A few more musician followers this week. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thank for the follows.
(Two of my daughters, note to self : I need some currents of Kelsey and Kirstie)
Parents listen up, especially fathers. You have a vital role in how your children are raised. You can build your children up or tear them down. You can support, encourage, discipline them or you can enable, discourage and belittle them. You can show them how they should be treated and loved or you can leave them with so low esteem they fall for the guys that abuse them.
How do you treat their mother? You can lead them to God or away from God. Do you make time for them? Take them on dates? (Something I have failed at doing if I am honest- the date part, I make time for them.) You will be the standard for how your daughter sees all men in her life. You will be the standard for how your son sees how he should treat women.
Do you work 70 hours a week and have children say my dad never was there for me? When you get home what is the first thing you do? I try, and sometimes I fail, to first kiss my wife, their mom, so they can see the love their parents have. Then I ask our one daughter who is still at home about her day. Ask her what she wants to do. Play football, watch tv, play games, whatever it is I try to do. We wrestle ( I am Triple D- Doctor Death Daddy and Kylie is El Cupachabra) and I teach her self defense and what to do when attacked from behind, all while she thinks we are just play fighting. Yes, I just got home and yes, I have stuff to do but what could be more important?
I am for you daughters, and I will always be here for you. No matter what roads we go down or if we get lost, we will find our way together. I am sorry for the times I let you down but I love you more than anything in this world.
As a father, you are a teacher, provider, coach, protector, playmate, role-model, etc etc. It is a big responsibility. One you can not do on your own. You need help from our one true Father in Heaven. No matter how good or how bad a father I am there is one Father who will not let you down.
He is always there for you and for your children. Here is another article from the Loop that I wanted to share. If you listen to the songs at the bottom do you want to be like the first set (before and including Good Good Father) or the last set of songs.
I Am With You On This Road
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
My daughter, you are no mistake. I made you with intention, I made you with your face in my mind, your voice in my ears. I made you with a name and with grace and with gifts only yours—your gifts my very gift to you.
You are not made with a pressure to perform, with an expectation to achieve. You are not made with a heaviness to bear around your neck, a weight to carry, a weariness of long days one after another.
I know the way with Me can feel hard. I know this road feels long. I am with you on the road, my dear. I am with you on this road.
Take steps now, where you can no longer see. Reach your hand out now, for I long to grab yours and hold tight. Lift those shoulders now; let me take that burden you carry.
Can you see me taking it? Can you see my hands upon your shoulders, the weight being lifted off? Can you feel shackles being cut? Can you feel the things you can’t, with your eyes, see?
I am for you, my child. And I do not ask you to go places where I will not be. Only go where I am. Even though you can’t see the next steps, I do. And I go ahead, and I know when the path is clear.
Just follow Me, my daughter. I know this road, this one marked out for you. You have choices about where to go, whether to turn right or to turn left. But ask Me where I am. And trust I give you recognition for the One who made you, for the One who designed your heart, for the One who knows His daughter and the details of the road, for her, ahead.
This is a story about a turkey. However, this was not an ordinary turkey. This turkey did not want to be a turkey. He wanted to be an eagle.
He often thought to himself, “self, I do not like myself. Self, this is one boring life I live.” Day after day he would trot around the yard with all his turkey friends gobbling gobbling and gobbling. He would eat all the food that was given to him and he would watch himself getting fatter and fatter.
He would look to the sky and see the eagles flying around. Soaring above the trees. “So beautiful,” he thought. “I want to be like that. I want to be majestic. I want to be an icon. I want people to look at me with awe. I want to be a national symbol and for people to look at with me with thanksgiving in their hearts.”
As much as he flapped his wings he could not get off the ground. It wasn’t that he did not practice, because he did. Some days that was all he did. He would run around the yard flapping his wings, never to get more than a foot or so off the ground. “God, why would you give me wings but not let me fly very well? Why would you let me see the eagles soar but not let me join them?”
Many of his less ambitious friends would talk behind his back. “Who does he think he is?” “Look at that fool trying to fly like an eagle!” “Doesn’t he realize he will never be anything other than what he is?”
Many days and months passed by and nothing ever changed for the turkey. Every day it was the same thing. Wake up, eat, walk around the yard, eat, try to fly. Every day he would ask the same questions. “Why God why? I want to be more than this. I want people to look at me in awe and be thankful that I am here. I want people to love me.”
Soon the weather started to get colder. Many days people would come and grab some of his friends and he would never see them again. The turkey continued to eat and grew bigger and bigger. One day a family came and walked around the yard looking for the perfect turkey. They found one in the turkey of our story.
