Rants and Raves

On November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Batkid, Christian life, El Nino, Life Insurance, music6 Comments

What a difference a year makes. Last year I was done Christmas shopping at this time, this year I have not started.

Here are some pics from November 17, 2014 : cold and 5 inches of snow.

versus Novemeber 17, 2015 : 60 degrees and running outside in shorts and t-shirt, at least I did. Wife was cold and ran with jacket.

Who knows what next year will bring. Maybe I will still be writing these posts, maybe I won’t. Maybe I will be running full strength (Marathon, 1/2 Marathon races), maybe I won’t. Maybe I will be alive, maybe I won’t. I do not know the future, only God does so whatever He has in store for me, I will be along for the ride.

I am thankful for the warm weather we have had for so long this fall. However, I recognize the destruction El Nino is causing with floods in the south and droughts around the world. Billions of dollars in damage world wide.

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You have seen pics of me on here.

Do I look obese to you? We had to renew our life insurance policies and because life insurance companies determine your risks by BMI, which is a joke, I am considered obese and have to pay higher rates. I am 6′ 220 lbs. Here is a pic of Adrian Peterson, running back for Minnesota Vikings who is 6’1″ 220 lbs. (Yes I know I don’t look like that but he is someone that would also have to pay higher rates for life insurance based on BMI. ) BMI does not provide actual information on body composition (i.e. the proportions of muscle, bone, fat, and other tissues that make up a person’s total body weight), and may not be the most appropriate indicator to determine health status for certain groups of people, yet that is what insurance companies use for everyone.

(photo credit Muscle & Fitness Magazine)

For me to be the “ideal weight” for my height I am told to weigh 180 lbs for BMI. I would be so skinny, and I would not have much muscle on me. I weighed myself on our Iron Man scale and of my 220 lbs, 182 of it is muscle, but yet I am obese. In reality, I would probably be not as healthy as I am now but I could pay lower insurance rates. Something needs to be changed in the insurance game.

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Watched this documentary this past weekend. Batkid Begins. It brought a tear to my eye because of all the people that came out to support him. It lets me think we do have some humanity in us yet. Make a Wish Foundation is a great organization that helps children experience a wish that they want.

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Are Buckeye fans, myself included, the only fans that are disappointed being 10-0? Guess when you aren’t winning by 50….

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One last thought, I am not usually political and I pray for the victims of Paris, and all the other terrorists attacks our world has seen. Remember not all Muslims are bad or good. Not all Americans are bad or good. Not all Jews are bad or good. Not all…. you get the point.

Take care and God bless.

Send Us Out by New Hope Oahu –

Pressure by Jonathan McReynolds –

Lost In The Lights by Seventh Day Slumber –

I Want To Say I’m Sorry by Andrew Peterson –

Ungrateful

On November 17, 2015February 2, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Be thankful for what you have, Christian life, help somebody, music, ungrateful7 Comments

I walked by him at least twice a day. More often than not it was closer to six times a day. He was always in the same spot, always wearing the same clothes and always staring down at the ground.

Anytime that I would walk by and I had some change I would drop it in his hat. He would never look up. He never said thank you. As a matter of fact, I never heard him say anything. I was usually on the go or on my phone or talking to my co-workers so I might not have heard him if he did, but I really don’t think he did.

Image result for picture of homeless man

After a few weeks of dropping change, I decided to do an experiment. I started off dropping one dollar bills in his hat. When he didn’t react I started dropping fives. Then I would drop a ten spot here and there. Nothing, no reaction from this guy. He didn’t even look up to see what I looked like.

I even got my co-workers involved. I had them start giving whatever they had on them to this guy. They all reported back the same thing that I experienced. No acknowledgement that we even existed. No thank you. Nothing. We had to be giving him enough to pay for rent somewhere. Or at least buy some new clothes.

Many months passed. It was getting close to Thanksgiving. I had a really good year financially. Even got myself a promotion. Life was good. I was doing some early Christmas shopping and decided I would buy this guy a winter coat. I even put a hundred dollars in the pocket. I put the jacket down beside him on my way to work. Again, no acknowledgement.

