The Fun House Of Mirrors

sites at the local fair ground - I never liked to funhouse. But if I was with friends I went in them and rode rides anyway. Nana

“Step right up, come on in, only a dollar” shouted the carny. He looked right at me and my friends. “Come on in boys, this will change your life” and he winked at me. I don’t know why but my gut was telling me something was wrong. My friends wanted to go in and since I didn’t want to be left out, I went in with them.

It wasn’t much at first. A conveyor belt going the opposite direction. Oooh scary right? We made a tight turn to the right and the floor started shaking. Everyone started to laugh but the feeling inside me was getting worse. It was then the lights went out. We started reaching out, touching each other to make sure we were all still there. We slowly inched forward and hit a wall, promptly piling into each other.  Then the lights came on and that was when the fun began.

Image result for carnival fun house mirrors

We were looking at ourselves, all four versions of each of us. We looked at each other like what the crap, a couple of my friends used some other choice words. In one mirror there was me, looking as normal as I am now, if you can call that normal. In the second mirror I was a hideous monster. What the heck? The third mirror I was a baseball player, uniform, glove and all. How could this be? I only was wearing the clothes I came in with. The fourth mirror showed me as an old, decrepit old man, all by myself. It was then we realized there was no exit. We did the only thing we could and started to push on the mirrors. The only one that moved was the second one. We all looked at each other and kind of shrugged and took a step through. But we weren’t all together on the other side.

There I was, the hideous monster. I pulled on my skin and clothes to get them to come off but they were me and I was them. It was then I noticed a small light in the distance. I walked toward it and saw it was a cell phone. It had a note on it. PRESS PLAY. What I saw disgusted me and I wish I didn’t have to tell you about it, but I do. It was 15 second clips of my life. There was me eight years old pushing the other kids down on the playground. There was me twelve years old stealing a cassette from the local music store. There was me sixteen years old with my girlfriend. We were in the backseat and she said she wasn’t ready but I said we had already gone too far so let’s keep going. There was me at nineteen at a college party when a bunch of guys took a passed out girl upstairs and I didn’t stop them. There was me at twenty two when I didn’t take the keys from my friend and he drove home drunk, but he didn’t make it. There was me at home instead of visiting my dad before he passed away. There was me watching a movie instead of calling a friend who was home alone, waiting for me to call. There was me ignoring my wife because of past mistakes. Was I really this monster? Is this how others see me?

Then we were all back in the same room of mirrors. We all looked at each other like what was that? No one was laughing now. We pushed on the mirrors again but only the third one opened this time.

There I was, at Wrigley Field, pitching for the Cubs. The crowd was chanting my name. Oh yeah, this is what I was made for. They all love me. I was on the mound, World Series, game seven, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two on, two strikes. One more strike and I bring a championship to Chicago. The wind up, the pitch…and I heard it. My shoulder popped. Then I heard the crack of the bat as it connected to the ball. Then I heard the silence. Just like that it was all over. The game, my career, my life. I was so angry. I was mad at God. How could He bring me to this moment and then let it all go? One pitch. It was all over. What kind of God would do that to me? I shut everyone out. I drank myself to sleep every night. I didn’t know the women’s names I would wake up to. I didn’t care. I went from 60,000 people screaming my name to the deafening silence of my own thoughts.

There we were again. All six of us in the same room of mirrors. Mark said that wasn’t so bad. “Let’s get this over with,” said Scott. We looked at each other and hesitantly stepped into the fourth mirror.

There I was. A decrepit old man. No one there but me. A lifetime of choices led me to here. A lifetime of bad choices. How did I get here? I was a good guy once. I believed in God, once upon a time. I looked in the mirror and the mirror looked back. Was this really me? Then I was gone. There in my casket, all by myself. Honestly, all by myself. No one came to say goodbye. Not one single person! Was I that unloveable and selfish? Was I really that bad of a person? I guess the truth hurts because I must’ve been for not one single person to show up.

We were all back in the room of mirrors. A couple of my friends said how cool their mirrors were. They hope their lives turn out like that. I didn’t have anything to say. This time the first mirror, the normal mirror, opened and we walked through. A couple turns and a few distorted mirrors later we were at the exit.

