I Could Believe In God – A Story

On June 22, 2016June 22, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God, Miracles, music13 Comments

Some people do not believe in God or miracles because they can not see them. Their eyes are not open to see all the miracles that happen around them every day. They look for the big miracles, the wow, did you just see that. They do not see the little miracles, how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, the blooming of a flower, or even the miracle of you. How you woke up and can breathe. This is a story of one man whose eyes are closed.

I just wanted to share some snippets of my life. Things that have happened that I can’t explain. Some people will ask me how I could not believe in God after what has happened to me. I say I would, if I could only see a miracle.

I was seven at the time. It was the largest tree in the neighborhood so, naturally, I was drawn to it. I was a climber. I climbed without fear. I climbed until the branches could barely hold my weight. That is, until I climbed too far and the last branch didn’t. I fell. I knew I was going to die. Right before I hit the ground I could feel a swoosh of air around me and the next thing I knew I was standing on the ground. I stood there for a minute, not sure of what just happened. All I knew was I was standing without a scratch on me when I should’ve been laying on the ground seriously hurt, if not dead. How did I do that?

When I was twenty, I was driving in my car and was hit by a big truck. The entire front end was separated from the back end. It was bad. Here is the crazy thing, I wasn’t hurt, not a scratch. I don’t know how it happened and it still has me scratching my head to this day. You see, I ended up in the back seat, with the seat belt on. I don’t know how I managed to get out of the front seat, place myself in the back seat and put my seat belt on all in less than a second. The funny thing is the seat belt in the drivers seat was still attached, like I was sitting in it. How did I do that?

Many years later my wife and I were expecting our first child. She was born four months prematurely and had a heart that wasn’t fully developed. The doctors told us she wouldn’t live more than a few days. We were devastated. My wife was a prayer warrior, but I wasn’t. I didn’t believe in God. I didn’t mind my wife praying if that’s what got her through the day but it wasn’t for me. There was a nurse that seemed to be there all day and all night. Every time we would go to NICU she would be there. She was also always with our daughter. One day would turn into two into four into eight. Our daughter made it through those eight days and is now a strong, beautiful, smart, young twenty year old woman. I remember asking the hospital staff about the nurse that was always there and no one knew who I was talking about. Crazy isn’t it? One of the nurses even said maybe she was our daughter’s guardian angel. I guess if you believe in that sort of thing, but I don’t.

My wife became ill two years ago. She was diagnosed with a disease I won’t even try to pronounce, let alone spell. A disease there was no cure for. The doctors gave her two- four months to live. How could this be? She was perfectly healthy one day and the next we are being told she would be gone in four months. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My wife prayed. I pulled my hair out. To be honest maybe I did say a tiny prayer to a God I didn’t believe in but….

While my wife was in the hospital guess who I saw ? You are correct. The same nurse that was in NICU that no one knew who she was. I would see her walking up and down the hall ways day and night. I would go get something to eat and my wife would tell me about the nurse who came in and made her feel at peace. Once again, no one knew who I was talking about. How could I see this nurse during these times yet no one on staff knows who she is?

Wouldn’t you know it, my wife came home two months after her diagnosis. Completely cured of her incurable disease. I said it must have been a misdiagnosis. The doctors called it a miracle.

My daughter visits often and talks about this lady she sees from time to time. Like the time she was looking at her cell phone and almost stepped in front of a bus. That was until a lady grabbed her arm and pulled her back. My daughter had my wife’s faith and said maybe it was her guardian angel. I laughed. She knew I didn’t believe in those kind of things.

It was a little uncanny however when my daughter described this lady and it was an exact match to the nurse I saw in the NICU and in my wife’s hospital room.

Sometimes I wish I believed like my wife and daughter do. This world is just too much of a mess for me to believe in God.

Maybe I could believe in God if I could just see Him do a miracle.

I Saw God Today by George Strait –

Miracles by Audio Adrenaline –

Miracle Of The Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman –

Miracles by Blessid Union Of Souls –

Miracles by Kirk Franklin –

Miracles by Newsboys –

Angels Among Us by Alabama –

When You Believe by Whitney Houston –

Running With Sin

On June 20, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, running, Sin4 Comments

I ran today. Without pain. I don’t remember the last time I ran without pain. It was a lot easier to run, let me tell you that. I didn’t even realize I had no pain until I was finished and was like hhmm, that was fast and felt good. Then I got to thinking, did I have pain yesterday? I don’t think I did.

