.  I can picture TobyMac, Matthew West, or maybe Lecrae recording it, but that is wishful thinking. I just think the music they make would go well with this song.  Joel made it into a classic rock/blues sound, which I really do like and maybe it would bring a different audience to it that I was not expecting.  However, I would still like it done the way I hear it but I am grateful for Joel’s efforts.

I have included it at the bottom.  If you have some time today, take a listen and leave me a comment on what you think.  If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone that knows TobyMac or Matthew West or anyone else, feel free to forward for me.

It is six minutes long but I think it could easily be reduced to four, four and half minutes.

Deep, contented joy comes from... - SermonQuotes

Here are the lyrics:

I was walking down the street, smile on my face
Full of Gods love and forgiveness
In my head I was thinking how great is His grace
but it seemed everyone that looked at me looked away
They didn’t care or they didn’t know
Then I heard someone yell, what do you have to say
So I looked at him and told him our story
That You lived and died for me
I told him of Your love and Your glory
Then he looked at me and said I’m not bluffing
But what you say, what if it’s nothing
Then I smiled at him and started to sing
What if my friend,
What if it’s everything
What if it’s everything
So I walked on with a pep in my step
Living my life for Jesus
I wasn’t turning back, I won’t have regrets
Then I saw someone down on their luck
I went up and talked to her
I said hello and gave her my last buck
She thanked me with tears in her eyes
then she said, so what’s your story
I told her our story and how You had to die
She asked how do I know that it’s really something
You know my life’s been a rough one
Then I smiled at her and started to sing
What if my friend,
What if it’s everything
What if it’s everything
By then a crowd gathered around
They all wanted to know
How they could have this hope I had found
So I told them our story, told them to believe
Told them of the book, told them of your words
Told them I only know of one guarantee
In this life you will have troubles
But your sins you must confess
Give your life to him, don’t be on the bubble
Then they said we want to believe in something
But what if, what if its all nothing
Then I smiled at them and started to sing
What if my friends,
What if it’s everything
What if it’s everything
What if it’s the only thing
When your confidence comes from God, no matter how unstable things ...
What If It’s Everything by me and Joel Rollo-

The Man That Needed Grace by Matthew West –

See The Light by Tobymac –

Set Me Free by Lecrae –

Together by for King & Country (with Kirk Franklin and Tori Kelly) –

 

She Smiled

 

She was born into a home that didn’t want her. She was neglected and mistreated. She was told she wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t wanted. One day they proved that to be true and they  gave her away. Through it all she smiled.

She was adopted a short time later by parents that wanted her. Parents that loved her. She had nightmares. She was comforted by her new parents. She was told how much she was loved. She was taught about God. She was told how much she was wanted. Through it all she  smiled.

As she continued to grow and get older people would ask what is wrong with her. How can she always be smiling?  She must be hiding something. She would tell them all is good, nothing to hide. She just loves life and is so happy to be here. They would tease her but through it all she smiled.

She met a guy. She fell head over heels. Everything in her life was perfect. Until it wasn’t. He started to yell at her all the time. He started to abuse her. She tried to leave but he would convince her to stay. She would believe him when he said he would change. Slowly her smile started to fade.

She became pregnant. He didn’t change. She knew she had to leave him, not only for her but for the baby. She could remember how her biological parents treated her. She didn’t want her baby growing up the same. She moved back to her adopted parents, her real parents. Slowly her smile came back.

She read her bible and raised her little girl on her own. She knew who she was and why she was here. She taught her little girl about God. She was told she was loved and wanted. She told her about her dad and about her Father in Heaven. It wasn’t always easy but through  it all, they smiled.

On her last day here she thanked God for everything in her life. The good and the bad. She thanked Him for giving her a thankful heart. For giving her a smile through everything attitude. For giving her life lessons to teach her daughter. For giving her parents that didn’t want her, and for giving her parents that did. For giving her  a home to grow up in that taught her about Him.  She thanked Him for helping her forgive, her parents and her ex- husband. She took her last few breaths and as she left this world she smiled. 

Think of these songs as a soundtrack to the reading.

