The Battle

On November 5, 2020October 27, 2020 By roberthansen1317In battle within, Christian life, Short storyLeave a comment

originally published Oct 19, 2016 (it’s been a year already, crazy)

Image result for starless beach

It wasn’t a good night. Alone again. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my doubts. Alone with my past regrets. That’s when I realized I wasn’t alone. Something, or someone was there with me. I could feel it. I would rather face off against Freddie Krueger.

I could feel it before I could see it. I looked around but I was the only one here. Fear crept in. The only sound was the sound of my too loud beating heart. Evil lurked. Looking for a place to land. It only needed a small opening and it waited patiently. I wasn’t going to let it in, but it waited. Evil is patient, waiting for its opportunity.

I fought the invisible evil. It wasn’t going to win. Doubts would sink in. At times I believed the lies. I was stronger than this. I had a power inside of me. I often forgot about this power. I often forgot about the strength it gave me. I wasn’t going to forget this time. I also knew I couldn’t do it alone. I yelled out to God.

The evil was gone. A peace overcame me. I stopped shaking. My heart calmed. I wasn’t naive though. I knew the evil would be back. It doesn’t give up easily. More importantly, I knew neither did God.

Image result for ephesians 5 8

I had to get out of the house.

I liked walking on the beach. The wind coming off the ocean, the smell of it. The way the moon and stars shined their light off the waves. I could walk for miles. It was relaxing but there were no stars to light my way tonight. Only the light of a full moon, and it didn’t seem to be as bright as it should have been.

I walked along the beach. Even the waves didn’t sound the same. Like they were whispering to me. There was definitely a thickness in the air.

Something just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Was something in the house with me? Was it just my imagination? I couldn’t quite shake the feeling.

That’s when I saw him. Well, I guess I should say it. I couldn’t quite make out the form in the darkness but something was definitely there. He, or it, was hiding in the darkness under the pier.

My heart was starting to beat fast. Stop it, I said to myself. This is just your imagination acting up. There is nothing to fear.

I was getting closer to the pier. Maybe 30 feet away. I took a deep breath. My mind was playing tennis. Volley to the left, it’s going to be okay. Volley to the right, be prepared. It’s going to be you or him. Volley left, volley right. That’s when he stepped out and I could see it in his eyes. Volley right it is.

I had no weapon. Or at least I thought I had no weapon. God, be with me. I heard the scream, I saw the light. That’s when I fell to the ground.

Did someone sneak up behind me and hit me in the head? What was that light? I quickly did a self check and realized I wasn’t hurt. I looked up looking for the man but he was nowhere to be found. What just happened?

Add that to my list of weird things happening tonight. The list would be getting longer.

I know what you are thinking. I should turn around and just go back home. Lock myself in my room and say goodnight. I could not do that. I should’ve done that but something was telling me to keep moving forward.

Image result for we are the light of the world

I heard the screams. I ran to them. I know you are yelling for me to run away from them. I was thinking the same thing! I couldn’t do it. I am not a hero but I had to see if there was anything I could do.

They were huddled together at the dead end of a one way street. The look of terror on their faces is something I can never forget. They were looking upward. I followed their eyes and then I saw them. There had to be at least twenty, maybe more, of them. The legion of demons were hideous. They were attacking relentlessly. They disgusted me.

At one time or another they were all a part of my life. I am a sinner and I knew them all by name. There was greed, lust, fear, addiction, hopelessness, negative, pride, envy. I knew them well. There was also wrath, sloth, doubt, low self-esteem, failure, sorrow, gossip and hate. Many more I will not name but they were all following their leader Baal. I was actually surprised to see him. They usually let their minions do the work and don’t show their faces. With him here, I knew this was going to be a long battle.

That’s when I saw the glow. I looked down and I was shining like a light. I wasn’t alone. I looked around and there were many others with me. We had been brought together for this moment. We are the light of the world and now was the time to defeat the darkness.

We lit up the dark night. Many of the demons ran when they saw the light. Many others chose to fight. The light was their enemy. The truth was their adversary. Hope was their opponent. We were their prosecutors.

After a long, bloody, hard fought battle we were victorious. There was sadness in our victory. We lost some friends in the battle but they will forever be remembered as heroes. We will fight the good fight. Where there are demons, so will we be. We will honor the truth and defend it with our lives.

They will be back. We will be here when they return.

We are the light of the world and we will shine victorious.

