Charlie Chases Cars

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Charlie was just a young puppy when he chased his just first car. Charlie loved the thrill of chasing cars. Charlie wondered what would happen when he caught one.

Charlie grew bigger and faster. Charlie ran every day to build up his strength to catch a car. Charlie didn’t have time to play with other dogs. Any dog that tried to get close to Charlie, Charlie would run over on his way to try to catch another car.

Then one day, Charlie was chasing a car when he saw Bella. The world stopped for Charlie. Charlie didn’t think about chasing cars as much.

Charlie and Bella fell in love. Charlie and Bella started having puppies. Charlie and Bella were happy. Charlie started to worry about how he could provide for them.

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Charlie started chasing cars again. Charlie ran and ran. Charlie would stay out late chasing cars.

Charlie and Bella started to fight. Bella was left all alone while Charlie chased cars. Charlie’s kids wanted him to be home more. Charlie’s kids wanted to spend time with their dad. Charlie kept chasing cars.

Then one day it happened. Charlie caught a car. Charlie was so happy. Charlie thought I finally did it. But in that same moment, Charlie had another thought.

Now what?

Charlie realized he had made it to the top but that he had destroyed his life. Charlie had no friends. Charlie and Bella didn’t talk anymore. Charlie didn’t know what his kids were like.

Charlie was miserable at the top. All the long hours, all the sacrifices, all the birthdays he missed to get there.

Charlie wished he didn’t want to chase cars. Charlie wished he could do things differently. Charlie wondered if they would ever forgive him.

Charlie didn’t want to chase cars anymore.

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Cat’s In The Cradle by Harry Chapin – 

Lose My Soul by Tobymac-  

Just Another Birthday by Casting Crowns – 

Love I Leave Behind by Hannah Kerr – 

Without You by For King & Country – 

How Could You Leave Us by NF – 

Without Love by Bon Jovi – 

I Know It’s You

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I know it’s you

Who checks on me from the doorway

I know it’s you

Who loves me without one word you say

I know it’s you

Who left the Bible by my bed

I know it’s you

Who taught me Jesus rose from the dead

I know it’s you

Who left the guitar

I know it’s you

Who wants me to reach for the stars

I know it’s you

Who loves me with all your heart

I don’t know it’s you

That inside is falling apart

I don’t know it’s you

That keeps all the pain inside

I don’t know it’s you

That crawls into the dark and hides

I don’t know it’s you

That fights the voices in your head

I don’t know it’s you

Who sometimes wishes they were dead

I know it’s you

Who protects me and keeps me from danger

I know it’s you

That’s taught me I can be a world changer

I know it’s you

Who kisses me goodnight

I know it’s you

Who tucks me in nice and tight

I don’t know it’s you

That has so much hurt and doubt

I know it’s you

That I can never, ever live without

 

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Your Rose Garden

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I watched you for what seemed like hours as you tended your rose garden. I never understood why you would want to have so many roses and why you would want to spend so much time out there. You would always say you loved the way the dirt smelled. You would spend countless summer days bent over the garden, sweat dripping from your brow, pulling the weeds and pruning the roses. You would come inside sweaty, dirty, and looking exhausted but you always had a smile on your face.

I don’t get it I would say. You would reply, what’s their to get. It’s my time to do what I love and it’s my time I spend all alone with God. You should hear the conversations we would have. I would always reply I don’t know if I want to and we would laugh.

Even in the dark cold days of winter you would get bundled up and go outside to walk the path through your garden. Talking to them, touching their dead branches. Of course, I didn’t get that either. Why on earth? You would always say that they aren’t dead. There is life inside of them. They are like a lot of people in this world. Walking dead but there is life in them. It’s up to us to bring that life out. Waiting patiently, for today they may appear dead but with tomorrow there is always hope.

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You are like that. You had a natural beauty that I was instantly attracted to but it was your inner beauty that would light up my heart. You could walk into a dark room and it would be like someone turned on the lights. It is the type of person you are.

Until one day you were taken from me. A teenager was texting and driving and ran into you. Neither of you survived. God needed his angel back and I had to pay the price. At your funeral the pastor recited your favorite bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Forget you God. If this is your plan then I don’t want any part of it. I looked out the back window and saw your rose garden. In my grief, I ran outside and I pulled and broke and cut every rose bush. I screamed and hollered your name. I screamed at God.