Alyssa Lies by Jason Michael Carroll – 

When Love Takes You In by Steven Curtis Chapman – 

Orphan by John Waller – 

Everything To Me by Mark Schultz – 

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile by Sia – 

Smile by Nat King Cole- 

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat – 

Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – 

That Don’t Sound Like You by Lee Brice – 

I Smile by Kirk Franklin –  

Like My Mother Does by Lauren Alaina –  

There Will Be A Day by Jeremy Camp- 

I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe – 

Thanks God, But No Thanks

What if Noah said thanks God, but no thanks. I am not interested in building this ark you want me to build.  It’ll take me 20-80 years (yes it is a wide range but from everything I have read- and there are many opinions-most say this is how long it took), not to mention all the food I have to bring on board. I have better things to do with my time. Can you imagine the cabin fever I will get God? The smell from all the animals? The ridicule, mocking, laughter I will receive by everyone that sees me making this ark to your exact specifications? It isn’t even raining, God. It hasn’t rained in a long time.

But Noah said yes, God, whatever you command.

What if David said thanks God, but no thanks. I am not interested in fighting Goliath. I mean seriously, have you seen how big he is? A bear, a lion, no problem. I am just a shepherd, not a warrior. All I have is a sling and some rocks. This guy will smash me.

But David said yes, God, I trust you will protect me.

What if Joshua said thanks God, but no thanks. I am not going to walk around the walls of Jericho for six days blowing only our trumpets and carrying the ark of the covenant. Then on the seventh day you seriously want me to walk around Jericho seven times, blowing our trumpets, then you just want us to yell? You know how everyone will look at us and laugh. Look at those fools, walking around blowing trumpets? Where are their swords and arrows? Do they not know how to fight? I will be called the worst general in history.

But Joshua did what God commanded.

What if Mary said thanks God, but no thanks. I am just a lowly woman from Nazareth. I have never been with a man. There is no way I will get pregnant. No God, this is not how I want to have my first child. I want to be married to Joseph first. I am happy here in Nazareth. Everyone will mock me and say I have disgraced Joseph. My entire family will be ridiculed and accused of something I did not do. All to have this child you want me to have? No thanks.

But Mary, said yes God. May your word to me be fulfilled.

What if Jesus said thanks God, but no thanks. You want me to leave my heavenly home, go to earth with all those sinners and be an example for them to follow. You want me to lead a sinless life,  to be beaten, ridiculed, laughed at, crucified, for these people? Yes, I know they are made in our image but they have not followed our commands and I don’t think they ever will. You want me to be the sacrifice for their sins? What did I do to deserve this?

But Jesus said yes God, let your will be done.

What if I said thanks God, but no thanks. God, I like it here in my box. I have nothing to say. No one, and I mean, no one will read what I write. Wouldn’t my time be better used spending time with my family or doing things I want to do? So what if a couple people end up reading them, I won’t have an impact on anyone’s lives? I will just be one of thousands upon thousands of bloggers.

But I said yes, God. I will write what you want me to write. I have been humbled by the comments I get from people that have read my posts and have said they have an impact. I have been completely amazed at how God has taken these words and sent them all over the world. I started in late May 2015 and have written 139 posts, counting this one. There have been 1455 visitors from 36 different countries. Maybe they just tune in for the music, maybe the words have changed one person’s life from a non-believer to a believer. I will probably never know but God knows. All because I said yes God.

I look forward to saying yes God more in 2016 because I fail miserably at times. I still hear Him saying go talk to that person and I don’t know why but my feet won’t move. I have a long way to go in my walk with God. I want to thank you for being part of that journey in 2015. I need to say yes more. Yes, God, whatever it is you want me to do today I will do.

Happy New Year and in 2016, let’s all say yes to God more often. We can change the world together.

Let’s go make disciples!

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Ready Set Go by Royal Tailor – 

Ready Or Not by Britt Nicole – 

Back To God by Randy Houser – 

If You Say Go by Blanca – 

Because He’s God by Shane and Shane – 

God In Me by The Daniel Doss Band – 

God Believes In You by Warren Barfield – 

Change Me God by Reilly – 

Give God All You Got by Andrea Helms – 

I Have Decided by Selah – 

Trust In You by Lauren Daigle – 

 

Steps of Faith

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Run For God- preparing people to be better witnesses for Christ physically, mentally and spiritually. Physically by creating a healthier you and make it possible to reach a new demographic of non-believers-potential believers. Mentally by learning the discipline and endurance it takes to run the race set before us. Spiritually by learning always to give God the glory for all that we accomplish.