The father looked at his family and said, “This turkey is beautiful. He will be the perfect symbol for our thanksgiving dinner .” The little girl looked at the turkey and said “I love you turkey. You are so beautiful.”
The turkey gobbled and gobbled. He was so happy. “Finally,” he thought, ” I am being appreciated. I may not be flying like an eagle yet but at least people are seeing me as special.”
The turkey was taken to the family’s home where he was promptly killed and cooked for dinner. Before they ate the family prayed. “Thank you God for this wonderful meal. Especially this beautiful turkey. We will forever remember this turkey in our hearts on this national holiday.”
You see, God gave the turkey everything he asked for. He was looked at with awe and beauty. He was a national symbol. The people gave thanks from their hearts for the turkey. He was made exactly how God wanted him to be and exactly how he wanted to be seen. He just didn’t realize that who he was was exactly who he wanted to be.
What do you ask God for? Have you ever asked for a pure heart? Have you ever asked God to show you the way to be more like Him? Or are all of your asks and wants more about you? Have you ever thanked God for who you are, for who He made you to be?
God, we need to talk! This isn’t working for me. I have been doing everything you are asking me to. I am stressed, going insane, and a complete mess. I didn’t think this was how following you was supposed to be. Yes, I know it’s not all roses and champagne but I am lost. I don’t know how much longer I can stand in this hurricane on my own. The rain and winds are battering me, beating me down. Everytime I get a step up, I get knocked two steps back. God, why are you letting this happen to me? Can you not give me a day of relief?
Why now God? I had been doing so well hadn’t I? I could feel you with me. I could feel your presence just a short time ago. I called upon you and you were there. Everytime I would feel you I would feel like my heart was going to bounce out of my chest. I honestly would have tears in my eyes. Then, like that, you were gone and you haven’t been back. I feel like I am falling down a bottomless pit. I keep reaching up but I can’t find your hand. Where are you God?
To top it all off it is the start of the holiday season. Just when everyone else is getting in the spirit, I am falling apart. I am thankful for this. I am thankful for that. Blah blah blah. I don’t want to be harsh God but what do I have to be thankful for? I am at an all-time low. The winds are tossing and tumbling me about. I have been fighting, but God I am tired. I am tired of fighting. How can I fight an endless barrage of turmoil? How can I fight the insults? How can I fight the gossip? You know I have a hard time trusting people and now that wall is coming back up. We fought so hard to knock it down and we were doing a wonderful job but the more people I meet and the more I get out of my comfort zone, the more bricks are being put on the wall. Why do I do this? Why can’t I just trust people? Why can’t I just trust You? Why do I keep trying to do things my way?
Why am I so frustrated? With everything. Why can’t I appreciate what I have? Why can’t I be thankful?
Relocate. I need to relocate. Relocate my thoughts. If the hurricane is in my mind, I need to relocate my thoughts. Okay God, let’s give this a shot.
I am frustrated at my running injuries. It is getting me down. It has been two years since I have been able to run full speed. I am able to run but it is so much slower than I used to run. I am thankful I can run at all. It wasn’t that long ago that I couldn’t run because of the pain. Now I am starting all over again. I am not as fast as I used to be. Heck, I weigh twenty pounds more than I did then. God, help me to slowly lose the weight and slowly get faster and have more endurance.
I am depressed because this is a bad time of year for me. When the impossible became possible a few years ago. I am thankful our marriage is still together. I am thankful our family is still together. I am thankful that you ,God, were here in the midst of all of the pain and the rebuilding.
I am angry at certain people in my life. People that keep trying to throw me under the bus. People that believe the lies they are being told. They know the person I am and that I would never do those things but yet… I am thankful I have people in my life that believe in me. People that know who I am and that I don’t have to prove myself to them.
Well now that I read this over God, I don’t have much to complain about. A lot of people have it worse than me. I am sorry. Help them first. I will wait.
God, even though I have doubts about what you are doing in my life, I am thankful that you are in my life. Even though I wonder where you are, I am thankful that I can see you all around me. I am thankful I have eyes to see the beauty of the world you made around me. I am thankful I have ears to hear the beautiful sounds. I am thankful I have arms and legs. I am thankful I have a mind, even though it can be delusional. I am thankful I have a wife, a family, a home, food to eat, and a job to go to.
God, I want to tell you I am most thankful for you. Thank you for listening. I was a little upset earlier but just talking to you has helped. I should’ve done that a long time ago instead of letting all this fester inside me.