Out of breath, cut, scratched, and bleeding from the thorns, I dropped to my knees and let my tears water the lifeless dirt.

Summer turned to winter and, like the days , my heart grew darker and colder. I didn’t know how to live without you. I didn’t want to live without you. God should’ve taken me with you. My pain was too much to bear.

I looked out the window and saw the bare garden. I finally understood what you meant. Even if they appeared dead, at least they were still there. Now there was nothing but bare dirt. I grieved more as I recalled that day I destroyed what you loved.

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As seasons go, winter turned to spring. We had an early spring this year. I looked out the window and could not believe my eyes. Somehow in the very back of the garden, barely visible from where I stood, a rose bush had survived and now had two roses blooming.

I ran outside as fast as I could. I had to touch them to see if they were real. As I did, I could swear I caught a faint scent of you. Then in the spring breeze I could swear I heard your laughter. I immediately dropped to my knees and grabbed a handful of dirt. It smelled so full of life.

In that moment, I felt my heart start to beat again.

I went out and bought as many rose bushes as I could find. There had to be at least a hundred of them and I was going to fix what I destroyed. I was going to fix your rose garden.

I labored for hours that first day. I went to bed exhausted, sore and smelling like dirt but I would wake up refreshed, ready to start again. I realized I could not do it on my own.

I looked at my phone, hesitant to dial their number. I dialed anyway. I called the teenagers parents and they came over to help. I think all of us healed a little bit that day.

I watched every day as your garden came back to life. I spent hours out there talking to you. I slowly learned to talk to God again.

Summer rolled around and I was still in the garden. Sweat rolling off every inch of my body but it was okay. I stood up to take a break and I swear I felt your hand touch mine. I closed my eyes remembering what your touch felt like. I looked down at my hand but yours was not there. I started to lift it up when a beautiful butterfly landed in my palm. Then a sliver of light fell right on it, giving it its own spotlight. I smiled, then the butterfly fluttered toward my face and touched my cheek, as if giving me a kiss. Then it flew to a nearby rose and I did something I hadn’t done in a long time.

I said your name out loud. Kim?

Then a summer breeze picked up and I swear I heard it carry your laughter. Tears fell down my face but I smiled.

In your rose garden I found life again. I found you again. I found God again.

I miss you every minute of every day but it was right there and then that I knew I would never be alone.

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Rodney The Raccoon – Inside The Mask

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(image credit: Mari Jones from Journey of a Million Miles)

“Oh, hello there.  My name is Rodney. It’s nice to see you. I don’t get many visitors. Most people see the mask and think I am bad.  I must tell you, I am not! At least most of the time. I am honest if nothing else. My mom always told me honesty is the best policy.”

“Come on down and have a sit. I don’t have rabies or anything. My uncle Phil had rabies but he is long gone. Only one in the family to get rabies but everyone usually thinks we are all rabid.  It’s like your family. I bet you have one bad apple in that tree.  Does everyone think you are bad because of them?”

“Let me tell you something else. We eat a lot of different things from pesky insects and small rodents to fruits and nuts. Yes, that was me in your trash can the other day but I could not find any other food. I had to feed my family. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.  You know how many of your kind I have seen trying to find food in trash cans. It’s sad if you ask me.  I mean me, I’m an animal and I don’t have anyone looking after me except maybe my near family. Your kind though, you throw away about half the food you eat. I see it in your trash cans and land fills. Shouldn’t you be helping others of your kind out instead of throwing it away?  How about buying less so there is less to throw away and using that extra money to give to a food bank or something? I once helped a deer out. Not typical for me but I just could not eat anymore berries so instead of tossing them to the ground, I gave them to the deer. Next time you see that homeless guy, look past what you see and feel what’s in his heart. You won’t miss that dollar or that sandwich you give him. Maybe even your heart will  grow three sizes that day if you did.”