Yesterday we finished our 12 weeks of running for God. My wife led her first Run For God class at our church. She stepped out of her box and did a wonderful job. I helped out with the children. I tried to teach them a lesson each week on preparing for the race and endurance of being a Christian. In the end I think they just ran around playing hide and seek in the life center more than anything.

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12 weeks of studying what it takes to run the race as Christians. 12 weeks of building endurance to run the race. 12 weeks of getting to know other members and become friends with them. 12 weeks of having struggles, doubts and fear. 12 weeks of overcoming every obstacle in the way and achieving more than we ever thought we could.

Almost all the members of the class were newbies to actually running. Some ran years ago but had given up. Some had never ran at all. The first week we started off by jogging 60 seconds and then walk for 90 seconds and repeat for 20 minutes. The homework was to do this 2 more times during the week. We slowly increased this week to week where week two was 90 seconds jog, 120 seconds run for 20 minutes to the last class where we jogged for 30 minutes straight. It is always amazing to see the people that struggled in week 1 to jog 60 seconds actually jog for 30 minutes and how much confidence they have gained in themselves through this process.

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Throughout the weeks we learned about different types of running gear, shoes – not one size fits all, stretching the proper way, injuries and injury prevention. We learned about nutrition, proper ways to lose weight, staying motivated, running your race and what to expect during the race.

We watched videos and read inspriring stories from the Hoyt family, Ryan Hall, Edwin Moses, Gary Basher and many others. These stories told us about overcoming obstacles, fears, and doubts.

We read about how Jesus is the one who enables us to run at all. The race of faith takes us to eternal life through God’s wondrous hand. Stick to God’s plan and let God keep you on the path that leads to life. We learned that to be a runner, and a Christian, you have to have the right equipment, be determined, diligent, and focused. The Bible makes an incredible number of references to the sport of running, paralleling it to the lives of believers and the journeys of exhaustion, pain, and dedication that all Christ-followers must experience.

Instead of always asking God for what you want, try asking for a better understanding of what He wants. Sometimes we get so busy doing what we think God wants us to do that we totally miss God. Make time every day for the Lord even if it means sacrificing something else that you love- it will be well worth the sacrifice. Don’t lose focus of your goal, whether it is physical, mental, or spiritual. Keep your eye on the goal and don’t complain about the obstacles you have to go through to achieve your goal.

Our 12 week ministry ended with the Steps Of Faith 5k run/walk that our friend, Ben Reed, started 4 years ago. All race proceeds will support The Heinzerling Foundation and Bradley’s House of Hope, two organizations (one local & one global) working to engage & develop individuals with disabilities in a loving & nurturing environment.  We had the largest turnout ever with over 400 people registering, I believe 8 different churches came together to run and share God together.

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Run For God does not end with the class. Many participants realize they can run and keep on going. Run For God is also a community outreach. I know several times have worn their Run For God shirts when running or shopping or … and people always are asking “what’s this Run For God thing?”.  We also volunteer at water stations for other races such as Cap City, Emerald City, Nationwide Children’s 1/2 and marathon, Ohio State 4 miler,  and many others.

Look for a church near you to join the next class. Can’t find one, start one. You will be amazed.

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God gave us a beautiful day and an amazing race. I can’t tell you enough how amazing it is to see people cross the finish line who, 12 weeks earlier, were struggling to run for 60 seconds. The smiles at the finish line from everyone were truly inspiring. Several people asked, “What’s next? Can we keep meeting to run?”

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Know that what you choose to believe is what will remain until we change our mind. If you believe that you are defeated then you are. While you are focused on tomorrow know that God is already there working it out for you, so live in the present. Live each day believing you are victorious in every area of your life. Run for God. Live it. Love it. Teach it.

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Thanks Ben Reed, thanks Mitchell Hollis for starting Run For God and,  most of all, thanks to God. With Him, anything is possible.

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*some excerpts from Run For God by Mitchell Hollis

Ben Reed, Just Say Yes     

Run For God, What’s It All About – 

Run For God, 5k Challenge – 

Run For God by Miriam and Sarah Burnette – Steps of Faith 5K Westerville Christian Church edition – 

Kings and Queens by Audio Adrenaline – 

Team Hoyt – 

Ryan Hall, How Does Running Glorify God? – 

Run For God Church of Messiah (where Ben Reed started it and where we learned about it) –