God, We Need To Talk

On November 9, 2015February 2, 2016 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, God I am Tired, God we need to talk, I am in a hurricane, music, thankful, Why can't I be thankful13 Comments

God, we need to talk! This isn’t working for me. I have been doing everything you are asking me to. I am stressed, going insane, and a complete mess. I didn’t think this was how following you was supposed to be. Yes, I know it’s not all roses and champagne but I am lost. I don’t know how much longer I can stand in this hurricane on my own. The rain and winds are battering me, beating me down. Everytime I get a step up, I get knocked two steps back. God, why are you letting this happen to me? Can you not give me a day of relief?

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Why now God? I had been doing so well hadn’t I? I could feel you with me. I could feel your presence just a short time ago. I called upon you and you were there. Everytime I would feel you I would feel like my heart was going to bounce out of my chest. I honestly would have tears in my eyes. Then, like that, you were gone and you haven’t been back. I feel like I am falling down a bottomless pit. I keep reaching up but I can’t find your hand. Where are you God?

To top it all off it is the start of the holiday season. Just when everyone else is getting in the spirit, I am falling apart. I am thankful for this. I am thankful for that. Blah blah blah. I don’t want to be harsh God but what do I have to be thankful for? I am at an all-time low. The winds are tossing and tumbling me about. I have been fighting, but God I am tired. I am tired of fighting. How can I fight an endless barrage of turmoil? How can I fight the insults? How can I fight the gossip? You know I have a hard time trusting people and now that wall is coming back up. We fought so hard to knock it down and we were doing a wonderful job but the more people I meet and the more I get out of my comfort zone, the more bricks are being put on the wall. Why do I do this? Why can’t I just trust people? Why can’t I just trust You? Why do I keep trying to do things my way?

Why am I so frustrated? With everything. Why can’t I appreciate what I have? Why can’t I be thankful?

Relocate. I need to relocate. Relocate my thoughts. If the hurricane is in my mind, I need to relocate my thoughts. Okay God, let’s give this a shot.

I am frustrated at my running injuries. It is getting me down. It has been two years since I have been able to run full speed. I am able to run but it is so much slower than I used to run. I am thankful I can run at all. It wasn’t that long ago that I couldn’t run because of the pain. Now I am starting all over again. I am not as fast as I used to be. Heck, I weigh twenty pounds more than I did then. God, help me to slowly lose the weight and slowly get faster and have more endurance.

I am depressed because this is a bad time of year for me. When the impossible became possible a few years ago. I am thankful our marriage is still together. I am thankful our family is still together. I am thankful that you ,God, were here in the midst of all of the pain and the rebuilding.

I am angry at certain people in my life. People that keep trying to throw me under the bus. People that believe the lies they are being told. They know the person I am and that I would never do those things but yet… I am thankful I have people in my life that believe in me. People that know who I am and that I don’t have to prove myself to them.

Well now that I read this over God, I don’t have much to complain about. A lot of people have it worse than me. I am sorry. Help them first. I will wait.

God, even though I have doubts about what you are doing in my life, I am thankful that you are in my life. Even though I wonder where you are, I am thankful that I can see you all around me. I am thankful I have eyes to see the beauty of the world you made around me. I am thankful I have ears to hear the beautiful sounds. I am thankful I have arms and legs. I am thankful I have a mind, even though it can be delusional. I am thankful I have a wife, a family, a home, food to eat, and a job to go to.

God, I want to tell you I am most thankful for you. Thank you for listening. I was a little upset earlier but just talking to you has helped. I should’ve done that a long time ago instead of letting all this fester inside me.

God, take me where you want me to go. I pray that I will follow and be thankful for where we end up. God, give me words to speak . I pray that I will use them wisely and that they will help others in this world. God, give me heart of gratitude. Give me an appreciation of thankfulness for what I have. Thank you for loving me enough to die for me.

I will try to remember all the good you have done for me when I am in times of trouble. I will try to remember that these times will make me stronger. I will be thankful that you are there through all of it. Thank you God for forgiving me when I doubt, for loving me when I hate, and for all the wrong I do when I am just me. I want to be more like you. Thank you God for giving me that chance.