I had ran with pain for so long that I had gotten used to it. It was just an every day part of my life. A pain and irritating but it didn’t stop me from running. Well, it did stop me from running like I used to but I could still run.

Which brings me to my topic for today. Running with sin. How many of us are so used to sinning that we don’t even think about it anymore. It has just become a part of our lives. Lying, cheating, addiction, idol worship, spending more than we make, etc… We don’t even think it is wrong anymore, it’s just become a part of who we are.

We limp around everyday with the sin on our back. It doesn’t stop us from living. Not only sin but let’s talk about shame, guilt, fear, pride, etc.. The monkey is on our back but we just keep on going. Sometimes we add on to it until the weight becomes so much we can longer carry it. Then we break.

The smart thing for me to do when I am injured is to slow down. Take a few days off. Rest my injury so I can get back to a pain free run. However, I usually don’t heed that advice and keep going until it heals, which takes longer, or it hurts more, or I just get to the point I ignore it.

When I run with sin what should I do? Stop doing it. Pray to God to help me. I know it’s wrong but some things will take more than me knowing it for me to stop. I need to break the addiction. I need someone to hold me accountable. Maybe it’s a best friend or my pastor or someone I will trust to be honest with me. Confess my sins and know that I am forgiven. Fight another day. Let the guilt, shame, pride, fear go. Give it all up.

I don’t want to run with sin. I want to run with God and there is only one way I know how to do that. Give it all to Him. Work on it every single day. Before I know it, I will wake up one day and truly be free. I will be able to live my life without all the junk and pain I added to it.

How about you? Are you tired of running with sin? Want to be able to live free?

Turning Away by Bryan Andrew Wilson –

Running To Stand Still by U2 –

Run by Thriving Ivory –

Run by Kutless –

Run by Sanctus Real –

I Won’t Run Away by Ashes Remain –

Run To Jesus by Francesca Battistelli –

Happy 10 Year anniversary to my wife

On June 18, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life16 Comments

I don’t think I can outdo the video I did last year so I will just repost this from last year. Happy 11 year anniversary. This past year has seen some dreams come true for you, and for us. Running NYC and Boston marathons and Kylie and I getting to explore the cities. Even though my dreams of getting my words published haven’t come true YET, at least they are out there for the world to see and not in the trash can. Let’s work on things we know we need to work on for this next year. Love you.

My God, My Music, My Life

What can I say? We have been through hell and back and here we are still fighting the good fight. I see God working in us more and more each day. I pray that as painful as our story was, that one day God will use it for His glory and we can help others.

You are an amazing mother, an awesome healthy cooking chef – just no orange chicken please, a great wife, and make me want to be better physically. Just don’t ever ask me to do a workout with you because you know you kill me. I pray one day when I get back to where I was we can run together again and cross a finish line together. ( I know I will have to slow down to do that since I was so much faster than you 🙂 )

I see the changes you have…

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New, Forgotten, Unknown 6/17/16 New Music Friday

On June 17, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, new music, new music Friday8 Comments

Three new musician followers this week. Think I have been stuck on three a week for awhile now. Come on people, I’m allowed to have more than three a week. 🙂 Take a listen, might find someone new that you really like their music. Please feel free to share/purchase the song I wrote the lyrics to, Lily Messer is the voice and Ceylon Wise is the producer. I have many more songs I would like to get out there but can not financially afford to record them. If interested in teaming up together, feel free to contact me.

Thanks for all the follows, musicians and non-musicians.

Gotta Have You by Risa Bender –

Feel Good Feeling by Ryan Daniel –

Ordinary by The Further (Barrington Mole) –

Some other music from non-followers I have listened to recently. Pick out a few you haven’t heard and take a listen. In trying not to put way too songs on here I am going to start putting 1 or 2 per band max and just tell you the entire cd, or 90%, is good and I would recommend purchasing it or checking out more songs on your own. I may add more artists and their new cd’s as I listen to more songs from them. Not all the way through all of them yet.

