struggling – My God, My Music, My Life

Been a long time since I picked up the phone

But tonight, the demons have come back home

And damn, I’m not feeling all that strong

And I really don’t know if I want you to say hello

My hands are shaking at what you’ll be thinking

First thing you’ll ask is have I been drinking

I’m about to hang up when it starts ringing

You pick up and I say I’m sorry, I don’t know

And you say it’s okay, tell me what’s on your mind

And we sit in silence as the words are too hard to find

And I ask, do you ever wish we could hit rewind?

Before there was a me and you, before the scars

Damn, I was happy before it all got messed up

I was okay before we fell in love

And I always believed I was enough

Now I can’t unbreak my heart

And I know there’s nothing you can say

I’m trying to get through this day

Trying to believe something good will come my way

And I’m sorry I picked up the phone

Just feeling like the darkness has taken over the light

And it’s so hard to keep on fighting but I fight

And I really don’t know why I called you tonight

Guess I was hoping to feel a little less alone

I have been struggling for the last week or so. Don’t know why, just comes out of the blue sometimes. This introvert may just be getting anxious for all the extrovert stuff coming up in the next few weeks. Volunteering at Columbus Marathon since not running it this year, me injured and wife doing NYC instead. Then going to NYC for a weekend for the marathon and to do some tourism with money I don’t have to spend. Bad time of year coming up for me with bad memories. Etc. etc.

Anyway, I listen to music and usually when I finish the songs I had on this month I will revisit older cd’s. I listen to the songs in alphabetical order by title so I don’t hear same singers, or genres, all the time. Takes me about a month to go through 500 songs or so. However, God put it in my head to start listening to next months and these four songs were what I needed to hear so I wanted to share.

Just a reminder that God is there. We just have to ask, confess, repent, and He will come find us.

Awakened by Denise Renee –

Come Find Me by Alabama – yes I know love song but I can hear it as a plea to Jesus to come find me, even as I am just blowing along and on the ledge, I need my friend, come find me (even though I should be finding Him)