Twenty Miles Past Sunrise

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Forty miles before sunrise and I’m starting to fade. The white lines are starting to blur in my headlights. I rub my eyes to try to buy a few miles.

Thirty miles before sunrise and I’m rolling down the window to get some fresh air. Yes, that’s what I need. Some fresh air. Why am I driving at this hour? I can’t even remember what I’m running from. I shake my head and adjust my seat to try to buy a few more miles.

Twenty miles before sunrise and I don’t think I’m going to make it. Wherever it is I’m trying to make it to. What the!!!!! I slam on my brakes. Why would someone be standing in the middle of the road? I look around but no one is there. I’m so tired my mind is playing tricks on me. I see another person darting out from my peripheral vision. These hallucinations are driving me crazy. What if they aren’t hallucinations?

Ten miles before sunrise and I turn the radio up. Need a song to wake me up. A song I can sing along with. I hit scan and the first song comes on. I like that old time rock n roll, that kind of music just soothes the soul. Good song but not in the mood for an oldie. The scan stops next on sports radio station. No thanks, I love sports but that is not going to keep me awake. Next stop is another oldie. U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. Well, Bono, neither have I. Neither have I. Next stop is Jason Aldean’s They Don’t Know. Oh yeah, I can do this one.

All they see is tractors, barbwire and tall green grass
They don’t see the years spent working, busting their ass
How they pray for rain
They don’t know a thing
About what it takes
Livin’ this way

They ain’t seen the blood sweat and tears it took to live their dreams
When everything’s on the line
Ain’t just another field, just another farm
No, it’s the ground we grew up on
They think it’s a middle of nowhere place where we take it slow
Aw but they don’t know
No, they don’t know

Sunrise. Look at the beauty of this sunrise. How can anyone say God doesn’t exist when they see how he paints the world each morning? Yeah I know, I have questioned God’s existence many times. Every time things don’t go my way actually. However, in this moment, when I feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the way He lights up the world, giving the world a way out of the darkness, I know He exists.  I can’t help but say out loud “God, I believe in you!”

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Ten miles after sunrise and I am thinking I should turn this car around. Face my demons for once instead of running away. I am just so tired. My brain is foggy.

Twenty miles past sunrise and I wake up with the car flipping over and over. What the heck? I must’ve fallen asleep. I come to a stop upside down in a ditch. I can’t get out and I know no one is around. I picked the most desolate place to drive, to escape my life. I smell the gasoline and I see the fire start. I know I’m going to die.

I see two men a short distance away. One dressed in red, the other in white. They look like they are in a heated argument. Don’t they see me? Help!!!, I start to scream. I see the man in white look my way. I know him from somewhere, but my head is spinning.  He says one last thing to the man in red and walks my way.

He reaches for my hand and I grab his.

The radio plays Broken Things by Matthew West.

If grace was a kingdom
I stopped at the gate
Thinking I don’t deserve to pass through after all the mistakes that I’ve made

Oh but I heard a whisper
As Heaven bent down
Said, “Child, don’t you know that the first will be last and the last get a crown”

Now I’m just a beggar in the presence of a King
I wish I could bring so much more
But if it’s true You use broken things
Then here I am Lord, I’m all Yours

The pages of history they tell me it’s true
That it’s never the perfect; it’s always the ones with the scars that You use

It’s the rebels and the prodigals; it’s the humble and the weak
All the misfit heroes You chose
Tell me there’s hope for sinners like me

Now I’m just a beggar in the presence of a King
I wish I could bring so much more
But if it’s true You use broken things
Then here I am Lord, I’m all Yours

Grace is a kingdom
With gates open wide
There’s a seat at the table just waiting for you
So, come on inside

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Broken Things by Matthew West – 

Mercy Meets My Pain by Seventh Day Slumber – 

Every Mile Mattered by Nichole Nordeman – 

You Still Love Me by James Fortune – 

I Wouldn’t Love Me by James Fortune (feat Kierra Sheard) – 

Grace Like Rain by Todd Agnew – 

The Pebble

originally posted 4/28/2016

He was rolling down the mountain at a break neck speed. He could not believe how fast he was going.  He tried to slow down, but he couldn’t figure out how. Once a pebble gets rolling, there is only one thing to stop him. He saw them in the distance but they were getting closer and closer the faster he went. There was no way to avoid the big, bad boulders so he just closed his eyes and

SMACK !!!