“The mask?  What’s up with the mask you ask?  Take a look around you, everyone wears a mask.  Some you just see easier than others. My mask is for me to be able to see better at night. Look at that person over there? Do you think her mask is to protect her from her past?  She would love to take off her mask, get rid of her past mistakes but she is too scared to take it off. You don’t see a mask? Trust me, it’s there.  Look at that guy.  Do you think his mask protects him ? He looks like he is big and tough and can take on the world but inside he is hurting, he is begging to be loved, he is a big softy but no one will ever see that.  That little girl over there? Yes, another mask. She tries to put a smile on and be happy but I see her eyes. Her pain. She gets yelled at everyday. Her parents fight all the time. She doesn’t think she is worth anything.  That’s sad to see a mask on someone so young. I think you humans can do better. Take off the mask. Like my mom always said, honesty is the best policy. It will release so much stress and hurt.”

“What? You thought I was an animal to stay away from?  Why?  Because of my mask and the rings on my tail.  Really?  Take a look around you. Do you stay away from everyone that looks scary?  The guy with all the tattoos?  He is the nicest guy I ever met. The black man over there gave me his leftover food one day. I took that right home to my kids. They were so thankful. The white guy over there killed a snake one day and brought it over near my home. I eat anything.  Dead carcasses are sometimes my favorite. The Asian guy over there came right up to me one day, just like you did today, and just started talking. I sat there and listened. The Muslim lady over there wept with me one day when my youngest baby was hit by a car.  I don’t discriminate. I need all of you to survive.  Sometimes I help you, sometimes you help me.  That’s the way it should be. ”

“It doesn’t matter who you are. I will come up to you. That scares most people who only see my mask. Do you know I have a friend names Jesus who was the same way?  He talked to everyone, and there were people who were afraid of Him. He only wanted to teach people about His father and the love He has for all of us and how we should treat others.  Yet, people were afraid of Him and had Him crucified. He died for all of us. That includes you. Isn’t that awezing?”

“What? That’s not what you are taught. That’s a shame my friend. A real shame. I can call you friend, right? That’s what you are to me. I think you should take my words to heart. Go out and look at what’s inside a person. Get to know them.  Get past the masks and the colors.  You might be surprised what you find.”

“Have an awezing day my friend.  What’s that? You don’t know what awezing is? Oh, that’s a word I made up combining awesome and amazing. See, never know what you will find once you get to know someone.”

(image credit: Laura Ross)

Walking Blind by Javier Colon – 

Chosen Ones by Blanca – 

Get To Know Me by Mateo – 

Colors of the Wind by Tori Kelly – 

Heal The World by Michael Jackson – 

Where Is The Love by The Black Eyed Peas – 

Unite by 1GN – 

World Changers by Matthew  West – 

Love Feels Like by TobyMac – 

Rainbow Connection by Gwen Stefani (original by Kermit the Frog) – 

From The Top Of The World

From the bottom of hell and on my knees

My rotting soul in the air I breathe

I hold my breath, want my lungs to explode

Fighting my mind from mistakes made a long time ago

I claw at my chest, want to rip out my heart

From this world I want to depart

I poke at my eyes, I no longer want to see

I’m sorry for things I’ve done but I can’t forgive me

I’ve become cold, heartless, and callous

Nothing but empty rooms in this palace

In this palace the demons say the lies are truth, they insist

From the darkness of hell they tell me the light does not exist

From the bottom of hell and on my knees

I find the strength to whisper please God, please

From the bottom of hell I give you my sins, my shame

From the top of the world you whisper my name

From the top of the world you shout my name

The Dream

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This was my dream. Leave my life and everyone I know and head to the city. This was my dream and not theirs. I packed my bags and headed out. I saw the tears fall in my rear view mirror. They weren’t my tears but theirs. I pulled out of the driveway and headed to my dream.

I stood on the corner and watched the world go by. How many people have stood right where I am? How many have walked this same street? I believed I was meant to be here. I was going to make my dreams come true.

I worked hard. Harder than most. I sung my heart out. I wrote words that touched those that heard them. I carried a smile everywhere I went. But my faith was wearing thing. My hope was fading with the sunset. I was tired. It felt like no one else believed in my dream.

My heart was turning into the concrete I walked on. My lungs were polluted with the black of darkness that consumed this town.  My thoughts were flying with whatever direction the wind blew. Every no was shaking my soul to the core. Why was I here? I didn’t even know anymore. Somewhere on these dirty streets I lost who I am.

