The Darkest Things

Image result for when darkness comes

The darkest things are the hungriest things

They eat and eat but never get their fill

The darkest things seek and seek

Searching but they never find their thrill

The darkest things are the loneliest of the lonely

Searching for their prey until they find

Then the darkest of things start to search again

Leaving all their wreckage behind

The darkest of things, they thirst and thirst

The darkest of things sleep with throats parched

The darkest things do not love, they put hate first

For the darkest things, they have no heart

The darkest things some say don’t exist

The darkest things don’t need to eat

But trust me when I tell you, I must insist

They do exist and have the sharpest of teeth

The darkest things look everywhere

The darkest things search near and far

The darkest things will never stop

Until the darkest things darken the brightest star

The darkest things come and go

The darkest things let you feed on the past

The darkest things aren’t finished

Until the darkest things watch you take your last

The darkest things try to make life so grim

The darkest things can make the strong weak

The darkest things want you to feel alone

The darkest things aren’t the only who seek

The darkest things don’t even like the stars and moon

The darkest things want to stay in the darkest night

Cause the darkest things, yes, the darkest things

Even the darkest of the darkest, are afraid of the lightImage result for darkness and light

Image result for john 1:5

Father by Jeremy Camp-

Terrify The Dark by Skillet-

Rescue by Lauren Daigle –

Enough by Koryn Hawthorne-

Enough by Social Club Misfits-

When The Darkness Came

Image result for depression darkness quotes

When the darkness came, I let it come

I didn’t hide and I sure as heck didn’t run

It just kept coming and coming

I know I should have done something

I watched it as it got closer and closer

I let it engulf me, I let it take over

Each passing minute I was losing light

But I was tired, too tired to fight

Have you been there? When nothing is left

When the darkness is no longer a guest

But a full-time occupant, permanent resident

The time is coming, the end is imminent

I wish I could’ve fought, I really did

I wish I would’ve ran, would’ve hid

The darkness came for me, it was hunting

My strength was gone so I did nothing

There’s only me, only me to blame

For I let it come when the darkness came

Image result for depression darkness quotes

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

My Arms by Ledger-

Far From Home by Sam Tinnez-

Everyone Cries by Echosmith-

Stronger by Fearless Soul –

Follow You by Rasmus Hagan-

Follow Me by In Flames-

Even Here by JJ Heller-

Everybody’s Going Through Something by Chris Janson-

Everybody Cries Sometimes by Damien Dawn-

Fighting For by Lyra Blue-

 

 

Finding My Shadow

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I was a happy child. I was always smiling, always laughing. I was healthy. I ate good and exercised. I had a few close friends.

However, my best friend was my shadow. He went with me everywhere I went. He played the same games I played. He liked the same animals I liked. We were inseparable. Even when I went to bed at night, he was tucked in right beside me. When the lights went out, I would not worry because I knew he would be there in the morning when I woke up.

We would then start the day again. My shadow always right beside me. I would laugh and smile. We would eat together, play together, and at night we would sleep together. Through the years that would never change.

Until one morning I woke up and it did change. My shadow was gone.

I looked for him everywhere. In the glow of the kitchen light at breakfast, outside at the brightest time of day, and at night with my bedside lamp, but he was nowhere to be found.

Image result for shadow

I became dark. My smile went away. I no longer laughed. I no longer wanted to play or talk to anyone, even my parents. I wanted to stay in my room all day and all night.

I wasn’t happy. Why would my shadow leave me? There was no explanation that I could find. I woke up one morning and everything had changed. I tried to snap out of it but couldn’t. My parents tried. Nothing worked.

I even quit looking for my shadow.

I lashed out at everyone. Just leave me alone. The darkness would not go away. I hated the person I had become. I felt like a prisoner, trapped in my own mind. I thought things I could not believe I was thinking. I felt like hurting myself, hurting others. I quit doing my schoolwork and I was getting into trouble at school.

Then one day, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw my shadow. It was only a glimpse, a split second, and I could’ve been wrong, but a hope came over me. A hope I clinged to. And as I started to hope, the darkness started to leave me. And as the darkness started to leave me, I started seeing my shadow everywhere.

And as I started seeing my shadow everywhere, I started finding me everywhere.

The darkness did not win. I could smile again. I was me again.

I know not everyone can find their shadow, if you need someone to talk to reach out to

Depression – 855-403-7229  ,

Text CONNECT to 741741

Suicide – 1-800-273-8255    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

Image result for depression suicide quotes

Image result for depression suicide quotes

Dodging Raindrops by 311-

I Miss Those Days by NF-

Fell From The Moon by 3 Doors Down –

Someone To Talk To by Tenth Avenue North-

Love Is Stronger by Matt Kennon –

I Smile by Lotte Sollie  –

Don’t Worry by 311-

Call On Me by Starley –

Carry On by Young Rising Sons-

Image result for depression suicide quotes

A Christmas Prayer

Image result for charlie brown i think there must be something wrong with me

A Christmas prayer

For the ones out there

Who aren’t full of happiness and  cheer

Who are depressed and worn out this time of year

This time of year can be tough

Sometimes you just want to scream ENOUGH!

Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one

Or past hurts that have been done

 

Everyone else seems full of glee

You’re thinking “everyone but me”

You aren’t the only one faking a smile

Remember the season is because of the birth of a child

It’s not the decorations or presents

Or all the parties and events

Here is an open invitation

To join in the celebration

Image result for bible verses on hope and strength

No gifts to bring or trees to decorate

Whenever you are ready, we will wait

A genuine heart with love to give

I believe you are meant to live

Do not give up, Do not be dismayed

If you are having a string of bad days

There is a hope for a better tomorrow

One not promised without sorrow

One not promised without pain

One not promised without rain

One promised that you are never alone

One promised that you have a home

One promised that you are loved

One promised of HOPE,  sealed by His blood

Image result for luke 19 10

I can’t promise tomorrow will be better

I can promise you have a helper

Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up

Don’t give up when you’ve had enough

The night will fall and the sun will soon shine

Please, please give it some more time

Tomorrow is new

Perhaps a blessing for you

Tomorrow will soon be here

And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year

A baby boy was born in a manger

Don’t let him be a stranger

Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace

Tomorrow you will gladly embrace

I want you to know you are known

And that you aren’t alone

Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue

This is my Christmas prayer for you

Image result for 1 corinthians 2 9

Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:

  • Call 911.
  • Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
  • Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

Image result for bible verses on tomorrow is a new day

Lots of songs but couldn’t decide to put suicide or hope or someone loves you song so put a mix of all them.

Why by Faith Hill – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3idrXjpP3Y&w=560&h=315]

Why by Rascal Flatts – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EXGJKxi_PU&w=560&h=315]

Different Kind Of Tears by Sully Erna – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjqtPnwRmcg&w=560&h=315]

Before The Morning by Josh Wilson – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=New8i_eX3x8&w=560&h=315]

Somebody Stand By Me by Faith Hill – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41zDrJO4_rE&w=560&h=315]

Home by Phillip Phillips- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoRkntoHkIE&w=560&h=315]

Pray For You by Blessid Union Of Souls – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm9nUVxHTrI&w=560&h=315]

I Don’t Have The Answers by We Are Messengers- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvIIbyQLnHc&w=560&h=315]

10 Years Today by Bullet For My Valentine- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3-Bq8xrq8I&w=560&h=315]

Don’t Close Your Eyes by Kix- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRx0NIvwQQg&w=560&h=315]

Hold On by Good Charlotte- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb-SDUnhMGw&w=560&h=315]

The Fuzz by Jeff Rosenstock – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mOlwcFMZSU&w=560&h=315]

Hold On by Wilson Phillips- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM&w=560&h=315]

The Last Night by Skillet – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UizRJdg98rI&w=560&h=315]

The Reason by Lacey Sturm- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlMYN4vQBWw&w=560&h=315]

Take The Bullets Away by We As Human- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2T40qPAO-0&w=560&h=315]

The Right Time by Disciple – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug6gJAfbKNU&w=560&h=315]

Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.- [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc&w=560&h=315]

Goodbye (I’m Sorry) by Jamestown Story – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnCMnsPH6d0&w=560&h=315]

Just Say Jesus by 7eventh Time Down – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8CLgiYZyZE&w=560&h=315]

Pray For Me by Kirk Franklin – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TgkgGOmPJU&w=560&h=315]

Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0U0AlLVqpk&w=560&h=315]

My Story by Big Daddy Weave – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TKAN-nAsu8&w=560&h=315]

Hope Was Born This Night by Sidewalk Prophets – [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fok1h3p1sh8&w=560&h=315]

I Know It’s You

Image result for watching child sleep from doorway

I know it’s you

Who checks on me from the doorway

I know it’s you

Who loves me without one word you say

I know it’s you

Who left the Bible by my bed

I know it’s you

Who taught me Jesus rose from the dead

I know it’s you

Who left the guitar

I know it’s you

Who wants me to reach for the stars

I know it’s you

Who loves me with all your heart

I don’t know it’s you

That inside is falling apart

I don’t know it’s you

That keeps all the pain inside

I don’t know it’s you

That crawls into the dark and hides

I don’t know it’s you

That fights the voices in your head

I don’t know it’s you

Who sometimes wishes they were dead

I know it’s you

Who protects me and keeps me from danger

I know it’s you

That’s taught me I can be a world changer

I know it’s you

Who kisses me goodnight

I know it’s you

Who tucks me in nice and tight

I don’t know it’s you

That has so much hurt and doubt

I know it’s you

That I can never, ever live without

 

Image result for suicide or depression hotline

A Town Called Hope

Image result for old western town

I currently live in a town called Despair.  It’s not my permanent residence. I’ll stay here for awhile then move on to another town.  A wandering soul but I always find my way back to Despair.