Hurricane by Natalie Grant –

Hurricane by Lifehouse –

Hurricanes by 7eventh Time Down –

Hurricane by Samestate –

Hurricane by Emerson Hart –

Hello Hurricane by Switchfoot –

Hurricane by Jimmy Needham –

Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns –

Hurricane by Shonlock –

Butteflies and Hurricanes by The Muse –

New, forgotten, unknown 11/06/15 – New Music Friday

On November 6, 2015November 27, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian, Christian life, country, gospel, music, new music Friday, pop, rock2 Comments

A few more musician followers this week. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thank for the follows.

Have a great friday.

Sweet Caroline (cover) by Navaka Fernando –

Make You Proud by Jacey Jasnoch –

Sky Arts Guitar Solo by Gab Zsapka –

Some non-followers I have been listening to this week.

Note To Self by Ben Rector – this entire cd is good, I had never heard of Ben before but after hearing this cd I went and checked out his earlier cds.

Waitin’ On A Plane by Maddie and Tae –

All Over Again by Stryper –

Someday You’ll Be A Story by Melee –

Dancing All Around It by Mike Ryan –

Rescue Me by Digital Summer –

Home Movies by David Cook –

Gotta Get To Jesus by The Collingsworth Family –

Somewhere In Stockholm by Avicii –

Singing To Strangers by The Wood Brothers –

Father by Demi Lovato –

Run This Town by Corb Lund –

Soldier On by Sidewalk Prophets –

Stronger by Building 429 –

Where I Am Now by Don Henley –

Teach Me How To Love by John P Kee –

Wedding Ring by Glen Hansard –

Winner by Denise Renee –

and our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

Learning From Disappointments Part 2 – from my wife Kim, NYC Marathon runner

On November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, disappointments, God defines you, marathon running, motivation, music, running, TCS NYC Marathon11 Comments

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Well here I am home from NYC. Be prepared for a long read. As you know I was thrilled to find out that last year running the Columbus Marathon that I qualified for NYC marathon and Boston. I do what I love to do and it is to run. I ran my long runs and ran the NYC marathon on our treadmill (we have one of the ifit google map ones where we can run anywhere in the world) over and over again. I was also battling my back issues with L3-4 injury along with bulging disc. Went on with training and starting to have hamstring issues and glute issues as well. I just kept training and icing. There were times while training my runs would consist of my left leg buckling under me on the road or on treadmill. The only way I can explain it is I felt at times that I was going to fall. I continued to fuel ( w/ Arbonne) and eat clean, like I always do. I wanted to do my best when NYC was here. I was aiming for 3:30 finish time. I did Columbus in 3:42 so why not do better. I can say that NYC is a tough course! It was truly an experience from getting up at 4 am to walking to the subway to get to Staten Island Ferry and catch the ferry at 6am to then get on a bus to take us to the start. Once off the bus you then walk to your village to stay there and wait for your wave. I was in the orange village. Once in your village you are just outside waiting for your start time ( mine was 9:50). Imagine being outside that long just to start a race! Just sitting on the ground keeping warm and stretching and talking to whomever or sleep. Your wave gets called and it is time. Time to pound the ground for 26.2 miles through the city of New York and crossing 5 bridges. What a true way to see the city. The start came and I was able to get some pictures when I took off. It was packed! As my race began I was feeling good. Did not feel as nervous as I thought I was going to be once it started. My first half ( 13 miles) I felt good. I thought I had a good pace going and was able to look around and take in the crowds and see some of the buildings. Then mile 14 I felt pain in my back and it would go down my left leg. That feeling of buckling under came and went throughout the rest of the race. I told myself I was not going to stop.

I knew at times I would have to walk but I was not going to stop. Then I saw him and Kylie and pointed to my leg. I knew I was done, I knew I was not going to finish in the time I wanted and it started to get to me. I was getting disappointed and in pain. I powered through and recall texting Rob “pain” around mile 19. Needless to say I finished in 4:17 ( by far my worse run). I crossed the finished line w/ mixed emotions of joy, accomplishment, sadness and disappointment. What will others think of me after I told them what I was aiming for? What will Rob think of me let alone my children Kylie, Kelsey, Kayhla and Kirstie?

