Hey Emily

On May 16, 2023May 16, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, poems, PoetryLeave a comment

Hey Emily, why is there sadness in your eyes

But a smile on your face?

Hey Emily, what makes you want to cry?

Why do you keep it all inside?

Hey Emily, I’m asking do you need help?

I’m here to listen or to hold your hand

Hey Emily, why would you want to be someone else?

You’re beautiful, Emily, being yourself

Hey Emily, do you know your silence speaks so loud?

I see you Emily, you’re not alone

Hey Emily, you don’t have to feel alone in a crowd

Let me be your umbrella when the rain is pouring down

Hey Emily, your light still shines

I see the you you want to be

Hey Emily, don’t give up the fight

I am here right by our side

Hey Emily, please hear what I have to say

You don’t have to carry this sadness alone

Hey Emily, let me carry some of that weight

Talk to me Emily, before it’s too late

Hey Emily, I’ve been in your shoes

Alone in the dark, alone in my room

Hey Emily, I’ll never give up on you

Hey Emily, I will never give up on you

hope you’re ok by Olivia Rodrigo –

My Mind and Me by Selena Gomez –

Ok Not to Be Okay by Demi Lovato / Marhsmellow –

Be Alright by Georgia Box –

Anxiety by Anna Clendening –

Dear Daughter by Halestorm –

Self Love by Avery Anna –

Anxiety by Julia Michaels w/ Selena Gomez –

When You’re Afraid To Be Left Alone

On May 15, 2023May 15, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, poems, PoetryLeave a comment

8 powerful suicide prevention quotes - How does your health and body affect your happiness - happiness.com

When you’re afraid

to be left alone

When you want to ask for help

But can’t pick up the phone

When you look in the mirror

And the person looking back isn’t you

When you’re so tired

And you don’t know what to do

When you want to scream

But nothing will come out

When you whisper I’m not okay

But all you want to do is shout

When you’re with your friends

And they seem to be enjoying life

When you wonder if they know

All you want to do is die

When you wonder

How much you have left

When you can’t stop

Thinking about death

When you want to be left alone

But know you can’t be

When the darkness

Is all you see

When mom says going to the store

Will you be okay

You answer yes

But really want to say

No, I may not be alive

When you get home

When you really want to say

I’m afraid to be left alone

When the struggle is real

And you don’t know what to do

YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE NOT ALONE

LET THAT BE YOUR TRUTH

Lawmakers push for bill aiding suicide prevention | Coronavirus | newspressnow.com

Too Young, Too Soon by Matthew West –

Beautiful Anyway by Judah & The Lion-

Dawn by Rebecca St. James –

You Met Me There by Rhett Walker Band –

Alive and Breathing by Matt Maher –

Not Going There Again

On April 25, 2023April 25, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, poems, PoetryLeave a comment

I feel the room start to spin

I feel it pulling me in

For a second, I feel like it might win

Hold my breath and count to ten

Open my eyes and see where I am

Remember that yesterday is a foreign land

Right here, right now I take my stand

‘Cause when I look in the mirror I like this man

I may walk this path alone

Singing a new song

Thankful for how much I’ve grown

Loving this new home

Got rid of all the debris

You can walk beside me

Or you can let me be

It’s not that hard to see

Broke those chains that bound

That were holding me down

Loving this life I’ve found

I see beauty all around

Inside My Head (Seeing A Therapist)

On April 18, 2023September 15, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, poems, PoetryLeave a comment

Wow! It is hard to believe this was 17 months ago. I wanted to repost it to encourage others to not give up. It is a slow, long process to get from where I was to where I am. Take small steps each day. If you take a step back, do not beat yourself up, give yourself grace. One of the biggest things I have learned is YOU have to do the work. God can tell you what you need to do, your therapist/counselor can tell you what to do, but until YOU do the work, you will not heal and live the way you are meant to live. If God or someone told you to be entirely healed, no more depression, anxiety, self doubt, not liking yourself, etc. you must walk 12 hours a day for the next 7 days, I am betting there are not many people that would do that work, even though they know after 7 days they will be healed.