“Hey boys, how’d you like it? Did you like what you saw?” said the carny. “The mirrors don’t lie boys. If you didn’t like what you saw, you still have time to do something about it.” That was when he looked at me again and winked and gave me something. I was too terrified to look at it so I stuck it in my pocket and left. He turned around and started shouting , “step right up boys and girls, come on in, only a dollar and it will change your life.”

I forgot about what he gave me until I got home and undressed. It fell out of my pocket. A small bible with a note inside. Read this if you want to change your life. Read this if you didn’t like what you saw in the mirrors. It is your choice.

Pin by Nana Martinez on Encouraging words | Mistake quotes, Character quotes, Encouragement quotes

Monster by Skillet – 

All Of Me by Meatloaf – 

Ain’t Much Left Of Me by Blackberry Smoke – 

These Things I Hate (Revolves Around Me) by Bullet For My Valentine –

Hate Me by Blue October – 

Faces by One Less Reason – 

Objects In The Rearview Mirror by Meatloaf –

I’ll Find Me by Steve Azar – 

Sing by Waiting Hill – 

I Remember Me by Jennifer Hudson –  

I Hope They Get To Me In Time by Darius Rucker – 

Mirrors by Justin Timberlake – 

Funhouse Mirror by Jill K – 

I Choose You by Point of Grace – 

Noah Scape

There was a man named Noah Scape

Who felt misfortune was always his fate

He hated everything on this earth

Not once did he ever say a kind word

When people saw him coming

The other way they’d go running

Noah Scape would quite often offend

Surprisingly, or maybe not, Noah had many friends

But the ones he had felt the same as he

Noah Veil, Betty Wont, Miss Happs, and Y. Me

Dee Zaster, Emma Fraid, Hope Lescase,

Lois Steem, Shirley Knott, and Ray Neday

They all felt the world was out to get them

Perhaps, that is why they were all friends

But one day Noah Scape

Fell into it in a bad way

He needed help

But he truly felt

His troubles he could not share

No one he knew would care

With his head down he walked away

Wishing he could find Sunny Daze

A girl he knew once upon a time

Or maybe Yul B. Allright

He was always positive

And always quite supportive

Gene Yess was thoughtful and smart

Phil Hope always spoke from the heart

Then Noah thought maybe his life wasn’t a mess

Truly in his heart he knew he had to confess

That where he was in his life

His choices were part of his demise

So he chose right there and then

To begin his life again

For he had been miserable for quite a while

His face nearly cracked when he started to smile

The clouds started to part and the sun began to shine

Noah realized the light had been there the entire time

For where he was was not where he had to be

His eyes only needed to be open so he could see

He only had to make better choices

And listen to more positive voices

Now Noah knew that it was never too late

For there had always been a way out for Noah Scape

At The Corner Of Unicorn Lane

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At the corner of Unicorn Lane

Right before you get to Leprechaun Street

There lives a…. I don’t want to tell you it’s name

It’s not something most would want to meet

Some say it’s small, like an elf, fairy or pixie

Some say it’s big, like a Sasquatch, an ogre, or a Nephilim

I have seen it and to talk about it is quite risky

What I will say is that it doesn’t look like any of them

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Some say it’s a hybrid, like a griffin, a Minotaur or a mermaid

Others say it’s a shapeshifter, a werewolf, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I have seen it and trust me, don’t get in its way

The last person that did has disappeared, perhaps has died

I’ve heard some says it’s a Kirin or a dragon

I’ve heard some say it’s a Chupacabra or a vampire

I have seen it and it’s worse than you can imagine

I can understand that  you might think I’m a liar

Let me continue please

I’m not an expert but it’s important what I have to say

Trust me, it’s for your safety

For it doesn’t matter if it’s night or day

Image result for Friedrich Nietzsche monsters

Some say it is a hideous creature

Others say it looks just like you and me

Some say it has the scariest features

It’s always different for those  unfortunate enough to see

So when you go down Leprechaun Street

And you get to the corner of Unicorn Lane

Please keep walking, I beg you to move your feet

Especially on a cold dark night when it starts to rain

Enough already! You exclaim. Just tell me does it really exist?

I hesitate, not sure if you can handle the truth

Please stop asking ! I can’t say! Oh, why do you insist?

Are you ready? Are you sure? It… it’s…. aahhhh it’s YOU!