I had enough. I was finally going to talk to this guy. I was going to ask him what his problem was. Why couldn’t he even say thanks. Why couldn’t he at least look up and give me a nod at least. Give me something man. I have been giving to you for over six months now.

As luck would have it though I was tied up in important meetings all day. I had to have lunch catered because I couldn’t get out of the office. When I left that day he wasn’t there. For the first time in as long as I can remember he wasn’t there.

The next morning he wasn’t there either. Same thing at lunch. Same thing on my way home. The entire week was the same. He was no where to be found.

The next week a lady came into my office. She asked for me by name. How did she know my name? Anyway, turns out she was the sister of this man. She told me how Jim, her brother, that was the guys name, had cancer and it took a turn for the worse. He passed away last week. He left a note for her to give to me. I asked how she knew about me. She said it was all in the note.

She also told me more about his story. One night Jim, his wife and kids went out to eat and on their way home they were hit by a drunk driver. Jim was the only one that survived. He never recovered. He never talked again. She never learned if it was trauma from the accident or by choice. Jim just checked out of this world.

I couldn’t believe what I heard. How come I never talked to him? Was I too lost in my own world to reach out to him? Did I think I was better than him? This was another human being and all I did was threw money at him. I didn’t even try to get to know him.

After his sister left I went to my office and opened the letter.

Dear Rob,

I know your name because I listened when you walked by me. I know you are married and have four girls. Congrats on your promotion by the way. I know all of this from listening to you talk on your cell phone. By listening to you talk to your co-workers.

I wanted to thank you for all you gave me. I wanted you to know that I listened because I cared about you. I listened waiting for you to say something to me. I listened, and waited for you to acknowledge me.

I would give you everything you gave me back to you if you would’ve said a single word to me. I would rather have had a friendship with you than your money. I wished you would’ve got to know me. I wasn’t always this way.

I heard you talk about God to your co-workers as you were leaving the building. I heard you thank Jesus when you got your promotion. I heard you talk about hope and faith to your wife in one of your talks. I would’ve liked to know more about God but you didn’t share him with me.

Take care,

Jim

All this time I thought he was ungrateful. What I have come to realize is how ungrateful I am. I realize how I take my life, my wife, my children, my friends, my health, my job for granted. I didn’t realize how lucky I am. No longer. I now realize how quickly all that can be taken away from me.

I also came to realize that I don’t share God or my beliefs with anyone outside my circle. I am not spreading the good news of my savior like I should.

For that, I will always be grateful for ungrateful Jim. I only wish I would’ve taken the time to get to know him.

Guilty by Newsboys – I am guilty of not speaking of God enough. I want to be guilty for sharing it.

Pray For Me by Kirk Franklin –

Lean On Me by Comsumed By Fire –

Brother by NeedToBreathe –

Moments by Emerson Drive –

Help Somebody by Van Zant –

If I Can Dream by Elvis Presley –

Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw –

Hello God

On November 16, 2015November 16, 2015 By roberthansen1317In asking God questions, Christian life, Hello God, music, talking to God11 Comments

Hello God,

I just wanted to take a minute and write to you. Not for me, but for you. I don’t need anything today and I am thankful for everything you have done for me. I just wanted to write you to ask how you are.

So God, how are you? I know I would not want to be you. I can’t imagine what you have to go through on a daily basis. Everyone doubting if you really exist. People worshiping you one day then condemning you the next. Everyone destroying this world you made for us to live on. I know I have caused you a lot of headaches. For that I am truly sorry.

How is Heaven God? What a joy it must be to spend your days with all those wonderful people. I know I can’t imagine what it is like to have all those people that believe in you. Most days I can count the people I think believe in me on one hand.

This is harder than I thought it would be. I want you to know that I truly want to know how you are but I keep going back to me. Of course that probably goes back to the introvert in me. I am not good asking questions about other people. It’s not that I don’t care but you know that. Hey God, you can’t complain, you made me this way.