Image result for we are the light of the world

Good Fight by Unspoken –

Soldier On by Sidewalk Prophets –

Never Burn Out by Stars Go Dim –

Same Power by Jeremy Camp –

Independence Day by Union Of Sinners and Saints –

Soldiers by Martin Smith –

Onward Christian Soldiers by Petra –

I’m Just Another Soldier by The Five Blind Boys Of Mississippi –

Children Of The Light by Lecrae –

Where The Light Is by Dan Bremnes –

I’ll Be The Light by Colton Dixon –

Why Is He Back?

On October 28, 2020October 20, 2020 By roberthansen1317In angels, Christian life, Short storyLeave a comment

Image result for demon in mirror

It was a difficult time. I knew that she was not being herself. I knew the enemy had attacked and she didn’t fight him.

I told God, I told the devil, whoever would listen that I am stronger than she is. Take the demon from her and put it in me. Release her and let me deal with it.

I don’t cuss. I don’t scream. Most of the time nothing bothers me. I just let it roll right on off and go on with life. Yes, I get discouraged when I am taken advantage of, over and over and over. But life goes on. Stay the course. I tell you this because you need to understand the change that happened when I invited the demon into me.

The change was immediate. I felt like a different person. I could feel the tension inside of me. I turned into a person that screams, yells, and cusses. She deserves every bit of it for what she did. I don’t need her so let’s beat her down until she can’t get up. She did this, not me.

I looked in the mirror and the eyes looking back were not mine. I could see him in there. I knew he was there. He knew I knew. A small sinister smile appeared. You asked for me to be here so here I am.

It was a battle between who I am and who he is. Sometimes the angels won, sometimes the devil won. Sometimes I didn’t care who won.

Sometimes I even enjoyed him being there. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No more kind heart. Be the bad guy they all want anyway.

But I can’t be the bad guy. As hard as it tried, it’s just not who I am. It is who he is. Telling me things, telling me I need to do this or do that. I fought it.

I could eventually feel him come at all hours of the day and night. I would feel my eyes shift and I knew he was there. It would be like blinking and the world just looked different. He was the one looking from behind my eyes, not me. I would wake up sweating but my teeth were chattering because I was freezing. I would start shaking, like I was having a seizure, in middle of the day.

Where did he go when he wasn’t in me? Or was he always there and the angels just kept him subdued? If that’s the case, did the angels leave me to deal with this on my own? I don’t know.

I had to get control.

I could not take it anymore. God take this from me. Silence. I guess I did ask for it. Maybe I was not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe I still am not that strong.

I went to a Christian counselor to see if this was just in my head or what was going on. She suggest we do this rapid eye sensory thing, something they use for PTSD cases. Anything was worth a shot.

Holy crap, I will never doubt counseling again. I could see the demons face, he told me his name. It was like he was sitting right beside me. It gives me chills just talking about it now. After a few treatments, and since I now knew its name, I asked it to leave. Amazingly, it did.

That was five years ago.

I finished brushing my teeth yesterday and looked in the mirror. To my surprise, he was looking back at me, then he smiled his sinister smile.

Image result for demon looking back at me

Oh no! was my first thought. I didn’t ask you to come back here. What are you doing here? Then I thought, I don’t even care. I am too tired to fight it.

I just stood there looking at myself, and not myself was looking back, smiling.

I resigned myself to this is how it is going to be. I must well give up. But then I saw a flash of light in the mirror behind me.

I knew the angel was back also. I was not alone. I would not have to fight this alone. I will fight this.

I will fight.

Image result for angel flash of light

Goodnight Good Guy by Collective Soul –

My Demons by Starset –

Don’t Give Up by Calling Glory –

I Am Not Alone by Kari Jobe –

Oh Lord by Lauren Daigle –

A Fight I Must Win by Arch Enemy –

The Fun House Of Mirrors

On October 28, 2020October 19, 2020 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God can change your life, music, Short storyLeave a comment

sites at the local fair ground - I never liked to funhouse. But if I was with friends I went in them and rode rides anyway. Nana

“Step right up, come on in, only a dollar” shouted the carny. He looked right at me and my friends. “Come on in boys, this will change your life” and he winked at me. I don’t know why but my gut was telling me something was wrong. My friends wanted to go in and since I didn’t want to be left out, I went in with them.

It wasn’t much at first. A conveyor belt going the opposite direction. Oooh scary right? We made a tight turn to the right and the floor started shaking. Everyone started to laugh but the feeling inside me was getting worse. It was then the lights went out. We started reaching out, touching each other to make sure we were all still there. We slowly inched forward and hit a wall, promptly piling into each other. Then the lights came on and that was when the fun began.

