Seasons Change And So Have We

When I see no leaves on the trees

I choose to remember when they were green

When I see skies that are dark and gray

I choose to remember the sunny days

When I see the ground lifeless and brown

I choose to remember when our love was found

When I’m cold and alone in this room

I choose to remember flowers will soon bloom

There’s an old song about when a heart breaks it don’t break even

And I’m sorry Journey but I have stopped believin’

I know acceptance is a powerful thing

And it hurts but I know the birds will soon sing

I accept you can’t love me like I want or need

And my love will never be good enough I’ve come to see

And I know it’s okay to not be okay

Not forever, but to feel the hurt today

I hope you know that not being with you was never in my plans

I’ll always be grateful for our time together because I’m a better, stronger man

You’ve made your choices and even though it’s taken me awhile

I accept there’s no more reason to fight but only time to smile

Because I’ll choose where my life will lead

And I thank you that once upon a time you loved me

And here soon when we will no longer be a we

I will choose to only remember the good memories

The Last Time by The Script-

Weren’t The One by Eddie and The Gateway –

What I get For Loving You by Seaforth –

Giving You Up by Kameron Marlowe –

Forever Or The End by Skillet –

God Is In This Story by Katy Nichole and Big Daddy Weave –

The Story’s Not Over by Jeremy Camp –

Peace by Danny Gokey –

I Didn’t Know How To Ask For Help

You should’ve known I quit fighting

When I was no longer writing

Too wrapped up in yourself

To see I needed help

I get it, I really do

Wanting people to like you

All smiles and good times

Hard to admit you aren’t fine

But I know you are just like me

Not wanting the world to see

How much you’re hurting

How bad you are searching

Trying to find something to believe in

Wishing you had one, just one friend

That could see through all the lies

That tried to find all things you tried to hide

Believe me I can see the irony

Because that could’ve been me

But l, like you, was too wrapped up in my own screen

To look up and reach out to tell you how much you mean to me

But in the end I guess you are just a little stronger

And you’ve been able to fight a little longer

But for me, well this was my last night

The darkness claimed victory over the light

And maybe I shouldn’t have smiled through the pain

And maybe I shouldn’t have hidden these thoughts in my brain

Maybe you wouldn’t have thought I was going insane

And maybe you could’ve broke me free from these chains

But a lot of maybes I guess we’ll never know

I miss who I was not so long ago

I wish you could see these tears roll down my face

But man, there’s so many things I can’t erase

And I know sorry will never be enough

I wish, I wish I felt like I was loved

But you know, it’s not like anyone will miss me

When was the last time anyone even reached out to me?

I mean, you really had to know

I was taking blow after blow

And you had to know I got up each time a little slower

And you had to see I was holding my head a little lower

You had to see I smiled a whole lot less

I mean, I was a total freaking mess

Not even Instagram could hide my sadness

And my Tik Tok’s were borderline madness

Hey, I’ve even scheduled posts three months ahead

I might even be instafamous after I’m dead

At least for a day or two

Then it’ll again be all about you

I mean my writings went from hope and faith to despair

But not one person reached out to care

A pity party this is not

Like me, it’ll be so easily forgot

Like I said, I get it, you’ve got your own likes to get

But I hope , unlike me, you can live without regrets

You know, it wouldn’t hurt to get away from the screen

Be a good friend, a real relationship, one last piece of advice from me

And I know you are busy, got your own life to live

But man, I hope God really does forgive

Don’t get me wrong , it’s not all on you

These demons I have are a wicked crew

Maybe I should’ve told you all this before tonight

But it really wasn’t until a minute ago I gave up the fight

I always felt like I’d have more time

But sometimes you are out of rhymes

I wish I never felt the things that I have felt

But I feel like I didn’t know how to ask for help

(In case anyone thinks this is a goodbye note, it is not. I am still here but these thoughts are in my head. We all know someone who is hurting but we are afraid to reach out and dig deep and make that connection. Challenge this weekend is to put your phones down, go knock on a neighbor’s door and ask them how they are doing. Buy a pizza and sit down together and talk. Who knows, you might just save a life.)