Do you get tired? Do you hurt when you see the evil in this world? Do you get so frustrated with us that you just want to end it all sometimes? I look around at what is around me and what I see on the news and I know if I were you.. I would be like poof, end of the world. Who could blame you? But I know that’s not who you are and I know that you want as many of us to believe in you that you can so you are giving us time to do that. Plus, I know there is a lot of good in this world also. We just don’t see it because it doesn’t sell. What if it did sell though? Hmm, there is an idea God. Help me to figure out a way to sell the good news of this world. The every day heroes that don’t look for recognition. The ones that help the least of us. We can fill of 30 minutes of news easily. Maybe if more people started seeing good on the news, more people would start doing good.

God, who would you want to eat dinner with? Is there that one person in this world that you look at and think this person gets it? Knowing you the way I do you would probably pick the person who is a complete mess. Good luck finding just one of us. We, including myself, are pretty messed up if you ask me.

Do you have a favorite hymn or song? Are you happy that you made us? Do you think it was worth sacrificing your son Jesus for us? Do you go to your room and just cry for us sometimes? Do you like jokes? Have you ever made something then went oops? Like the platypus or naked mole rat or ?

How do you do it all? Would you do things over again if you could? Wait a minute, you could. Don’t answer that. Do you have a favorite place here on earth that you like to visit? How often do you visit? Do you think anyone ever recognizes you? I know there have been times in my life that I thought that was you but then you were gone. Was that you?

Well God, I know you are busy so I will let you go. I pray you are doing well and that you are filled with joy for us. You are truly an amazing, wonderful, loving, caring friend and I don’t know where I would be without you.

P.S. Say hello to my dad and my grandparents and friends that are there with you. Two more questions. Do you pray for me? What do you want me to do today?

Dear Mr. God by The Warren Brothers –

Maintain by Jonathan McReynolds feat Chantae Cann – This wasn’t a song I had planned for today but I heard it this morning and it spoke to me.

In My Room by Thousand Foot Krutch – I know I have included this on several posts but this is a song that just really speaks to me. I included one with lyrics this time. My favorite line “I’ve never prayed so can we just talk” –

Questions by Steven Curtis Chapman –

Letter To God by Duncan James –

Dear God by FM Static –

Hey God by Lonestar –

Red Letter Day by NewSong –

Counting Blue Cars by Dishwalla –

Beer With Jesus by Thomas Rhett –

Me and God by Josh Turner –

New, forgotten, unknown 11/13/15 – New Music Friday

On November 13, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian, Christian life, country, gospel, new music Friday, pop, rockLeave a comment

A few more musician followers this week. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thank for the follows.

Have a great friday.

Your Daddy’s Town by Clay Mobley –

God Is Able (cover ) by Rachel Renee Gould –
http://www.rachelreneeworship.com/music

Better Things by Champion of the Sun – https://soundcloud.com/championofthesun/better-things-demo

Some music from non-followers I have been listening to this week :

Both Of Us by Avant –

Beating Me Up by Rachel Platten –

Beautiful Life by Nick Fradiani –

Bitter Pill by Gavin James –

Blind Faith by Def Leppard –

Bring It On by Seventh Day Slumber –

Christ Representers by Jonathan McReynolds –

Greater Together by New Hope Oahu –

Crazy Beautiful by Skylar Stecker –

Dance In The Rain by Jana Kramer –

Giants by Matt Nathanson –

Do You Really Need Her by Harry Connick Jr. –

Fall Out Of Love by Turnpike Troubadors –

Girl You Think I Am by Carrie Underwood –

and our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

I Am With You Daughter

On November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Be there, Christian life, Fathers-Daughters, God your Father, music, Parenting6 Comments

A daughter needs a Dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men.: I would love to see this pic with my nieces and my bro. Or just the girls!:

(Two of my daughters, note to self : I need some currents of Kelsey and Kirstie)

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Parents listen up, especially fathers. You have a vital role in how your children are raised. You can build your children up or tear them down. You can support, encourage, discipline them or you can enable, discourage and belittle them. You can show them how they should be treated and loved or you can leave them with so low esteem they fall for the guys that abuse them.