Image result for carnival fun house mirrors

We were looking at ourselves, all four versions of each of us. We looked at each other like what the crap, a couple of my friends used some other choice words. In one mirror there was me, looking as normal as I am now, if you can call that normal. In the second mirror I was a hideous monster. What the heck? The third mirror I was a baseball player, uniform, glove and all. How could this be? I only was wearing the clothes I came in with. The fourth mirror showed me as an old, decrepit old man, all by myself. It was then we realized there was no exit. We did the only thing we could and started to push on the mirrors. The only one that moved was the second one. We all looked at each other and kind of shrugged and took a step through. But we weren’t all together on the other side.

There I was, the hideous monster. I pulled on my skin and clothes to get them to come off but they were me and I was them. It was then I noticed a small light in the distance. I walked toward it and saw it was a cell phone. It had a note on it. PRESS PLAY. What I saw disgusted me and I wish I didn’t have to tell you about it, but I do. It was 15 second clips of my life. There was me eight years old pushing the other kids down on the playground. There was me twelve years old stealing a cassette from the local music store. There was me sixteen years old with my girlfriend. We were in the backseat and she said she wasn’t ready but I said we had already gone too far so let’s keep going. There was me at nineteen at a college party when a bunch of guys took a passed out girl upstairs and I didn’t stop them. There was me at twenty two when I didn’t take the keys from my friend and he drove home drunk, but he didn’t make it. There was me at home instead of visiting my dad before he passed away. There was me watching a movie instead of calling a friend who was home alone, waiting for me to call. There was me ignoring my wife because of past mistakes. Was I really this monster? Is this how others see me?

Then we were all back in the same room of mirrors. We all looked at each other like what was that? No one was laughing now. We pushed on the mirrors again but only the third one opened this time.

There I was, at Wrigley Field, pitching for the Cubs. The crowd was chanting my name. Oh yeah, this is what I was made for. They all love me. I was on the mound, World Series, game seven, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two on, two strikes. One more strike and I bring a championship to Chicago. The wind up, the pitch…and I heard it. My shoulder popped. Then I heard the crack of the bat as it connected to the ball. Then I heard the silence. Just like that it was all over. The game, my career, my life. I was so angry. I was mad at God. How could He bring me to this moment and then let it all go? One pitch. It was all over. What kind of God would do that to me? I shut everyone out. I drank myself to sleep every night. I didn’t know the women’s names I would wake up to. I didn’t care. I went from 60,000 people screaming my name to the deafening silence of my own thoughts.

There we were again. All six of us in the same room of mirrors. Mark said that wasn’t so bad. “Let’s get this over with,” said Scott. We looked at each other and hesitantly stepped into the fourth mirror.

There I was. A decrepit old man. No one there but me. A lifetime of choices led me to here. A lifetime of bad choices. How did I get here? I was a good guy once. I believed in God, once upon a time. I looked in the mirror and the mirror looked back. Was this really me? Then I was gone. There in my casket, all by myself. Honestly, all by myself. No one came to say goodbye. Not one single person! Was I that unloveable and selfish? Was I really that bad of a person? I guess the truth hurts because I must’ve been for not one single person to show up.

We were all back in the room of mirrors. A couple of my friends said how cool their mirrors were. They hope their lives turn out like that. I didn’t have anything to say. This time the first mirror, the normal mirror, opened and we walked through. A couple turns and a few distorted mirrors later we were at the exit.

“Hey boys, how’d you like it? Did you like what you saw?” said the carny. “The mirrors don’t lie boys. If you didn’t like what you saw, you still have time to do something about it.” That was when he looked at me again and winked and gave me something. I was too terrified to look at it so I stuck it in my pocket and left. He turned around and started shouting , “step right up boys and girls, come on in, only a dollar and it will change your life.”

I forgot about what he gave me until I got home and undressed. It fell out of my pocket. A small bible with a note inside. Read this if you want to change your life. Read this if you didn’t like what you saw in the mirrors. It is your choice.

Monster by Skillet –

All Of Me by Meatloaf –

Ain’t Much Left Of Me by Blackberry Smoke –

These Things I Hate (Revolves Around Me) by Bullet For My Valentine –

Hate Me by Blue October –

Faces by One Less Reason –

Objects In The Rearview Mirror by Meatloaf –

I’ll Find Me by Steve Azar –

Sing by Waiting Hill –

I Remember Me by Jennifer Hudson –

I Hope They Get To Me In Time by Darius Rucker –

Mirrors by Justin Timberlake –

Funhouse Mirror by Jill K –

I Choose You by Point of Grace –

This Is Going To Hurt

On October 27, 2020October 20, 2020 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God can change your life, God heals, God is there, My God Is With Me, Short story5 Comments

I ran.