Cd’s I recommend:

Listen by Tim Bowman Jr

Black by Dierks Bentley

If I’m Honest by Blake Shelton

Honest by Maren Morris

Life Screams by Lacey Sturm

All This For A Piece of Fruit by Dogs of Peace –

Better by Meghan Trainor –

Break Free by Cilver –

Bottom To The Top by V. Rose –

Bottle You Up by Zendaya –

Burden by Foy Vance –

Already Ready by Dan & Shay –

Battleship Chains by Volbeat –

Beautiful World by Mudcrutch –

Catching Fire by Tremonti –

Different For Girls by Dierks Bentley –

Figure Me Out by The Summer Set –

Chasing The Sky by Jussie Smollett –

Circles by Pierce The Veil –

Color Purple by Da Truth –

Drunk Girls Don’t Cry by Maren Morris –

Drunk In Heels by Jennifer Nettles –

Every Time I Hear That Song by Blake Shelton –

Everybody Needs Love by Tim Bowman Jr. –

Faith by Lacey Sturm –

Fling Wide! Fling Wide! by Urban Rescue –

Free Now by Sleeping With Sirens –

Freedom by Beyonce –

Get Myself To Saturday by Michael Franti –

and our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

On Itunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

What Version Of Me

On June 16, 2016June 16, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, poems, Poetry, the mask you wear8 Comments

What version of me

Will I let you see

The one who can smile through the pain

The one who dances in the rain

The one who keeps it all inside

The one who can’t find a safe place to hide

The one who screams at God to take it all away

The one that says yes God today is the day

The one who would take a bullet for you

The one who will walk away, find someone new

The one who has a million voices in his head

The one who will only listen to the one who bled

The one who has fears and doubts

The one who has life figured out

Tell me what version you want to see

Does anyone want to know the real me

The hurt I feel, the anger locked away

The one who wonders who will listen to what I have to say

The one who says this one’s pretty good, maybe they’ll like

The one whose voices in his head are always in a fight

The one who only knows how to pray

The one who says forget about it, live for another day

The one who loves with all his heart

The one who won’t let you know he fell apart

The one who wears the mask

The one whose real face won’t last

So tell me, what version do you want to see today

I can be that person if that’s the only way

Should I just be me?

I Can Just Be Me by Laura Story –

I Don’t Want To Be by Gavin Degraw –

Do You Wanna Know by Kesha –

Well, I was in an Art Of Dying kind of mood today.

Raining by Art of Dying –

Best I Can by Art of Dying –

Tear Down The Wall by Art of Dying –

Best I Can by Decyfer Down –

Best I Am by Flaw –

Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert –

Monster You Made by Pop Evil –

Who Am I by Casting Crowns –

I Know What It’s Like

On June 14, 2016June 23, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, I Know What It's Like, music, Poetry15 Comments

I know what it’s like to feel all alone

I know what it’s like to be a stranger in your own home

I know what it’s like to have words to speak

Only to have them not come out when our eyes meet

I know what it’s like to have your heart broken

By words that should’ve been left unspoken

I know what it’s like to walk the streets of NYC and feel like the only one there