“Hey pebble, what do you think you are doing??!!” shouted the boulders. “Can’t you see how close to the edge we are? We have been balancing on this ledge for a very long time. We don’t need a little pebble like you messing our situation up.”

The pebble shook with fear.  He had never seen boulders that big before. “I-I-I’m ssssorry. I didn’t mean to hit you but I was going so fast I couldn’t stop. Thank you for stopping me though. Do you think I could stay here?”

The boulders answered with a stern “NO!! We don’t need you here. You are not one of us and would mess our lives up with all your little talk.”

The pebble didn’t like their answer but went on his way. He tried to take it slower but with each downward slope and each breath of wind that blew he didn’t have much choice. He was so small he went wherever the wind blew him. Most days he didn’t mind, every day was an adventure. He never knew where he would end up. Other days, he just wanted to stop and fit in somewhere. He wanted someone to like him, for him to be a part of something bigger than him.

A big gust of wind started to blow and off the pebble went again. He was going so fast he would hit the ground then bounce up in the air.  He felt like he was flying. “This must be how the birds feel,” he thought to himself.

Oh crap, more boulders ahead,  the pebble screamed inside.  “Look out boulders, I am coming right at you.  I can’t stop!!!” yelled the pebble.

Once again the pebble was met with disdain. “Get out of here pebble. We are way too powerful for you. Do you NOT realize that we can squash you if we wanted to. You are to tiny to live here.  Be on your way before we change our minds and decide to hurt you.”

The pebble didn’t waste any time scurrying from that place. He thought,  What is wrong with all these boulders? Don’t they realize I don’t mean to smash into them. I’m just trying to find my way.  Like I could ever hurt them anyway.

It was then he heard a small voice in the wind.” Go pebble go. Go where the wind takes you. You are more powerful than you know. Everything that is and has happened to you is for a reason. I didn’t mean you any harm when you crashed into those boulders. I was using you to try to change their hearts. To learn to be more accepting. To love something other than their own pile of boulders. It is not too late for them for you have planted a seed everywhere I have sent you. The choice is theirs. You tried. Keep trying and going forward. Do not be afraid.”

The pebble looked around but did not see anyone. Strange, he thought. At that time another gust of wind picked him up and took him on his way.

Not again, seriously, the pebble thought unbelieving. Why can’t I crash into a pile of grass or a stream of water. Why another pile of boulders? He braced himself for impact.

SMACK!!!!

This time the boulders didn’t yell at him. “Help us,” said the boulders. “We are about to fall off the edge.”

“How can I help you? I am just a small pebble,” the pebble asked. He was thinking this had to be some kind of trick.

“We are about to fall off the edge and we have been asking for someone like you. See this small hole in between us? We need you to jump in there and seal it so we can be strong. With you securing that hole, we don’t have to worry about falling off the ledge.”

Wow, thought the pebble. They really need me. “You can count on me,” he bravely said. “I have been wanting a place to settle down. A place that will accept me for who I am.”

He then jumped right into the hole and secured the boulders together.

“Thank you,” he humbly said. To the boulders and to that small voice he heard.

It was then they heard this rumbling coming down the mountain. All these boulders were falling all around them but , miraculously, none of the falling boulders hit them. The pebble recognized them as the same boulders who yelled at him and told him they didn’t want him.

“Thank you,” said the boulders he was with now. ” Without you, we would’ve had the same fate as those boulders. You saved us pebble.”