I looked up into the heavens and knew that God was proud of me! That I do know!! Once crossing the line all I wanted was to get to my family. The long walk to get them was nuts. You get the malar wrap to keep you warm and then a bag of recovery fuel and food then the warm poncho. Still no family. To walk that walk and to see all the other runners with smiles or pain was overwhelming. So many runners getting help from the medics for whatever reason was nuts. I had some that came to me and asked if I was okay. I finally got to my family and it was the best feeling ever. Rob and Kylie were so sweet and loving to me as we walked back to the hotel. I still felt disappointment, and pain, as we walked.

Not much was said on the plane ride back to Ohio or the ride home. I just wanted to shower and go to bed. Monday came and I was sore and still heartbroken. I believe I slept most of the day until it was time for my training sessions in the evening. Yep, right back to work I went (I just didn’t do the workouts). I felt like a failure when my clients came but they did not see me that way, they saw me as an inspiration, they saw me as an encourager, a fighter. Why could I not see myself that way? Tuesday was not any better, ever little thing set me off and I cried. Was this going to stop? Was I going to be able to put this race behind me and let it go and move on? I knew deep down I was going to get to that point of letting it go. Maybe God was waiting for me to learn from this experience before I could move on.

As I look back on this today ( while stretched out on the couch with pain shooting down my glutes and legs) I am wondering what does God want me to take from this? I am a winner, regardless of my time, I accomplished something only others wish they could do. He is teaching me that running does not define me ( regardless of time). He is also reminding me that I have to take care of the temple ( body) he gave me, it is the only one I have. I need to take time and recover, slow down etc. something I am NOT good at by any means. I always want to run. I need to remember I have a family that counts on me and wants me around for years to come. My take away from this. I know I am playing the should of, would of, could of thoughts in my mind and beating myself up. I can not let this get the best of me. As my new friend (Theresa) told me don’t let it get to me, grieve over it but don’t let it eat me. Grieving I am ( maybe only a runner understands) but I know it won’t define me. I know yesterday I did not wear my medal because I was down and for that I am sorry. Like I have been hearing I am a winner, I accomplished something huge, I FINISHED!

I know I beat myself up. I know I push myself way too much. It is time to scale back and take it slow. I am going to take some time off from running and will replace it with strength training, core work, and yoga ( I have to do something). I have Boston coming up in April and I want to be healed. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement along the way. I am a winner and I know that (even though it does stink at times when I still think about it) and I know I am loved and made people proud. It truly is a tough course, I will give NYC that. I am so glad I qualified. I won’t say I will not do it again because knowing me I will be back to conquer the course. ‪#‎TCSNYCmarathon‬ .

My God let me take on the experience of a life time. This marathon, regardless of how big I thought it was, does not define me. I am a runner, regardless if I finished at 4:17, I am a marathon runner. However, even running does not define who I am. So be it I was able to qualify for awesome marathons, so be it I am able to run each and every day. That does not make who I am. What makes me is that I am a child of God and He loves me regardless of my time on a race clock or a Garmin watch. I am a mother to four beautiful girls and three grand children. I am a wife to a wonderful, devoted Christian man and they love me regardless of the time on the clock. My family needs me and I need them. They need me to be injury free so I can be there for them any hour, any minute of the day. God needs me to be His obedient servant and use my talents that He has blessed me with. The people I help overcome the fear of running a 5k (3.1 miles) for their first time in Run For God classes. My clients that I push on a daily basis for them to overcome them saying “I can’t lift this, I can’t jump that.” The elementary girls that I served as their coach in Girls On the Run. That is what God remembers, He does not remember the time on the clock, the number of laps completed. He remembers us being His children. What defines us is how we overcome our setbacks, and this was a setback for sure. I did not get my time I wanted but I finished none the less. I accomplished something huge that November morning and it will forever be etched in my brain and on my heart.

