Why Not Me?

Image result for children cancer

You look at me with tears in your eyes

Begging, pleading, asking God why?

You say I am too young

Too much life left to be done

High school graduation, jobs, marriage, children

Heroes and villains and all that will remain hidden

I am telling you it’s okay

I smile and simply say

Why not me?

Maybe it has to be

If it’s God’s plan and it’s my time

Then in His hands I will be fine

A plan

We can’t understand

A better lesson learned

A life being returned

My heart given to someone new

My kidneys will be donated too

My lungs will help someone breathe

Parts of me will continue to be

Maybe a foundation in my name

Will raise enough to change the game

In the meantime don’t be sad

Remember the time we have had

A lifetime wrapped up in just a few short years

When you cry let them be joyful tears

Things happen that only He can see

So I ask again, why not me?

Why should it be yourself

Or even someone else?

I am strong, brave, and courageous, can’t you see?

That is why I say why not me?

I trust in God’s plan so I don’t ask why me?

Let your smile be the last thing I see

Related image

If you would like to help, there are many foundations to donate. Here are a few:

http://www.championforchildren.org/portfolio-item/lindseys-wish/

https://www.sambishfoundation.org/

Image result for children cancer

Little Giants by Tay Barton – 

Sing Me To Heaven by Bradley Walker – 

Kola by Damien Jurado – 

Braid My Hair by Randy Owen –  

Thy Will by Hillary Scott –   

No One Fights Alone by Christian Spear – 

Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood – 

I’m Gonna Love You Through It by Martina McBride –  

Dear God (A Prayer From Hell) 

~"Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee."-Psalm 139:12:

 

Dear God, I am not sure how to do this because I have never done it before, as you probably know. I will make this short because I know I don’t have much time. If Satan finds me on my knees praying to you I will be sent to the next circle of hell. I don’t know if you hear prayers from hell but here I am on my knees.

I know the way I lived my life was my choice. I know I lived for me and me only. I know I didn’t love like I should’ve. I know I didn’t give like I could’ve.  It was all about looking out for number one, me.

I know I had many people who tried to tell me about you and that I didn’t listen. I didn’t need you. My life was going exactly the way I wanted it to. Well, looking back, maybe not so much. I did have the job I wanted, all the money I could ever spend and the biggest house in the richest neighborhood.  I was also divorced four times. I ran through women like a kid runs through a candy store. Speaking of kids, I had three. Well, I still have three but they quit talking to me a long time ago.

I didn’t believe in you. I didn’t believe in hell either but here I am. I guess what I am asking for is another chance. You know maybe you and the devil can do a role reversal of Job.  You let the devil test Job to prove his heart was true to you.  Maybe you can make a deal with the devil to let you test me to see if I will stay true to the devil.

This is no place to be. Maybe you could just ask the devil to let me come back for a month, a week, even just an hour. Just enough time for me to tell people that I now know the truth. I know a lot of people that are heading here if they don’t change.  I know I squandered my opportunity when I was alive but I pray that you can give me one more chance to change.

One more chance to learn more about you. One more chance to live my life for you and not for me. One more chance for me to love and not hate. One more chance for me to give and not take.  One more chance to save someone’s life. One more chance to show my kids how much they truly mean to me. One more chance for me to say I am sorry.

God, I pray that somehow, some way you can give me a miracle. I know I don’t deserve it but I know you are the God of second chances.

Thank you for listening. I pray that you can hear my prayer from hell.

 

It doesn’t matter where your hell is, it could be right in your own home. Only God can get you out of it. Whatever hell you are in there is nothing you have done or no place you can go that God can’t reach you.

Image result for psalm 139 8

Out Of Hell by Skillet – 

Prayers For The Damned by Sixx A.M. – 

My Hell by Disciple – 

Hell And Back by Tonight Alive – 

Hell or Heaven by Lynyrd Skynyrd – 

If You’re Going Through Hell by Rodney Atkins – 

Out Of Hell by In This Moment – 

Running Through Hell Motivational – 

Pray by Sanctus Real – 

Pray by Manafest – 

Sinner’s Prayer by Deitrick Haddon – 

 

The Last Leaf

Image result for last leaf on a tree
painting by John Edwards

 

I watched her clinging to life. The last leaf on the tree.  I didn’t know if I should feel sad for her or if I should admire her.

