“Come on in friend. I was just reminiscing on my younger days. Looking at all these old pictures brings back memories.”
“Take a look at this one. I was just a baby. My first shell.”
“I still relied on my parents a lot. They taught me what was going to happen as I got older. They taught me how to be polite and how to treat my friends, as well as strangers. One of my favorite things my parents taught me was to be kind to everyone. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. You never know when you are going to need someone to help you and they won’t if you are mean all the time.”
“Oops. You weren’t supposed to see that one. My mom took it in between shells. She embarrassed me so many times by showing that one to my friends. Moooommmmm!!!!!!”
“Here is me as a teenager. That shell was a little too small for me. I thought I knew it all then. I forgot how my parents told me how important it was to get the right shell. Too small and I will have to move again soon. Too big and I would have to carry that weight around until I could fill it.”
“That didn’t keep me from getting this shell as a young adult. Look how big it is.”
” I got it shortly after I left the care of my parents. I was going to take on the world. I didn’t need anything or anyone except me. I was growing so fast I was constantly changing shells. I was invincible. I ran over anyone who stood in my way.”
“Then I needed someone. Everyone just walked around me. That’s when I remembered what my parents had taught me. I was being terribly mean to everyone around me. It’s no excuse but it wasn’t easy for me to change shells. Every time I got comfortable and things were going my way I would grow a little more and have to leave my comfortable home. ”
“All I wanted was to have things stay the same. I liked many a shell and had to leave them. Some of my friends didn’t grow like I did and were able to settle into their shells for far longer times. Some even stayed in the same shell their entire lives. They were too scared to leave and to grow into a new shell. Can you believe that? ”
“I, however, changed each time I changed my shell. Not all of those changes were good but, looking back, I can see how they all helped me become who I am today. I have become wiser , kinder, and more giving. You see , as I moved out of a shell that left a shell for someone else to move into. A younger version of me if you think about it. I could mentor them and teach them what I have been taught.”
“Life isn’t always sunshine on a beach. Sometimes you get these big waves, and sometimes the small ones too, that knock you on your back. You have to fight to get back on your feet. Fight for what you believe in. Become a stronger, better crab.”
“Have you ever had someone be there for you every time you needed them? I didn’t think I did either but I did. And I do.”
“You see, one day I was just getting into a new shell when some humans were walking by. I heard them talking about God. How he made the sunrises and the sunsets I see every day. They were telling their children about how much he loved them. How he is always with them. When they are tired he can carry them. When they struggle he can help them overcome. They told them about his grace and how he forgives them for their mistakes. They even told them about who they are in him. That no matter what happens in this world, they are his children and they are loved and cherished by him. He even gave his one and only son to them and let him die on a cross to show how much he loved them. ”
“I wish I would’ve heard about God a lot sooner in my life. Maybe I wouldn’t have made a lot of the mistakes I did. I would’ve known that I didn’t have to live with those mistakes. I could live guilt and shame free and be forgiven.”
“I will also tell you God has a plan for me, and for you. Even in times of struggle, stay true to Him and His promises. Some of the hardest times in my life turned out to be blessings. I learned so much about who I am when I had to leave one shell for another. The moments when I was vulnerable and felt unprotected. The times when the shell didn’t fit just right but I had to hold on and wait for a better day. Those are the the times I remember the most.”
“Now that I have told you about what I know about God will you go tell your friends. Let’s learn more about Him together. Let’s go treat others like we want to be treated. It’ll be hard and some will reject what we have to say but we have to stay steadfast. Stay true my friend, stay true.”
“Step right up, come on in, only a dollar” shouted the carny. He looked right at me and my friends. “Come on in boys, this will change your life” and he winked at me. I don’t know but my gut was telling me something was wrong. My friends wanted to go in and since I didn’t want to be left out, I went in with them.
It wasn’t much at first. A conveyor belt going the opposite direction. Oooh scary right? We made a tight turn to the right and the floor started shaking. Everyone started to laugh but the feeling inside me was getting worse. It was then the lights went out. We started reaching out, touching each other to make sure we were all still there. We slowly inched forward and hit a wall, promptly piling into each other. Then the lights came on and that was when the fun began.
We were looking at ourselves, all four versions of each of us. We looked at each other like what the crap, a couple of my friends used some other choice words. In one mirror there was me, looking as normal as I am now, if you can call that normal. In the second mirror I was a hideous monster. What the heck? The third mirror I was a baseball player, uniform, glove and all. How could this be? I only was wearing the clothes I came in with. The fourth mirror showed me as an old, decrepit old man, all by myself. It was then we realized there was no exit. We did the only thing we could and started to push on the mirrors. The only one that moved was the second one. We all looked at each other and kind of shrugged and took a step through. But we weren’t all together on the other side.