I only needed one yes. One person to believe in me. One break. One…

I stood on the corner and watched the world go by. I thought about stepping off the curb and into traffic. I just stood their with my eyes closed and my heart exposed. Everyone walked by and didn’t say a word. If they only knew how close I was. One word was all I need. One word, one touch, one….

My phone rang. Mom. She always knew. How did she always know? It was time to go home. Not to give up on my dreams but to do a restart. I needed to go back to where I was loved. I needed to find me again.

I pulled in the driveway and saw the tears fall in my rear view mirror. This time they were mine. I let them fall down my face.

I was home.

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Coming Home by Keith Urban-  

Cry Pretty by Carrie Underwood-  

Bright Lights by Mathbox Twenty- 

All Along by Jordan Feliz- 

Never Been A Moment by Micah Tyler-  

Dad-Daughter Weekend

While Kim was in Boston Kylie and I decided to drive two hours to Akron to see Jeremy Camp and Micah Tyler in concert.  As you know from previous posts, Jeremy is one of our favorite artists and we see him anytime he comes to Ohio, no matter where he is.

We left Columbus at two and arrived around four so we could eat.  I thought for sure there would be a lot of places, like chain restaurants, to eat in the area but we could not find any.  We decided to stop about a half mile from the venue at a place called New Era Restaurant.  It was a nice little place but we found out it was mostly Hungarian food. I kind of have a rule, if I can’t pronounce the name of it, I don’t eat it.  I ordered a cheeseburger and fries. It was probably one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever ate. Kylie ordered the chicken tenders and fries and said the same thing.  Probably some of the best chicken tenders she ever ate.  Of course, afterward I was kicking myself in the butt for not trying something new and ordering Hungarian.

We were off to the concert and arrived early and picked up our tickets.  Kylie takes drum lessons from Leif, the drummer, and he is always gracious to talk to us and let Kylie help take down the drums after the concert.

I was looking forward to seeing Micah Tyler. His cd is really good and he has an amazing voice. He was very funny, told us his story and how God has worked in him, and was a great entertainer.

We met Jeremy after the concert and talked to him for a minute.  He was gracious enough to Facetime with Kim while she was in Boston and wish her best of luck in The Boston Marathon and told her with God, all this are possible, find your strength during the race in Him.

If you ever get a chance to see him in concert, I would highly recommend it.  He puts on a great show, has great testimony, and is always super nice.

I don’t know why my pictures are so bad. Take them with Iphone.  They look good on my phone lol.

Sunday we just hung out and did things around the house, since winter was still around. Kylie went to Young Lyfe Sunday afternoon and I actually went grocery shopping so Kim did not have to worry about doing it Tuesday when she got back. She needed some rest time. First time I had done that in a long long time. I actually enjoyed it. Of course, I bought meat dinners and a couple veggie dinners for Kim. Since there was a salad recall going on, I couldn’t buy her salads, that’s what she mostly eats. She eats like a rabbit and runs like a rabbit :).

Monday I made dinner, beef tips and noodles, after work.  Then we had to get the house cleaned up before mom arrived Monday night after the marathon.

Never Been A Moment by Micah Tyler – 

Different by Micah Tyler – 

The Answer by Jeremy Camp –  

My Defender by Jeremy Camp – 

Never Stopped Loving by Jeremy Camp – 

2018 Boston Marathon

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Welcome runners, today you will be running 26.2 miles with temperatures ranging from 38-45 degrees,  rain with some downpours and 25-25 mph headwinds the entire race.  Enjoy your run.

Monday was the worst conditions for the Boston Marathon since 1908.  It was so bad that 23 out of the 45 elite runners dropped out.  Not my wife,  she was a trooper and finished the race.  Not the time she wanted, 4 hours and 5 minutes – 21 minutes slower than last year, but considering the conditions, she did a wonderful job.

Then consider that it seemed everyone was 20 minutes slower. Last year, the women’s winner finished in 2 hours 19 minutes. This year, 2 hours and 39 minutes. The men’s winner was seven minutes slower than last year and the winner from last year, who finished second this year, was ten minutes slower.

Congratulations to Des Linden, the first American winner in 33 years.  She was even ready to drop out at one point but she kept on going.

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For all those that withstood the elements and finished, you are very tough and should be very proud of yourselves.

