This was my dream. Leave my life and everyone I know and head to the city. This was my dream and not theirs. I packed my bags and headed out. I saw the tears fall in my rear view mirror. They weren’t my tears but theirs. I pulled out of the driveway and headed to my dream.
I stood on the corner and watched the world go by. How many people have stood right where I am? How many have walked this same street? I believed I was meant to be here. I was going to make my dreams come true.
I worked hard. Harder than most. I sung my heart out. I wrote words that touched those that heard them. I carried a smile everywhere I went. But my faith was wearing thing. My hope was fading with the sunset. I was tired. It felt like no one else believed in my dream.
My heart was turning into the concrete I walked on. My lungs were polluted with the black of darkness that consumed this town. My thoughts were flying with whatever direction the wind blew. Every no was shaking my soul to the core. Why was I here? I didn’t even know anymore. Somewhere on these dirty streets I lost who I am.
I only needed one yes. One person to believe in me. One break. One…
I stood on the corner and watched the world go by. I thought about stepping off the curb and into traffic. I just stood their with my eyes closed and my heart exposed. Everyone walked by and didn’t say a word. If they only knew how close I was. One word was all I need. One word, one touch, one….
My phone rang. Mom. She always knew. How did she always know? It was time to go home. Not to give up on my dreams but to do a restart. I needed to go back to where I was loved. I needed to find me again.
I pulled in the driveway and saw the tears fall in my rear view mirror. This time they were mine. I let them fall down my face.
While Kim was in Boston Kylie and I decided to drive two hours to Akron to see Jeremy Camp and Micah Tyler in concert. As you know from previous posts, Jeremy is one of our favorite artists and we see him anytime he comes to Ohio, no matter where he is.
We left Columbus at two and arrived around four so we could eat. I thought for sure there would be a lot of places, like chain restaurants, to eat in the area but we could not find any. We decided to stop about a half mile from the venue at a place called New Era Restaurant. It was a nice little place but we found out it was mostly Hungarian food. I kind of have a rule, if I can’t pronounce the name of it, I don’t eat it. I ordered a cheeseburger and fries. It was probably one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever ate. Kylie ordered the chicken tenders and fries and said the same thing. Probably some of the best chicken tenders she ever ate. Of course, afterward I was kicking myself in the butt for not trying something new and ordering Hungarian.
We were off to the concert and arrived early and picked up our tickets. Kylie takes drum lessons from Leif, the drummer, and he is always gracious to talk to us and let Kylie help take down the drums after the concert.
I was looking forward to seeing Micah Tyler. His cd is really good and he has an amazing voice. He was very funny, told us his story and how God has worked in him, and was a great entertainer.
We met Jeremy after the concert and talked to him for a minute. He was gracious enough to Facetime with Kim while she was in Boston and wish her best of luck in The Boston Marathon and told her with God, all this are possible, find your strength during the race in Him.
If you ever get a chance to see him in concert, I would highly recommend it. He puts on a great show, has great testimony, and is always super nice.
I don’t know why my pictures are so bad. Take them with Iphone. They look good on my phone lol.
Sunday we just hung out and did things around the house, since winter was still around. Kylie went to Young Lyfe Sunday afternoon and I actually went grocery shopping so Kim did not have to worry about doing it Tuesday when she got back. She needed some rest time. First time I had done that in a long long time. I actually enjoyed it. Of course, I bought meat dinners and a couple veggie dinners for Kim. Since there was a salad recall going on, I couldn’t buy her salads, that’s what she mostly eats. She eats like a rabbit and runs like a rabbit :).
Monday I made dinner, beef tips and noodles, after work. Then we had to get the house cleaned up before mom arrived Monday night after the marathon.
Welcome runners, today you will be running 26.2 miles with temperatures ranging from 38-45 degrees, rain with some downpours and 25-25 mph headwinds the entire race. Enjoy your run.
Monday was the worst conditions for the Boston Marathon since 1908. It was so bad that 23 out of the 45 elite runners dropped out. Not my wife, she was a trooper and finished the race. Not the time she wanted, 4 hours and 5 minutes – 21 minutes slower than last year, but considering the conditions, she did a wonderful job.