There I was, the hideous monster. I pulled on my skin and clothes to get them to come off but they were me and I was them. It was then I noticed a small light in the distance. I walked toward it and saw it was a cell phone. It had a note on it. PRESS PLAY. What I saw disgusted me and I wish I didn’t have to tell you about it, but I do. It was 15 second clips of my life. There was me eight years old pushing the other kids down on the playground. There was me twelve years old stealing a cassette from the local music store. There was me sixteen years old with my girlfriend. We were in the backseat and she said she wasn’t ready but I said we had already gone too far so let’s keep going. There was me at nineteen at a college party when a bunch of guys took a passed out girl upstairs and I didn’t stop them. There was me at twenty two when I didn’t take the keys from my friend and he drove home drunk, but he didn’t make it. There was me at home instead of visiting my dad before he passed away. There was me watching a movie instead of calling a friend who was home alone, waiting for me to call. There was me ignoring my wife because of past mistakes. Was I really this monster? Is this how others see me?
Then we were all back in the same room of mirrors. We all looked at each other like what was that? No one was laughing now. We pushed on the mirrors again but only the third one opened this time.
There I was, at Wrigley Field, pitching for the Cubs. The crowd was chanting my name. Oh yeah, this is what I was made for. They all love me. I was on the mound, World Series, game seven, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two on, two strikes. One more strike and I bring a championship to Chicago. The wind up, the pitch…and I heard it. My shoulder popped. Then I heard the crack of the bat as it connected to the ball. Then I heard the silence. Just like that it was all over. The game, my career, my life. I was so angry. I was mad at God. How could He bring me to this moment and then let it all go? One pitch. It was all over. What kind of God would do that to me? I shut everyone out. I drank myself to sleep every night. I didn’t know the women’s names I would wake up to. I didn’t care. I went from 60,000 people screaming my name to the deafening silence of my own thoughts.
There we were again. All six of us in the same room of mirrors. Mark said that wasn’t so bad. “Let’s get this over with,” said Scott. We looked at each other and hesitantly stepped into the fourth mirror.
There I was. A decrepit old man. No one there but me. A lifetime of choices led me to here. A lifetime of bad choices. How did I get here? I was a good guy once. I believed in God, once upon a time. I looked in the mirror and the mirror looked back. Was this really me? Then I was gone. There in my casket, all by myself. Honestly, all by myself. No one came to say goodbye. Not one single person! Was I that unloveable and selfish? Was I really that bad of a person? I guess the truth hurts because I must’ve been for not one single person to show up.
We were all back in the room of mirrors. A couple of my friends said how cool their mirrors were. They hope their lives turn out like that. I didn’t have anything to say. This time the first mirror, the normal mirror, opened and we walked through. A couple turns and a few distorted mirrors later we were at the exit.
“Hey boys, how’d you like it? Did you like what you saw?” said the carny. “The mirrors don’t lie boys. If you didn’t like what you saw, you still have time to do something about it.” That was when he looked at me again and winked and gave me something. I was too terrified to look at it so I stuck it in my pocket and left. He turned around and started shouting , “step right up boys and girls, come on in, only a dollar and it will change your life.”
I forgot about what he gave me until I got home and undressed. It fell out of my pocket. A small bible with a note inside. Read this if you want to change your life. Read this if you didn’t like what you saw in the mirrors. It is your choice.
Monster by Skillet –
All Of Me by Meatloaf –
Ain’t Much Left Of Me by Blackberry Smoke –
These Things I Hate (Revolves Around Me) by Bullet For My Valentine –
I was shivering. Strange, since when I went to bed I put an extra blanket on and set the thermostat to heat up the house at 6:00. I then realized I was also wet. I startled awake only to realize I wasn’t in my warm bed. I was in some type of… give me a minute to look around. I was in some type of maze. Confused, bewildered, baffled, were some of the words that came to mind. I had to be dreaming, but I wasn’t.
I yelled out, but no one answered. I did the only thing I could and started to walk. Around this bend, turn left here, turn right there, dead end, start again. I then saw a note up ahead. I read it: If you have ever lied turn left at the next turn. Well yeah I have lied, who hasn’t? I came to the turn and went left. After about 200 yards or so I found another note. If you have ever stolen anything, turn left again. Unfortunately, I had to turn left. I kept walking for another 200 yards and yet another note. If you have ever dishonored your mother or father turn left again. Well, to be honest I am sure I have but if I did maybe it was just something little like talking back or missing curfew. Guess my answer was already made for me because the only way I could turn was left.