My wife wrote a post on her thoughts on it so I will share those with you now.

Last year for Boston I finished 3:44. My training this year for 2018 all shows I COULD do 3:30. That is what I was aiming for. No issues with my back or foot during my training since the start of December 2017. Fast forward to a week before the marathon and one begins to look at the weather app daily just to know what to pack. Didn’t look like it would be too bad for shorts. Think again… Friday before leaving ( left on Saturday) I packed more warm/ dry gear and rain coat and poncho. I prayed and prayed every moment I had that God would change the predictions for the weather…guess He was not having any change of mind. Why??? Let’s just get to it.. race morning… it was raining just sprinkles at first and the wind was not so bad. Get to the Commons to catch the bus to the start and it starts to rain more and the winds gust. My friend and I while on the bus kept saying we can do this we will do it. She is just so awesome! We knew our goals would be shot, we just wanted to cross the finish. Athletic Village was a mud pool. Have never seen so much mud in one place. Still raining and winds blowing. Never seen so many ponchos and umbrellas and garbage bags as coats in one place. Even plastic bags over the shoes. Anything to keep dry. Before the start runners are in the elements. We did have big white tents to stay under and this year they had the sides covered as well. Once you got in you didn’t want to leave. Standing room only. Lucky to find a piece of land to sit on ( if you dare). Before the start I had on 2 pair of running pants, 2 pair of socks, 2 dri-fit fitted running shirts ( long sleeve), 2 pair of gloves with surgical gloves over them ( to stay dry), had a plastic bag over my head with a beanie then a visor ( to keep rain out of my eyes) and 1 running rain/ wind jacket then an OSU rain jacket and poncho. Oh and plastic bags over my shoes as well as duct tape on my shoes. Yes you read right– duct tape. What did I end up shedding? I got rid of the blanket, poncho and plastic bags over the shoes. The duct tape came off during the race. All I wanted to do was finish. I ended up stopping at one point after the half way mark because it was either vomit or use the potty.  The hills I made up, I tried to dodge puddles of water on the course but it got to the point there was no way of doing that. My visor stayed on the entire time which surprised me due to the 25-30 mph winds at our faces. The rain at times pounding down on us ( from either side). When the rain would fall harder the crowds got louder. So many wonderful spectators braved the windy, wet, conditions with us. So thankful! Each mile I just thought of those I was running for and the words that stayed in my head of encouragement. I won’t lie, I questioned myself, thought about just stopping but God had other plans for me. Plans to show that through tough, uncomfortable, out of control situations not only was He there but I could do it! Sure I questioned my attire, my hydration, the food I ate prior, my gels all of that ( shows the competitive athlete in me and the heart for the sport) and the stopping to use the potty. My spirits were crushed after the race for sure because I had a plan and goal in mind and it did not happen. I felt as if I failed. I won’t lie I had s good cry at the end and even in the airport waiting my flight home. Then I heard God and read ( truly read) the texts coming in from my loved ones.. I did do it. I battled the toughest weather conditions for the Boston marathon since 1908 ( for the record this was worse), 23 ELITE runners dropped out! I may not of hit my goal but I did it— soaked to the bone I did it. I finished this year in 4:05. That is roughly 20 minutes over my time last year. So with the weather conditions I faced on Monday I will truly take that as a win in my book. I want to thank my family, friends, volunteers and spectators for this year at Boston. My family is a huge supporter in what I love to do and I know Kylie and Rob have to put up with a lot from me during training. None of this would not have been possible without them, without the love and support from family and friends. At first I felt defeated crossing that finish line but as I sit back and take full perspective of the days events God taught me so much more. He wasn’t laughing at me, downing me He was praising me for fighting the course and staying strong! Sorry no pictures but Kathy and I were in another state of mind and taking pictures was the last thing in our minds. I love Boston and I will be back. I have other halves to look forward to this year as well as Columbus full ( where maybe I can get my 3:30 finish) Boston Strong! Kim Strong 2018!

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I Am Still Here

What a crazy few weeks.

We went on vacation to Florida to see Kim’s parents. We go there every spring break. It was beautiful weather, sunny and 80’s everyday. I wrote a few years ago about Kim’s mom was starting to have signs of Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately we noticed this time that her short term memory has become really bad. If you can, say some prayers for her please.