Should I feel sad for her? I mean, she is the last leaf. All the other leaves are gone. Her husband, her kids, her close friends, her distant relatives. All of them were gone. Why was she still clinging to life?  Why would she want to hang on?

It was then that I thought I should admire her.  She was strong. She had more to say. Yes, she longed to be with her friends and family but she wasn’t done with this life yet.

She gave me hope.  She gave me a reason to continue. The cold winds blew, she held on.  The rains came, she held on. The snow came, she held on. I knew if she could do it that I could do it too. There wasn’t anything that could take me down. I had a story to tell. I had a reason to hold on.

Every day I looked at that leaf. I wondered how she could do it. Some days were worse than others.  At least that’s how I felt. I swear that she smiled at me. Even in the worst conditions I felt like she was smiling. I wondered what she was up to. I wondered what did she know that I didn’t know.  Where did she find her joy?

Winter faded to spring. The warmer weather brought the green buds to life. The leaf held on. The new leaves overtook the tree.  I had to look hard to find her but she was still there.

Then one day she was gone. I saw her on the ground.  I imagined she stayed long enough to teach the new leaves what she knew. I could see her looking around with a smile on her face. I could see her saying it’s okay. I could see her saying it is now my time and then letting go of the branch.

Image result for one leaf on the ground

I had to pick her up and take her home. I put her in my scrapbook along with the picture of my grandma. She reminded me a lot of my grandma.  Tenacious, stubborn, lived longer than most of the people she knew, and she passed down her words of wisdom. She passed down her Bible, with all her underlined and highlighted passages. Words that spoke to her.

I know it may be silly, since she was just a leaf, but she taught me a lot. She helped me to remember a lot. She helped me to be thankful for what I have. She taught me to cling to life.  It is precious.

I am thankful for that leaf. I am thankful for my grandmas and grandpas. I am thankful for my parents. I am thankful for my teachers. I am thankful for all the military. I am thankful for all those that have come before me, that have paved the way for me.  The ones who gave me words of wisdom and taught me lessons. The ones that encouraged me, that gave me life, that gave my dreams life. To all of you I say thank you.

Image result for the fall of freddie the leaf
If you have not read this book, I highly recommend it.

Image result for 1 timothy 5:1-3

In The Time That You Gave Me by Bradley Walker feat Joey Feek – 

My Last Breath Here (Joey’s Song) by JK Nick Nichols – 

Tears Of Joy by Phil Wickham – 

See You There by Joey Feek – 

To Say Goodbye by Joey & Rory – 

Live On by Olivia Newton John – 

After You’re Gone by Iris Dement – 

Love, Me by Collin Raye – 

Sing Me To Heaven by Bradley Walker – 

The Last Leaf by Blackmore’s Night – 

Last Leaf by Tom Waits – 

Last Leaf by Ok Go – 

Last Leaf On The Tree poem spoken by Dr. James Dobson – 

 

Your Choice

When I first started this I was thinking it would be about old friends or old relationship,  like Adele’s Someone Like You song.   Then I heard RaeLynn’s Love Triangle and it went a different direction. Hope you like. Dads, be there for you kids, no matter what. They need you in their life.  The statistics of how children turn out without a father in their lives are not good. Be there. Be thankful for them. Love them.  Be thankful for forgiveness. One of the most important things you can do as a dad is to love their mom. Show them what a real man and a real father and a real stick it out, work it out relationship should look like.

 

When I left it wasn’t your choice

It must be strange to hear my voice

After all these years

After you cried a million tears

“I’m sorry I was wrong.”

“I should never have left you for so long.”

“I’m sorry I decided to leave.”

“I know that must be hard for you to believe.”

“I felt like there was no other way.”

“When I packed my bags and left that day.”

“Your mom has raised you well.”