How do you treat their mother? You can lead them to God or away from God. Do you make time for them? Take them on dates? (Something I have failed at doing if I am honest- the date part, I make time for them.) You will be the standard for how your daughter sees all men in her life. You will be the standard for how your son sees how he should treat women.

Do you work 70 hours a week and have children say my dad never was there for me? When you get home what is the first thing you do? I try, and sometimes I fail, to first kiss my wife, their mom, so they can see the love their parents have. Then I ask our one daughter who is still at home about her day. Ask her what she wants to do. Play football, watch tv, play games, whatever it is I try to do. We wrestle ( I am Triple D- Doctor Death Daddy and Kylie is El Cupachabra) and I teach her self defense and what to do when attacked from behind, all while she thinks we are just play fighting. Yes, I just got home and yes, I have stuff to do but what could be more important?

I am for you daughters, and I will always be here for you. No matter what roads we go down or if we get lost, we will find our way together. I am sorry for the times I let you down but I love you more than anything in this world.

A letter from a daughter to her dad is always special. We have one such special letter today at your Adda. Kavya, beautifully written.: Never let me go Daddy, oh Father:

As a father, you are a teacher, provider, coach, protector, playmate, role-model, etc etc. It is a big responsibility. One you can not do on your own. You need help from our one true Father in Heaven. No matter how good or how bad a father I am there is one Father who will not let you down.

He is always there for you and for your children. Here is another article from the Loop that I wanted to share. If you listen to the songs at the bottom do you want to be like the first set (before and including Good Good Father) or the last set of songs.

I Am With You On This Road

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

My daughter, you are no mistake. I made you with intention, I made you with your face in my mind, your voice in my ears. I made you with a name and with grace and with gifts only yours—your gifts my very gift to you.

You are not made with a pressure to perform, with an expectation to achieve. You are not made with a heaviness to bear around your neck, a weight to carry, a weariness of long days one after another.

I know the way with Me can feel hard. I know this road feels long. I am with you on the road, my dear. I am with you on this road.

Take steps now, where you can no longer see. Reach your hand out now, for I long to grab yours and hold tight. Lift those shoulders now; let me take that burden you carry.

Can you see me taking it? Can you see my hands upon your shoulders, the weight being lifted off? Can you feel shackles being cut? Can you feel the things you can’t, with your eyes, see?

I am for you, my child. And I do not ask you to go places where I will not be. Only go where I am. Even though you can’t see the next steps, I do. And I go ahead, and I know when the path is clear.

Just follow Me, my daughter. I know this road, this one marked out for you. You have choices about where to go, whether to turn right or to turn left. But ask Me where I am. And trust I give you recognition for the One who made you, for the One who designed your heart, for the One who knows His daughter and the details of the road, for her, ahead.

The Girl You Think I Am by Carrie Underwood –

Just Fishin by Trace Adkins –

Watching You by Rodney Atknis –

King Of The World by Point Of Grace –

Hidden by United Pursuit –

Lead Me by Sanctus Real –

Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin –

Father Of Mine by Everclear –

Father by Demi Lovato –

Cat’s In The Cradle by Harry Chapin –

Emotionless by Good Charlotte –

No Son Of Mine by Genesis –

Happy Veterans Day

On November 11, 2015November 11, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, Veterans Day1 Comment

In honor of my dad and all that have served so that we can be free.

happy veterans day to all who served to keep America free and what She is today. God bless you all: veterans day pictures | Happy Veterans Day - Cooking In Stilettos™: Veterans Day - A Declaration of Thanks - dayspring.com:

The Flag by Carman –

Eagle Cried by Jason Billington –

Somebody Who Would Die For You by Tracy Lawrence –

Some Gave All by Billy Cyrus –

The Turkey

On November 10, 2015November 16, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Be happy with who you are, Christian life, music, Thanksgiving, turkey, Who God made you to be9 Comments

The Aztecs of Mexico domesticated the Mexican subspecies of the wild turkey (called guajolotes). Spanish explorers took some of these back to Europe in the mid-16th Century where they became common farmyard animals. These domestic turkeys eventually completed the circuit and came back to North American turkey farms from Europe.:

This is a story about a turkey. However, this was not an ordinary turkey. This turkey did not want to be a turkey. He wanted to be an eagle.

