That Was Something

We were growing up and knew it all

Nothing but a good time, thought we’d never fall

Looking back I realize we knew nothing

That was 1980 something

Turned 21, got drunk and grew up

We kept falling in and out of love

Living life, man we were running

That was when we were twenty something

Met the girl that changed my world

Got married and had a couple girls

Figuring it out as we were living and loving

That was when we were thirty something

Girls grew up and we grew apart

Didn’t know time would break our hearts

I know I didn’t see this one coming

That was when we were forty something

Got a new house, got a new life

Fell in love, might ask her to be my wife

All these years led me to what I’m becoming

That was when I was fifty something

Heading into winter but summers not over

And the end’s getting a little closer

Don’t know what the next decade will bring

Guess we’ll see when I’m sixty something

Moments turn to memories and the sun will set one last time

And I’ll have gratitude for all that’s been a part of my life

I’ll smile and shake my head, thinking wasn’t that something

Living, loving, laughing, crying, my life, that was something

So Small

I got this scar under my chin

Riding down Devil’s Hill on my Schwinn

Hands in the air, flying like the wind

Don’t remember how I ended up on the ground

It was always two weeks before Christmas Eve

When we’d go buy that eleven foot tree

Some things I thought I’d always believe

But I’m back in my hometown and I’m looking around

And I’m kinda confused

Cause everything looks so small

Devil’s Hill isn’t quite that big

And that tree couldn’t have been that tall

When our ceiling is only eight feet

My bedroom always felt big enough

My mom would yell down the hall

Money was tight but we had lots of love

But now it all looks so small

My friends would play ball in the yard

Now I’m out here under the stars

Wondering where they all are

And how did we ever play out here

When a blanket saved you from the monsters outside

When we were young and thought we’d never die

When my parents were bigger than life

And now I wipe away a tear

And I’m kinda confused

Cause everything looks so small

And we visit my dads grave

And my mom doesn’t stand as tall

And she isn’t as strong as she used to be

This house was always big enough

And mom’s voice doesn’t quite carry down the hall

Money’s no longer a problem but man, where is the love ?

And I hold my mom’s hand wondering how it all got so small

And I wonder if I would’ve stayed

Would time still have taken it all away?

Maybe I’ll see it all again through my children’s eyes

I look away before they see me cry as I start to realize

One day they will ask how did it all get so small

This ocean we fished in is only a lake

And did we really play ball in this yard?

And they realize not all monsters are fake

When a hundred channels wasn’t enough

And when their dad seemed so tall

And I hope they know they were loved

When they wonder how it all got so small

And remember when their dad was strong and tall

First and Lasts

As I sat on the tailgate of my daughters truck with her last night, a lot of emotions surfaced. How did this amazing young lady sitting beside me , a senior in high school, get this old, how did I get this old? How did she go from being Super Why, a werewolf, a zombie cowboy and all the others to studying psychology while we are handing out candy ?

How did we go from dressing up and walking the neighborhood trick or treating to sitting on the back of a tailgate handing out candy to other kids that their parents think they have all the time in the world?

They don’t.

You blink and it’s gone. You go from first steps and first words and first trick or treats to probably her last Halloween at home. And soon it’ll be her last Thanksgiving and last Christmas and her last year of school that I get to see her everyday.

First day of kindergarten to first day of Senior Year, first race to last cross country race, first concerts to hopefully not last concerts but I am sure friends will replace me, first game at Wrigley Field to, well we do have one more summer before college and hopefully some summers in between college years, first College Game Day at Ohio Stadium to, well there is a big game coming up in a few weeks so maybe College Game Day will be there and we will have one more.

Her first college acceptance official letter came today. The email came a few days ago. Another email came today accepting her to another school. And I’m sure in the next few days or weeks, or blinks of an eye, she will get accepted to the other three or four she’s applied to. It’s nice to have choices.

But we almost know for sure where she will go. Far enough away to not see her often but close enough where she can still come back home on a weekend, if she wants too.

But more than likely she won’t be coming home to the same house she left, the house she grew up in.

A lot of changes are coming our way. Some good, some not so good. Some happy, some sad.

But like a book, life has its beginnings and its different chapters that somehow all come together to make a wonderful story. And as all stories end, new beginnings begin.

But for now there’s still a few more chapters to read in this book. Then it’ll go up on the shelf of memories and another book will be opened up.

I really have enjoyed being the dad in this book. I am thankful.

These Are Just A Few Of The Things That Are Messed Up On My Street

We have cats that bark and dogs that meow

We have wolves that roar and lions that howl

We have tigers that eat veggies and giraffes that eat meat

These are just a few of the things that are messed up on my street

We have newborns who talk and adults who don’t

We have things to be done but we know to be done they won’t

We have teenagers that are mature and parents that are not

We have commitments that are made and then conveniently forgot

We have neighbors that are alive and some that are dead

We have some planning a future and some with ghosts in their heads

We have turtles that are fast and rabbits that are slow

We have rivers that are dry and farm fields that won’t grow

We have hate that is rampant and we have love trying to find a way

We have marriages holding on tight and some destroyed by one choice made

We have people being shot and people being healed

We have truths being told and lies being concealed

We have some that live free and others that live in fear

We have some that have given up and some that believe hope still lives here

Then there is me who wants to be happy but is quite sad

I will share with you some of the questions I have

Can you love someone but no longer want to be with them?

Can you not go to church but still pray to God amen?

Would a chicken ever eat an egg and can a bee sting another bee?

Do these words make any sense to anyone but me?

If anything is possible doesn’t that mean anything could be impossible?

Which would also mean anything that is probable could still be improbable

If you expect the unexpected doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?

