She Calls Me Pops

IMG_2916.JPG

 

She calls me Pops

And I call her Dots

I say I love you lots

She just smiles and walks away

One of those games she likes to play

But I know she loves me, even if she doesn’t say

We were close through the early years

Over football we bonded through the cheers

When we lost, we even shared a few tears

Two peas in a pod, we were thick as thieves

At night I would be on my knees

Praying to God don’t let her change, please

But now she says this is what teenagers do, we rebel

I say, ” But you are not a teenager, you are only twelve.”

Then she does an uugggh or some kind of tribal yell

But I know this time is only temporary

Because I’ve been through it before, her sisters and me

So I let it go and wait for the time when she will see

That good old pops was smarter than she thinks

And not everything I do really stinks

Because it will be over before she blinks

Then one day on her wedding day

I will be the one who gives my dots away

We’ll be on the dance floor when the music starts to play

She’ll look at me and say “hello pops”

And I’ll smile at her and say “hello dots”

Maybe, just maybe,  she will say I love you lots

Related image

Short Are The Years by Jason Crabb-  

Slow Down by Nichole Nordeman-  

Fast by Luke Bryan –  

My Last Breath by Black Stone Cherry-  

Female by Keith Urban –  

Woman, Amen by Dierks Bentley –  

Gracie by Ben Folds-  

 

 

Advertisements

Dad-Daughter Weekend

While Kim was in Boston Kylie and I decided to drive two hours to Akron to see Jeremy Camp and Micah Tyler in concert.  As you know from previous posts, Jeremy is one of our favorite artists and we see him anytime he comes to Ohio, no matter where he is.

We left Columbus at two and arrived around four so we could eat.  I thought for sure there would be a lot of places, like chain restaurants, to eat in the area but we could not find any.  We decided to stop about a half mile from the venue at a place called New Era Restaurant.  It was a nice little place but we found out it was mostly Hungarian food. I kind of have a rule, if I can’t pronounce the name of it, I don’t eat it.  I ordered a cheeseburger and fries. It was probably one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever ate. Kylie ordered the chicken tenders and fries and said the same thing.  Probably some of the best chicken tenders she ever ate.  Of course, afterward I was kicking myself in the butt for not trying something new and ordering Hungarian.

We were off to the concert and arrived early and picked up our tickets.  Kylie takes drum lessons from Leif, the drummer, and he is always gracious to talk to us and let Kylie help take down the drums after the concert.

I was looking forward to seeing Micah Tyler. His cd is really good and he has an amazing voice. He was very funny, told us his story and how God has worked in him, and was a great entertainer.

We met Jeremy after the concert and talked to him for a minute.  He was gracious enough to Facetime with Kim while she was in Boston and wish her best of luck in The Boston Marathon and told her with God, all this are possible, find your strength during the race in Him.

If you ever get a chance to see him in concert, I would highly recommend it.  He puts on a great show, has great testimony, and is always super nice.

I don’t know why my pictures are so bad. Take them with Iphone.  They look good on my phone lol.

Sunday we just hung out and did things around the house, since winter was still around. Kylie went to Young Lyfe Sunday afternoon and I actually went grocery shopping so Kim did not have to worry about doing it Tuesday when she got back. She needed some rest time. First time I had done that in a long long time. I actually enjoyed it. Of course, I bought meat dinners and a couple veggie dinners for Kim. Since there was a salad recall going on, I couldn’t buy her salads, that’s what she mostly eats. She eats like a rabbit and runs like a rabbit :).

Monday I made dinner, beef tips and noodles, after work.  Then we had to get the house cleaned up before mom arrived Monday night after the marathon.

Never Been A Moment by Micah Tyler – 

Different by Micah Tyler – 

The Answer by Jeremy Camp –  

My Defender by Jeremy Camp – 

Never Stopped Loving by Jeremy Camp – 

Your Choice

When I first started this I was thinking it would be about old friends or old relationship,  like Adele’s Someone Like You song.   Then I heard RaeLynn’s Love Triangle and it went a different direction. Hope you like. Dads, be there for you kids, no matter what. They need you in their life.  The statistics of how children turn out without a father in their lives are not good. Be there. Be thankful for them. Love them.  Be thankful for forgiveness. One of the most important things you can do as a dad is to love their mom. Show them what a real man and a real father and a real stick it out, work it out relationship should look like.

 

When I left it wasn’t your choice

It must be strange to hear my voice

After all these years

After you cried a million tears

“I’m sorry I was wrong.”

“I should never have left you for so long.”

“I’m sorry I decided to leave.”