This race defined how tough and determined I am and that I can do all things when God is on my side. He is the one who got me through to the end–to finish and I thanked Him for that when I crossed. I am taking this time and allowing God to come into my soul even deeper, I know there is a reason behind His works and it is not for me (or us) to question them but to have faith and know He is here and He has walked what we have experienced. I am not a failure!! I am a winner, I am a runner and more importantly I am a child of God who loves me regardless, as so does my family. To top this all off, God works in wonderful ways, He knows my spirits were down and He knows I was getting up and dusting myself off and what arrives in my mailbox Wednesday?…..2016 Boston Marathon Confirmation of Acceptance letter. Yep, time for me to let it go, rest, heal my back and hamstring, get a doctors perspective of my injuries and what to do because I have 5 months to show that I can and will overcome and I will be that 3:30 marathoner.

Running With God – Christian Motivation –

You Can Live Your Dream – Motivation –

The Sound Of Footsteps – Motivation –

Running Through Hell – Motivation –

Running In The Rain – Motivation –

I Will Fight – Christian Motivation –

The Strength of God Resides In You – Christian Motivation –

Desire – Motivation –

Believe In Yourself – Christian Motivation –

I Know Who I Am by Jeremy Camp –

Who I Am by Jessica Andrews –

Beauty Mark by Natalie Grant –

What’s Beautiful by Everlife –

Identity by Lecrae –

Learning From Disappointments

On November 4, 2015November 5, 2015 By roberthansen1317In #TCSNYCmarathon, Christian life, disappointments, marathon running, music, running, you define you7 Comments

My wife, Kim, ran the TCS New York City Marathon on November 1st. She wanted to do 3:30 and was on pace for it for 14 miles then…

I call Kim the 7:30 per mile runner. She runs on a treadmill so much that she almost always is in that area. It doesn’t matter if she runs a 5k, 10k or 13.1 miles (half marathon). Her pace per mile is always within 2-3 seconds of 7:30. I pushed her, as well as a couple friend runners, to get out of that zone and she did. During training she actually ran a 5k race under 7:00 per mile and she did a couple long runs where she was in the low 7:10 range. Even on her longer run of 17-18 miles she was doing 7:40-7:45 miles. A couple training runs her left leg would give out on her for a second but we didn’t think much of it.

For the first time ever she actually scaled back before a race. She only ran 9 miles the week of the race, and usually she would do 20-25. She did everything right for this race. She was going to hit her goal of 3:30.

Then mile 14 her leg started to give out. By the time she reached where we were at mile 16 she looked at me and said pain and pointed to her left leg. Then at mile 19 she actually stopped and texted me PAIN!!!! Maybe she should’ve stopped but I know her and if you are a runner you know you won’t stop unless you are dead. She had to walk several times and actually had some miles that were 12-13:00 minutes. She did finish in 4:17, by far her worst marathon but it was still an experience.

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My wife took it hard. If you know her you know she was mad, sad, disappointed, and heart-broken. She felt physically, mentally and spiritually broken…for a minute. Then she said she won’t let this define her or who she is. This is just one race.

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Which brings me to today’s topic. We all have disappointments. Times when someone or something lets you down. Times when we think God has let us down. Times when our whole being is tested. Times when we think our whole world is falling apart.

How you respond is how you will live your life. You can get right back up or you can wallow in your defeat. You can get mad at everyone around you or you can welcome them into your home so they can encourage you and help pick you up. You can turn away from God or you can get closer to God.

How will you let your disappointments, setback and failures define you? Do you forgive those that disappoint you? Do you forgive yourself for your own disappointments, mistakes, setbacks?

Do you let it define who you are in God? God only sees you as His child. He loves you and wants you to succeed. Like any parent though, sometimes He lets you do it on your own so that your character will grow.

Stay tuned to tomorrow for Kim’s perspective.

It’s Not Over Yet by For King & Country –

These Times by Safety Suit –

I Turn Everything Over by Switchfoot –

It’s My Life by Paula Cole –

Right Here Right Now by Matty Mullins –

What I’ve Overcome by Fireflight –

Get It Right by Brendan James –

You Don’t Define Me by Mindy Gledhill –

Be Me by Syleena Johnson –

Don’t Count Me Out by Downtown Fiction –

Mirror by BarlowGirl –

Least of These by Todd Agnew –

New, forgotten, unknown 10/30/15 – New Music Friday

On October 30, 2015October 29, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, new music FridayLeave a comment

A few new musician followers this week. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with the wonderful Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thanks for the follows.