God, take me where you want me to go. I pray that I will follow and be thankful for where we end up. God, give me words to speak . I pray that I will use them wisely and that they will help others in this world. God, give me heart of gratitude. Give me an appreciation of thankfulness for what I have. Thank you for loving me enough to die for me.
I will try to remember all the good you have done for me when I am in times of trouble. I will try to remember that these times will make me stronger. I will be thankful that you are there through all of it. Thank you God for forgiving me when I doubt, for loving me when I hate, and for all the wrong I do when I am just me. I want to be more like you. Thank you God for giving me that chance.
A few more musician followers this week. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thank for the follows.
Have a great friday.
Sweet Caroline (cover) by Navaka Fernando –
Make You Proud by Jacey Jasnoch –
Sky Arts Guitar Solo by Gab Zsapka –
Some non-followers I have been listening to this week.
Note To Self by Ben Rector – this entire cd is good, I had never heard of Ben before but after hearing this cd I went and checked out his earlier cds.
Waitin’ On A Plane by Maddie and Tae –
All Over Again by Stryper –
Someday You’ll Be A Story by Melee –
Dancing All Around It by Mike Ryan –
Rescue Me by Digital Summer –
Home Movies by David Cook –
Gotta Get To Jesus by The Collingsworth Family –
Somewhere In Stockholm by Avicii –
Singing To Strangers by The Wood Brothers –
Father by Demi Lovato –
Run This Town by Corb Lund –
Soldier On by Sidewalk Prophets –
Stronger by Building 429 –
Where I Am Now by Don Henley –
Teach Me How To Love by John P Kee –
Wedding Ring by Glen Hansard –
Winner by Denise Renee –
and our song:
I Question You by Lily Messer –
Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943
Well here I am home from NYC. Be prepared for a long read. As you know I was thrilled to find out that last year running the Columbus Marathon that I qualified for NYC marathon and Boston. I do what I love to do and it is to run. I ran my long runs and ran the NYC marathon on our treadmill (we have one of the ifit google map ones where we can run anywhere in the world) over and over again. I was also battling my back issues with L3-4 injury along with bulging disc. Went on with training and starting to have hamstring issues and glute issues as well. I just kept training and icing. There were times while training my runs would consist of my left leg buckling under me on the road or on treadmill. The only way I can explain it is I felt at times that I was going to fall. I continued to fuel ( w/ Arbonne) and eat clean, like I always do. I wanted to do my best when NYC was here. I was aiming for 3:30 finish time. I did Columbus in 3:42 so why not do better. I can say that NYC is a tough course! It was truly an experience from getting up at 4 am to walking to the subway to get to Staten Island Ferry and catch the ferry at 6am to then get on a bus to take us to the start. Once off the bus you then walk to your village to stay there and wait for your wave. I was in the orange village. Once in your village you are just outside waiting for your start time ( mine was 9:50). Imagine being outside that long just to start a race! Just sitting on the ground keeping warm and stretching and talking to whomever or sleep. Your wave gets called and it is time. Time to pound the ground for 26.2 miles through the city of New York and crossing 5 bridges. What a true way to see the city. The start came and I was able to get some pictures when I took off. It was packed! As my race began I was feeling good. Did not feel as nervous as I thought I was going to be once it started. My first half ( 13 miles) I felt good. I thought I had a good pace going and was able to look around and take in the crowds and see some of the buildings. Then mile 14 I felt pain in my back and it would go down my left leg. That feeling of buckling under came and went throughout the rest of the race. I told myself I was not going to stop.
I knew at times I would have to walk but I was not going to stop. Then I saw him and Kylie and pointed to my leg. I knew I was done, I knew I was not going to finish in the time I wanted and it started to get to me. I was getting disappointed and in pain. I powered through and recall texting Rob “pain” around mile 19. Needless to say I finished in 4:17 ( by far my worse run). I crossed the finished line w/ mixed emotions of joy, accomplishment, sadness and disappointment. What will others think of me after I told them what I was aiming for? What will Rob think of me let alone my children Kylie, Kelsey, Kayhla and Kirstie?
I looked up into the heavens and knew that God was proud of me! That I do know!! Once crossing the line all I wanted was to get to my family. The long walk to get them was nuts. You get the malar wrap to keep you warm and then a bag of recovery fuel and food then the warm poncho. Still no family. To walk that walk and to see all the other runners with smiles or pain was overwhelming. So many runners getting help from the medics for whatever reason was nuts. I had some that came to me and asked if I was okay. I finally got to my family and it was the best feeling ever. Rob and Kylie were so sweet and loving to me as we walked back to the hotel. I still felt disappointment, and pain, as we walked.