It is up to you and you are stronger than your storm, braver than the battles you fight, and you are worth it. Believe it!!

Since early September, I’ve been seeing a therapist

Thought I’d knock some things off my list

I knew I had one or two, no more than three

But inside of my head is a scary place to be

The monsters in my head

Have been fed and fed

I found things I forgot I lost

Buried deep, but at a cost

Didn’t want to talk but I spilled my guts

Didn’t know I was this messed up

Often putting myself in solitary

To find out I’m my own worst adversary

I’ve had walls built so high

I forgot what was locked inside

They say scars make you stronger but they hurt like hell

I never knew I had so many stories to tell

Didn’t know I was broken until those words were spoken

Here I am standing on the ledge hopin’

Someone, anyone will pull me back

But I don’t think I know anyone like that

Can you hear me shout?

My silence is so loud

Slowly we’ve been tearing some of those walls down

A little hope but, at times, I felt as if I would drown

We all grieve in our own way

I kept throwing things in an open grave

Tossing my feelings and emotions inside

Always looking for a place to hide

No fears, no tears for too many years

All the while, collecting a lot of souvenirs

But those souvenirs were really just debris

Weighing me down, keeping me from being me

Little did I know they were tearing my world apart

All those things that were hidden in the dark

I’m starting to see in a new light

I know my life’s worth the fight

I still don’t know what’s on the other side of the door

But I’ll take the next step forward to be healthier than before

Citizen Soldier is one of my favorite bands and most of their songs I feel like they were inside my head when they wrote them so here are some of their songs.

Bedroom Ceiling-

I’m Not Okay-

If I Surrender-

Hand Me Down-

Weight Of The World-

Stronger Than My Storm-

Invisible-

Would Anyone Care? –

Just Be Happy-

Sometimes I Wish I Wasn’t Me

On April 6, 2023September 15, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, how do you want to be remembered, poems, Poetry2 Comments

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

That inside I could be ugly

That I could cheat and lie

But I know if I did, a part of me would die

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

And I didn’t take care of my responsibilities

That I could go and buy the next big thing

But if I did, I know happiness it would not bring

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

That I didn’t have morals or integrity

That I didn’t believe in what I believe

But then I wonder who would I be?

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

That I had the ability to deceive

But then I would wish I was somebody else

Because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

That I didn’t love so easily

That I could use people for my pleasure

But if I did I would feel terrible, not better

Sometime I wish I wasn’t me

I wish I could crawl into the dark and never leave

But I know there’s a fighter deep inside

That would never let me give up my life

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

But those times are only paragraphs of my story

And I have entire chapters full of history

Of why I’m thankful I am me

So Small

On February 15, 2023February 14, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Growing Up, poems, PoetryLeave a comment

I got this scar under my chin

Riding down Devil’s Hill on my Schwinn

Hands in the air, flying like the wind

Don’t remember how I ended up on the ground

It was always two weeks before Christmas Eve

When we’d go buy that eleven foot tree

Some things I thought I’d always believe

But I’m back in my hometown and I’m looking around

And I’m kinda confused

Cause everything looks so small

Devil’s Hill isn’t quite that big

And that tree couldn’t have been that tall

When our ceiling is only eight feet

My bedroom always felt big enough

My mom would yell down the hall

Money was tight but we had lots of love

But now it all looks so small

My friends would play ball in the yard

Now I’m out here under the stars

Wondering where they all are

And how did we ever play out here

When a blanket saved you from the monsters outside

When we were young and thought we’d never die

When my parents were bigger than life

And now I wipe away a tear

And I’m kinda confused

Cause everything looks so small

And we visit my dads grave

And my mom doesn’t stand as tall

And she isn’t as strong as she used to be

This house was always big enough

And mom’s voice doesn’t quite carry down the hall

Money’s no longer a problem but man, where is the love ?