Many Moons Ago by Erin Kelly –

Step by Step by The Shanks –

Ain’t No Sunshine by The Phantom Trap –

Some non-followers I have been listening to this week.

Through The Window by Chris Cornell –

35 MPH Town by Toby Keith –

Where You’ve Always Been by Annie Moses Band –

TShirt Weather by Circa Waves –

Fear by Ben Rector –

Hold Them Close by Building 429 –

AYTA by Collective Soul –

Speak The Word by Denise Renee –

I Feel Love by The Dead Weather –

Make Me A Believe by Andy Mineo –

and our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

The Mask

On October 29, 2015October 29, 2015 By roberthansen1317In affairs, Christian life, God, music, the mask you wear11 Comments

This is my last Halloween post. I hope you enjoyed the stories. If you missed any be sure to go back and check out The Maze, The Funhouse of Mirrors and The Haunted House.

Even though I am no Edgar Allan Poe this is the scariest yet ( but don’t worry, it has a happy ending.) We all wear masks! This mask story is just one of many I could tell. It is a true story and it could happen to you. Not that the other stories weren’t true- that’s up for you to decide. Reader beware!

You wake up each morning Ignore all the warnings

With a smile on your face Our love was being replaced

Breakfast made and the kids are dressed Don’t even know their lives are about to be a mess

Out the door they go to school You let the devil make you a fool

I come home from work But you’ve been digging in dirt

You show me that beautiful smile Right now, you are just in denial

You wear a mask of past shames Yet, you continue to play games

You say you aren’t the one to blame The mask of your past caused this pain

You where the mask of lies and deceive Your family is the one you leave

You’re wearing a mask Did you think this would last?

But you can’t hide it well Did you think I couldn’t tell?

Oh love, what have you done? Was it all just for fun?

You’re tearing our world apart You’re breaking our kids hearts

Fast forward through the hurt and lies Fast forward through the tears we cried

Fast forward through the pain What did you think you had to gain?

I gave up and God stepped in “Now let me take all this sin, ”

He whispered to me “it’s not about you, I want you to stay until I am through”

He walked us through the dirt and mud Our love went from ashes to a bud

You removed the mask you wore so long Now you are back with God where you belong

Through all His redeeming grace Our marriage found a new starting place

So my friends what can I say? You have to pray to God each day

What can get you through the worst? In your marriage, God must come first

Don’t fall for the tricks of the evil one Don’t let your marriage come undone

His words are smooth but they are not true Don’t let the devil come between God and you

Be careful of the seeds you sow Guard your heart with the truth you know

Be careful of the mask you wear Let Jesus carry the cross you bear

Remember when you first fell in love Love each other, look to God above

Don’t let the devil come and destroy Don’t fall for his games, his ploys

Even though you once believed he who lied Because of God, our marriage survived

The devil tried but he isn’t winning With God our end became a new beginning

This story is scary because it is true I will pray it doesn’t happen to you

But if it does, it doesn’t have to be the end of your story Let God use your struggles and pain for His glory

If I Told You by Jason Walker – The perfect song for this post. Please listen.

Masqerade by Jonathan Thulin –

Change This Heart by Sidewalk Prophets –

You Are Loved by Stars Go Dim –

Behind The Mask by Eric Clapton –

Something More by Secondhand Serenade –

You Don’t Know How Beautiful You Are by Jon Foreman –

Sick Charade by Letter Black –

The Real Me by Natalie Grant –

In A Hole Again by Tesla –

Giving It Up by Kristian Bush –

Love Heals Your Heart by Third Day –

First Song I Sing by Sara Groves –

Give Me Jesus by Jeremy Camp –

You Loved Me First by MikesChair –

The Haunted House

On October 27, 2015October 27, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, haunted house, music, the mind is haunted5 Comments

Animated Haunted House animated house gif halloween haunted

I have been in the house many times since the first time. The first time was when I was eight years old. I was being teased, called a chicken, and all those things kids say to each other. Triple dog dare. You can’t turn down a triple dog dare. It was the first time I opened the door. I only looked inside for a second but that was enough. The door had been opened and my future was doomed.

I soon started visiting the house more than I would like to admit. Always by myself of course. I couldn’t let my friends know what I was doing. Each time I went in I would find a new room to explore. It was fascinating at first. All these new things I was finding meant I was also learning more about myself. I thought I was being brave. Anytime something would happen to me I would run to the solitude of the house. Only in the day time though. Never at night.