Not much was said on the plane ride back to Ohio or the ride home. I just wanted to shower and go to bed. Monday came and I was sore and still heartbroken. I believe I slept most of the day until it was time for my training sessions in the evening. Yep, right back to work I went (I just didn’t do the workouts). I felt like a failure when my clients came but they did not see me that way, they saw me as an inspiration, they saw me as an encourager, a fighter. Why could I not see myself that way? Tuesday was not any better, ever little thing set me off and I cried. Was this going to stop? Was I going to be able to put this race behind me and let it go and move on? I knew deep down I was going to get to that point of letting it go. Maybe God was waiting for me to learn from this experience before I could move on.
As I look back on this today ( while stretched out on the couch with pain shooting down my glutes and legs) I am wondering what does God want me to take from this? I am a winner, regardless of my time, I accomplished something only others wish they could do. He is teaching me that running does not define me ( regardless of time). He is also reminding me that I have to take care of the temple ( body) he gave me, it is the only one I have. I need to take time and recover, slow down etc. something I am NOT good at by any means. I always want to run. I need to remember I have a family that counts on me and wants me around for years to come. My take away from this. I know I am playing the should of, would of, could of thoughts in my mind and beating myself up. I can not let this get the best of me. As my new friend (Theresa) told me don’t let it get to me, grieve over it but don’t let it eat me. Grieving I am ( maybe only a runner understands) but I know it won’t define me. I know yesterday I did not wear my medal because I was down and for that I am sorry. Like I have been hearing I am a winner, I accomplished something huge, I FINISHED!
I know I beat myself up. I know I push myself way too much. It is time to scale back and take it slow. I am going to take some time off from running and will replace it with strength training, core work, and yoga ( I have to do something). I have Boston coming up in April and I want to be healed. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement along the way. I am a winner and I know that (even though it does stink at times when I still think about it) and I know I am loved and made people proud. It truly is a tough course, I will give NYC that. I am so glad I qualified. I won’t say I will not do it again because knowing me I will be back to conquer the course. #TCSNYCmarathon .
My God let me take on the experience of a life time. This marathon, regardless of how big I thought it was, does not define me. I am a runner, regardless if I finished at 4:17, I am a marathon runner. However, even running does not define who I am. So be it I was able to qualify for awesome marathons, so be it I am able to run each and every day. That does not make who I am. What makes me is that I am a child of God and He loves me regardless of my time on a race clock or a Garmin watch. I am a mother to four beautiful girls and three grand children. I am a wife to a wonderful, devoted Christian man and they love me regardless of the time on the clock. My family needs me and I need them. They need me to be injury free so I can be there for them any hour, any minute of the day. God needs me to be His obedient servant and use my talents that He has blessed me with. The people I help overcome the fear of running a 5k (3.1 miles) for their first time in Run For God classes. My clients that I push on a daily basis for them to overcome them saying “I can’t lift this, I can’t jump that.” The elementary girls that I served as their coach in Girls On the Run. That is what God remembers, He does not remember the time on the clock, the number of laps completed. He remembers us being His children. What defines us is how we overcome our setbacks, and this was a setback for sure. I did not get my time I wanted but I finished none the less. I accomplished something huge that November morning and it will forever be etched in my brain and on my heart.
This race defined how tough and determined I am and that I can do all things when God is on my side. He is the one who got me through to the end–to finish and I thanked Him for that when I crossed. I am taking this time and allowing God to come into my soul even deeper, I know there is a reason behind His works and it is not for me (or us) to question them but to have faith and know He is here and He has walked what we have experienced. I am not a failure!! I am a winner, I am a runner and more importantly I am a child of God who loves me regardless, as so does my family. To top this all off, God works in wonderful ways, He knows my spirits were down and He knows I was getting up and dusting myself off and what arrives in my mailbox Wednesday?…..2016 Boston Marathon Confirmation of Acceptance letter. Yep, time for me to let it go, rest, heal my back and hamstring, get a doctors perspective of my injuries and what to do because I have 5 months to show that I can and will overcome and I will be that 3:30 marathoner.
Running With God – Christian Motivation –
You Can Live Your Dream – Motivation –
The Sound Of Footsteps – Motivation –
Running Through Hell – Motivation –
Running In The Rain – Motivation –
I Will Fight – Christian Motivation –
The Strength of God Resides In You – Christian Motivation –
My wife, Kim, ran the TCS New York City Marathon on November 1st. She wanted to do 3:30 and was on pace for it for 14 miles then…
I call Kim the 7:30 per mile runner. She runs on a treadmill so much that she almost always is in that area. It doesn’t matter if she runs a 5k, 10k or 13.1 miles (half marathon). Her pace per mile is always within 2-3 seconds of 7:30. I pushed her, as well as a couple friend runners, to get out of that zone and she did. During training she actually ran a 5k race under 7:00 per mile and she did a couple long runs where she was in the low 7:10 range. Even on her longer run of 17-18 miles she was doing 7:40-7:45 miles. A couple training runs her left leg would give out on her for a second but we didn’t think much of it.