If I only talk to people via text and social media, am I really connected?

If my life is better in my dreams is it possible my life is really a dream?

Sometimes I wonder what’s the point if I am me and this is all that will ever be

Does a fish or shark or whale ever get dehydrated?

If you caused the issue then why, at me, are you so frustrated?

What’s the least important thing that’s the most important thing to you right now?

I apologize, as usual, these voices in my head have gotten sidetracked somehow

Is it committing murder if I kill these voices inside of me?

Social media shows every one is happy but I know not all is as it seems

If a toddler refuses to take a nap does that mean it’s resisting a rest?

Life, please give me some answers because I’m failing your test

How many times can a heart break before it breaks forever?

How many times can you say you won’t do the thing you did? I will never….

How many chapters of our life should I read before I close it and make my own ending?

Because, if we must honestly admit, we both know we are only pretending

God please help me, I think I’m going insane

Guess I better mow the grass before it starts to rain

Wait, I thought of something that doesn’t make sense

If I give you a penny for your thoughts then why are your thoughts worth two cents?

If, as a child, you’re told not to take candy from strangers then why is there Halloween?

If rabbits don’t lay eggs then where does the Easter Bunny get all the eggs it delivers to you and me?

I know, I know, I should really wrap this up

But can you answer this, does it exist, it being love

I know I’m unique, broken, hopeful, confused, a little crazy but is there anyone else like me?

These are just a few of the things I think about when I think about the things that are messed up on my street

Odd Man Out by Clayton Jones-

Things I Wish I Would’ve Said by Katy Nichole-

Who You Thought I Was by Brandy Clark-

Memories by Conan Gray-

Word That Don’t Exist by Citizen Soldier-

Hermie The Hermit Crab

“Come on in friend. I was just reminiscing on my younger days. Looking at all these old pictures brings back memories.”

“Take a look at this one. I was just a baby. My first shell.”

“I still relied on my parents a lot. They taught me what was going to happen as I got older. They taught me how to be polite and how to treat my friends, as well as strangers. One of my favorite things my parents taught me was to be kind to everyone. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. You never know when you are going to need someone to help you and they won’t if you are mean all the time.”

“Oops. You weren’t supposed to see that one. My mom took it in between shells. She embarrassed me so many times by showing that one to my friends.  Moooommmmm!!!!!!”

 

“Here is me as a teenager. That shell was a little too small for me. I thought I knew it all then. I forgot how my parents told me how important it was to get the right shell. Too small and I will have to move again soon.  Too big and I would have to carry that weight around until I could fill it.”

“That didn’t keep me from getting this shell as a young adult. Look how big it is.”

” I got it shortly after I left the care of my parents. I was going to take on the world. I didn’t need anything or anyone except me. I was growing so fast I was constantly changing shells. I was invincible.  I ran over anyone who stood in my way.”

“Then I needed someone. Everyone just walked around me. That’s when I remembered what my parents had taught me.  I was being terribly mean to everyone around me. It’s no excuse but it wasn’t easy for me to change shells. Every time I got comfortable and things were going my way I would grow a little more and have to leave my comfortable home. ”

“All I wanted was to have things stay the same. I liked many a shell and had to leave them. Some of my friends didn’t grow like I did and were able to settle into their shells for far longer times. Some even stayed in the same shell their entire lives.  They were too scared to leave and to grow into a new shell. Can you believe that? ”

“I, however, changed each time I changed my shell. Not all of those changes were good but, looking back, I can see how they all helped me become who I am today. I have become wiser , kinder, and more giving. You see , as I moved out of a shell that left a shell for someone else to move into. A younger version of me if you think about it. I could mentor them and teach them what I have been taught.”

“Life isn’t always sunshine on a beach. Sometimes you get these big waves, and sometimes the small ones too, that knock you on your back.  You have to fight to get back on your feet. Fight for what you believe in. Become a stronger, better crab.”

“Have you ever had someone be there for you every time you needed them? I didn’t think I did either but I did. And I do.”

“You see, one day I was just getting into a new shell when some humans were walking by. I heard them talking about God. How he made the sunrises and the sunsets I see every day. They were telling their children about how much he loved them. How he is always with them. When they are tired he can carry them. When they struggle he can help them overcome. They told them about his grace and how he forgives them for their mistakes. They even told them about who they are in him. That no matter what happens in this world, they are his children and they are loved and cherished by him. He even gave his one and only son to them and let him die on a cross  to show how much he loved them. ”

“I wish I would’ve heard about God a lot sooner in my life. Maybe I wouldn’t have made a lot of the mistakes I did. I would’ve known that I didn’t have to live with those mistakes. I could live guilt and shame free and be forgiven.”

“I will also tell you God has a plan for me, and for you. Even in times of struggle, stay true to Him and His promises. Some of the hardest times in my life turned out to be blessings. I learned so much about who I am when I had to leave one shell for another. The moments when I was vulnerable and felt unprotected. The times when the shell didn’t fit just right but I had to hold on and wait for a better day. Those are the the times I remember the most.”

“Now that I have told you about what I know about God will you go tell your friends.  Let’s learn more about Him together. Let’s go treat others like we want to be treated. It’ll be hard and some will reject what we have to say but we have to stay steadfast. Stay true my friend, stay true.”

Save Me by Jason Lancaster – 

Everything Comes Alive by We Are The Messengers – 

Say The Word by Hillsong United – 

Thy Will by Hillary Scott –  

Greater Is He by  Blanca –  

Diamonds by Hawk Nelson –  

The God I Know by Love and the Outcome –  

Live It Well by Switchfoot –  

Blessings by Laura Story –