You Will Be Found by Ben Platt –

A Place Called Earth by Jon Foreman/ Lauren Daigle –

Up There Down Here by Zach Williams –

People Need People by Michael Franti –

People Need People by Maddie & Tae –

These Are Just A Few Of The Things That Are Messed Up On My Street

We have cats that bark and dogs that meow

We have wolves that roar and lions that howl

We have tigers that eat veggies and giraffes that eat meat

These are just a few of the things that are messed up on my street

We have newborns who talk and adults who don’t

We have things to be done but we know to be done they won’t

We have teenagers that are mature and parents that are not

We have commitments that are made and then conveniently forgot

We have neighbors that are alive and some that are dead

We have some planning a future and some with ghosts in their heads

We have turtles that are fast and rabbits that are slow

We have rivers that are dry and farm fields that won’t grow

We have hate that is rampant and we have love trying to find a way

We have marriages holding on tight and some destroyed by one choice made

We have people being shot and people being healed

We have truths being told and lies being concealed

We have some that live free and others that live in fear

We have some that have given up and some that believe hope still lives here

Then there is me who wants to be happy but is quite sad

I will share with you some of the questions I have

Can you love someone but no longer want to be with them?

Can you not go to church but still pray to God amen?

Would a chicken ever eat an egg and can a bee sting another bee?

Do these words make any sense to anyone but me?

If anything is possible doesn’t that mean anything could be impossible?

Which would also mean anything that is probable could still be improbable

If you expect the unexpected doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?

If I only talk to people via text and social media, am I really connected?

If my life is better in my dreams is it possible my life is really a dream?

Sometimes I wonder what’s the point if I am me and this is all that will ever be

Does a fish or shark or whale ever get dehydrated?

If you caused the issue then why, at me, are you so frustrated?

What’s the least important thing that’s the most important thing to you right now?

I apologize, as usual, these voices in my head have gotten sidetracked somehow

Is it committing murder if I kill these voices inside of me?

Social media shows every one is happy but I know not all is as it seems

If a toddler refuses to take a nap does that mean it’s resisting a rest?

Life, please give me some answers because I’m failing your test

How many times can a heart break before it breaks forever?

How many times can you say you won’t do the thing you did? I will never….

How many chapters of our life should I read before I close it and make my own ending?

Because, if we must honestly admit, we both know we are only pretending

God please help me, I think I’m going insane

Guess I better mow the grass before it starts to rain

Wait, I thought of something that doesn’t make sense

If I give you a penny for your thoughts then why are your thoughts worth two cents?

If, as a child, you’re told not to take candy from strangers then why is there Halloween?

If rabbits don’t lay eggs then where does the Easter Bunny get all the eggs it delivers to you and me?

I know, I know, I should really wrap this up

But can you answer this, does it exist, it being love

I know I’m unique, broken, hopeful, confused, a little crazy but is there anyone else like me?

These are just a few of the things I think about when I think about the things that are messed up on my street

Odd Man Out by Clayton Jones-

Things I Wish I Would’ve Said by Katy Nichole-

Who You Thought I Was by Brandy Clark-

Memories by Conan Gray-

Word That Don’t Exist by Citizen Soldier-

Won’t Know How To End This Conversation

I won’t know how to end this conversation

If we find ourselves in an impossible situation

So I don’t think I’m going to start

Won’t write our names in a heart

Not going to walk up and shyly grin

Ask you where you’ve always been

Say by the way hello my name is

Not going to slowly lean in to kiss

“Isn’t that what love is? Being scared, then being brave, because of that one person?”