“You’re beautiful inside and out I can tell.”

I could also tell I had scarred her

Her first question, “Why didn’t you try harder?”

“Wasn’t I worth trying?”

“Do you know how many nights I spent crying?”

“I promise daddy, I could’ve been better!”

“Don’t you think I was worth one call, one letter?”

“I know you and mom had your troubles

But why did you keep me outside your bubble?”

“Do you know many nights  I yelled into my pillow at you?”

“Do you know how many days I wondered what did I do?”

I just stared at her, how could I cut her out of my life?

There was nothing I could say, she was right

She had so many questions that hurt me so

But nothing like the pain I caused her I know

I cried my first tear

I let go of all my fears

All the times I could’ve

All the times I should’ve

I let them all go, left the past in the past

Here she was in front of me at last

I asked, “Will you ever forgive me?”

“I did dad, a long time ago can’t you see?”

“I prayed for you!”

“I waited for you!”

“I did have so much anger and hate

But God taught me that love was the only way.”

“As hard as it was I slowly learned to forgive

So that I could learn to live.”

“I opened up the walls surrounding my heart.”

“Here I am dad, willing to give us another start!”

I lost it all, I crumbled in her arms

I promised her I would never again harm

If God could help us reunite

Then I knew I had to give Him my life

Thank you for mended relationships

Thank you God for fixing this

Never again will something come in between

I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she means

Love Triangle by Raelynn-  

Perfect Story by Idina Menzel – 

Every Other Weekend by Kenny Chesney and Reba McEntire- 

Two Houses by Matthew West – 

Family by TobyMac – 

Hey Mom and Dad by Sloppy – 

Song For My Father by Sarah McLachlan – 

Forgiveness by Matthew West – 

Forgiveness by TobyMac feat LeCrae – 

Forgiveness Is A Miracle by Jason Gray – 

My Name Is Legend

Image result for ordinary people fighting demons

My name is Legend. I am a warrior. I fight the demons of this world. I fight your demons. Ones you never saw attacking you, ones that you fight each day. I stand with you.

 

I have to admit one thing that tears at the very depth of all that I am is loving my enemies. The same enemies I fight every day. I pray they will change. I pray they will find love instead of hate. The devil has them in a stranglehold.  Another dies as their blood drips from the end of my sword. As their lifeless body lays at my feet I pray for them. I do not gloat or take pride in what I have done. It pains me greatly. It scars me more on the inside than the scars visible to you.

I have a confession to make. I am tired. More than that, I am worn out. Darkness is everywhere. I am only one man. I only have so much fight in me. I have more scars than freckles. I am on my knees begging God for help. Send me help God! Help me get off my knees and pick up my sword to fight again. 

God’s answer was to go to His people. Here is my plea:

As I mentioned before, I am worn out. Yet, I pick myself up, grab my sword and head into the night to fight another battle.  I fight your battles. It’s time for you to stand up. As I have prayed to God, I will ask of you the same.  I need help. I need your help!

Image result for deuteronomy 20 1Image result for 2 samuel 10 12

Make no mistake the devil knows your name. He keeps track of all the demons you let in. He knows when to send more. You have to put on your armor and  you have draw you sword. Even then the devil will not stop. You have to be tenacious. You have to never give up.

The devil tells you to yell at your husband for forgetting to go to the store on his way home from work. Knock that demon on his butt and smile at your husband, be thankful he arrived home safe.

The devil tempts you with that new attractive coworker who is flirting with you. Take your sword and cut that demon in half.  Look at that picture of you spouse and children on your desk. Be thankful for your family.

The devil tells you to yell at your child for spilling her milk at the dinner table. Destroy that demon with kind words and forgiveness. It take only a few seconds to clean up the milk, harsh words will be remembered forever. Be thankful you have a child. Many want one who can’t have one. Look in her eyes and tell her it’s okay. Tell her how much you love her.

These are just a few examples where you can help me. These are what I call the front line demons.  The little ones that try to ruin your life. The little ones that open the doors to the big ones. The generals, the lieutenants, the corporals.  You can not give in to them. You can not give in to the addictions, the temptations, the struggles that will rip your life to pieces. The ones that once they sink their teeth in are hard to defeat.