As soon as he took a step towards me, I ran.

I can’t tell you how far or how long I ran. I am willing to bet my last dollar it was farther and longer than I thought was possible.

I stopped to catch my breath and two questions popped into my head. What did I do for him to be here? Why was he following me?

I started to run again. In between my breaths, I heard the roar of rushing water below. It was in that moment I knew I took the wrong path.

I had three choices. Two of them would surely end in death. I could jump off the cliff into the cold rushing water. Death. I could stand there and do nothing and let him catch me. Death.

Since the first two choices would end in death, I had one choice left.

I had to escape.

Come on, come on. THINK!! I looked around, evaluating my options. Looking for another way. Time was running out. I could hear him coming.

I threw a rock over the cliff into the water. Hoping he thought I jumped. Then I looked at my only option left. The thickest thorn bush I had ever seen.

This is going to hurt.

I jumped in.

Related image

I tried quieting my breathing. I tried curling up into a small ball. I tried wishing that the moon wasn’t full. But it was.

I heard his footsteps. Getting closer. And closer. How did I get here?

I remember the day it happened. One year ago. One year ago today to be exact. I was in one of my “seasons,” as I like to call them. Nothing was going right. I was sinking into the quicksand I called depression. I was spiraling out of control. Failure was coming and I couldn’t stop it. Shame and guilt knocked on my door and I not only answered, I let them in.

Have you ever done something and one second after you did it you said what did I just do? I am so stupid. Why did I do that? I just let everyone I know down and I know they could never forgive me. I couldn’t even forgive myself so how could they?

I had to keep what I had done a secret. NO MATTER WHAT!! The truth would kill them, therefore killing me. Since I was already dead, there was no need to kill them. So I kept it to myself.

I sank further into my guilt and shame. I withdrew from everyone. Oh, I still had a killer smile and was wittingly charming. I could get by. I faked a lot of happiness. Inside, I cried a lot of tears. I was rotting inside and I knew they could smell it. I knew they knew I was a fake. But they never said anything.

Maybe I was better at hiding it than I thought. Then I started thinking, I am such a good liar. Which led to more guilt and shame. Which led to him.

At first, I didn’t pay much attention. I would see him at the gas station or maybe at the store. You know the feeling you get when you think someone is watching you. I would get that and look up and he would be looking at me. He wouldn’t look away. I got chills down my spine. What a creep, I thought.

Through the first few months, I would seem him every couple of weeks. As the year progressed, I would see him more and more. Recently, as I was falling apart and my lies were catching up to me, as my guilt and shame were eating at me, I was seeing him every day.

EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME.

NEVER LOOKING AWAY.

I finally was getting the courage to approach him and ask him what his deal is. That’s when he took the first step to me. I froze. Then, I ran.

I ran and here I am. In this thorn bush. Scratched and bleeding. Dying inside. Hiding from a man who wouldn’t quit following me.

As smart as I thought I was by throwing the rock into the water, he was smarter. As quiet as I thought I was being, he could still hear me. As dark as I thought my hiding place was, he still found me.

I, for the first time, took a good look at him. I mean, a really good look. I wanted to know who was going to end my days. That’s when I saw the crown of thorns around his head. He didn’t say a word. He just reached his hand down and by the light of the moon, I saw the scars on his. A sudden peace came over me and for some unknown reason, I reached out and took his hand.

Image result for crown of thorns

The thorns parted as he pulled me up. My bleeding wounds stopped bleeding. It was like a giant boulder was taken off my shoulders.

“I forgive you.” In those three words that he said my heart changed. It was like clean air was poured into my dirty lungs. Tears of guilt were replaced with tears of joy.

I walked back home, with him by my side. I knew it may be a long road to recovery, but I knew I had to tell them. I knew they had to know the truth. I could not keep living with this.

I also knew with him there was no condemnation, no guilt, no shame. I had to believe that they would forgive me also. I had to hope and pray for a better future. No matter what happens, I knew I had to continue to walk with him, not run away from him.

I took a deep breath and walked into the house. I knew we would be okay. I knew that I would be a better man. I knew they would forgive me. I knew we would survive the lies. Even so, I knew this was going to hurt.