Then consider that it seemed everyone was 20 minutes slower. Last year, the women’s winner finished in 2 hours 19 minutes. This year, 2 hours and 39 minutes. The men’s winner was seven minutes slower than last year and the winner from last year, who finished second this year, was ten minutes slower.
Congratulations to Des Linden, the first American winner in 33 years. She was even ready to drop out at one point but she kept on going.
For all those that withstood the elements and finished, you are very tough and should be very proud of yourselves.
My wife wrote a post on her thoughts on it so I will share those with you now.
Last year for Boston I finished 3:44. My training this year for 2018 all shows I COULD do 3:30. That is what I was aiming for. No issues with my back or foot during my training since the start of December 2017. Fast forward to a week before the marathon and one begins to look at the weather app daily just to know what to pack. Didn’t look like it would be too bad for shorts. Think again… Friday before leaving ( left on Saturday) I packed more warm/ dry gear and rain coat and poncho. I prayed and prayed every moment I had that God would change the predictions for the weather…guess He was not having any change of mind. Why??? Let’s just get to it.. race morning… it was raining just sprinkles at first and the wind was not so bad. Get to the Commons to catch the bus to the start and it starts to rain more and the winds gust. My friend and I while on the bus kept saying we can do this we will do it. She is just so awesome! We knew our goals would be shot, we just wanted to cross the finish. Athletic Village was a mud pool. Have never seen so much mud in one place. Still raining and winds blowing. Never seen so many ponchos and umbrellas and garbage bags as coats in one place. Even plastic bags over the shoes. Anything to keep dry. Before the start runners are in the elements. We did have big white tents to stay under and this year they had the sides covered as well. Once you got in you didn’t want to leave. Standing room only. Lucky to find a piece of land to sit on ( if you dare). Before the start I had on 2 pair of running pants, 2 pair of socks, 2 dri-fit fitted running shirts ( long sleeve), 2 pair of gloves with surgical gloves over them ( to stay dry), had a plastic bag over my head with a beanie then a visor ( to keep rain out of my eyes) and 1 running rain/ wind jacket then an OSU rain jacket and poncho. Oh and plastic bags over my shoes as well as duct tape on my shoes. Yes you read right– duct tape. What did I end up shedding? I got rid of the blanket, poncho and plastic bags over the shoes. The duct tape came off during the race. All I wanted to do was finish. I ended up stopping at one point after the half way mark because it was either vomit or use the potty. The hills I made up, I tried to dodge puddles of water on the course but it got to the point there was no way of doing that. My visor stayed on the entire time which surprised me due to the 25-30 mph winds at our faces. The rain at times pounding down on us ( from either side). When the rain would fall harder the crowds got louder. So many wonderful spectators braved the windy, wet, conditions with us. So thankful! Each mile I just thought of those I was running for and the words that stayed in my head of encouragement. I won’t lie, I questioned myself, thought about just stopping but God had other plans for me. Plans to show that through tough, uncomfortable, out of control situations not only was He there but I could do it! Sure I questioned my attire, my hydration, the food I ate prior, my gels all of that ( shows the competitive athlete in me and the heart for the sport) and the stopping to use the potty. My spirits were crushed after the race for sure because I had a plan and goal in mind and it did not happen. I felt as if I failed. I won’t lie I had s good cry at the end and even in the airport waiting my flight home. Then I heard God and read ( truly read) the texts coming in from my loved ones.. I did do it. I battled the toughest weather conditions for the Boston marathon since 1908 ( for the record this was worse), 23 ELITE runners dropped out! I may not of hit my goal but I did it— soaked to the bone I did it. I finished this year in 4:05. That is roughly 20 minutes over my time last year. So with the weather conditions I faced on Monday I will truly take that as a win in my book. I want to thank my family, friends, volunteers and spectators for this year at Boston. My family is a huge supporter in what I love to do and I know Kylie and Rob have to put up with a lot from me during training. None of this would not have been possible without them, without the love and support from family and friends. At first I felt defeated crossing that finish line but as I sit back and take full perspective of the days events God taught me so much more. He wasn’t laughing at me, downing me He was praising me for fighting the course and staying strong! Sorry no pictures but Kathy and I were in another state of mind and taking pictures was the last thing in our minds. I love Boston and I will be back. I have other halves to look forward to this year as well as Columbus full ( where maybe I can get my 3:30 finish) Boston Strong! Kim Strong 2018!