For the first time ever she actually scaled back before a race. She only ran 9 miles the week of the race, and usually she would do 20-25. She did everything right for this race. She was going to hit her goal of 3:30.
Then mile 14 her leg started to give out. By the time she reached where we were at mile 16 she looked at me and said pain and pointed to her left leg. Then at mile 19 she actually stopped and texted me PAIN!!!! Maybe she should’ve stopped but I know her and if you are a runner you know you won’t stop unless you are dead. She had to walk several times and actually had some miles that were 12-13:00 minutes. She did finish in 4:17, by far her worst marathon but it was still an experience.
My wife took it hard. If you know her you know she was mad, sad, disappointed, and heart-broken. She felt physically, mentally and spiritually broken…for a minute. Then she said she won’t let this define her or who she is. This is just one race.
Which brings me to today’s topic. We all have disappointments. Times when someone or something lets you down. Times when we think God has let us down. Times when our whole being is tested. Times when we think our whole world is falling apart.
How you respond is how you will live your life. You can get right back up or you can wallow in your defeat. You can get mad at everyone around you or you can welcome them into your home so they can encourage you and help pick you up. You can turn away from God or you can get closer to God.
How will you let your disappointments, setback and failures define you? Do you forgive those that disappoint you? Do you forgive yourself for your own disappointments, mistakes, setbacks?
Do you let it define who you are in God? God only sees you as His child. He loves you and wants you to succeed. Like any parent though, sometimes He lets you do it on your own so that your character will grow.
Today I will just talk about our trip. Tomorrow I will talk about the marathon. First I will say my legs were tired. A lot of walking. The subways were easier than I thought they would be. We didn’t get lost any. The only person we met that was rude was the subway ticket guy our first day. He asked how many rides do you want? I don’t know, there are four of us and we want to go to 9/11 Memorial which I know is where this train stops. He says it doesn’t matter where you are going, how many rides do you want? I don’t know I said, how many does it take? He says it depends on how many rides you want. At this point I thought about saying I didn’t know this was an amusement park but the Christian in me just smiled and said I guess two for each of us. He gives me a subway card with two rides on it. I said I need eight since there are four of us and he goes why didn’t you say that in the first place. Only thing I could do was smile and say have a nice day. I definitely recommend getting a NYC Pass if you go. For one fee you get to see over 80 sites instead of paying a small fortune to see them individually.
After that though everyone was friendly and helpful. If we had a question we would ask someone and they always pointed us in the right direction. Something my gps on the phone didn’t always do. When Kylie and I went to Madame Tussauds wax museum I knew about where it was from being in Times Square the night before. However, the gps had us go two blocks in the opposite direction before I realized we were going the wrong way. I should’ve realized it when we were walking away from Times Square but Kylie and I were talking and having fun and saw some other places along the way.
One of the most amazing things to see for me was the 9/11 Memorial and the new World Trade Centers. Just to be where of one of the most horrific events in America’s history happened. It was humbling to be in the spot where so many perished and so many were hurt, and to know God was there through all of it. To know so many were saved by the heroic efforts of so many firefighters, policeman, paramedics and everyone else that helped sort through the rubble and debris for hours on end. It was amazing to see how close St. Paul’s Cathedral is to the WTC and to know it wasn’t touched by the evil of that day but was instead used by so many to find comfort, rest, food, etc. during the clean up. I don’t know if this is intentional on the new WTC or if it was the way the light shined on it that day we were there or what but there is/was a cross on it that day.
Our first day we went to the expo to pick up Kim’s race day packet. We then went to ground zero, Statute of Liberty from a distance, St. Paul’s Cathedral and Times Square that evening.
Our second day we were up early and went to the Empire State Building, road The Ride inside it, went to Rockefeller Center and Top of the Rock, St Patrick’s Cathedral and Central Park as a family.
Then that evening while my mom rested and Kim rested for the marathon Kylie and I went back out by ourselves to Times Square and Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.
Sunday morning was race day for Kim so we had a lot of time to explore Central Park more while we waited for the runners.
No music today but I will leave you with some more pics.
My God, My Music, My Life 