At night you could always find me in my own house. Safe, warm and comfortable. My parents loved me and I felt safe in my house. Of course you could say as many times as I was visiting the so-called haunted house that it became my home away from home. My place to go to be alone and collect my thoughts. Leave some of my thoughts there. Come out a new person, but I left a part of me in that house each time I went.

It wasn’t long before I was sneaking out of my home and going to my haunted house at night. I couldn’t help it. I loved being the only one there. The only one that knew I was spending so much time there was me. I loved that sometimes when I went there would be a new room or two to explore. I never questioned how they got there. Part of the mystery of a haunted house I thought.

I started to withdraw from my friends so I could spend more time there. I could explore my house for hours on end, always something new but I could also go back and remember. Remember the who, what, why, where and when of the first time I opened this door or that door. Remember when I was so scared I slammed that door closed, only to peek back in a few weeks later. No door was ever sealed shut. I could visit anytime I would visit the house.

The problem came when I couldn’t resist the house anymore. It just kept luring me in. Like it was calling out to me. Come on in, it is safe here. You don’t need anyone else. Just you and your thoughts, that’s all you need. No one will hurt you in here.

Comfort. I found comfort in that house. I should’ve bought the place and moved in. Saved me from going there all the time. It was on one of these trips that I met someone. A man like I had never met before. He told me to stop going to the haunted house. There is nothing there for me. How did he know was my first thought. My second thought was who cares who he is. This was my world and my house and he was just an intruder. Another person out to get me.

A couple days later I was going back to the house and there he was. Sitting on the front steps. The same steps I first went up when I was eight, except they didn’t look so scary anymore. They almost looked warm and inviting. Anyway, back to my guest. There he was. “How did you get here,” I asked. “I’ve been watching you for years,” he said. What kind of person is this? I then bluntly told him to leave. He wasn’t welcome here. He told me he couldn’t do that. He was here to help me leave this place, leave it for good.

No way. This is my place. My home. He had no right to ask me to leave it.

But he got me thinking. In my experience, that is never a good thing. I would rather just go to my house and leave my thoughts in one of the rooms.

I walked on by him and he got up and followed me in. “Look at your prison,” he said. “My prison? This is my house,” I corrected him. “No”, he said, “I have a much better house for you. Want to see it?”

“Not really sure,” I said, “I like this place.”

“Here take my hand and I will show you,” he said. I don’t know why but I reached out for his hand and….all the doors opened. All the doors in my house flew open and everything that was in them came pouring out.

I screamed, “let me go!!” I pulled my hand away and ran. This wasn’t my house. How did all these things get in here? Why was he letting them all out? I tried to shut the doors but they would not close. I fell to my knees and let them overtake me. But they didn’t touch me. They all poured into him. He took them all. All my good and all my bad. All my pretty and all my ugly. They all poured into him.

I watched, mesmerized. It seemed like it lasted for hours but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. How could I let all this stuff in my house? I watched as everything flew out. Things I forgot I put in the rooms. Things that kept me a prisoner in my house. Fear, lots of rooms full of fear. Anxiety, worry, hurt all leaving my house. Negative thoughts and lies I believed to numb the pain all gone. Depression, shame, guilt- all gone. Anger and hate, see you later. Regrets, doubts about who I am, lies, distrust, unforgiveness, all gone.

You might ask what was left but you already know. Love was left. A love that told me I didn’t need to live in this house. A love that told me I was forgiven. A love that showed me who I am. A love that told me to unlock those doors and throw away the key. A love that told me my house isn’t haunted. A love that told me I could’ve left that house anytime I wanted. A love that told me I never had to build that house.