Image result for bible verses on forgiveness

Never Stopped Loving by Jeremy Camp-

Grace Will Lead Me Home by David Dunn –

Fear Is A Liar by Zach Williams –

He Still Does Miracles by Hawk Nelson –

Worth It by Lecrae-

You Waited by Travis Greene-

Always Faithful by Ashes Remain –

Immortal

On October 26, 2020October 20, 2020 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Short storyLeave a comment

Image result for fighting in illness

We rejoiced in another battle won. We have fought many over the last few months but this one was not only of joy but sorrow. We lost many good men today, and I take the blame. I am their leader and I did not lead well today. Something was wrong with me.

Looking back on my lifetime, I have fought many battles and I have never, not ever, not even once been nicked, scratched, cut or anything. I have walked away from all those battles unscathed. I have had men die, but they were far and few between. I have fought battles alone and never lost. The enemy could not touch me.

Some say God must have His hand on me. Some say that I am extremely lucky. I don’t believe in luck.

I have walked into cities that were destroyed by the black plague and I did not get sick. I have walked into small villages that were so decrepit that stray dogs would not even live there. In fact, I have never been sick a day in my life. Not a cough, not a fever, not even a single sniffle.

That all changed three days ago.

A few of my men and I were relaxing and drinking a few at the local bar. We parted ways and I started to go down an alley I had walked down hundreds of times. Immediately, the hairs on my arms and neck stood up. Something didn’t feel right. I drew my sword, prepared for battle. Two demons jumped from the shadows. I easily disposed of the first one. As I faced off against the second one, a thought came into my head. One that I never had before.

You can not win this one.

It came and was gone just as fast but it stopped me in my tracks. And in that second of delay, the demon swung his arm. I ducked but his long fingernails grazed my arm. I came back at it with an uppercut and then my sword sliced through his neck. His headless body fell at my feet and I was victorious again.

It was then I noticed I had been cut. My arm was bleeding. For the first time in my life, I felt pain.

I fell asleep that night and woke in a cold sweat. Nightmares came to me and I could not escape them. I could not fall back asleep. My heart was beating out of my chest and my head was on fire. I tried to get out of bed but my legs would not cooperate. I fell to the floor. I stayed there until the morning light.

Morning came and it was like nothing had happened. I picked myself up off the floor. My heart was beating normal, the fever gone. My strength was back. I wondered if it had all been a nightmare. My imagination was running wild.

It was Wednesday. Drill day. Every Wednesday when we were not in battle, my men and I had drill day. We went through the basic fundamentals of battle. Defense, offense, blocks, attacks, etc. We also did obstacle runs and uphill runs to make us stronger, to have more endurance than our enemy. I ran circles around my men. No one could ever keep up. But today, I had nothing. Halfway through I dropped to my knees, out of breath. Out of energy. What the heck? My men teased me until they saw my face. I was pale as a ghost. I fell on my back and grabbed my cut arm. It felt like it was on fire. My heart was racing. My men picked me up and we walked back to town. What was going on?

Then I heard the voice again, you can not win this one.

You don’t know who I am, I conquer everything and everyone, I replied to no one.

The next day we were attacked like we had never been attacked. So many demons. The battle lasted for two days and I made many mistakes. I could not think straight. I could not lead my men, I had no strength to do so. I should’ve put my second in command to the front, to lead, but I was too proud. I kept telling myself I can get through this like I have so many other battles. But this wasn’t like any other battle. We won but we lost a lot of men. A lot of good men and it’s all on me.

The fevers kept coming, my head was on fire. My heart beat irregularly. I couldn’t catch my breath if I walked more than a minute. Yet, I was too stubborn to see the sorceress or the doctor. Only weak people go to them. But yet, I could not shake what was happening to me.

You can not win this one.

I was getting sick of this voice. But I was getting more worried about the shape I was in. My people needed me, my town needed me. I had to give up and seek help. I could not do this on my own. I went to the doctor and all their fancy machines, medicine, and spells. I listened closely, the rest of my life depended on what they told me I had to do.

I am slowly getting better, but I have let others lead my men to battle. I have taken a step back so I can take a few steps forward. It is a long road to recovery, but the doctors say I will make it.

I have come to realize that I am only a mortal man. A man who knows I can only be immortal when I pass this from this life to meet my maker.

Image result for fighting in illness

As I was writing part of this, I was listening to the new Building 429 cd and this song came on. Funny how God works.

Joy Unspeakable by Building 429-

Soul’s Anthem ( It Is Well) by Tori Kelly –

Miracle Or Not by Alisa Turner –

More Than Gonna Make It by Alisa Turner –

Long Year by Jackie Lee –

Where Are You?