We went on vacation to Florida to see Kim’s parents. We go there every spring break. It was beautiful weather, sunny and 80’s everyday. I wrote a few years ago about Kim’s mom was starting to have signs of Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately we noticed this time that her short term memory has become really bad. If you can, say some prayers for her please.
Then I go back to work and it was a mess. It took me three days to get things back in normal, if there is a normal he trucking industry, and get trucks back to running and being where they should be.
Then just when things were getting back to normal, one person I work with needed a day off so I took their work on Friday. Then Monday of the next week another person needed off so I took their work on. Then Thursday and Friday of that week another person had surgery and was out so I took their work on.
Now we are into this week And I am just trying to breathe. I am trying to start reading other’s posts and starting to write some myself. I actually have maybe 7-8 stories done or almost done so I will be getting some new material out soon.
Oh yeah, so during all that busyness, I had an iTunes update and it erased all my music and playlists. So I have been trying to get that back, with no luck. If anyone knows how to go back to where I was please let me know. I have looked online and it seems like this happens often but I try to follow what they say to do and nothing works.
My wife Kim just ran the Boston Marathon for the third time Monday. It was miserable weather. I will write another post on it.
I was sitting in church and some of these words started coming at me. I said no God, I can’t write about this. Even though all the Birds stories are based on real-life events, I can’t write about this one. God was silent until I got home then the words started coming again faster than I could write them down. I don’t know if the right words were written down, I tried to remember them as they were coming, but I hope I can bring some healing to the tragedy. So…..
The vulture thought for a time
Then he thought this must be a sign
The hawk has abandoned me and our plans
I must now bring havoc to the land
He waited and waited for the day
He flew to the top of the Mandalay Bay
He let his hate fly through the air
Who they hit, he didn’t care
In the lives he took he didn’t realize
That heroes were there to save lives
That love was still there even in the hate
For some, healing would be a long wait
The eagle and hawk stood together
These birds of different colored feathers
The eagle spoke first:
“Our land seems to be cursed,
From one tragedy to another tragedy
From one community to another community.”
“When times like these feel like the worst,
I implore us, everyone, all of us birds,
When it is so hard to see past our grief
When it is so hard….so hard to see,”
His voice cracked as he spoke
“We must never, never give up hope!”
“This tragedy truly breaks my heart,
But I know a light will shine from the dark.”
“Let us remember the ones that have been lost,
A senseless tragedy that has a great cost.”
“But let us learn from this tragedy,
There is a power inside you and me.”
“We must continue to let our light shine
For love has been here since the start of time,”
“Love was here then and love is here now!”
“I will, we will show love and that’s our vow.”
“We will not hide, we will not be afraid!”
We will not sit quietly, tomorrow is a new day”
Then the hawk let out a deep sigh
A tear escaped his eye
“Dear hate, you held me captive for many years
And I let you because I had so many fears.”
“I feared that I was not worthy of love.”
“I believed in this world and not God above.”
“I was public enemy number one,
And I can’t change all the bad I have done.”
“But I changed my thinking and I changed my heart,
And that’s when I escaped the dark.”
“Hate, you will not win!”
“We have a greater love within.”
“Birds, we must continue to make a better tomorrow.”
“We cannot be overcome by our sorrow.”
“We will overcome, good will come from this tragedy.”
“Change starts with love, change starts with you and me!”
Then the hawk and eagle joined wings
Friends had been made out of enemies
We cannot undo what has been done
We must let love rule, we will overcome
We will not let racism and hate destroy our land
We will show compassion, be virtuous and let love be our stand
While Kim was in Boston Kylie and I decided to drive two hours to Akron to see Jeremy Camp and Micah Tyler in concert. As you know from previous posts, Jeremy is one of our favorite artists and we see him anytime he comes to Ohio, no matter where he is.
My God, My Music, My Life 