Mansion by NF –

My Own Prison by Creed –

Empire In My Mind by The Wallflowers –

Demons by Imagine Dragons –

Baptize My Mind by Jon Foreman –

Change Your Mind by Sister Hazel –

Keep Your Mind Wide Open by Annasophia Robb –

Outta My Mind by Anthem Lights –

Peace Of Mind by Decemberadio –

Voices by Sumerlin –

Hearing Voices by Anberlin –

March Out Of The Darkness by Papa Roach –

Out Of Mind by Queensryche –

Daughters

On October 26, 2015October 26, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Daughter of God, daughters, music, You are beautiful4 Comments

I have four daughters and two grand-daughters. I have tried to get the words together about women and self-esteem and about being loved and accepted by God but I can’t seem to get out what I want to say. I did remember reading something a long time ago on Facebook and I couldn’t recall where I saw it. I looked on Boundless and Proverbs 31 but nothing. I searched and searched and just when I was about to give up, my wife had a Facebook memory come up two days ago and guess what was on it? The thing I was looking for that she had shared so now I know what the site is and where to look. Yes, it is amazing how God works. Just when I was about to give up my search, there it was. Anyway, it is called the Loop and I think every woman should read their posts just to know who they are in God.

Here it is:

You are Beautiful

My daughter, you are the one I made. You are the one I crafted. You are the one I adorn with garlands, with beauty I see, with beauty that sweeps Me off my feet.

I love you.

And there is not guilt and cost and expectation in it. I love you because I do. You can’t alter it. You can’t change Me. You are what I have made, and I love what I have made.

Look up now, not down. I mean this:

I love you.

Like this.

How you are.

Right now.

There is nothing to chase down, my love. There is nothing to earn or improve or repair. I create. I heal what I have made. Let me lean in, place my hand upon your heart.

I was there when you believed, for the first time, you weren’t beautiful. I was there, the second time, and the next time, too. I want you to know, I was there.

I was there when my daughter, whom I crafted, whom I adore, whom I formed and designed and shape ever still, believed she was less than what she should be. Less perfect, less valued, less worthy than. . . Less than whom? Less than what, my daughter?

You are beautiful because I made you. You are exquisite because I shaped you. You are worthy because I say so. I chose you. I chose to make you.

You.

And daughter, I don’t make mistakes.

My love, hold my hand. See how I extend it to you, and I love to be with you.

My beautiful one.

My daughter.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well” (Psalm 139:14).

You Are Made To Shine by The Sonflowerez –

Dove Real Beauty Sketches –

My Dear by Matty Mullins –

Daughter Of The King by Tricia Brock –

Who I Am by Blanca –

His Daughter by Molly Kate Kestner –

Flawless by MercyMe –

More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz –

Dear Daughter by Halestorm –

Furious Love by Veridia –

So Beautiful by Superchick –

Aim Higher by The Browns –

The Funhouse of Mirrors

On October 20, 2015October 20, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, funhouse mirrors, God can change your life, looking at myself, music, this will change your life13 Comments

sites at the local fair ground - I never liked to funhouse. But if I was with friends I went in them and rode rides anyway. Nana

“Step right up, come on in, only a dollar” shouted the carny. He looked right at me and my friends. “Come on in boys, this will change your life” and he winked at me. I don’t know but my gut was telling me something was wrong. My friends wanted to go in and since I didn’t want to be left out, I went in with them.

It wasn’t much at first. A conveyor belt going the opposite direction. Oooh scary right? We made a tight turn to the right and the floor started shaking. Everyone started to laugh but the feeling inside me was getting worse. It was then the lights went out. We started reaching out, touching each other to make sure we were all still there. We slowly inched forward and hit a wall, promptly piling into each other. Then the lights came on and that was when the fun began.

Image result for carnival fun house mirrors

We were looking at ourselves, all four versions of each of us. We looked at each other like what the crap, a couple of my friends used some other choice words. In one mirror there was me, looking as normal as I am now, if you can call that normal. In the second mirror I was a hideous monster. What the heck? The third mirror I was a baseball player, uniform, glove and all. How could this be? I only was wearing the clothes I came in with. The fourth mirror showed me as an old, decrepit old man, all by myself. It was then we realized there was no exit. We did the only thing we could and started to push on the mirrors. The only one that moved was the second one. We all looked at each other and kind of shrugged and took a step through. But we weren’t all together on the other side.