“I know that must be hard for you to believe.”

“I felt like there was no other way.”

“When I packed my bags and left that day.”

“Your mom has raised you well.”

“You’re beautiful inside and out I can tell.”

I could also tell I had scarred her

Her first question, “Why didn’t you try harder?”

“Wasn’t I worth trying?”

“Do you know how many nights I spent crying?”

“I promise daddy, I could’ve been better!”

“Don’t you think I was worth one call, one letter?”

“I know you and mom had your troubles

But why did you keep me outside your bubble?”

“Do you know many nights  I yelled into my pillow at you?”

“Do you know how many days I wondered what did I do?”

I just stared at her, how could I cut her out of my life?

There was nothing I could say, she was right

She had so many questions that hurt me so

But nothing like the pain I caused her I know

I cried my first tear

I let go of all my fears

All the times I could’ve

All the times I should’ve

I let them all go, left the past in the past

Here she was in front of me at last

I asked, “Will you ever forgive me?”

“I did dad, a long time ago can’t you see?”

“I prayed for you!”

“I waited for you!”

“I did have so much anger and hate

But God taught me that love was the only way.”

“As hard as it was I slowly learned to forgive

So that I could learn to live.”

“I opened up the walls surrounding my heart.”

“Here I am dad, willing to give us another start!”

I lost it all, I crumbled in her arms

I promised her I would never again harm

If God could help us reunite

Then I knew I had to give Him my life

Thank you for mended relationships

Thank you God for fixing this

Never again will something come in between

I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she means

Love Triangle by Raelynn-  

Perfect Story by Idina Menzel – 

Every Other Weekend by Kenny Chesney and Reba McEntire- 

Two Houses by Matthew West – 

Family by TobyMac – 

Hey Mom and Dad by Sloppy – 

Song For My Father by Sarah McLachlan – 

Forgiveness by Matthew West – 

Forgiveness by TobyMac feat LeCrae – 

Forgiveness Is A Miracle by Jason Gray – 

A Daughter’s Gift

 

Part three of three poems I wrote many moons ago. If you missed part one or part two here they are :  A Mother’s Gift     A Father’s Gift

A Daughter’s Gift

I am too small to  speak

And I am still oh so weak

I don’t understand what you are saying

I will try to figure It out while I am playing

Don’t know what it is, but I’m missing something

From what you say daddy, she’s in Heaven with wings

I know I cry and I pout

But daddy, I am just trying to figure out

How someone could be taken away

Without me hearing one word she would say

I can hear the care and love in your voice

Even when I am making all this noise

You don’t know this but I hear you cry

When you think you are alone, I hear you ask why

Just promise me you will love me no matter what

And I’ll try to remember things I already forgot

If I remember right, mommy left so I could live

I won’t let you or her down , that’s the gift I give

You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell – 

Heaven’s Garden by Kieran Brennan and  Paul Kealy – 

If You Could See Me Now by The Script – 

Best Seat In The House by Locash Cowboys –  

I Still Miss You by Hawk Nelson – 

I Miss You by NllU – 

Go On Without Me by Brett Eldredge – 

With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman – 

 

A Father’s Gift

 

The second of three poems I am sharing this week that I wrote a long time ago.

If you missed the first one here it is:  A Mother’s Gift

I also posted another poem on Monday about spending time with your significant other, you can find it here :  If It’s Only An Hour

A Father’s Gift
It’s just you and me now

We will get by somehow

I promise to give you all my love

You’ll always be who I’m thinking of

I know you’re sad, I am too

Oh no baby , I don’t regret you

I know that we lost your mother

So you may never have a sister or a brother

I know no one will ever take her place

Someday, you may be asked to let another be that face

Until then, it will be just you and I

So we must remember, even when we don’t know why

Everything happens for a reason

Good and bad, in every season

We’ll both make mistakes, but nothing you ever do

Could ever, ever , take away my love for you 

A Fathers Love For His Daughter (commercial) – 

Don’t Take The Girl by Tim McGraw – 

Car In Front Of Me by Luke Bryan – 

Save A Place For Me by Matthew West – 

Without You by For King & Country – 

Sissy’s Song by Alan Jackson – 

One More Day by Diamond Rio – 

If I Had Only Known by Reba McEntire – 

Say Hello To Heaven by Collin Raye – 

 

 

Imperfect Father, Imperfect Daughter, Perfect Love

After my last post, I  would like to talk about my other daughters. Kylie gets a lot of attention since she is still at home but I have three other wonderful daughters. Isn’t God funny? The way I treated some girls when I was younger and then I get blessed with four daughters.