 

Free To Be Me by Francesca Battistelli –  

Who I Am by Blanca – 

True To Yourself by Vanessa Amorisi – 

Dare You To Move by Switchfoot  – 

Hurricane by Misterwives – 

Let Me Be Myself by 3 Doors Down – 

Invisible by Hunter Hayes – 

Try by Colbie Caillat – 

True Colors by Cyndi Lauper – 

Four Years Ago

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Four years of school seems to take so long

But I blinked and four years have gone

Seems like just the other night

The last time I held you tight

Seems like just yesterday

In my rear-view, you waved

I can hear the drums you played for me

You could play them all, George Strait to Bon Jovi

I get my work ethic from you

A piece of you in everything I do

If you could, ask God to give me a break

You know from fishing I don’t do well having to wait

Tell our loved ones hello

And that we miss them so

I had to laugh the other day

When I remembered something you would say

Funny how things like that pop in your brain

Life goes on but it’s not the same

Tomorrow I will watch the sun rise at dawn

Can’t believe it’s been four years since you’ve been gone

dad

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My Old Man by Zac Brown Band – 

Not All Heroes Wear Capes by Owl City – 

The Other Side by Colton Dixon –  

You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell – 

From Where You Are by Lifehouse – 

Like I Should

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These words started coming to me and I could hear plain as day Chris Stapleton and Miranda Lambert singing them.  I am sure it needs to be tightened up a little and maybe a few words changed here or there.

Maybe if I could get a 100k shares and a 100k retweets this will get to them and maybe, just maybe….

Chris sings:

I know I don’t love you like I should

If I could change our past I would

I know I forgave you but I haven’t forgot

When a heart’s broken your left with what you got

These demons in my head tell me you’re the same

But I hear your whispers saying you’ve changed

What’s a heart to do that’s battling his head

Is there life left to a love I gave up as dead

These days aren’t easy

These nights ’bout kill me

These tears fall with the memories

When I don’t love you like I should

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Miranda sings:

I know I caused the tears you cried

I know it’s true that I lied

I know I walked out on a man who’s good

I know I didn’t love you like I should

But here I am fighting with all that remains

Can’t you hear my whispers I’ve changed

If your heart could forget the past

I know  we have a love that will last

I see how you look at me

and the nights you fight the memories

The tears you cry nearly kill me

I remember when I didn’t love you like I should

There comes a time when you move forward

You decide to no longer be tortured

You go on without me or you fight to stay

It’s a choice we need to make either way

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Chris:   I can love you like I should

Miranda:   (How I pray you would)

Chris:  I can hold you on the darkest nights

Miranda:  (I won’t ever lose my sight)

Chris:  We can take a step to a new day

Miranda:  (I’ll be there every step of the way)

Chris: I can love you like I should

Miranda: I can love you like I should

Both:  We can love like we should

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Either Way by Chris Stapleton –  

Tin Man by Miranda Lambert – 

 

 

What If I’m The One

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What if I’m the one to change history

What if they beat, ridiculed, spit on me

I know it all sounds a little crazy

But what if I’m the one

What if it’s just a single word

Or a poem someone read or heard

What if their lines became a little less blurred

What if it’s me someone is waiting for

What if something I said shook them to the core

What if they asked, “Please, tell me more.”

I know it all sounds crazy but it’s true

What if we stepped outside our box and grew

It could be me, it could be you, or even you

A tiny stone can cause ripples to expand

A butterfly flaps it’s wings and the wind crosses the land

What if it’s my hand they need to get out of the quicksand

A single smile can change a day

A single word can change the way

Maybe they could walk in hope instead of being afraid

What if I took that chance

What if I really took a stance

If I really looked instead of giving a glance

What if I always walked in the light

Brought a hope to the darkest night

Helped someone win their fight

See it’s not that far out of reach

If I just practice what I preach

I’m not a teacher but I can teach

What if I embrace it instead of run

Would I realize I could be the one

Did I do what needs to be done?

What if I am in front instead of behind?

I believe one person can open the eyes of the blind

I believe one person can change humankind

What if it’s you? What if I’m the one?

God Help Me by Plumb –  

One Man Can Change The World by Big Sean- 

Lions by Skillet – 

I Stand Here by Hannah Kerr-  

What If I Gave Everything by Casting Crowns – 

One Voice by Jason Gray – 

Did You Mean Me by Todd Agnew – 

 

 

Birds Of A Different Color- A New World

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Lots of music at the end but there are so many songs, from all genres,  dealing with these issues.