He often thought to himself, “self, I do not like myself. Self, this is one boring life I live.” Day after day he would trot around the yard with all his turkey friends gobbling gobbling and gobbling. He would eat all the food that was given to him and he would watch himself getting fatter and fatter.

He would look to the sky and see the eagles flying around. Soaring above the trees. “So beautiful,” he thought. “I want to be like that. I want to be majestic. I want to be an icon. I want people to look at me with awe. I want to be a national symbol and for people to look at with me with thanksgiving in their hearts.”

Majestic bald eagle over the Des Moines RIver in Iowa:

As much as he flapped his wings he could not get off the ground. It wasn’t that he did not practice, because he did. Some days that was all he did. He would run around the yard flapping his wings, never to get more than a foot or so off the ground. “God, why would you give me wings but not let me fly very well? Why would you let me see the eagles soar but not let me join them?”

Many of his less ambitious friends would talk behind his back. “Who does he think he is?” “Look at that fool trying to fly like an eagle!” “Doesn’t he realize he will never be anything other than what he is?”

Many days and months passed by and nothing ever changed for the turkey. Every day it was the same thing. Wake up, eat, walk around the yard, eat, try to fly. Every day he would ask the same questions. “Why God why? I want to be more than this. I want people to look at me in awe and be thankful that I am here. I want people to love me.”

Soon the weather started to get colder. Many days people would come and grab some of his friends and he would never see them again. The turkey continued to eat and grew bigger and bigger. One day a family came and walked around the yard looking for the perfect turkey. They found one in the turkey of our story.

The father looked at his family and said, “This turkey is beautiful. He will be the perfect symbol for our thanksgiving dinner .” The little girl looked at the turkey and said “I love you turkey. You are so beautiful.”

The turkey gobbled and gobbled. He was so happy. “Finally,” he thought, ” I am being appreciated. I may not be flying like an eagle yet but at least people are seeing me as special.”

The turkey was taken to the family’s home where he was promptly killed and cooked for dinner. Before they ate the family prayed. “Thank you God for this wonderful meal. Especially this beautiful turkey. We will forever remember this turkey in our hearts on this national holiday.”

List of 25 Thanksgiving Turkey Recipes - Photo Gallery | SAVEUR. I don't have a Turkey board so I am placing these under the Chicken one:

You see, God gave the turkey everything he asked for. He was looked at with awe and beauty. He was a national symbol. The people gave thanks from their hearts for the turkey. He was made exactly how God wanted him to be and exactly how he wanted to be seen. He just didn’t realize that who he was was exactly who he wanted to be.

What do you ask God for? Have you ever asked for a pure heart? Have you ever asked God to show you the way to be more like Him? Or are all of your asks and wants more about you? Have you ever thanked God for who you are, for who He made you to be?

More Alive by Pillar –

All I Need To Be by Fireflight –

This Is Who I Am by Shane and Shane –

God Follower by Steven Curtis Chapman –

I See God In You by Josh Wilson –

This Is Who I Am by Third Day –

God, We Need To Talk

On November 9, 2015February 2, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God I am Tired, God we need to talk, I am in a hurricane, music, thankful, Why can't I be thankful13 Comments

God, we need to talk! This isn’t working for me. I have been doing everything you are asking me to. I am stressed, going insane, and a complete mess. I didn’t think this was how following you was supposed to be. Yes, I know it’s not all roses and champagne but I am lost. I don’t know how much longer I can stand in this hurricane on my own. The rain and winds are battering me, beating me down. Everytime I get a step up, I get knocked two steps back. God, why are you letting this happen to me? Can you not give me a day of relief?

Image result for hurricane winds

Why now God? I had been doing so well hadn’t I? I could feel you with me. I could feel your presence just a short time ago. I called upon you and you were there. Everytime I would feel you I would feel like my heart was going to bounce out of my chest. I honestly would have tears in my eyes. Then, like that, you were gone and you haven’t been back. I feel like I am falling down a bottomless pit. I keep reaching up but I can’t find your hand. Where are you God?