Kirstie is my oldest and has made a lot of mistakes. She is a great person with a big heart but she didn’t really have a father figure around while she was growing up ( I came in the picture when she was 13).  I see her growing and trying to better herself. I know I messed up some by giving up on her at times when she made those mistakes when I should have been pulling her closer. I pray she gives her life to God and lets him work in her.

Kelsey is who you would want a daughter to be. She makes mistakes but she stands for what she believes in. She is respectful and loving. She can be a little hard on people at times but in the end,  I believe she forgives and moves on. She has also called me D2 for her second dad but I pray one day I can move down to D3 and let God be D1. As you know I am not a big talker so I wish we were closer but that is my fault.

Kayhla is my daughter from my first marriage and she has been through so much so the rest of this will be her story. Her mom and I divorced when she was 3 or 4. We had shared parenting until she was 6 then her mom moved to Florida and I had full custody. I am not condemning her mom, she did what she thought she had to do at the time. I raised Kayhla by myself for a year or so then married the wrong person. I thought I could change her, only God can change someone.  That was a quick year and divorced again. As you can see, I was just as much blame for Kayhla’s early childhood experiences as her mom. I was always there physically to protect her and love her but once again, emotionally I wasn’t always there since I am not a talker.

Then I married my current wife and I thought everything was fine. We were in a stable home, going to church, my wife would take care of everything at home and the girls but I would work a lot and when I was home, I didn’t connect emotionally with anyone, let alone Kayhla.

Kayhla turned 15 and all heck broke loose. She had never dealt with the emotions of her mom leaving, the life changes I had put her through and how I wasn’t around to help her and show her how to be with a guy she deserves to be with. I basically was coming home to a war and I was the general and all I did was ground her and take away all her stuff. That didn’t help things. I also didn’t agree with what she was doing but it wasn’t much different than what I did as a teenager, except the disrespecting and back talking to parents. If I did that, I knew a belt was coming.  As things were getting worse and the situation was affecting my relationship with my wife I gave up. Not that I quit caring but for the first time in my life I gave up and gave it to God. I told him I couldn’t do this on my own.

First thing I heard was give her her stuff back. I did. My wife didn’t agree but I was listening to God. We then had her go to a Christian counselor to work through some of the things with her mom and I went to a few sessions to deal with how I had failed her. It changed how I parent and makes me a better parent today and was the start of the turnaround for Kayhla.

When my wife and I were going through a rough patch a few years ago, I was constantly amazed by how Kayhla would give me a bible verse or encouragement or say just the right thing at the right time. I knew that was God working through her.

She sometimes still doesn’t make decisions I agree with but I let her make them, win lose or draw. I know I am not in control and that God will direct her foot steps. I will always be here for her when she needs me. I believe she should move back home and save money and start paying back student loans but she isn’t ready yet. Will she ever be? I don’t know, but I will put it in God’s hands.

We aren’t as close as I wish we were but she works and goes to college and has a boyfriend so there isn’t a lot of time but we both need to work on getting closer.

Looking back I can honestly say that during this trial, I was always seeing things through my perspective. How could she do this to me, her dad? I am the only one that has been there for her her entire life, I’ve done everything for her, sacrificed so much for her, etc etc.   Now I see things differently. I see how this trial has made me a better father now, made me more patient, more appreciative. I also can see things through God’s eyes. I mean how many times has He had to say to me, why are you doing this, I am always there for you. Do you not realize how much I sacrificed, my own son, for you. That makes me open my eyes.

I need  to work with being closer to all three of these girls. I pray God lets them know how much I love them and how much they have made me a better person for knowing them. I pray God puts people in their lives to direct them closer to Him. I pray they see how God is working in me and their mom/step-mom and what we went through and where we are today and know that He can do the same for them, no matter what they are going through.

Since I didn’t talk much and what I did say didn’t seem to get through, I made Kayhla a cd. I tried to put songs on from her view and my view. Here are some of them.

Monster You Made by Pop Evil – 

Nobody’s Perfect by Jessie J – 

Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self by Pink – 

Letter To Me by Brad Paisley – 

Don’t Let Me Go by Summer Set – 

Keep Your Eyes Open by Needtobreathe – 

Daddies and Daughters by Kevin Fowler – 

Fathers and Daughters by Kristin Chenoweth – 

Moments Like These by Selah – 

Teenage Daughters by Martina McBride – 

Hurry Home by Jason Michael Carroll – 

Change In The Making by Addison Road – 

Baby You’re A Star by Deirick Haddon – 

Pray For You by Blessid Union Of Souls –