I know what’s it’s like to have someone who loves you say they no longer care

I know what it’s like to lose and to mourn

I know what it’s like see the joy of a life born

I know what it’s like to fake a smile

I know what it’s like to go the extra mile

I know what it’s like to be rejected

I know what it’s like to feel neglected

I know what it’s like to struggle with fear

I know what it’s like to shed a tear

I know what it’s like to feel like I don’t matter

I know what’s it’s like to wonder why I can’t hear the laughter

I don’t know what it’s like to be crucified on a cross

I don’t know what it’s like to die for all those who are lost

I don’t know what it’s like to perform a miracle

I don’t know what it’s like to be thought of as only mythical

I don’t know what it’s like to look down from Heaven above

I don’t know what it’s like to shed a tear for all those I love

I know what it’s like to be at the bottom of despair

I know what it’s like to feel His hand there

I know what’s it like to be forgiven

I know what it’s like to be still and listen

I know what it’s like to feel His touch and my heart leap in my chest

I know when I move on from this life in His home I won’t be a guest

I know what it’s like to experience His grace

I don’t know what I will do when I actually see His face

I know what it’s like to look the devil in the eye

I know what it’s like to thank God I am still alive

Do You Know by Tonic –

Life Ain’t Always Beautiful by Gary Allan –

Good To Be Alive Today by Michael Franti –

Beautiful Life by Seventh Time Down –

Awful Beautiful Life by Darryl Worley –

Good To Be Alive by Andy Grammer –

Good To Be Alive by Jason Gray –

Good To Be Alive by Meghan Trainor –

Good To Be Alive by Skillet –

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/struggle/”>Struggle</a>

New, Forgotten, Unknown 6/10/16 New Music Friday

On June 10, 2016June 10, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, new music, new music Friday1 Comment

Three new musician followers this week. Take a listen, might find someone new that you really like their music. Please feel free to share/purchase the song I wrote the lyrics to, Lily Messer is the voice and Ceylon Wise is the producer. I have many more songs I would like to get out there but can not financially afford to record them. If interested in teaming up together, feel free to contact me.

Fireflies by April Kry –

Self Centered by Austin Hafner –

Pure Heart by John Blackwell –

Thanks for all the follows, musicians and non-musicians.

One Hell Of A Song by Mike Posner –

Oh Lord by NF –

Senior Year by Randy Houser –

These Times Are Changing by The Struts –

Statistic by Take 6 –

That’s What The Cross Is For by The Taylors –

Precious Memories by Wade Bowen –

I Don’t Have The Answers by We Are The Messengers –

On My Way by The Wild Feathers –

Panic by 1 Girl Nation –

Waking Up by Parachute –

Alive & Well by Musiq Soulchild –

All Cried Out by Craig Morgan –

All In by The Summer Set –

Always On Time by Tim Bowman –

and our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

On Itunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

Pen To Paper

On June 9, 2016June 9, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, poems, Writing6 Comments

I start to put my pen to paper

Before a word gets out I start to waiver

What if the darkness is too much for them to bear?

What if their reaction is they just don’t care?

No one will care, that’s what one voice shouts

No one cares what you are all about

Can I really let all the words go?

No, no, I can never let them know

I crumple it up and toss it away

Who really wants to hear what I have to say?

I will let the words vanish before I put pen to paper

Do they really want to hear my dreams?

Are they as impossible to reach as they seem?

I see the stars so far out of my reach

What words to toss, which to keep?

So many doubts controlling my thoughts

If I wrote a book would one copy be bought?

Throwing away more words in the trash

How long will I’m not good enough last?

How will my words make them feel?

Before I let the words become real

I will let the words vanish before I put pen to paper

I guess these words are coming from somewhere

Should I waste them by throwing them over there?

Here comes the truth, even though it may hurt

The voices in my head sometimes sound like a concert

One telling me this, one telling me that

One telling me to move forward, the other to go back

Twisted thoughts do battle with words of hope

Letting them all out is the only way I can cope

I look to God for a little inspiration

A few words of His He gives me as a donation

I will let the words… No, no, I will put pen to paper

Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets –

If I Could Just Get It On Paper by Jimmy Buffet –

Blank Sheet Of Paper by Tim McGraw –

In This Diary by The Ataris –

Pen To Paper by Jay Clark –

Pen To Paper by Kevin Skies –

Why Not Mine?

On June 7, 2016June 7, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Don't quit, Keep trying, music, poems11 Comments

In a world with so many good poems, stories and songs

Why would I ever think any of mine would find a home?

I’ve been rejected every time I tried

With each no, a little piece of me died

I wasn’t born to stop, wasn’t born to quit

These words in my head come out like this

I’ll put pen to paper and try another tune

Maybe this one will make it to the moon

Another no will probably come my way

All I know is tomorrow is a new day

Maybe I’ll have to write a thousand more

Before the one that gets me to that open door

I try to be witty, clever and smart

The best ones come when I write from the heart

In a world filled with a million good poems and stories

Maybe this one will be remembered when they are in their forties

In a world filled with a million good songs

Maybe this one will be the one they sing a long

If not maybe it’ll be the next one to pop out of my head

Maybe I’ll be like Bach , be more popular when I’m dead.