Not going to wrap my fingers in yours

Won’t wonder who I ever was before

Not going to have a hard time falling asleep

Wishing you were there beside me

Not going to wake up in the morning

With butterflies in my stomach turning

Not going to get on one knee and ask you to be my wife

Because if I did I know I’d fall apart if you left my life

Not going to ask you out on a first date

Not going to think you are great

Don’t want you to look at me, smile at me like that

Not going to buy that house with a welcome door mat

Not going to smile when I see your name on my phone

Or think I’m the luckiest guy when we bring our baby home

No, when I think about all the firsts I’m going to miss

The one that’ll be the worst is this

The day or night I smile at you and walk on by

Not saying hello because I won’t know how to say goodbye

Try Losing One by Tyler Braden –

The Way You Loved Me by Calum Scott-

Anna Begins by Counting Crows-

Rock And A Hard Place by Bailey Zimmerman –

Love Songs Ain’t For Us by Amy Shark –

Middle Of A Memory by Cole Swindell –

Growing Up (Still Have More Growing Up To Do)

I was the shy one growing up

Always wondering why I wasn’t good enough

Didn’t feel loved by my daddy

I always felt like the black sheep

Dad would pop another beer

I’d stand in the corner in fear

He never yelled or raised a hand

But I was ignored and couldn’t understand

Why I was invisible to him

When I was growing up

I never felt a man’s love

Then I got pretty, no longer a child

Boys noticed me when I smiled

I let them do what they wanted

Childhood excuses left me haunted

I went from one bed to another

Leaving a family without a mother

Sometimes I think being noticed by a man

Is worse than being ignored , can you understand?

I wish I was invisible again

All I wanted when I was growing up

Was for a man to show me love

But I don’t think I know what love is

Because what I do is so selfish

A princess without a crown

I’ve let a good man down

And I swear I’m trying to learn

How to accept real love and give it in return

But I feel as if it’s too late

He looks at me with so much hate

And he’s the only one to show me the love

I wish I had when I was growing up

Grape Soda And Bazooka Bubble Gum

Back when I was young

Not a care in the summer sun

We’d come home when it was dark

And our phones weren’t so smart

We’d have fun even if we lost

And we bowed our heads to the cross

We stood and put our hands over our hearts

When the National Anthem would start

I remember my first game with my first baseball glove

After every game I’d have a grape soda and Bazooka bubble gum

Don’t know how we survived without central ac

Or how I never broke a bone climbing the tallest tree

We never let a girl walk home alone

And there weren’t cuss words in a song

When saying I love you meant something

And it meant something when you had a wedding ring

And when you could count on your friends

And sometimes I wish I could be young again

When I didn’t have so many things to overcome

I sure miss grape soda and Bazooka bubble gum

Enough Hurt For Today

I do not understand this world we live in, why someone has to take a gun to a school or a mall or a job and shoot innocent people. Sometimes you just want to crawl into a corner and cry. Do whatever you have to do to take that mental health break. Take a moment, take a breath, take a step forward.

We’ve been hurting for so long

But we keep singing the same song

And maybe I’m wrong

I’m done watching the news

I’m going to turn off the tv

Take some time for me

I’m not going to apologize

For not listening to the lies

Putting it all in a box

Praying it will all stop

Cause there’s been enough hurt for today

Not much else for me to say

I know it’s not going to go away

Maybe it’s only a delay

Finding some alone time to pray

Cause there’s been enough hurt for today

Not going to think about tomorrow

All the hate, all the sorrow

I know there’s more for me to know

Not going to think about the shootings

The virus, the death, the violence, the looting

Need a win, tired of the losing

Going to think about something else

May be selfish, but need to heal myself

Been living too long in the dark

Need a cure for my broken heart

Cause there’s been enough hurt for today

Not much else for me to say

I know it’s not going to go away

Maybe it’s only a delay

Finding some alone time to pray

Cause there’s been enough hurt for today

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to  bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship  today.” —Thich Nhat Hanh |

Maybe I’m only hitting pause

Hoping we’re not a lost cause

We are all broken , yet chosen

Praying we can get through this moment

Cause there’s been enough hurt for today

Not much else for me to say

I know it’s not going to go away

Maybe it’s only a delay

Finding some alone time to pray

Cause there’s been enough hurt for today

Hope for a better tomorro... | Quotes & Writings by Olufunke Kolapo |  YourQuote

Good Day by Apollo LTD –

Gospel Song by Rhett Walker –

Fires by Jordan St. Cyr –

We All Need Jesus by Danny Gokey & Koryn Hawthorne –

One More Star

When I was just a boy of eight

I’d often stay up way too late

I’d look up into the dark night

And wish upon every star in sight

What were my many wishes I wished back then?