To top it all off it is the start of the holiday season. Just when everyone else is getting in the spirit, I am falling apart. I am thankful for this. I am thankful for that. Blah blah blah. I don’t want to be harsh God but what do I have to be thankful for? I am at an all-time low. The winds are tossing and tumbling me about. I have been fighting, but God I am tired. I am tired of fighting. How can I fight an endless barrage of turmoil? How can I fight the insults? How can I fight the gossip? You know I have a hard time trusting people and now that wall is coming back up. We fought so hard to knock it down and we were doing a wonderful job but the more people I meet and the more I get out of my comfort zone, the more bricks are being put on the wall. Why do I do this? Why can’t I just trust people? Why can’t I just trust You? Why do I keep trying to do things my way?

Why am I so frustrated? With everything. Why can’t I appreciate what I have? Why can’t I be thankful?

Relocate. I need to relocate. Relocate my thoughts. If the hurricane is in my mind, I need to relocate my thoughts. Okay God, let’s give this a shot.

I am frustrated at my running injuries. It is getting me down. It has been two years since I have been able to run full speed. I am able to run but it is so much slower than I used to run. I am thankful I can run at all. It wasn’t that long ago that I couldn’t run because of the pain. Now I am starting all over again. I am not as fast as I used to be. Heck, I weigh twenty pounds more than I did then. God, help me to slowly lose the weight and slowly get faster and have more endurance.

I am depressed because this is a bad time of year for me. When the impossible became possible a few years ago. I am thankful our marriage is still together. I am thankful our family is still together. I am thankful that you ,God, were here in the midst of all of the pain and the rebuilding.

I am angry at certain people in my life. People that keep trying to throw me under the bus. People that believe the lies they are being told. They know the person I am and that I would never do those things but yet… I am thankful I have people in my life that believe in me. People that know who I am and that I don’t have to prove myself to them.

Well now that I read this over God, I don’t have much to complain about. A lot of people have it worse than me. I am sorry. Help them first. I will wait.

God, even though I have doubts about what you are doing in my life, I am thankful that you are in my life. Even though I wonder where you are, I am thankful that I can see you all around me. I am thankful I have eyes to see the beauty of the world you made around me. I am thankful I have ears to hear the beautiful sounds. I am thankful I have arms and legs. I am thankful I have a mind, even though it can be delusional. I am thankful I have a wife, a family, a home, food to eat, and a job to go to.

God, I want to tell you I am most thankful for you. Thank you for listening. I was a little upset earlier but just talking to you has helped. I should’ve done that a long time ago instead of letting all this fester inside me.

God, take me where you want me to go. I pray that I will follow and be thankful for where we end up. God, give me words to speak . I pray that I will use them wisely and that they will help others in this world. God, give me heart of gratitude. Give me an appreciation of thankfulness for what I have. Thank you for loving me enough to die for me.

I will try to remember all the good you have done for me when I am in times of trouble. I will try to remember that these times will make me stronger. I will be thankful that you are there through all of it. Thank you God for forgiving me when I doubt, for loving me when I hate, and for all the wrong I do when I am just me. I want to be more like you. Thank you God for giving me that chance.

Hurricane by Natalie Grant –

Hurricane by Lifehouse –

Hurricanes by 7eventh Time Down –

Hurricane by Samestate –

Hurricane by Emerson Hart –

Hello Hurricane by Switchfoot –

Hurricane by Jimmy Needham –

Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns –

Hurricane by Shonlock –

Butteflies and Hurricanes by The Muse –

New, forgotten, unknown 11/06/15 – New Music Friday

On November 6, 2015November 27, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian, Christian life, country, gospel, music, new music Friday, pop, rock2 Comments

Have a great friday.

Sweet Caroline (cover) by Navaka Fernando –

Make You Proud by Jacey Jasnoch –

Sky Arts Guitar Solo by Gab Zsapka –

Some non-followers I have been listening to this week.