Catch up on the history of the birds:

Birds Of A Different Color

Birds Of A Different Color: The Sequel 

Birds Of A Different Color : Christmas Eve

Birds Of A Different Color: A New Chapter

 

Even though the dove ruled with compassion and love

Many birds had decided they had had enough

They wanted a leader like the Eagle had been

Their patience had started to wear thin

As they secretly plotted against his rule

There was a riot at one of the schools

A female red-throated hummingbird said she didn’t like males

Her parents didn’t understand and wanted more details

“What’s there to say? I am in love with another female hummingbird”

Her parents kicked her out of the nest without saying a word

Then an Ivory Gull said he was in love with a Black Rail

“You can not love one not of your kind,”  their parents started to yell

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They were told they had to leave their land

They were in love and could not understand

The hawk, vulture, condor, falcon and osprey came together

“We are the biggest birds and surely we are the  most clever.”

“This is our chance to take a stand,

To make our presence known in the land.”

They quickly spoke up and said; “We can all agree

That these birds style of living isn’t for you or for me.”

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The mockingbird and turkeys shook their heads yes

Did they ever have their own thoughts? It was anyone’s guess

They continued, “We shall banish them, but why stop there?”

“If you aren’t from our country, but from lands elsewhere,

Then you should be banned and sent from where you came.”

“All the problems in our land, well, you are all to blame!”

“Syrian Serin, Algerian Desert Lark,  Arabian Partridge, African Sacred Ibis

Afghan Babbler, Yemen Thrush, Palestine Sunbird, any we have missed?”

“Oh yes, Somali Starling, West Mexican Chachalaca, Banded Quail

Red-shouldered Hawk, Plumbeous Kite and Aztec Rail.”

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“We no longer will welcome you with open arms.”

“We don’t care if less than 1% of you wish to harm.”

“We will no longer take a chance if  you are from the Middle East,

From Mexico, if you are LGBT, your numbers must be decreased”

“We should build a cage around our entire land!”

Many of the birds thought that was a great plan

But other birds were smart enough to know if it will keep birds out

Then the cage can keep birds in, and of that, they had no doubt

The dove stood tall amidst the growing controversy

“Don’t you see, these birds are the same as you and me.”

“We all have come from different lands to make this land our home.”

“We should accept all birds, not give in to this hate syndrome”

“Where is the good when we choose these birds to be expelled?”

“We have been taught to love all birds, not just ones like yourself”

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“The Eagle taught us when he gave us these words:

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all birds

Remind them to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one

To be peaceable and considerate, and always be gentle to everyone.”

“I implore all birds to take a stand, to do what is just and right,

To end all this bickering and all these fights.”

“Instead, reach out a helping hand,  open your wings wide.”

“We can change this land if we show all birds the love we have inside.”

“We can no longer be the silent majority!

“The words I speak come from the highest authority!”

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“Our God, Jesus our Savior, commands us to love!”

The birds started whispering about the dove

One by one they stood up and said: “We agree!”

“This land was made for you and made for me.”

“We can live in love and make this country grand.”

“To the Republic and for what it stands

One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all!”

They all agreed it was time to stand together before they all would fall

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Bleed The Same by Mandisa- 

Heal Our Land by Kari Jobe- 

All Around The World by Taj Mahal and Keb Mo – 

I Hate Hate by About A Mile – 

The Gospel by Ryan Stevenson –  

Lousy Sum Of Nothing by Erasure- 

Remembered For by Colony House – 

How Many Walls by Rise Against- 

Reptiles (We Woke Up) by Flogging Molly – 

Say It All by Matty Mullins – 

World We Used To Know by Scorpions- 

Silent Majority by Nickelback- 

If We Keep Doing Nothing by Kris Allen- 

Pressure Under Fire by Gov’t Mule- 

Dear Black Son by Brother Ali- 

Pray For The World by Deon Kipping- 

All Join Hands by Acoustic Ghost- 

The Greater Good by Styx- 

Sons and Daughters by Brett Stanfill- 

Who Taught You How To Hate by Disturbed- 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Sun Doesn’t Always Come Out Tomorrow 