Maybe for more toys or maybe for more friends

But then time passed and I grew up

And I quit believing in that stuff

Wishing stars, lucky pennies and wishing wells

All those magical things became a hard sell

Wishing on a light from the past

No wonder wishes never last

Then I got a little older only thought of myself

I was number one and didn’t need any help

Didn’t really believe in love

Really wasn’t sure there was a God

But still I prayed for something to believe in

Searching for a truth that wasn’t deceivin’

Then I got a little older started to realize

That most people believe their own lies

But I believed in you, I believed in us

Now I know why I don’t believe in love

And I wonder how did we end up here

When the laughs were replaced by tears

Hard to move forward when we’ve been here before

And my forever was different from yours

When I think back on all the wishes of my youth

I feel as if there’s only one cold hard truth

I must’ve wished on every star near and far

‘Cause now you’re gone I’m wishing I had one more star

Forever Or The End by Skillet-

Here’s To Moving On by Dashboard Confessional-

Rose Tinted Glasses by James TW-

Say Goodbye by Citizen Soldier –

Shouldn’t Matter But It Does by John Mayer –

When Was It Over by Sasha Alex Sloan and Sam Hunt –

When I Learned How To Not Love You, I Learned To Love Myself

When I learned how to not love you

I learned how to love myself

When I learned a prison doesn’t have to have bars

I realized I was free to fly to the stars

When I learned the rules of the game

I realized it was a game I didn’t have to play

When I learned that I was strong

I realized I’d be okay on my own

When I learned to laugh in the face of adversity

I realized my circumstances do not control me

When I learned my feelings could not be ignored

I realized I was made for so much more

When I learned I no longer needed you

I realized what I needed to do

When I learned years of love can be thrown away for a day of fun

I realized that our hopes and dreams were done

When I learned I still had hopes and dreams

I realized things weren’t as bad as they seem

When I leaned to give God complete control

I realized he could make my broken pieces whole

When I learned it was okay to cry

I realized it was time to say goodbye

When I learned how to not love you

I realized I always had the power to choose

When I learned how to love myself

I realized I did not belong in hell

Christmas Stockings

The Christmas stockings were hung with care

Some were extraordinarily beautiful, others ordinarily fair

Some were hung by the chimney

Others were hung on the tree

Some were made with bright colors

While others must’ve been bought for a dollar

Some had lights that shined so bright

Others even glowed in the dark of night

Some had glitter that sparkled from time to time

None of these comes close to describing mine

On my wife’s she had written a bible verse

One of my daughters had Santa on hers

Another daughter made hers with good cheer

While another finished hers by writing the year

When we were all done we were quite pleased

Then we joined hands and prayed for the least of these

But back to the stockings galore

There’s so much to say, so much more

Some had to be at least three feet long

When those are filled, I hope the nail is strong

Some are just a little bigger than my foot

For mine, I gave Santa a list, in case he needed my input

Some are made with love, paint, and glue

Some are quite fantastic while others have a mistake or two

Some were stitched and crocheted with extreme care

Others looked like they came out of the drawer by your underwear

Some had stickers of Santa and Rudolph and such

Others had just a name, but that was enough

On that Christmas morning, I learned a thing or two

From these Christmas stockings and I’d like to share with you

It doesn’t matter what the outside is

Because there is one thing I know and it’s this

It doesn’t matter what’s on the outside

Because the outside is just a brilliant disguise

What matters the most the outside tries to hide

What really matters is what’s on the inside

Image result for bible verses on whats on the inside