Inside My Head (Seeing A Therapist)

I was hoping to have some new Christmas stories this year but I have a lot going on so will repost my old ones in the next few weeks. I might be able to get one new one out I started but I have other fish to fry. And I apologize for not having the time to reading other posts. Sometimes some things have to give to make room for something else and unfortunately it always seems to go back to reading and writing are the easiest things to give up.

Since early September, I’ve been seeing a therapist

Thought I’d knock some things off my list

I knew I had one or two, no more than three

But inside of my head is a scary place to be

The monsters in my head

Have been fed and fed

I found things I forgot I lost

Buried deep, but at a cost

Didn’t want to talk but I spilled my guts

Didn’t know I was this messed up

Often putting myself in solitary

To find out I’m my own worst adversary

I’ve had walls built so high

I forgot what was locked inside

They say scars make you stronger but they hurt like hell

I never knew I had so many stories to tell

Didn’t know I was broken until those words were spoken

Here I am standing on the ledge hopin’

Someone, anyone will pull me back

But I don’t think I know anyone like that

Can you hear me shout?

My silence is so loud

Slowly we’ve been tearing some of those walls down

A little hope but at times I felt as if I would drown

We all grieve in our own way

I kept throwing things in an open grave

Tossing my feelings and emotions inside

Always looking for a place to hide

No fears, no tears for too many years

All the while, collecting a lot of souvenirs

But those souvenirs were really just debris

Weighing me down, keeping me from being me

Little did I know they were tearing my world apart

All those things that were hidden in the dark

I’m starting to see in a new light

I know my life’s worth the fight

I still don’t know what’s on the other side of the door

But I’ll take the next step forward to be healthier than before

Citizen Soldier is one of my favorite bands and most of their songs I feel like they were inside my head when they wrote them so here are some of their songs.

Bedroom Ceiling-

I’m Not Okay-

If I Surrender-

Hand Me Down-

Weight Of The World-

Stronger Than My Storm-

Invisible-

Would Anyone Care? –

Just Be Happy-

4 thoughts on “Inside My Head (Seeing A Therapist)

  1. 30 years of rebuilding my mind since I was actually helped by a psychiatrist putting some marbles back, Thankfully the Lord and my family didn’t give up on me. My life has been one wild ride of trusting god without a seat belt. Best choice I made was to spend time with the Lord each morning. He seems to line up even the weird marbles in my head (my skewed perception).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Penny

    I love you Michael! I think we all have things we push away and don’t want to deal with. Your health is important! God loves you more than you know. He wants you well, He hears your cries and wants you to depend on Him. I’m praying for you!

    Liked by 2 people

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