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Feeling lost at school and feeling ignored at home

Surrounded by people but feeling all alone

I think I’m tired of fighting the fight

I’m ready to leave this life tonight

There’s nothing here as far as I can see

I wonder if anyone will even miss me

Meanwhile two blocks away

Stacy winds up another day

She remembers him and when they were so close

But lately he seems distant,  disappeared like a ghost

I’ll call him tomorrow to just say hi

She doesn’t know he’s ending his life tonight

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Meanwhile two rooms away his parents talk

About how they might go take a walk

Should they go back to his room

They joke how it seems like a tomb

They remember how he laughed not long ago

Would they have tried harder if they had known?

Meanwhile two key strokes away

More of the kids in school type away

Making jokes and calling him names

Doesn’t he know he’s so lame

They wish he would go away and die

Tomorrow they will cry and wonder why

He thinks of how his life will end

Too many torn pieces to try to mend

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His phone rings “hey how are you doing”

It’s Stacy asking how things are going

I was going to call you tomorrow but why wait

She didn’t  know that tomorrow would’ve been one day too late

A knock on his door and mom says let’s leave

We are all going to go get some ice cream

No ifs ands or buts, you’re going

If they only knew what he thought of doing

His screen beeps and Scott starts to fight

What you guys say is wrong, it isn’t right

How about saying something positive

And he starts to think he might want to live

He gets off his bed and starts to head out the door

That’s when his bible fell onto the floor

A verse about you will have pain, suffering and sorrow

Then the Air1 verse of the day says hope in tomorrow

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Then his youth pastor sent a text to see if he was okay

He sent back looks like I’ll make it through another day

Is there someone that you know

That thinks the sun won’t come up tomorrow

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One Day Too Late by Skillet  – 

I Can’t Breathe by Bea Miller – 

The Call by Matt Kennon – 

Beautiful by MercyMe – 

Hard Love by NeedToBreathe- 

Hope by Ryan Calhoun – 

My Friends by Oh Wonder – 

Hope by Superchick-  

Hope For The Hopeless by Papa Roach – 

Remain by Royal Tailor – 

Not Today by Hillsong United – 

Be Still And Know by Hannah Kerr – 

How Do You Get That Lonely by Blaine Larsen – 

Storm Inside Of You by Veronica Ballestrini- 

I Want To Live by Skillet – 

Broken by Lifehouse – 

 

The Castle

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I walked the land for days. I was told if I could find the castle I would find the Kingdom. Not many I came across had ever heard of the castle, let alone know how to find it. That did not deter me from searching. I heard it calling.

I continued my journey. Desperately looking for anyone who could tell me how to get to the castle. I entered a forest and saw the child. He was looking at me and had a smile on his face.

I asked the child if he knew where the castle was. He looked at me quizzicality and asked, “Where have you looked?”

I started to answer but he continued, “you look but you do not see. The thing you search for is right in front of you.”

This child did not know anything about a castle.  “If it is right in front of me then why am I still searching?”

He again said, “because you look but do not see.” He then scurried off into the forest.

I scratched my head, perplexed at that conversation but continued my journey. It had been several days when I came upon another child.

“Hello, can you tell me how to get to the castle?” I asked.

“Where have you searched?” asked the child.

“I have been on so many roads, so many trails, so many paths that I have lost count,” I answered.

“Have any of those roads brought you closer to the castle?”

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I thought, what kind of question is that? Isn’t it obvious the answer is no since I am asking you where it is?  “I do not believe so. I have not found many people who have even heard of it, let alone know where it is.”   What is wrong with the children in this kingdom? I silently thought.

“Many have been on this journey you are on.   Some have succeeded in finding the castle. Some have never been on the right path. Others have quit searching when they were only steps away.”

“Why would they quit searching when they were steps away? Couldn’t they see it?” I asked.

“The evil one put scales over their eyes. He does not want anyone finding the castle and he will do whatever it takes to make you turn away and quit searching.”