On October 26, 2020October 20, 2020 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Short story2 Comments

I walked through this town I love so much and couldn’t believe my eyes. Everywhere I looked the city was in ruins. Every corner had something else wrong. Every block I walked all I saw was confusion. I went into my favorite store and had to take a step back. Something wasn’t right.

The buildings were still there. The architecture as beautiful as ever. It was the people. They were all walking around like robots. No one smiled. They all had the same blank stare. What happened to them? It’s like they were all….lost.

I smiled at a child. She smiled back. The mom looked at me like I was trying to kidnap her child. I smiled at her also but only received a glare in return.

I pulled out my phone to see if I missed some news on what is going on. I looked on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but nothing. All I saw were pictures of people smiling. Posts about how great their lives were. Tweets about how happy they are. I looked up over my phone and didn’t see that.

I decided to reach out to the 87,654 friends/followers I have on social media. No one responded. I was getting concerned so I decided to text the 70 people in my contact list that I never call and talk to. Again, no one responded.

I decided to go get a hamburger and some fries and try to figure out what is happening. After I ate, I didn’t feel so well. Come to find out the hamburger I ate was laced with steroids and synthetic hormones that has caused hormonal cancer rates to rise. Then I found out this is banned in Europe, Japan, Australia and China but yet we serve it in my town.

I then decided to get something to drink. I couldn’t decide between Coke, Pepsi or Gatorade. I looked on the label and noticed all of them contained brominated vegetable oil. From my science days I knew bromine was used as a flame retardant. This builds up in our bodies and can cause nerve damage, memory loss, and other issues. This has also been banned in over 100 countries, including Europe and Japan but here it is in my town. I then found out that bromine is used in some of the breads I eat.

I see young children running around the streets like they don’t have a care. I see them getting what they want, doing what they want, taking what they want. Weren’t they taught to earn what they get? Weren’t they taught that sometimes waiting for something is better than getting it instantly? Where are the parents?

I stood on the corner and yelled as loud as I could “God, help me!” I knew God was here somewhere but I could not find Him. The corner across from me had people yelling “God does not exist. He is not here and never has been. There is no God.” I yelled right back. “My God is here. He does exists. He has always been here.” Next thing I know I am being told I can’t talk about God here. I protested and asked why can they say there is no God but I can’t say there is. I was told because they have the right of religious freedom.

It was time for me to take a walk. Try to clear my head. What was happening here?

God, are you there? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why is my town turning into this? Why are people hurting inside but pretend they are okay? Why are people doing wrong and don’t even act like it bothers them? Why, God, are you letting this happen?

God, where are you?

I ran and ran as far as I could. When I stopped I saw the most amazing bright light. I had never seen anything like it. A breeze picked up and I heard, “where are you?” I looked around but didn’t see anyone. Then I heard it again, “where are you?”

Then that voice said “I have searched for you. I have called out to you. I have rescued you from the depths of sin many times. I have forgiven you. Why do you hide in shame from me? Why do you run from me? Why do you only question me in the worst times of your life? Why do you not think of me in the best times? What is this you have done? Why are you here in this place? Who told you I wasn’t here? Who told you I didn’t love you?”

Then the bright light disappeared and was replaced with a mirror. I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection. I then only had one question to ask myself.

Where are you?

Never Alone by Barlow Girl –

Don’t Let Go by Josh Wilson –

Not To Us by Nichole Nordeman –

I Question You by Lily Messer (and me) –

In My Room by Thousand Foot Krutch –

Revelation by Third Day –

If I Could Talk To God by Alice Peacock –

Beer With Jesus by Thomas Rhett –

If I Talk To God by The Last Goodnight –

God Of This City by Chris Tomlin –

God Can You Hear Me by Tait –

The Opening Act of Spring by Frank Turner –

I Do Not Fight Alone

On October 24, 2020October 20, 2020 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God, God is there, Short story4 Comments

Image result for god is proud of you

Society wants me to conform. I will not conform.

I have had enough. I could not take It anymore. I had tried and tried but no one would go with me. If no one will go with me, I will do it alone.

I don’t see things any differently than anyone else. They all see the world is falling apart. The difference is I couldn’t sit still and watch it get worse. I couldn’t stay quiet and let the evil keep talking.

You know what they say, there is no God, he isnt here, he doesnt care. If there was a God then why….If there was a God then where was he when….

Well, didn’t we ask him to leave? We took him out of schools, court, any kind of gathering. We let the minority rule. If one person doesn’t like it then no one can enjoy it. It’s no wonder suicides have increased, opioid epidemic, mass shootings, over the counter meds for anxiety, divorce.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

I left to face the demons on my own. It wasn’t long before they had gathered to defeat me.