Note To Self by Ben Rector – this entire cd is good, I had never heard of Ben before but after hearing this cd I went and checked out his earlier cds.

Waitin’ On A Plane by Maddie and Tae –

All Over Again by Stryper –

Someday You’ll Be A Story by Melee –

Dancing All Around It by Mike Ryan –

Rescue Me by Digital Summer –

Home Movies by David Cook –

Gotta Get To Jesus by The Collingsworth Family –

Somewhere In Stockholm by Avicii –

Singing To Strangers by The Wood Brothers –

Father by Demi Lovato –

Run This Town by Corb Lund –

Soldier On by Sidewalk Prophets –

Stronger by Building 429 –

Where I Am Now by Don Henley –

Teach Me How To Love by John P Kee –

Wedding Ring by Glen Hansard –

Winner by Denise Renee –

and our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

Learning From Disappointments Part 2 – from my wife Kim, NYC Marathon runner

On November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, disappointments, God defines you, marathon running, motivation, music, running, TCS NYC Marathon11 Comments

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Well here I am home from NYC. Be prepared for a long read. As you know I was thrilled to find out that last year running the Columbus Marathon that I qualified for NYC marathon and Boston. I do what I love to do and it is to run. I ran my long runs and ran the NYC marathon on our treadmill (we have one of the ifit google map ones where we can run anywhere in the world) over and over again. I was also battling my back issues with L3-4 injury along with bulging disc. Went on with training and starting to have hamstring issues and glute issues as well. I just kept training and icing. There were times while training my runs would consist of my left leg buckling under me on the road or on treadmill. The only way I can explain it is I felt at times that I was going to fall. I continued to fuel ( w/ Arbonne) and eat clean, like I always do. I wanted to do my best when NYC was here. I was aiming for 3:30 finish time. I did Columbus in 3:42 so why not do better. I can say that NYC is a tough course! It was truly an experience from getting up at 4 am to walking to the subway to get to Staten Island Ferry and catch the ferry at 6am to then get on a bus to take us to the start. Once off the bus you then walk to your village to stay there and wait for your wave. I was in the orange village. Once in your village you are just outside waiting for your start time ( mine was 9:50). Imagine being outside that long just to start a race! Just sitting on the ground keeping warm and stretching and talking to whomever or sleep. Your wave gets called and it is time. Time to pound the ground for 26.2 miles through the city of New York and crossing 5 bridges. What a true way to see the city. The start came and I was able to get some pictures when I took off. It was packed! As my race began I was feeling good. Did not feel as nervous as I thought I was going to be once it started. My first half ( 13 miles) I felt good. I thought I had a good pace going and was able to look around and take in the crowds and see some of the buildings. Then mile 14 I felt pain in my back and it would go down my left leg. That feeling of buckling under came and went throughout the rest of the race. I told myself I was not going to stop.

I knew at times I would have to walk but I was not going to stop. Then I saw him and Kylie and pointed to my leg. I knew I was done, I knew I was not going to finish in the time I wanted and it started to get to me. I was getting disappointed and in pain. I powered through and recall texting Rob “pain” around mile 19. Needless to say I finished in 4:17 ( by far my worse run). I crossed the finished line w/ mixed emotions of joy, accomplishment, sadness and disappointment. What will others think of me after I told them what I was aiming for? What will Rob think of me let alone my children Kylie, Kelsey, Kayhla and Kirstie?

I looked up into the heavens and knew that God was proud of me! That I do know!! Once crossing the line all I wanted was to get to my family. The long walk to get them was nuts. You get the malar wrap to keep you warm and then a bag of recovery fuel and food then the warm poncho. Still no family. To walk that walk and to see all the other runners with smiles or pain was overwhelming. So many runners getting help from the medics for whatever reason was nuts. I had some that came to me and asked if I was okay. I finally got to my family and it was the best feeling ever. Rob and Kylie were so sweet and loving to me as we walked back to the hotel. I still felt disappointment, and pain, as we walked.