Image result for ordinary people fighting demons

To paraphrase John F. Kennedy ask not what God can do for you but what can you do for God. Ask not what people can do for you, ask what can you do for people. You can help me, you can help others fight the demons. Will you be God’s light in this dark world. Will you fight with me? Will you help me destroy these demons that attack you and other people?

I will fight them with you. I will stand by your side, sword drawn, ready to attack. Are you with me?

Tonight, as you get ready to sleep, drop to your knees and thank God for getting you through another day. Thank God for helping you defeat some demons today. Look deep into your heart and tell God everything you are thankful for. Then I want you to raise your head, lift your hands to God and let God hold your hands for this next thing. I then want you to look the devil in the eye and tell him to leave your life.  He has no place in your life. I want you to say devil, do you not know who I am?  I am a child of God. My name is —— and I am a warrior.

I am worn out but I will not quit. I see a light at the end of the darkness.  I see hope. I see you. I see you picking up your sword. I see the demons on the ground, laying at your feet. I see me on your left. I see God on your right. We will win this fight!

My name is Legend. I am a warrior. I have renewed strength. I will never give up fighting the darkness of this world.

Image result for psalm 18 39

Psalms 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.

Image result for gods army

Legends by The Afters – 

Centuries by Fall Out Boy – 

Warrior by Steven Curtis Chapman – 

Warriors by Papa Roach – 

Run Devil Run by Crowder – 

Live Like Legends by Ruelle – 

Strength by Jonathan and Melissa Helser – 

Move by TobyMac – 

Battles by The Afters – 

Live Like A Warrior by Matisyahu – 

The Lord Is A Warrior by Matt Papa – 

I Loved Our Time Together (When You Were On A Sedative)

 

Trying to be funny but…my sense of humor can be warped at times.

 

I loved our time together when you were on a sedative

In the moment was all we had to live

No hurts, no regrets, the past was the past

It had been ages since we laughed like that

Even though the doctor was two and a half hours late

I can honestly say I didn’t mind the wait

No kids, no outside pulls, no tv

Just you and me ( and that constant beep)

We made jokes the entire time

Reminded me of when you were first mine

Before life got in the way

But we can start anew today

It was good to hear you laugh

If you did now it would tear you in half

You will heal and so will we

Marriage definitely is not easy

I can’t wait until my knee is done

So we can have some more fun

And love our time together when I am on a sedative

img_2313

When You’re With Me by The Afters – 

Let It Be Tonight by Rick Astley- 

Love You All The Way by Sean McNeill – 

In Love Again by Colbie Caillat – 

God Only Knows by Michael Buble – 

A Dallas Home Game In Cleveland

img_2314

My favorite NFL team since I was little has always been the Dallas Cowboys. I don’t know why since I am from Ohio and no one I knew liked them. I have brainwashed my daughter into them being her favorite team also.

We went to Cleveland to see them play November 6th.  It was a good daddy-daughter day.  There were so many Dallas fans walking to the stadium that it felt like we were in Dallas. I would have to say it was at least 1/2, if not more filled with Cowboys fans inside. It was also 60 degrees. Something to be thankful for in November in Cleveland.

img_2316

At one point in the 3rd quarter the crowd was chanting Let’s Go Cowboys and it was loud. A lot of Browns fans were leaving by this point.

Kylie got to see her favorite players, Jason Witten and Zeke, score touchdowns. She likes Dak but her favorite player is Tony Romo and he still was not able to play this week.

imag0346
Jason Witten and Tony Romo

 

Yes they were playing Cleveland but the Cowboys were very impressive.  Zeke, Dak, Witten and the defense ruled the day.  If you haven’t heard the Cowboys won 35-10.

img_2415

Here are some more pics.

img_2328

img_2344

imag0334

img_2403

img_2431

img_2424

imag0366

Today by Brad Paisley – 

It’s A Good Day by Hilary Weeks –