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Monster by Skillet – 

The Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace – 

Dark Side Of Me by Coheed and Cambria – 

Darker Side Of Me by Veer Union – 

Jekyll and Hyde by Jonathan Thulin – 

Monster by Stitched Up Heart – 

The Monster Is Loose by Meat Loaf – 

Monster You Made by Pop Evil – 

Way, Way, Way Down In The Deep

How to Overcome Your Demons

Way, way, way down in the deep

Is a monster who is waking from a long sleep

If you are still enough, you can feel a slight breeze

As it slowly unfurls it’s wings

Can you hear the demons sing?

God only knows the horror it will bring

From way, way, way down in the deep

Is a monster who is not afraid of defeat

A monster who believes it can not be beat

Can you feel the electricity in the air?

A monster like this is truly rare

It will tear you apart and not even care

I don’t mean to cause you to panic or for you to fear

But many of you do not believe this monster is near

But it is closer than you think and its goal is clear

Its eyes are open, its wings have unfurled

It doesn’t care if you are a boy or a girl

It only wants to destroy the world

But tonight, I travel and I can not sleep

For way, way, way down in the deep

Is a monster that I seek

I travel to the darkest of places

Looking, searching for the tiniest of traces

Don’t worry, I am not afraid to face it

I feel the wind stir, I can smell the evil

It knows I am coming, it mistakes me as feeble

But God has chosen me to protect his people

I travel deeper into the depths of darkness

This monster thinks I am nothing, that I am harmless

But I won’t leave here without carrying its carcass

From way, way, way down in the deep

I have found this monster I seek

Before it fully wakes, it will die in defeat

Image result for fighting demons

Made For This by Carrolton – 

The Elements by Tobymac – 

Nobody by Casting Crowns – 

This Could Change Everything by Francesca Battistelli – 

Monsters by Shinedown – 

Shadows In The Dark

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I have a story to tell you

It is hard to believe, but I swear it’s true

I hardly believe it myself

But it is a story I must tell

You see just last night I saw shadows in the dark

I swear it’s true, cross my heart

I know you are thinking, “How can there be shadows with no light?”

I say you are correct, but this world isn’t always black and white

So sit down and listen, let me tell you my story

It won’t take long, in case you are in a hurry

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You see I was walking home, it was the darkest of nights

No where could be found a single light

(Except of course from the windows of a few brave souls up that late)

But their light didn’t cast a shadow for this was my fate

The wind ripped through the trees

I was scared, (but keep that between you and me)

I knew deep down in my bones

I just knew I wasn’t alone

I could feel the enemy all around

They made such a terrible sound

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The gnashing and gnawing gave me a fright

I could hear them, but they were out of sight

I had chills up and down my spine

I felt as if I was running out of time

It was right then and there I said a little prayer

God, if you have just a little time to spare 

Even though a lot of bad I have done

Do you think you could help me out some?

It was then I saw the first shadow

He took the lead so I decided to follow

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Soon I saw ten or fifteen more

I felt a peace that wasn’t there before

They told me their names

No two were the same

There was Integrity,  Honesty, Compassion and Loyalty

There was Kindness, Forgiveness, Responsibility and Humility

There was Hope, Love, Faith, Joy,  Courage and Trust

They told me each one of them also lives in us

They told me we are so distracted by the darkness of this place

That we often do not see them, even when we are face to face

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They walked me to where I needed to go

They left before I could thank them though

I am thanking them now by writing this to you

My friend when you are lost and don’t know what to do

When you are in despair

And think there’s no one who cares

Think of something good, something you can not see

No matter the darkness, there is a light in you and me

There is a light that can penetrate the darkest of dark

You just have to believe with all your heart

That in  your darkest of  darkest nights

There are shadows that can only be caused by the light

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Save My Life by Sidewalk Prophets –  

I Wanna Go Back by David Dunn – 

No One Can Steal Our Joy by Tenth Avenue North – 

Rise by Danny Gokey – 

The Cure by Unspoken  – 

The Darkest Things

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The darkest things are the hungriest things