Then I go back to work and it was a mess. It took me three days to get things back in normal, if there is a normal he trucking industry, and get trucks back to running and being where they should be.

Then just when things were getting back to normal, one person I work with needed a day off so I took their work on Friday. Then Monday of the next week another person needed off so I took their work on. Then Thursday and Friday of that week another person had surgery and was out so I took their work on.

Now we are into this week And I am just trying to breathe. I am trying to start reading other’s posts and starting to write some myself. I actually have maybe 7-8 stories done or almost done so I will be getting some new material out soon.

Oh yeah, so during all that busyness, I had an iTunes update and it erased all my music and playlists. So I have been trying to get that back, with no luck. If anyone knows how to go back to where I was please let me know. I have looked online and it seems like this happens often but I try to follow what they say to do and nothing works.

My wife Kim just ran the Boston Marathon for the third time Monday. It was miserable weather. I will write another post on it.

Until next time…

Happy spring, winter, spring, winter, ….

Love, Not Hate: Continue To Love

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The birds gathered in mourning again

Another school shooting, when will it end?

Another police officer killed in the line of fire

The evil tragedies were making the birds feel dire

The hawk looked at the eagle and asked, “what can we do, what can we say?”

“Why do they always seem to choose hate?”

“Why do they choose to live like this?”

“Sometimes, this life seems to be pointless”

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The eagle answered as he shed another tear

“We can not give up, we can not live in fear.”

“We must continue to have faith.”

“In all this mess, God will lead the way.”

“We must teach them it all starts at home.”

“We must tell them we are never alone.”

“We must give this country back to God!”

“How we live now is deeply flawed.”

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“We teach not to pray in school,

that it’s all about me and forget the golden rule.”

“Young birds  don’t learn how to fail,

so when they do, they don’t cope well.”

“Their entire lives are out for the world to see,

everything has to be perfect and they can never be in need.”

“They post pictures and Snapchat with smiles,

not letting anyone see they are going through trials.”

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“Holding it all inside until one day they snap,

do something that they can never take back.”

“It’s a tough world in which they live,

it is up to us to teach them they have so much to give.”

“Be honest and show some vulnerability,

Asking for help doesn’t mean you have a disability.”

“Hawk, we must stand strong,

show this world where they have gone wrong.”

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“We must give life and not take,

wake from their slumber, they must wake!”

“We must lend a helping hand,

we must heal this land!”

“They must know they are truly loved,

they must know about God above.”

“We will stand united in the face of adversity!”

“We must live our lives purposely,

showing love to all who enter our nests,

by going out in the world and telling the rest

about the good news of the one who died,

the one who loves, we must put away our pride!”

“We must remember when the winds are strong,

that even the strongest winds don’t last that long.”

“When the wind blows out the light,

we have to be persistent to reignite.”

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“We can never give up!”

“We must stop the hate and continue to love.”

“We can never, ever give up the fight!”

“Let our light light up the darkest night!”

Then the hawk, who was still new to the faith

Asked the eagle,  “how do we get others to see things our way?”

“We lead by example,” said the eagle, “let our actions be clear.”

“No matter the hate, no matter the terror, we will not fear!”

“We will pursue the enemy, even when they hide,

we will win because God himself will fight by our side.”

The hawk and eagle then flew over the land

Many other birds joined them, taking their stand

Their numbers grew as they flew from shore to shore

They helped birds, other animals, humans, and more

They talked their words but backed them up

These birds were showing the world how to love

Will you join the movement and show others how to live?

Let your actions show by the way you give

Never ever be dismayed and never ever give up

Help us make hate extinct as we always show love

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Image result for QUOTES about love instead of hate

Weep With Me by Rend Collective – 

Not Even Now by Alisa Turner – 

Bleed The Same by Mandisa – 

Help Us by Tasha Page Lockhart – 

Give Love by Andy Grammar – 

Divided States of America by The Script –  

Prayer For Peace by North Mississippi All-Stars –  

Moving Forward by G.I. – 

Faith Hope Love Repeat by Brandon Heath –  

Come, In Our Dark Time by David Haas – 

I’ll Keep On Praying by Karen Peck –