I choose to stay in Despair. By myself. Everyone else left but I stayed.  The only things left are an old saloon, a hotel and a general store. Everything else is gone. The only visitors I have are the sins of my past.  Visitors that I choose to live with.

I get used to the buildings. Some are crumbling down now but they are familiar. Some have paint chipping off the walls but I have come to know the patterns.  A few doors are hanging off the hinges but I don’t mind.

I don’t see many visitors and when they do come, they don’t stay long. I have a way of running everyone off when they get close. Not that many people want to get close to me. I am a non-talker who is usually self-absorbed and selfish.  There isn’t much time for other people when I am busy trying to keep this town in order.

I sat on an old broken bar stool and ordered a drink of faith but the bartender laughed at me. I was the bartender.  There is no hope, no faith here. He gave me a shot of depression instead. Followed that with a chaser of anxiety. After a few more drinks of sadness, disappointment and fear and I wasn’t lonely anymore.

Behind the bartender was an old broken mirror that reflected what was left of my life.  Broken, scarred, pieces of what was once a beautiful life.  I destroyed that life and never looked back. Yet, it still reaches out to me saying here I am. You are never too far gone. You can have that life again. The man in the mirror laughs at me and tosses back another drink.

In a rage of anger, I grabbed the bottle and slammed it into the mirror. As the glass was shattering on the floor a stranger walked into the saloon.

He about scared me to death the way he looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like that before. There was no condemnation.  There was no disappointment or disapproval. There was only love.

“Hello.  Just wanted to let you know there is a road leading out of this town. It may be hard for you to find right now but it’s there. It leads to a town called Hope.  You’ll pass through Trust,  Faith, Joy, and Love along the way and you will want to spend some time in each of them.  Keep on going until you reach Hope. You will see me again but I will always be with you as you travel. I have never left you nor will I ever leave you.

I stayed in Despair a little longer but his eyes kept reaching into my heart, into my soul.  I looked around the town one last time and I said goodbye to the guilt and shame of my past mistakes.  I said goodbye to the fear that was keeping me here.

Image result for welcome to hope

You Don’t Know by Katelyn Tarver – 

Inner Demons by Julia Brennan – 

All My Hope by Crowder (feat Tauren Wells)  –  

Hope Floats by Amanda McBroom – 

I Forgive Me by James Fortune – 

Old Church Choir by Zach Williams – 

A Christmas Prayer

Image result for depression at christmas

A Christmas prayer

For the ones out there

Who aren’t full of happiness and  cheer

Who are depressed and worn out this time of year

This time of year can be tough

Sometimes you just want to scream ENOUGH!

Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one

Or past hurts that have been done

 

Everyone else seems full of glee

You’re thinking “everyone but me”

You aren’t the only one faking a smile

Remember the season is because of the birth of a child

It’s not the decorations or presents

Or all the parties and events

Here is an open invitation

To join in the celebration

Image result for bible verses on hope and strength

No gifts to bring or trees to decorate

Whenever you are ready, we will wait

A genuine heart with love to give

I believe you are meant to live

Do not give up, Do not be dismayed

If you are having a string of bad days

There is a hope for a better tomorrow

One not promised without sorrow

One not promised without pain

One not promised without rain

One promised that you are never alone

One promised that you have a home

One promised that you are loved

One promised of HOPE,  sealed by His blood

Image result for luke 19 10

I can’t promise tomorrow will be better

I can promise you have a helper

Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up

Don’t give up when you’ve had enough

The night will fall and the sun will soon shine

Please, please give it some more time

Tomorrow is new

Perhaps a blessing for you

Tomorrow will soon be here

And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year

A baby boy was born in a manger

Don’t let him be a stranger

Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace

Tomorrow you will gladly embrace

I want you to know you are known

And that you aren’t alone

Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue

This is my Christmas prayer for you

Image result for 1 corinthians 2 9

Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:

  • Call 911.
  • Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
  • Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

Image result for bible verses on tomorrow is a new day

Lots of songs but couldn’t decide to put suicide or hope or someone loves you song so put a mix of all them.

Why by Faith Hill – 

Why by Rascal Flatts – 

Different Kind Of Tears by Sully Erna – 

Before The Morning by Josh Wilson – 

Somebody Stand By Me by Faith Hill – 

Home by Phillip Phillips- 

Pray For You by Blessid Union Of Souls – 

I Don’t Have The Answers by We Are Messengers- 

10 Years Today by Bullet For My Valentine- 

Don’t Close Your Eyes by Kix- 

Hold On by Good Charlotte- 

The Fuzz by Jeff Rosenstock – 

Hold On by Wilson Phillips- 

The Last Night by Skillet – 

The Reason by Lacey Sturm- 

Take The Bullets Away by We As Human- 

The Right Time by Disciple – 

Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.- 

Goodbye (I’m Sorry) by Jamestown Story – 

Just Say Jesus by 7eventh Time Down – 

Pray For Me by Kirk Franklin – 

Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan – 

My Story by Big Daddy Weave – 

Hope Was Born This Night by Sidewalk Prophets –