Been a long time since I picked up the phone
But tonight, the demons have come back home
And damn, I’m not feeling all that strong
And I really don’t know if I want you to say hello
My hands are shaking at what you’ll be thinking
First thing you’ll ask is have I been drinking
I’m about to hang up when it starts ringing
You pick up and I say I’m sorry, I don’t know
And you say it’s okay, tell me what’s on your mind
And we sit in silence as the words are too hard to find
And I ask, do you ever wish we could hit rewind?
Before there was a me and you, before the scars
Damn, I was happy before it all got messed up
I was okay before we fell in love
And I always believed I was enough
Now I can’t unbreak my heart
And I know there’s nothing you can say
I’m trying to get through this day
Trying to believe something good will come my way
And I’m sorry I picked up the phone
Just feeling like the darkness has taken over the light
And it’s so hard to keep on fighting but I fight
And I really don’t know why I called you tonight
Guess I was hoping to feel a little less alone
I have started trying to find something different to try to stand out so some of my posts I’m making storybooks with.
Hope you enjoy.
Always been several old timers
Saturday mornings down at the diner
No one sits in the corner booth
That’s where them boys stretch the truth
Talking politics and about their wives
And how that fish was twice its size
Harley’s not around to join them anymore
But when the bell rings they look at the door
I pay my bill and tip my hat
Wishing I had friends like that
But how to be a good friend I’m still learning
I am back at the diner Saturday morning
The boys come slowly walking in
And I noticed Tom is missing
Hear them say it’s a damn shame
And how death won’t take his name
And I listen to them as they tell their war stories
How they laugh and cry at the memories
Then the door opens and the bell rings
They stop talking, look up ,wishing the same thing
When they hold their breathe in silence
I can feel their pain in those few seconds
Then they’re back to recalling when
Saying how grateful they’ve been
I can’t help but smile as they remember back
And I can’t help to wish I had friends like that
You asked me to the movies
Shared your raspberry Icee
Asked if I wanted some of your popcorn
All these things you’ve never done before
You move to sit a little bit closer
I’m wishing this movie wasn’t over
It’s so hard to smile when it’s done
Fighting the tears about to come
You may never say the words out loud
But you might miss having me around
Saying goodbye to your friends
As your new lives begin
And I know this because I was there too
Caught between two worlds that are pulling you
I know the last few years have been tough
Remember you are loved, you are enough
Listen, because it’s so easy for me to see
You are a better human than I’ll ever be
Smart , beautiful inside and out, and confident
And out of all the people on this continent
You need to take care of you, ask for help
It’s okay to not be okay, take care of yourself
I will always be here, one call away
Call, text, Snapchat, anytime night or day
I know if you read this you’ll say it isn’t true
It’s okay, because I was once in your shoes
So go out into this world and make your mark
You’ve been given wings, time to fly, time to start
Don’t be afraid to fail
Take care of your mental health
No matter where you are I’ll be in the stands
Because, my daughter, I’ll always be your biggest fan
Looking through your windshield
While looking in your rear view
Letting you go is hard for me
But I know it’s hard for you too
This Is Not Goodbye by Sidewalk Prophets-
Biggest Fan by In Paradise –
These Are The Days by Cory Asbury –
They Grow Up Too Fast by Jimmy Charles –
Good morning heron, out here all alone
Do you ever wish you could sing a song?
It’s nice seeing you in the morning light
Don’t leave heron, why do you take flight?
Is there something you are seeking?
Is there something you are needing?
Do you like being out here by yourself?
Do you ever wish you were something else?
Is flying away a game you like to play?
Trust me heron, I’m not going to chase
I’ve chased after things prettier than you
And that’s something I no longer will do
I don’t need the drama or the games
I’m looking for someone who wants to stay
I’m only chasing after things that give me peace
Things that put my heart, mind, and soul at ease
I wonder heron, will you ever settle down?
Can you break down the walls so that you can be found?
It’s a wonderful gift to be truly and fully known
To be able to feel safe in your own home
I was surprised you weren’t here this morning
Wherever you are, I hope you’re soaring
To be honest, I kind of missed you today
So silently I say, I pray you find your way
God, you know I’m still saying my prayers at night
But now when I’m done I look at the stars and sigh
‘Cause, honestly, I feel like giving up the fight
God, I need a win
God, I know you know who I am
So I know you can understand
I think too much about your plan
God, I need a win
I can only shed so many tears
I’m missing my smile that’s disappeared
Wondering when it’ll reappear
God, I need a win
God, sometimes I feel all alone
Wandering this world without a home
Sometimes, I’ve all but given up hope
God, I need a win
God, I’m not going to lie
I’d be okay with a tie
An answer to my why
God, I need a win
God, even if it’s only temporary
The eye of the storm so I can have time to breathe
Need a minute so this doesn’t overwhelm me
God, I need a win
This journey, am I at the beginning
In the middle, closer to the ending ?
I hate to ask, but are you listening
God, I really need a win
Feeling lost at school and feeling ignored at home
Surrounded by people but feeling all alone
I think I’m tired of fighting the fight
I’m ready to leave this life tonight
There’s nothing here as far as I can see
I wonder if anyone will even miss me
Meanwhile two blocks away
Stacy winds up another day
She remembers him and when they were so close
But lately he seems distant, disappeared like a ghost
I’ll call him tomorrow to just say hi
She doesn’t know he’s ending his life tonight
Meanwhile two rooms away his parents talk
About how they might go take a walk
Should they go back to his room
They joke how it seems like a tomb
They remember how he laughed not long ago
Would they have tried harder if they had known?
Meanwhile two key strokes away
More of the kids in school type away
Making jokes and calling him names
Doesn’t he know he’s so lame
They wish he would go away and die
Tomorrow they will cry and wonder why
He thinks of how his life will end
Too many torn pieces to try to mend
His phone rings “hey how are you doing”
It’s Stacy asking how things are going
I was going to call you tomorrow but why wait
She didn’t know that tomorrow would’ve been one day too late
A knock on his door and mom says let’s leave
We are all going to go get some ice cream
No ifs ands or buts, you’re going
If they only knew what he thought of doing
His screen beeps and Scott starts to fight
What you guys say is wrong, it isn’t right
How about saying something positive
And he starts to think he might want to live
He gets off his bed and starts to head out the door
That’s when his bible fell onto the floor
A verse about you will have pain, suffering and sorrow
Then the Air1 verse of the day says hope in tomorrow
Then his youth pastor sent a text to see if he was okay
He sent back looks like I’ll make it through another day
Is there someone that you know
That thinks the sun won’t come up tomorrow
One Day Too Late by Skillet –
I Can’t Breathe by Bea Miller –
The Call by Matt Kennon –
Beautiful by MercyMe –
Hard Love by NeedToBreathe-
Hope by Ryan Calhoun –
My Friends by Oh Wonder –
Hope by Superchick-
Hope For The Hopeless by Papa Roach –
Remain by Royal Tailor –
Not Today by Hillsong United –
Be Still And Know by Hannah Kerr –
How Do You Get That Lonely by Blaine Larsen –
Storm Inside Of You by Veronica Ballestrini-
I Want To Live by Skillet –
Broken by Lifehouse –
My God, My Music, My Life 