I know I just walked in a square but yet I was someplace new. Hanging up at the end of this walkway was a mirror. As soon as I looked into it I heard the voices. You are ugly. You aren’t good enough. No one likes you. Your kids don’t even like you. Look at your body, what have you done to it. You are a disgrace. Why are you even alive?
I covered my face with my hands and ran. I ran as fast and as far as I could but I could not get the voices out of my head. I came to another intersection.
Have you ever committed adultery? Well. Not physically. Then another voice: that doesn’t matter. Have you or haven’t you? Okay, yes I have! Correct. Go right.
Have you ever murdered someone? Of course not, I said. Are you sure about that? Yes, I am positive on that one. Then the images came to me like it was yesterday. The girl I talked into sleeping with me. She was so young and innocent. I wanted her. She said no but eventually I wore her down and she gave in. I murdered a piece of her that night. I murdered a piece of the boy I used to make fun of because he wasn’t like me. Oh God! Make this stop. Good try! God isn’t here and he isn’t coming. This is my world and you are just a pawn in it. Go right.
Have you ever worshiped someone other than your so called God? Have you ever used your so called Gods name in vain? Have you ever …. GO RIGHT I SAID!
NO!! I screamed. I don’t have to listen to you. I don’t have to go where you want me to. I can break this. I can walk away. You are a liar.
No, you can’t. Remember you are a nobody. No one likes you, except me. You are what I need to change this world. YOU can follow me, YOU can rule the world with me. YOU can turn stones into bread. YOU can jump off a building and angels will catch you. I can make you into the most powerful person in this world. TURN RIGHT!!
No, that’s where you are wrong. I don’t want to be the most powerful person in the world. I don’t need to be liked by everyone because I know God loves me. I don’t need your lies. I just need to follow the truth. With that last word I sprinted as fast as I could, to the left, and ran and ran for what seemed like days. I didn’t realize that the maze was disappearing as I ran. I was breaking free from the chains that bind me. By the time I stopped it was all gone.
I fell to the ground. Exhausted. Sweating. Breathing hard. I didn’t hear the footsteps come up beside me. Maybe there wasn’t any. I heard his voice. The one I have heard many times throughout my life but ignored. I felt him kneel beside me. I felt his hand on mine. I heard him say well done. I heard him say I love you. I heard him say I want you. I heard him say you belong with me.
He picked me up and walked me back home. He said trust in me. Have faith in me. Love me. And just like that he was gone. But was he really?
I walked through this town I love so much and couldn’t believe my eyes. Everywhere I looked the city was in ruins. Every corner had something else wrong. Every block I walked all I saw was confusion. I went into my favorite store and had to take a step back. Something wasn’t right.
The buildings were still there. The architecture as beautiful as ever. It was the people. They were all walking around like robots. No one smiled. They all had the same blank stare. What happened to them? It’s like they were all….lost.
I smiled at a child. She smiled back. The mom looked at me like I was trying to kidnap her child. I smiled at her also but only received a glare in return.
I pulled out my phone to see if I missed some news on what is going on. I looked on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but nothing. All I saw were pictures of people smiling. Posts about how great their lives were. Tweets about how happy they are. I looked up over my phone and didn’t see that.
I decided to reach out to the 87,654 friends/followers I have on social media. No one responded. I was getting concerned so I decided to text the 70 people in my contact list that I never call and talk to. Again, no one responded.
I decided to go get a hamburger and some fries and try to figure out what is happening. After I ate, I didn’t feel so well. Come to find out the hamburger I ate was laced with steroids and synthetic hormones that has caused hormonal cancer rates to rise. Then I found out this is banned in Europe, Japan, Australia and China but yet we serve it in my town.
I then decided to get something to drink. I couldn’t decide between Coke, Pepsi or Gatorade. I looked on the label and noticed all of them contained brominated vegetable oil. From my science days I knew bromine was used as a flame retardant. This builds up in our bodies and can cause nerve damage, memory loss, and other issues. This has also been banned in over 100 countries, including Europe and Japan but here it is in my town. I then found out that bromine is used in some of the breads I eat.
I see young children running around the streets like they don’t have a care. I see them getting what they want, doing what they want, taking what they want. Weren’t they taught to earn what they get? Weren’t they taught that sometimes waiting for something is better than getting it instantly? Where are the parents?
I stood on the corner and yelled as loud as I could “God, help me!” I knew God was here somewhere but I could not find Him. The corner across from me had people yelling “God does not exist. He is not here and never has been. There is no God.” I yelled right back. “My God is here. He does exists. He has always been here.” Next thing I know I am being told I can’t talk about God here. I protested and asked why can they say there is no God but I can’t say there is. I was told because they have the right of religious freedom.