There I was, the hideous monster. I pulled on my skin and clothes to get them to come off but they were me and I was them. It was then I noticed a small light in the distance. I walked toward it and saw it was a cell phone. It had a note on it. PRESS PLAY. What I saw disgusted me and I wish I didn’t have to tell you about it, but I do. It was 15 second clips of my life. There was me eight years old pushing the other kids down on the playground. There was me twelve years old stealing a cassette from the local music store. There was me sixteen years old with my girlfriend. We were in the backseat and she said she wasn’t ready but I said we had already gone too far so let’s keep going. There was me at nineteen at a college party when a bunch of guys took a passed out girl upstairs and I didn’t stop them. There was me at twenty two when I didn’t take the keys from my friend and he drove home drunk, but he didn’t make it. There was me at home instead of visiting my dad before he passed away. There was me watching a movie instead of calling a friend who was home alone, waiting for me to call. There was me ignoring my wife because of past mistakes. Was I really this monster? Is this how others see me?

Then we were all back in the same room of mirrors. We all looked at each other like what was that? No one was laughing now. We pushed on the mirrors again but only the third one opened this time.

There I was, at Wrigley Field, pitching for the Cubs. The crowd was chanting my name. Oh yeah, this is what I was made for. They all love me. I was on the mound, World Series, game seven, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two on, two strikes. One more strike and I bring a championship to Chicago. The wind up, the pitch…and I heard it. My shoulder popped. Then I heard the crack of the bat as it connected to the ball. Then I heard the silence. Just like that it was all over. The game, my career, my life. I was so angry. I was mad at God. How could He bring me to this moment and then let it all go? One pitch. It was all over. What kind of God would do that to me? I shut everyone out. I drank myself to sleep every night. I didn’t know the women’s names I would wake up to. I didn’t care. I went from 60,000 people screaming my name to the deafening silence of my own thoughts.

There we were again. All six of us in the same room of mirrors. Mark said that wasn’t so bad. “Let’s get this over with,” said Scott. We looked at each other and hesitantly stepped into the fourth mirror.

There I was. A decrepit old man. No one there but me. A lifetime of choices led me to here. A lifetime of bad choices. How did I get here? I was a good guy once. I believed in God, once upon a time. I looked in the mirror and the mirror looked back. Was this really me? Then I was gone. There in my casket, all by myself. Honestly, all by myself. No one came to say goodbye. Not one single person! Was I that unloveable and selfish? Was I really that bad of a person? I guess the truth hurts because I must’ve been for not one single person to show up.

We were all back in the room of mirrors. A couple of my friends said how cool their mirrors were. They hope their lives turn out like that. I didn’t have anything to say. This time the first mirror, the normal mirror, opened and we walked through. A couple turns and a few distorted mirrors later we were at the exit.

“Hey boys, how’d you like it? Did you like what you saw?” said the carny. “The mirrors don’t lie boys. If you didn’t like what you saw, you still have time to do something about it.” That was when he looked at me again and winked and gave me something. I was too terrified to look at it so I stuck it in my pocket and left. He turned around and started shouting , “step right up boys and girls, come on in, only a dollar and it will change your life.”

I forgot about what he gave me until I got home and undressed. It fell out of my pocket. A small bible with a note inside. Read this if you want to change your life. Read this if you didn’t like what you saw in the mirrors. It is your choice.

Monster by Skillet –

All Of Me by Meatloaf –

Ain’t Much Left Of Me by Blackberry Smoke –

These Things I Hate (Revolves Around Me) by Bullet For My Valentine –

Chip Away by Julliet –

Hate Me by Blue October –

Faces by One Less Reason –

Objects In The Rearview Mirror by Meatloaf –

I’ll Find Me by Steve Azar –

Sing by Waiting Hill –

I Remember Me by Jennifer Hudson –

I Hope They Get To Me In Time by Darius Rucker –

Mirrors by Justin Timberlake –

Funhouse Mirror by Jill K –

I Choose You by Point of Grace –

Don’t Be Afraid

On October 19, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, Do Not Be Afraid, Fear Not, music, My God Is With Me, Whom Shall I Fear4 Comments

I have heard that the phrases like do not be afraid, do not fear, etc are in the Bible 365 times. I know that this is not the case but they are in there quite often. I wrote this when I first connected with Lily about singing my songs. I needed to reread the words this weekend to help with some of my anxieties and worries. I thought I would share, hope you like. Let me know your thoughts.