Born To Try by Delta Goodrem –

Try by Hayden Panettiere –

Trying To Matter by Gary Allan –

Die Trying by Art of Dying –

God Didn’t Give Up by Deitrick Haddon –

I’ll Die Tryin by Lonestar –

Fix You by Coldplay –

Rodney The Raccoon – Inside The Mask

On June 6, 2016June 6, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Get to know someone, Look inside someone, music13 Comments

20160531_101118

(image credit: Mari Jones from Journey of a Million Miles)

“Oh, hello there. My name is Rodney. It’s nice to see you. I don’t get many visitors. Most people see the mask and think I am bad. I must tell you, I am not! At least most of the time. I am honest if nothing else. My mom always told me honesty is the best policy.”

“Come on down and have a sit. I don’t have rabies or anything. My uncle Phil had rabies but he is long gone. Only one in the family to get rabies but everyone usually thinks we are all rabid. It’s like your family. I bet you have one bad apple in that tree. Does everyone think you are bad because of them?”

“Let me tell you something else. We eat a lot of different things from pesky insects and small rodents to fruits and nuts. Yes, that was me in your trash can the other day but I could not find any other food. I had to feed my family. Sometimes you got to do what you got to do. You know how many of your kind I have seen trying to find food in trash cans. It’s sad if you ask me. I mean me, I’m an animal and I don’t have anyone looking after me except maybe my near family. Your kind though, you throw away about half the food you eat. I see it in your trash cans and land fills. Shouldn’t you be helping others of your kind out instead of throwing it away? How about buying less so there is less to throw away and using that extra money to give to a food bank or something? I once helped a deer out. Not typical for me but I just could not eat anymore berries so instead of tossing them to the ground, I gave them to the deer. Next time you see that homeless guy, look past what you see and feel what’s in his heart. You won’t miss that dollar or that sandwich you give him. Maybe even your heart will grow three sizes that day if you did.”

“The mask? What’s up with the mask you ask? Take a look around you, everyone wears a mask. Some you just see easier than others. My mask is for me to be able to see better at night. Look at that person over there? Do you think her mask is to protect her from her past? She would love to take off her mask, get rid of her past mistakes but she is too scared to take it off. You don’t see a mask? Trust me, it’s there. Look at that guy. Do you think his mask protects him ? He looks like he is big and tough and can take on the world but inside he is hurting, he is begging to be loved, he is a big softy but no one will ever see that. That little girl over there? Yes, another mask. She tries to put a smile on and be happy but I see her eyes. Her pain. She gets yelled at everyday. Her parents fight all the time. She doesn’t think she is worth anything. That’s sad to see a mask on someone so young. I think you humans can do better. Take off the mask. Like my mom always said, honesty is the best policy. It will release so much stress and hurt.”

“What? You thought I was an animal to stay away from? Why? Because of my mask and the rings on my tail. Really? Take a look around you. Do you stay away from everyone that looks scary? The guy with all the tattoos? He is the nicest guy I ever met. The black man over there gave me his leftover food one day. I took that right home to my kids. They were so thankful. The white guy over there killed a snake one day and brought it over near my home. I eat anything. Dead carcasses are sometimes my favorite. The Asian guy over there came right up to me one day, just like you did today, and just started talking. I sat there and listened. The Muslim lady over there wept with me one day when my youngest baby was hit by a car. I don’t discriminate. I need all of you to survive. Sometimes I help you, sometimes you help me. That’s the way it should be. ”

“It doesn’t matter who you are. I will come up to you. That scares most people who only see my mask. Do you know I have a friend names Jesus who was the same way? He talked to everyone, and there were people who were afraid of Him. He only wanted to teach people about His father and the love He has for all of us and how we should treat others. Yet, people were afraid of Him and had Him crucified. He died for all of us. That includes you. Isn’t that awezing?”

“What? That’s not what you are taught. That’s a shame my friend. A real shame. I can call you friend, right? That’s what you are to me. I think you should take my words to heart. Go out and look at what’s inside a person. Get to know them. Get past the masks and the colors. You might be surprised what you find.”

“Have an awezing day my friend. What’s that? You don’t know what awezing is? Oh, that’s a word I made up combining awesome and amazing. See, never know what you will find once you get to know someone.”