They eat and eat but never get their fill

The darkest things seek and seek

Searching but they never find their thrill

The darkest things are the loneliest of the lonely

Searching for their prey until they find

Then the darkest of things start to search again

Leaving all their wreckage behind

The darkest of things, they thirst and thirst

The darkest of things sleep with throats parched

The darkest things do not love, they put hate first

For the darkest things, they have no heart

The darkest things some say don’t exist

The darkest things don’t need to eat

But trust me when I tell you, I must insist

They do exist and have the sharpest of teeth

The darkest things look everywhere

The darkest things search near and far

The darkest things will never stop

Until the darkest things darken the brightest star

The darkest things come and go

The darkest things let you feed on the past

The darkest things aren’t finished

Until the darkest things watch you take your last

The darkest things try to make life so grim

The darkest things can make the strong weak

The darkest things want you to feel alone

The darkest things aren’t the only who seek

The darkest things don’t even like the stars and moon

The darkest things want to stay in the darkest night

Cause the darkest things, yes, the darkest things

Even the darkest of the darkest, are afraid of the light

Image result for darkness and light

Image result for john 1:5

Father by Jeremy Camp-

Terrify The Dark by Skillet-

Rescue by Lauren Daigle –

Enough by Koryn Hawthorne-

Enough by Social Club Misfits-

When The Darkness Came

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When the darkness came, I let it come

I didn’t hide and I sure as heck didn’t run

It just kept coming and coming

I know I should have done something

I watched it as it got closer and closer

I let it engulf me, I let it take over

Each passing minute I was losing light

But I was tired, too tired to fight

Have you been there? When nothing is left

When the darkness is no longer a guest

But a full-time occupant, permanent resident

The time is coming, the end is imminent

I wish I could’ve fought, I really did

I wish I would’ve ran, would’ve hid

The darkness came for me, it was hunting

My strength was gone so I did nothing

There’s only me, only me to blame

For I let it come when the darkness came

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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

My Arms by Ledger-

Far From Home by Sam Tinnez-

Everyone Cries by Echosmith-

Stronger by Fearless Soul –

Follow You by Rasmus Hagan-

Follow Me by In Flames-

Even Here by JJ Heller-

Everybody’s Going Through Something by Chris Janson-

Everybody Cries Sometimes by Damien Dawn-

Fighting For by Lyra Blue-

Danced With Your Ghost

I did what you wanted me to do

Threw the biggest party for you

We all told your stories until midnight

As we celebrated your life

We shared our memories and toasted with cheers

And as you wanted, there weren’t any tears

Your memory didn’t leave with the last guest

Because then it was just you and me left

I smiled and tried to stay strong

Then I put on our favorite song

And I danced with your ghost

And I knew you would’ve been the most

Proud of me as we danced away

I love you, I wanted to hear you say

And how I wished you were here with me

And then I cried myself to sleep

I Didn’t Know How To Ask For Help

You should’ve known I quit fighting

When I was no longer writing

Too wrapped up in yourself

To see I needed help

I get it, I really do

Wanting people to like you

All smiles and good times

Hard to admit you aren’t fine

But I know you are just like me

Not wanting the world to see

How much you’re hurting

How bad you are searching

Trying to find something to believe in

Wishing you had one, just one friend

That could see through all the lies

That tried to find all things you tried to hide

Believe me I can see the irony

Because that could’ve been me

But l, like you, was too wrapped up in my own screen

To look up and reach out to tell you how much you mean to me

But in the end I guess you are just a little stronger

And you’ve been able to fight a little longer

But for me, well this was my last night

The darkness claimed victory over the light

And maybe I shouldn’t have smiled through the pain

And maybe I shouldn’t have hidden these thoughts in my brain

Maybe you wouldn’t have thought I was going insane

And maybe you could’ve broke me free from these chains

But a lot of maybes I guess we’ll never know

I miss who I was not so long ago

I wish you could see these tears roll down my face

But man, there’s so many things I can’t erase

And I know sorry will never be enough

I wish, I wish I felt like I was loved

But you know, it’s not like anyone will miss me

When was the last time anyone even reached out to me?

