I currently live in a town called Despair. It’s not my permanent residence. I’ll stay here for awhile then move on to another town. A wandering soul but I always find my way back to Despair.
I choose to stay in Despair. By myself. Everyone else left but I stayed. The only things left are an old saloon, a hotel and a general store. Everything else is gone. The only visitors I have are the sins of my past. Visitors that I choose to live with.
I get used to the buildings. Some are crumbling down now but they are familiar. Some have paint chipping off the walls but I have come to know the patterns. A few doors are hanging off the hinges but I don’t mind.
I don’t see many visitors and when they do come, they don’t stay long. I have a way of running everyone off when they get close. Not that many people want to get close to me. I am a non-talker who is usually self-absorbed and selfish. There isn’t much time for other people when I am busy trying to keep this town in order.
I sat on an old broken bar stool and ordered a drink of faith but the bartender laughed at me. I was the bartender. There is no hope, no faith here. He gave me a shot of depression instead. Followed that with a chaser of anxiety. After a few more drinks of sadness, disappointment and fear and I wasn’t lonely anymore.
Behind the bartender was an old broken mirror that reflected what was left of my life. Broken, scarred, pieces of what was once a beautiful life. I destroyed that life and never looked back. Yet, it still reaches out to me saying here I am. You are never too far gone. You can have that life again. The man in the mirror laughs at me and tosses back another drink.
In a rage of anger, I grabbed the bottle and slammed it into the mirror. As the glass was shattering on the floor a stranger walked into the saloon.
He about scared me to death the way he looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like that before. There was no condemnation. There was no disappointment or disapproval. There was only love.
“Hello. Just wanted to let you know there is a road leading out of this town. It may be hard for you to find right now but it’s there. It leads to a town called Hope. You’ll pass through Trust, Faith, Joy, and Love along the way and you will want to spend some time in each of them. Keep on going until you reach Hope. You will see me again but I will always be with you as you travel. I have never left you nor will I ever leave you.
I stayed in Despair a little longer but his eyes kept reaching into my heart, into my soul. I looked around the town one last time and I said goodbye to the guilt and shame of my past mistakes. I said goodbye to the fear that was keeping me here.
You Don’t Know by Katelyn Tarver –
Inner Demons by Julia Brennan –
All My Hope by Crowder (feat Tauren Wells) –
Hope Floats by Amanda McBroom –
I Forgive Me by James Fortune –
Old Church Choir by Zach Williams –