But l, like you, was too wrapped up in my own screen
To look up and reach out to tell you how much you mean to me
But in the end I guess you are just a little stronger
And you’ve been able to fight a little longer
But for me, well this was my last night
The darkness claimed victory over the light
And maybe I shouldn’t have smiled through the pain
And maybe I shouldn’t have hidden these thoughts in my brain
Maybe you wouldn’t have thought I was going insane
And maybe you could’ve broke me free from these chains
But a lot of maybes I guess we’ll never know
I miss who I was not so long ago
I wish you could see these tears roll down my face
But man, there’s so many things I can’t erase
And I know sorry will never be enough
I wish, I wish I felt like I was loved
But you know, it’s not like anyone will miss me
When was the last time anyone even reached out to me?
I mean, you really had to know
I was taking blow after blow
And you had to know I got up each time a little slower
And you had to see I was holding my head a little lower
You had to see I smiled a whole lot less
I mean, I was a total freaking mess
Not even Instagram could hide my sadness
And my Tik Tok’s were borderline madness
Hey, I’ve even scheduled posts three months ahead
I might even be instafamous after I’m dead
At least for a day or two
Then it’ll again be all about you
I mean my writings went from hope and faith to despair
But not one person reached out to care
A pity party this is not
Like me, it’ll be so easily forgot
Like I said, I get it, you’ve got your own likes to get
But I hope , unlike me, you can live without regrets
You know, it wouldn’t hurt to get away from the screen
Be a good friend, a real relationship, one last piece of advice from me
And I know you are busy, got your own life to live
But man, I hope God really does forgive
Don’t get me wrong , it’s not all on you
These demons I have are a wicked crew
Maybe I should’ve told you all this before tonight
But it really wasn’t until a minute ago I gave up the fight
I always felt like I’d have more time
But sometimes you are out of rhymes
I wish I never felt the things that I have felt
But I feel like I didn’t know how to ask for help
(In case anyone thinks this is a goodbye note, it is not. I am still here but these thoughts are in my head. We all know someone who is hurting but we are afraid to reach out and dig deep and make that connection. Challenge this weekend is to put your phones down, go knock on a neighbor’s door and ask them how they are doing. Buy a pizza and sit down together and talk. Who knows, you might just save a life.)
You Will Be Found by Ben Platt –
A Place Called Earth by Jon Foreman/ Lauren Daigle –
I do not understand this world we live in, why someone has to take a gun to a school or a mall or a job and shoot innocent people. Sometimes you just want to crawl into a corner and cry. Do whatever you have to do to take that mental health break. Take a moment, take a breath, take a step forward.
We’ve been hurting for so long
But we keep singing the same song
And maybe I’m wrong
I’m done watching the news
I’m going to turn off the tv
Take some time for me
I’m not going to apologize
For not listening to the lies
Putting it all in a box
Praying it will all stop
Cause there’s been enough hurt for today
Not much else for me to say
I know it’s not going to go away
Maybe it’s only a delay
Finding some alone time to pray
Cause there’s been enough hurt for today
Not going to think about tomorrow
All the hate, all the sorrow
I know there’s more for me to know
Not going to think about the shootings
The virus, the death, the violence, the looting
Need a win, tired of the losing
Going to think about something else
May be selfish, but need to heal myself
Been living too long in the dark
Need a cure for my broken heart
Cause there’s been enough hurt for today
Not much else for me to say
I know it’s not going to go away
Maybe it’s only a delay
Finding some alone time to pray
Cause there’s been enough hurt for today
Maybe I’m only hitting pause
Hoping we’re not a lost cause
We are all broken , yet chosen
Praying we can get through this moment
Cause there’s been enough hurt for today
Not much else for me to say
I know it’s not going to go away
Maybe it’s only a delay
Finding some alone time to pray
Cause there’s been enough hurt for today
Good Day by Apollo LTD –
Gospel Song by Rhett Walker –
Fires by Jordan St. Cyr –
We All Need Jesus by Danny Gokey & Koryn Hawthorne –