I mean, you really had to know

I was taking blow after blow

And you had to know I got up each time a little slower

And you had to see I was holding my head a little lower

You had to see I smiled a whole lot less

I mean, I was a total freaking mess

Not even Instagram could hide my sadness

And my Tik Tok’s were borderline madness

Hey, I’ve even scheduled posts three months ahead

I might even be instafamous after I’m dead

At least for a day or two

Then it’ll again be all about you

I mean my writings went from hope and faith to despair

But not one person reached out to care

A pity party this is not

Like me, it’ll be so easily forgot

Like I said, I get it, you’ve got your own likes to get

But I hope , unlike me, you can live without regrets

You know, it wouldn’t hurt to get away from the screen

Be a good friend, a real relationship, one last piece of advice from me

And I know you are busy, got your own life to live

But man, I hope God really does forgive

Don’t get me wrong , it’s not all on you

These demons I have are a wicked crew

Maybe I should’ve told you all this before tonight

But it really wasn’t until a minute ago I gave up the fight

I always felt like I’d have more time

But sometimes you are out of rhymes

I wish I never felt the things that I have felt

But I feel like I didn’t know how to ask for help

(In case anyone thinks this is a goodbye note, it is not. I am still here but these thoughts are in my head. We all know someone who is hurting but we are afraid to reach out and dig deep and make that connection. Challenge this weekend is to put your phones down, go knock on a neighbor’s door and ask them how they are doing. Buy a pizza and sit down together and talk. Who knows, you might just save a life.)

You Will Be Found by Ben Platt –

A Place Called Earth by Jon Foreman/ Lauren Daigle –

Up There Down Here by Zach Williams –

People Need People by Michael Franti –

People Need People by Maddie & Tae –

These Are Just A Few Of The Things That Are Messed Up On My Street

We have cats that bark and dogs that meow

We have wolves that roar and lions that howl

We have tigers that eat veggies and giraffes that eat meat

These are just a few of the things that are messed up on my street

We have newborns who talk and adults who don’t

We have things to be done but we know to be done they won’t

We have teenagers that are mature and parents that are not

We have commitments that are made and then conveniently forgot

We have neighbors that are alive and some that are dead

We have some planning a future and some with ghosts in their heads

We have turtles that are fast and rabbits that are slow

We have rivers that are dry and farm fields that won’t grow

We have hate that is rampant and we have love trying to find a way

We have marriages holding on tight and some destroyed by one choice made

We have people being shot and people being healed

We have truths being told and lies being concealed

We have some that live free and others that live in fear

We have some that have given up and some that believe hope still lives here

Then there is me who wants to be happy but is quite sad

I will share with you some of the questions I have

Can you love someone but no longer want to be with them?

Can you not go to church but still pray to God amen?

Would a chicken ever eat an egg and can a bee sting another bee?

Do these words make any sense to anyone but me?

If anything is possible doesn’t that mean anything could be impossible?

Which would also mean anything that is probable could still be improbable

If you expect the unexpected doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?

If I only talk to people via text and social media, am I really connected?

If my life is better in my dreams is it possible my life is really a dream?

Sometimes I wonder what’s the point if I am me and this is all that will ever be

Does a fish or shark or whale ever get dehydrated?

If you caused the issue then why, at me, are you so frustrated?

What’s the least important thing that’s the most important thing to you right now?

I apologize, as usual, these voices in my head have gotten sidetracked somehow

Is it committing murder if I kill these voices inside of me?

Social media shows every one is happy but I know not all is as it seems

If a toddler refuses to take a nap does that mean it’s resisting a rest?

Life, please give me some answers because I’m failing your test

How many times can a heart break before it breaks forever?

How many times can you say you won’t do the thing you did? I will never….

How many chapters of our life should I read before I close it and make my own ending?

Because, if we must honestly admit, we both know we are only pretending

God please help me, I think I’m going insane

Guess I better mow the grass before it starts to rain

Wait, I thought of something that doesn’t make sense

If I give you a penny for your thoughts then why are your thoughts worth two cents?

If, as a child, you’re told not to take candy from strangers then why is there Halloween?

If rabbits don’t lay eggs then where does the Easter Bunny get all the eggs it delivers to you and me?

I know, I know, I should really wrap this up

But can you answer this, does it exist, it being love

I know I’m unique, broken, hopeful, confused, a little crazy but is there anyone else like me?

These are just a few of the things I think about when I think about the things that are messed up on my street

Odd Man Out by Clayton Jones-

Things I Wish I Would’ve Said by Katy Nichole-

Who You Thought I Was by Brandy Clark-

Memories by Conan Gray-

Word That Don’t Exist by Citizen Soldier-