With that, he left me with only more questions than answers.   Who was this evil one?  Why would anyone quit searching for something so grand?  Why would they not want to live in the castle and the kingdom? None of this was making sense to me.

I continued on the path I was on. I was hoping that I would find someone who could lead me to the castle. It had been months since I saw the last child but I was on a journey and I was not going to stop until I found it.

I was rounding a corner when I saw a man sitting beside the road.  “Where ya goin’?” he asked.

“I’m not really sure,” I responded. “I am searching for the castle in the kingdom but I have not been able to find it yet.”

“Oh, I see,” he said. “Mind if I tag along?”

“Not to be disrespectful but I prefer not. This is a journey I must take alone,” I answered.

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“Why don’t you go down this way?” he said as he pointed to the left of me.  “I have heard down that road will be all the money you could ever want.”

“Thanks, but I have had money and it did not bring me the peace I search for.”

“Why not go down this road?” he said as he pointed to the right. “I have heard there all the women you could ever desire down that road.”

“Thanks, but I have had my share of women and they did not fill the hole in my heart,” I replied.

“Why not turn around and go back to where you were?  Surely it is a lot easier than searching for a mythical castle that you will never find.”

“You must be the evil one the child told me about. I will not listen to your serpents tongue. I will be on my way now.”

With that, I bid him farewell and was on my way again.

It seemed like another year had passed but I knew it could have only been days. I was getting frustrated. Why could I not find this castle?

I crested a hill and saw the two children again.  “Hello again, will you continue to talk in riddles or will you show me the way to the castle?”

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“The castle is located where you will never expect it to be. You will find it when you can cross the moat between your mind and your heart. You must understand, through faith, that what is seen was not made from the visible. You must have faith in what you do not see.”

Do what?  Are these children serious?  Moat, mind, heart, invisible, visible?

“You must lower the drawbridge and connect what you believe to be the truth and what you know to be the truth. When your heart and your mind are one you will find the castle. When you find the truth you will find the castle for the castle is the truth.”

“Keep searching. Walk in faith. You are on the right path.”

As perplexed as I was,  I felt a peace that I had not felt before. Somehow, what they said was making sense. I knew I had not found the castle yet but I knew I was close. I knew I was heading in the right direction. One step at a time, one minute at a time, I will keep on walking.

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Kingdom by David Dunn – 

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 – 

Walk By Faith by Jeremy Camp –  

Sing In The Valley by The Perrys – 

 

When The Sun Sets In The Ocean

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At the end of the day when the sun sets in the ocean

Does she welcome him with arms wide open?

Does she tell him how much he was missed?

Does he cherish each and every kiss?

Does he talk about the damage he’s done?

How people pray for rain but there is none?

How the ice caps are less and less?

How the heat from him is causing a mess?

Or does he talk about all the good times

People laughing, basking in his sunshine

The picnics and the foods that grow

Does he talk of times from not long ago?

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Does she talk about the storms and hurricanes?

Does she talk about how she wishes she could see the plains?

Does she complain about her waters rising?

Does she blame him for the people dying?

Or does she talk about how the people play

How they jump over or try to ride her waves

The joy in someone’s eyes as they see her for the first time

Does she wonder if their love is strong or are there warning signs?

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Or do they talk about what a wonderful team they are

How they are always together to look at the stars

How both of them together can cause great things to occur?

Does she tell him how much she loves him and he loves her?

When they are all alone in the dark

Do they share what’s deep in their hearts?

When he wakes to start another day

Is there a tear in the ocean’s waves?

When he is gone and up high in the sky

Does he think of her with a twinkle in his eye?

Does she say hurry home soon?

Does he say tonight we will watch the moon?

So much can happen, so many feelings and emotions

At the end of each day when the sun sets into the ocean

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In Case You Didn’t Know by Brett Young – 

Walk Away by Goo Goo Dolls-  

If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell –  

The Story by Brandi Carlile-  

One Day At A Time by Brian Courtney Wilson- 

House On Fire by Rise Against – 

Ordinary People by John Legend- 

I  Won’t Give Up By Jason Mraz –