I drew my sword and drew a line in the sand.

I said, “If you are not a believer, you can not cross this line.”

The demons smiled at me as they approached the line. “My dearest friend, do you not know, even we demons believe.”

The demons crossed the line and I took a step back. The demons drooled and laughed. “So, friend , you do fear us.”

To their surprise, I then took a step forward with a smile on my face.

“I am not your friend.”

I knew what they did not. The demons hesitated for a second but that’s all I needed.

I drew my sword but it was only for a diversion. The demons attacked.

The demons were so consumed with me that they didn’t notice the warrior angels that had surrounded them.

Related image Image result for 2 Kings 6:17

Walk On Water by 30 Seconds To Mars-

What It Comes Down To Me Is Me by Mark Bishop-

Fight Forever by Anthem Lights –

Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin –

Fighting For Us by Michael Farren –

The Haunted House

On October 20, 2020October 19, 2020 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Short storyLeave a comment

Animated Haunted House animated house gif halloween haunted

I have been in the house many times since the first time. The first time was when I was eight years old. I was being teased, called a chicken, and all those things kids say to each other. Triple dog dare. You can’t turn down a triple dog dare. It was the first time I opened the door. I only looked inside for a second but that was enough. The door had been opened and my future was doomed.

I soon started visiting the house more than I would like to admit. Always by myself of course. I couldn’t let my friends know what I was doing. Each time I went in I would find a new room to explore. It was fascinating at first. All these new things I was finding meant I was also learning more about myself. I thought I was being brave. Anytime something would happen to me I would run to the solitude of the house. Only in the day time though. Never at night.

At night you could always find me in my own house. Safe, warm and comfortable. My parents loved me and I felt safe in my house. Of course you could say as many times as I was visiting the so-called haunted house that it became my home away from home. My place to go to be alone and collect my thoughts. Leave some of my thoughts there. Come out a new person, but I left a part of me in that house each time I went.

It wasn’t long before I was sneaking out of my home and going to my haunted house at night. I couldn’t help it. I loved being the only one there. The only one that knew I was spending so much time there was me. I loved that sometimes when I went there would be a new room or two to explore. I never questioned how they got there. Part of the mystery of a haunted house I thought.

I started to withdraw from my friends so I could spend more time there. I could explore my house for hours on end, always something new but I could also go back and remember. Remember the who, what, why, where and when of the first time I opened this door or that door. Remember when I was so scared I slammed that door closed, only to peek back in a few weeks later. No door was ever sealed shut. I could visit anytime I would visit the house.

The problem came when I couldn’t resist the house anymore. It just kept luring me in. Like it was calling out to me. Come on in, it is safe here. You don’t need anyone else. Just you and your thoughts, that’s all you need. No one will hurt you in here.

Comfort. I found comfort in that house. I should’ve bought the place and moved in. Saved me from going there all the time. It was on one of these trips that I met someone. A man like I had never met before. He told me to stop going to the haunted house. There is nothing there for me. How did he know was my first thought? My second thought was who cares who he is. This was my world and my house and he was just an intruder. Another person out to get me.

A couple days later I was going back to the house and there he was. Sitting on the front steps. The same steps I first went up when I was eight, except they didn’t look so scary anymore. They almost looked warm and inviting. Anyway, back to my guest. There he was. “How did you get here,” I asked. “I’ve been watching you for years,” he said. What kind of person is this? I then bluntly told him to leave. He wasn’t welcome here. He told me he couldn’t do that. He was here to help me leave this place, leave it for good.

No way. This is my place. My home. He had no right to ask me to leave it.

But he got me thinking. In my experience, that is never a good thing. I would rather just go to my house and leave my thoughts in one of the rooms.

I walked on by him and he got up and followed me in. “Look at your prison,” he said. “My prison? This is my house,” I corrected him. “No”, he said, “I have a much better house for you. Want to see it?”

“Not really sure,” I said, “I like this place.”

“Here take my hand and I will show you,” he said. I don’t know why but I reached out for his hand and….all the doors opened. All the doors in my house flew open and everything that was in them came pouring out.

I screamed, “let me go!!” I pulled my hand away and ran. This wasn’t my house. How did all these things get in here? Why was he letting them all out? I tried to shut the doors but they would not close. I fell to my knees and let them overtake me. But they didn’t touch me. They all poured into him. He took them all. All my good and all my bad. All my pretty and all my ugly. They all poured into him.