And I hold my mom’s hand wondering how it all got so small

And I wonder if I would’ve stayed

Would time still have taken it all away?

Maybe I’ll see it all again through my children’s eyes

I look away before they see me cry as I start to realize

One day they will ask how did it all get so small

This ocean we fished in is only a lake

And did we really play ball in this yard?

And they realize not all monsters are fake

When a hundred channels wasn’t enough

And when their dad seemed so tall

And I hope they know they were loved

When they wonder how it all got so small

And remember when their dad was strong and tall

Unconditional Love

On February 9, 2023September 17, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, divorce, poems, Poetry, unconditional loveLeave a comment

You watch me grab my keys and put on my coat

And you know it’s off to work I go

You walk me to the door

Silently saying I love you more

When I come home and the garage door goes up

You’re always there to greet me with nothing but love

And no matter what we went through that day

I know you will always be here to stay

I don’t know if I can love you like you love me

Because I don’t know if I can love that unconditionally

You’re always there when I want to talk

You never say no when I want to take a walk

You’re the best listener, never judging me

You’re my shotgun rider in the passenger seat

You kiss my tears when I’m sad

You snuggle beside me when I’m mad

You’re laying here beside me in my bed

I talk but will you remember the words I said

I wonder if you’ll remember that it’s nothing you did

When you’re looking around the house like I hid

And when I’m nowhere to be found

You’ll never give up, always looking around

I wonder if she knows how much she’s changed your life too

When you stare out the window waiting for me to come home to you

Love Not Hate- Christmas Eve

On December 23, 2022August 4, 2023 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Christmas, poems, Poetry3 Comments

cardinals, goldfinch, bluebird, nuthatch, chickadee: — art credit: James Hautman

History of the birds:

Love, Not Hate: Part 1

Love, Not Hate: Part Two

Love, Not Hate: Christmas Eve

Love, Not Hate: A New Chapter

Love, Not Hate: A New World

Love, Not Hate: The Division

Love, Not Hate: The Reconciliation

Love, Not Hate: Tragedy At Mandalay Bay

Love, Not Hate: Continue To Love

Love Not Hate: Love On Trial

Love Not Hate- Trick or Treat, Halloween Night

Love Not Hate- Teach A Human Day

Love Not Hate – Tragedy in Texas

It was Christmas Eve all through the land

All the birds stared in amazement at the Christmas tree so grand

The little birds could barely contain their excitement

The older birds looked on, filled with contentment

The eagle remembered how far they have come

He remembered all the work ALL the birds had done

Which made this day an even more special day

He took his place and said: “Birds, I have something to say”

Want to see one--not at a zoo--SOON!: — photo credit: Paula Krugerud Photography

“I’ll keep it short since tonight the little ones can’t be up late.”

“It has been a long time since we chose to love instead of hate.”

“It was a lot of work to repair our broken relationships.”

“As you all know, it hasn’t always gone to script.”

“We have learned from our mistakes, our experiences.”

“We have learned to work through our differences.”

“We have returned this land to the way it was created.”

“For that reason alone, tonight we ALL should be celebrated!”

“We are gathered here today because of the one who was born.”

“Who also died for us, tattered and torn.”

“As some of us birds are getting older,

We know we can’t carry this land on our shoulders.”

“We must teach the next generation

That love is the only way to rule this nation!”

All the birds started to sing

A beautiful sound that caused a gathering

All the animals from the forest came

The deer, the rabbit, the skunk and others you know by name

They gathered around the Christmas tree

They held hands and all sung with glee

The sound reached near and far

Then humans arrived, by foot and by car

They couldn’t believe their eyes

It was then they started to realize

Everything they thought they knew had to be ruled out

Because right there was a hawk singing with a field mouse

There was a bear beside a deer

There was a sheep standing by a wolf with no fear

There was a fox right beside a hare

All these beautiful birds were there

They could hardly believe their ears

When the animals said: “There is nothing here to fear!”