Not much was said on the plane ride back to Ohio or the ride home. I just wanted to shower and go to bed. Monday came and I was sore and still heartbroken. I believe I slept most of the day until it was time for my training sessions in the evening. Yep, right back to work I went (I just didn’t do the workouts). I felt like a failure when my clients came but they did not see me that way, they saw me as an inspiration, they saw me as an encourager, a fighter. Why could I not see myself that way? Tuesday was not any better, ever little thing set me off and I cried. Was this going to stop? Was I going to be able to put this race behind me and let it go and move on? I knew deep down I was going to get to that point of letting it go. Maybe God was waiting for me to learn from this experience before I could move on.

As I look back on this today ( while stretched out on the couch with pain shooting down my glutes and legs) I am wondering what does God want me to take from this? I am a winner, regardless of my time, I accomplished something only others wish they could do. He is teaching me that running does not define me ( regardless of time). He is also reminding me that I have to take care of the temple ( body) he gave me, it is the only one I have. I need to take time and recover, slow down etc. something I am NOT good at by any means. I always want to run. I need to remember I have a family that counts on me and wants me around for years to come. My take away from this. I know I am playing the should of, would of, could of thoughts in my mind and beating myself up. I can not let this get the best of me. As my new friend (Theresa) told me don’t let it get to me, grieve over it but don’t let it eat me. Grieving I am ( maybe only a runner understands) but I know it won’t define me. I know yesterday I did not wear my medal because I was down and for that I am sorry. Like I have been hearing I am a winner, I accomplished something huge, I FINISHED!

I know I beat myself up. I know I push myself way too much. It is time to scale back and take it slow. I am going to take some time off from running and will replace it with strength training, core work, and yoga ( I have to do something). I have Boston coming up in April and I want to be healed. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement along the way. I am a winner and I know that (even though it does stink at times when I still think about it) and I know I am loved and made people proud. It truly is a tough course, I will give NYC that. I am so glad I qualified. I won’t say I will not do it again because knowing me I will be back to conquer the course. ‪#‎TCSNYCmarathon‬ .

My God let me take on the experience of a life time. This marathon, regardless of how big I thought it was, does not define me. I am a runner, regardless if I finished at 4:17, I am a marathon runner. However, even running does not define who I am. So be it I was able to qualify for awesome marathons, so be it I am able to run each and every day. That does not make who I am. What makes me is that I am a child of God and He loves me regardless of my time on a race clock or a Garmin watch. I am a mother to four beautiful girls and three grand children. I am a wife to a wonderful, devoted Christian man and they love me regardless of the time on the clock. My family needs me and I need them. They need me to be injury free so I can be there for them any hour, any minute of the day. God needs me to be His obedient servant and use my talents that He has blessed me with. The people I help overcome the fear of running a 5k (3.1 miles) for their first time in Run For God classes. My clients that I push on a daily basis for them to overcome them saying “I can’t lift this, I can’t jump that.” The elementary girls that I served as their coach in Girls On the Run. That is what God remembers, He does not remember the time on the clock, the number of laps completed. He remembers us being His children. What defines us is how we overcome our setbacks, and this was a setback for sure. I did not get my time I wanted but I finished none the less. I accomplished something huge that November morning and it will forever be etched in my brain and on my heart.

This race defined how tough and determined I am and that I can do all things when God is on my side. He is the one who got me through to the end–to finish and I thanked Him for that when I crossed. I am taking this time and allowing God to come into my soul even deeper, I know there is a reason behind His works and it is not for me (or us) to question them but to have faith and know He is here and He has walked what we have experienced. I am not a failure!! I am a winner, I am a runner and more importantly I am a child of God who loves me regardless, as so does my family. To top this all off, God works in wonderful ways, He knows my spirits were down and He knows I was getting up and dusting myself off and what arrives in my mailbox Wednesday?…..2016 Boston Marathon Confirmation of Acceptance letter. Yep, time for me to let it go, rest, heal my back and hamstring, get a doctors perspective of my injuries and what to do because I have 5 months to show that I can and will overcome and I will be that 3:30 marathoner.