I was a happy child. I was always smiling, always laughing. I was healthy. I ate good and exercised. I had a few close friends.
However, my best friend was my shadow. He went with me everywhere I went. He played the same games I played. He liked the same animals I liked. We were inseparable. Even when I went to bed at night, he was tucked in right beside me. When the lights went out, I would not worry because I knew he would be there in the morning when I woke up.
We would then start the day again. My shadow always right beside me. I would laugh and smile. We would eat together, play together, and at night we would sleep together. Through the years that would never change.
Until one morning I woke up and it did change. My shadow was gone.
I looked for him everywhere. In the glow of the kitchen light at breakfast, outside at the brightest time of day, and at night with my bedside lamp, but he was nowhere to be found.
I became dark. My smile went away. I no longer laughed. I no longer wanted to play or talk to anyone, even my parents. I wanted to stay in my room all day and all night.
I wasn’t happy. Why would my shadow leave me? There was no explanation that I could find. I woke up one morning and everything had changed. I tried to snap out of it but couldn’t. My parents tried. Nothing worked.
I even quit looking for my shadow.
I lashed out at everyone. Just leave me alone. The darkness would not go away. I hated the person I had become. I felt like a prisoner, trapped in my own mind. I thought things I could not believe I was thinking. I felt like hurting myself, hurting others. I quit doing my schoolwork and I was getting into trouble at school.
Then one day, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw my shadow. It was only a glimpse, a split second, and I could’ve been wrong, but a hope came over me. A hope I clinged to. And as I started to hope, the darkness started to leave me. And as the darkness started to leave me, I started seeing my shadow everywhere.
And as I started seeing my shadow everywhere, I started finding me everywhere.
The darkness did not win. I could smile again. I was me again.
I know not everyone can find their shadow, if you need someone to talk to reach out to
Remember the season is because of the birth of a child
It’s not the decorations or presents
Or all the parties and events
Here is an open invitation
To join in the celebration
No gifts to bring or trees to decorate
Whenever you are ready, we will wait
A genuine heart with love to give
I believe you are meant to live
Do not give up, Do not be dismayed
If you are having a string of bad days
There is a hope for a better tomorrow
One not promised without sorrow
One not promised without pain
One not promised without rain
One promised that you are never alone
One promised that you have a home
One promised that you are loved
One promised of HOPE, sealed by His blood
I can’t promise tomorrow will be better
I can promise you have a helper
Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up
Don’t give up when you’ve had enough
The night will fall and the sun will soon shine
Please, please give it some more time
Tomorrow is new
Perhaps a blessing for you
Tomorrow will soon be here
And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year
A baby boy was born in a manger
Don’t let him be a stranger
Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace
Tomorrow you will gladly embrace
I want you to know you are known
And that you aren’t alone
Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue
This is my Christmas prayer for you
Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:
Call 911.
Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!
Lots of songs but couldn’t decide to put suicide or hope or someone loves you song so put a mix of all them.
I currently live in a town called Despair. It’s not my permanent residence. I’ll stay here for awhile then move on to another town. A wandering soul but I always find my way back to Despair.
I choose to stay in Despair. By myself. Everyone else left but I stayed. The only things left are an old saloon, a hotel and a general store. Everything else is gone. The only visitors I have are the sins of my past. Visitors that I choose to live with.
I get used to the buildings. Some are crumbling down now but they are familiar. Some have paint chipping off the walls but I have come to know the patterns. A few doors are hanging off the hinges but I don’t mind.
I don’t see many visitors and when they do come, they don’t stay long. I have a way of running everyone off when they get close. Not that many people want to get close to me. I am a non-talker who is usually self-absorbed and selfish. There isn’t much time for other people when I am busy trying to keep this town in order.
I sat on an old broken bar stool and ordered a drink of faith but the bartender laughed at me. I was the bartender. There is no hope, no faith here. He gave me a shot of depression instead. Followed that with a chaser of anxiety. After a few more drinks of sadness, disappointment and fear and I wasn’t lonely anymore.
Behind the bartender was an old broken mirror that reflected what was left of my life. Broken, scarred, pieces of what was once a beautiful life. I destroyed that life and never looked back. Yet, it still reaches out to me saying here I am. You are never too far gone. You can have that life again. The man in the mirror laughs at me and tosses back another drink.
In a rage of anger, I grabbed the bottle and slammed it into the mirror. As the glass was shattering on the floor a stranger walked into the saloon.
He about scared me to death the way he looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like that before. There was no condemnation. There was no disappointment or disapproval. There was only love.
“Hello. Just wanted to let you know there is a road leading out of this town. It may be hard for you to find right now but it’s there. It leads to a town called Hope. You’ll pass through Trust, Faith, Joy, and Love along the way and you will want to spend some time in each of them. Keep on going until you reach Hope. You will see me again but I will always be with you as you travel. I have never left you nor will I ever leave you.
I stayed in Despair a little longer but his eyes kept reaching into my heart, into my soul. I looked around the town one last time and I said goodbye to the guilt and shame of my past mistakes. I said goodbye to the fear that was keeping me here.
Remember the season is because of the birth of a child
It’s not the decorations or presents
Or all the parties and events
Here is an open invitation
To join in the celebration
No gifts to bring or trees to decorate
Whenever you are ready, we will wait
A genuine heart with love to give
I believe you are meant to live
Do not give up, Do not be dismayed
If you are having a string of bad days
There is a hope for a better tomorrow
One not promised without sorrow
One not promised without pain
One not promised without rain
One promised that you are never alone
One promised that you have a home
One promised that you are loved
One promised of HOPE, sealed by His blood
I can’t promise tomorrow will be better
I can promise you have a helper
Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up
Don’t give up when you’ve had enough
The night will fall and the sun will soon shine
Please, please give it some more time
Tomorrow is new
Perhaps a blessing for you
Tomorrow will soon be here
And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year
A baby boy was born in a manger
Don’t let him be a stranger
Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace
Tomorrow you will gladly embrace
I want you to know you are known
And that you aren’t alone
Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue
This is my Christmas prayer for you
Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:
Call 911.
Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!
Lots of songs but couldn’t decide to put suicide or hope or someone loves you song so put a mix of all them.
My God, My Music, My Life 