“Yes, at one time we were all enemies!”

“We decided to let love rule our hearts until our eyes could see!”

Then the humans held each other’s hands

All the different people across the land

Blacks and whites, Muslim and Christian

All races, all people, could see the animals vision

The eagle then spoke once again:

“One last thing to say my friends.”

“To move forward you must move on from the past!”

“You have to live as last is first and first is last.”

“Let every man, every woman, every boy, every girl

Know what it’s like to have peace in this world!”

“Let ALL our voices join together as we sing Silent Night!”

Then they sang Joy To The World and We Wish You A Merry Christmas

I can only say it’s all true, as I was there to witness

All the birds of a different color

Helped all the people discover

Instead of fighting they should ALL join hands

Because love is the only way to rule the land

Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a love filled night

Image result for animals around a christmas tree

Image result for bible verse on christmas

Let It Be Christmas by Alan Jackson –

Santa’s Wish (Teach The World) by The Tenors –

Better Together by Gaither Vocal Band –

Join With The Angels by Matthew West –

Rest In You Tonight by The Oak Ridge Boys –

Gather Round by Band Of Merrymakers –

The Night Before Christmas by Brandon Heath –

Wish List by 7eventh Time Down –

Silent Night by Pentatonix –

I Wanna Live In That Town

On December 20, 2022December 20, 2022 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Christmas, poems, Poetry7 Comments

I wanna live in that town

Where love is always found

It’s in all the Hallmark movies

Where Main Street is lit up like a city

Everyone has a smile on their face

The grinches have all been replaced

The Christmas tree shines on the square

It seems like the entire town is there

I wanna live in that town

Where happy endings are all around

Where snowmen never melt

And only happiness is felt

Where children wait anxiously

For Santa to come down the chimney

Where miracles are found on every corner

Somehow the cold always feels a little warmer

But I wonder come January

Will it all have been a fantasy

But then, this thought came to my mind

I laughed out loud as I started to realize

My eyes they started to twinkle

Could it really be this simple?

This place that I’m writing about

Where love and kindness is always found

That the Christmas spirit in this town

It can live in me all year round

That Spirit of Christmas by Ray Charles –

I Don’t Want Christmas To End by Zach Williams –

A Christmas Prayer

On December 19, 2022December 19, 2022 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Christmas, poems, Poetry1 Comment

Image result for charlie brown i think there must be something wrong with me

A Christmas prayer

For the ones out there

Who aren’t full of happiness and cheer

Who are depressed and worn out this time of year

This time of year can be tough

Sometimes you just want to scream ENOUGH!

Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one

Or past hurts that have been done

Everyone else seems full of glee

You’re thinking “everyone but me”

You aren’t the only one faking a smile

Remember the season is because of the birth of a child

It’s not the decorations or presents

Or all the parties and events

Here is an open invitation

To join in the celebration

Image result for bible verses on hope and strength

No gifts to bring or trees to decorate

Whenever you are ready, we will wait

A genuine heart with love to give

I believe you are meant to live

Do not give up, Do not be dismayed

If you are having a string of bad days

There is a hope for a better tomorrow

One not promised without sorrow

One not promised without pain

One not promised without rain

One promised that you are never alone

One promised that you have a home

One promised that you are loved

One promised of HOPE, sealed by His blood

Image result for luke 19 10

I can’t promise tomorrow will be better

I can promise you have a helper

Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up

Don’t give up when you’ve had enough

The night will fall and the sun will soon shine

Please, please give it some more time

Tomorrow is new

Perhaps a blessing for you

Tomorrow will soon be here

And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year

A baby boy was born in a manger

Don’t let him be a stranger

Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace

Tomorrow you will gladly embrace

I want you to know you are known

And that you aren’t alone

Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue

This is my Christmas prayer for you

Image result for 1 corinthians 2 9

Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:

Call 911.
Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

Image result for bible verses on tomorrow is a new day