It was time for me to take a walk. Try to clear my head. What was happening here?
God, are you there? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why is my town turning into this? Why are people hurting inside but pretend they are okay? Why are people doing wrong and don’t even act like it bothers them? Why, God, are you letting this happen?
God, where are you?
I ran and ran as far as I could. When I stopped I saw the most amazing bright light. I had never seen anything like it. A breeze picked up and I heard, “where are you?” I looked around but didn’t see anyone. Then I heard it again, “where are you?”
Then that voice said “I have searched for you. I have called out to you. I have rescued you from the depths of sin many times. I have forgiven you. Why do you hide in shame from me? Why do you run from me? Why do you only question me in the worst times of your life? Why do you not think of me in the best times? What is this you have done? Why are you here in this place? Who told you I wasn’t here? Who told you I didn’t love you?”
Then the bright light disappeared and was replaced with a mirror. I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection. I then only had one question to ask myself.
originally published Oct 19, 2016 (it’s been a year already, crazy)
It wasn’t a good night. Alone again. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my doubts. Alone with my past regrets. That’s when I realized I wasn’t alone. Something, or someone was there with me. I could feel it. I would rather face off against Freddie Krueger.
I could feel it before I could see it. I looked around but I was the only one here. Fear crept in. The only sound was the sound of my too loud beating heart. Evil lurked. Looking for a place to land. It only needed a small opening and it waited patiently. I wasn’t going to let it in, but it waited. Evil is patient, waiting for its opportunity.
I fought the invisible evil. It wasn’t going to win. Doubts would sink in. At times I believed the lies. I was stronger than this. I had a power inside of me. I often forgot about this power. I often forgot about the strength it gave me. I wasn’t going to forget this time. I also knew I couldn’t do it alone. I yelled out to God.
The evil was gone. A peace overcame me. I stopped shaking. My heart calmed. I wasn’t naive though. I knew the evil would be back. It doesn’t give up easily. More importantly, I knew neither did God.
I had to get out of the house.
I liked walking on the beach. The wind coming off the ocean, the smell of it. The way the moon and stars shined their light off the waves. I could walk for miles. It was relaxing but there were no stars to light my way tonight. Only the light of a full moon, and it didn’t seem to be as bright as it should have been.
I walked along the beach. Even the waves didn’t sound the same. Like they were whispering to me. There was definitely a thickness in the air.
Something just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Was something in the house with me? Was it just my imagination? I couldn’t quite shake the feeling.
That’s when I saw him. Well, I guess I should say it. I couldn’t quite make out the form in the darkness but something was definitely there. He, or it, was hiding in the darkness under the pier.
My heart was starting to beat fast. Stop it, I said to myself. This is just your imagination acting up. There is nothing to fear.
I was getting closer to the pier. Maybe 30 feet away. I took a deep breath. My mind was playing tennis. Volley to the left, it’s going to be okay. Volley to the right, be prepared. It’s going to be you or him. Volley left, volley right. That’s when he stepped out and I could see it in his eyes. Volley right it is.
I had no weapon. Or at least I thought I had no weapon. God, be with me. I heard the scream, I saw the light. That’s when I fell to the ground.
Did someone sneak up behind me and hit me in the head? What was that light? I quickly did a self check and realized I wasn’t hurt. I looked up looking for the man but he was nowhere to be found. What just happened?
Add that to my list of weird things happening tonight. The list would be getting longer.
I know what you are thinking. I should turn around and just go back home. Lock myself in my room and say goodnight. I could not do that. I should’ve done that but something was telling me to keep moving forward.
I heard the screams. I ran to them. I know you are yelling for me to run away from them. I was thinking the same thing! I couldn’t do it. I am not a hero but I had to see if there was anything I could do.
They were huddled together at the dead end of a one way street. The look of terror on their faces is something I can never forget. They were looking upward. I followed their eyes and then I saw them. There had to be at least twenty, maybe more, of them. The legion of demons were hideous. They were attacking relentlessly. They disgusted me.
At one time or another they were all a part of my life. I am a sinner and I knew them all by name. There was greed, lust, fear, addiction, hopelessness, negative, pride, envy. I knew them well. There was also wrath, sloth, doubt, low self-esteem, failure, sorrow, gossip and hate. Many more I will not name but they were all following their leader Baal. I was actually surprised to see him. They usually let their minions do the work and don’t show their faces. With him here, I knew this was going to be a long battle.