I watched, mesmerized. It seemed like it lasted for hours but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. How could I let all this stuff in my house? I watched as everything flew out. Things I forgot I put in the rooms. Things that kept me a prisoner in my house. Fear, lots of rooms full of fear. Anxiety, worry, hurt all leaving my house. Negative thoughts and lies I believed to numb the pain all gone. Depression, shame, guilt- all gone. Anger and hate, see you later. Regrets, doubts about who I am, lies, distrust, unforgiveness, all gone.

You might ask what was left but you already know. Love was left. A love that told me I didn’t need to live in this house. A love that told me I was forgiven. A love that showed me who I am. A love that told me to unlock those doors and throw away the key. A love that told me my house isn’t haunted. A love that told me I could’ve left that house anytime I wanted. A love that told me I never had to build that house.

Mansion by NF –

My Own Prison by Creed –

Empire In My Mind by The Wallflowers –

Demons by Imagine Dragons –

Baptize My Mind by Jon Foreman –

Change Your Mind by Sister Hazel –

Keep Your Mind Wide Open by Annasophia Robb –

Outta My Mind by Anthem Lights –

Voices by Sumerlin –

March Out Of The Darkness by Papa Roach –

Out Of Mind by Queensryche –

The Maze

On October 8, 2020October 15, 2021 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God, God can change your life, Lost in a maze, Short storyLeave a comment

I was shivering. Strange, since when I went to bed I put an extra blanket on and set the thermostat to heat up the house at 6:00. I then realized I was also wet. I startled awake only to realize I wasn’t in my warm bed. I was in some type of… give me a minute to look around. I was in some type of maze. Confused, bewildered, baffled, were some of the words that came to mind. I had to be dreaming, but I wasn’t.

I yelled out, but no one answered. I did the only thing I could and started to walk. Around this bend, turn left here, turn right there, dead end, start again. I then saw a note up ahead. I read it: If you have ever lied turn left at the next turn. Well yeah I have lied, who hasn’t? I came to the turn and went left. After about 40 yards or so I found another note. If you have ever stolen anything, turn left again. Unfortunately, I had to turn left. I kept walking for another 30 yards and yet another note. If you have ever dishonored your mother or father turn left again. Well, to be honest I am sure I have but if I did maybe it was just something little like talking back or missing curfew. Guess my answer was already made for me because the only way I could turn was left.

I know I just walked in a square but yet I was someplace new. Hanging up at the end of this walkway was a mirror. As soon as I looked into it I heard the voices. You are ugly. You aren’t good enough. No one likes you. Your kids don’t even like you. Look at your body, what have you done to it. You are a disgrace. Why are you even alive?

I covered my face with my hands and ran. I ran as fast and as far as I could but I could not get the voices out of my head. I came to another intersection.

Have you ever committed adultery? Well. Not physically. Then another voice: that doesn’t matter. Have you or haven’t you? Okay, yes I have! Correct. Go right.

Image result for corn maze

Have you ever murdered someone? Of course not, I said. Are you sure about that? Yes, I am positive on that one. Then the images came to me like it was yesterday. The girl I talked into sleeping with me. She was so young and innocent. I wanted her. She said no but eventually I wore her down and she gave in. I murdered a piece of her that night. I murdered a piece of the boy I used to make fun of because he wasn’t like me. Oh God! Make this stop. Good try! God isn’t here and he isn’t coming. This is my world and you are just a pawn in it. Go right.

Have you ever worshiped someone other than your so called God? Have you ever used your so called Gods name in vain? Have you ever …. GO RIGHT I SAID!

NO!! I screamed. I don’t have to listen to you. I don’t have to go where you want me to. I can break this. I can walk away. You are a liar.

No, you can’t. Remember you are a nobody. No one likes you, except me. You are what I need to change this world. YOU can follow me, YOU can rule the world with me. YOU can turn stones into bread. YOU can jump off a building and angels will catch you. I can make you into the most powerful person in this world. TURN RIGHT!!

No, that’s where you are wrong. I don’t want to be the most powerful person in the world. I don’t need to be liked by everyone because I know God loves me. I don’t need your lies. I just need to follow the truth. With that last word I sprinted as fast as I could, to the left, and ran and ran for what seemed like days. I didn’t realize that the maze was disappearing as I ran. I was breaking free from the chains that bind me. By the time I stopped it was all gone.

I fell to the ground. Exhausted. Sweating. Breathing hard. I didn’t hear the footsteps come up beside me. Maybe there wasn’t any. I heard his voice. The one I have heard many times throughout my life but ignored. I felt him kneel beside me. I felt his hand on mine. I heard him say well done. I heard him say I love you. I heard him say I want you. I heard him say you belong with me.