That’s when I saw the glow. I looked down and I was shining like a light. I wasn’t alone. I looked around and there were many others with me. We had been brought together for this moment. We are the light of the world and now was the time to defeat the darkness.
We lit up the dark night. Many of the demons ran when they saw the light. Many others chose to fight. The light was their enemy. The truth was their adversary. Hope was their opponent. We were their prosecutors.
After a long, bloody, hard fought battle we were victorious. There was sadness in our victory. We lost some friends in the battle but they will forever be remembered as heroes. We will fight the good fight. Where there are demons, so will we be. We will honor the truth and defend it with our lives.
They will be back. We will be here when they return.
We are the light of the world and we will shine victorious.
Good Fight by Unspoken –
Soldier On by Sidewalk Prophets –
Never Burn Out by Stars Go Dim –
Same Power by Jeremy Camp –
Independence Day by Union Of Sinners and Saints –
Soldiers by Martin Smith –
Onward Christian Soldiers by Petra –
I’m Just Another Soldier by The Five Blind Boys Of Mississippi –
I was sitting in church and some of these words started coming at me. I said no God, I can’t write about this. Even though all the Birds stories are based on real-life events, I can’t write about this one. God was silent until I got home then the words started coming again faster than I could write them down. I don’t know if the right words were written down, I tried to remember them as they were coming, but I hope I can bring some healing to the tragedy. So…..
My name is Legend. I am a warrior. I fight the demons of this world. I fight your demons. Ones you never saw attacking you, ones that you fight each day. I stand with you.
I have to admit one thing that tears at the very depth of all that I am is loving my enemies. The same enemies I fight every day. I pray they will change. I pray they will find love instead of hate. The devil has them in a stranglehold. Another dies as their blood drips from the end of my sword. As their lifeless body lays at my feet I pray for them. I do not gloat or take pride in what I have done. It pains me greatly. It scars me more on the inside than the scars visible to you.
I have a confession to make. I am tired. More than that, I am worn out. Darkness is everywhere. I am only one man. I only have so much fight in me. I have more scars than freckles. I am on my knees begging God for help. Send me help God!Help me get off my knees and pick up my sword to fight again.
God’s answer was to go to His people. Here is my plea:
As I mentioned before, I am worn out. Yet, I pick myself up, grab my sword and head into the night to fight another battle. I fight your battles. It’s time for you to stand up. As I have prayed to God, I will ask of you the same. I need help. I need your help!
Make no mistake the devil knows your name. He keeps track of all the demons you let in. He knows when to send more. You have to put on your armor and you have draw you sword. Even then the devil will not stop. You have to be tenacious. You have to never give up.
The devil tells you to yell at your husband for forgetting to go to the store on his way home from work. Knock that demon on his butt and smile at your husband, be thankful he arrived home safe.
The devil tempts you with that new attractive coworker who is flirting with you. Take your sword and cut that demon in half. Look at that picture of you spouse and children on your desk. Be thankful for your family.
The devil tells you to yell at your child for spilling her milk at the dinner table. Destroy that demon with kind words and forgiveness. It take only a few seconds to clean up the milk, harsh words will be remembered forever. Be thankful you have a child. Many want one who can’t have one. Look in her eyes and tell her it’s okay. Tell her how much you love her.
These are just a few examples where you can help me. These are what I call the front line demons. The little ones that try to ruin your life. The little ones that open the doors to the big ones. The generals, the lieutenants, the corporals. You can not give in to them. You can not give in to the addictions, the temptations, the struggles that will rip your life to pieces. The ones that once they sink their teeth in are hard to defeat.
Ask not what God can do for you but what can you do for God. Ask not what people can do for you, ask what can you do for people. You can help me, you can help others fight the demons. Will you be God’s light in this dark world. Will you fight with me? Will you help me destroy these demons that attack you and other people?
I will fight them with you. I will stand by your side, sword drawn, ready to attack. Are you with me?
Tonight, as you get ready to sleep, drop to your knees and thank God for getting you through another day. Thank God for helping you defeat some demons today. Look deep into your heart and tell God everything you are thankful for. Then I want you to raise your head, lift your hands to God and let God hold your hands for this next thing. I then want you to look the devil in the eye and tell him to leave your life. He has no place in your life. I want you to say devil, do you not know who I am? I am a child of God. My name is —— and I am a warrior.
I am worn out but I will not quit. I see a light at the end of the darkness. I see hope. I see you. I see you picking up your sword. I see the demons on the ground, laying at your feet. I see me on your left. I see God on your right. We will win this fight!
My name is Legend. I am a warrior. I have renewed strength. I will never give up fighting the darkness of this world.
Psalms 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.
My God, My Music, My Life 