Let Me Win, But If I Can’t Win

On August 10, 2015August 28, 2015 By roberthansen1317In athletes, best of what you have, Christian life, do your best, I can, music, special olympics, the least of these5 Comments

The motto of the Special Olympics is “Let me win, but if I can not win, let me brave in the attempt.” With 6,500 athletes and 2,000 coaches representing 165 countries, along with 30,000 volunteers and an anticipated 500,000 spectators, the 2015 Special Olympics World Games will be the largest sports and humanitarian event this year.

This past week I took the time to watch the Special Olympics World Games. Something I have never done before. After watching these athletes compete and hearing some of their stories, I am truly inspired. From the outside most of them don’t look like the rest of us, but on the inside most of them are better than the rest of us.

One athlete said I don’t worry about what I can’t do, I do the best at what I can do. I have gained confidence in myself. Confidence to push myself to the limits to be the best I can be. I do the best with what I do have and I don’t worry about what I don’t have. I could sit around all day and do nothing but what is the fun in that. The American Dream is about working hard and doing the best you can.

How many of us are so consumed and worried about trying to have more, trying to keep up with the Jones’s, trying to get a bigger house, faster car, a better spouse that we lose track of what we do have. I had a smaller house that I grew up in and I never thought it was small. It was all we needed. The average home in 1970 was 1523 square feet. In 2013 it was 2384 square feet. Adjusted for inflation, the prices of these homes today cost 32% more than they did 35 years ago. What could we all do with less? Less house equals less house payment equals less stress, less cleaning and less distance between others in your house. We don’t have to have bigger, better, more of this world. What could we all do with more money, more freedom, more joy, and more time with loved ones. Whether it is your job, your house, your car, your spouse, or your abilities be content with what you have and do the best you can with that.

Another athlete finished first in the 100 meter dash and second in the 200 meters. In her interview she said it’s okay, you don’t have to be first all the time. The most important thing is being a good sport and cheering on your teammates. This is the same athlete who is also battling cancer but quit her treatments so she could compete in these games.

Are you always trying to be first and when you don’t do you get upset? Do you forget how lucky you are just to be able to compete? Do you remember your coaches and teammates that helped you get to where you are? When another teammate messes up do you help pick them up or do you kick them when they are down?

Another athlete said he has to practice, do the hard work and have the dedication to try even when he doesn’t feel like it. He has to be consistent in his training. Then I know win or lose, I did my best today.

How many of us say I can’t run, I can’t eat healthy, I can’t find time for my kids, instead of saying I can and I will find a way. I can’t is a powerful phrase. It makes the possible impossible. However I can is even more powerful. Once you get it in your mind that you can, you will. My wife said she can’t run a marathon. Then we would watch The Biggest Loser and watch the contestants turn their I can’ts into I can and run one. She ran her first marathon and now feels silly for all the times she said she couldn’t because now she can and she does.

Appreciate your uniqueness, appreciate your haves and don’t worry about your have not’s. No matter what you do go all in and don’t give up. It may take time but you will reach your goals. All of us have a light inside us. All of us has a power that can’t be extinguished. Will you let your light shine?

Don’t let your first impression be your last impression. Get to know someone and you may be surprised how much they can make you a better person.

Reach Up By O.A.R feat. Cody Simpson – theme song for the Special Olympics

Fly by Avril Lavigne – for the Special Olympics –

Rise Up – Special Olympic Closing Ceremony Film –

Never Give Up –

God’s Will by Martina Mcbride –

We Can Do It by Geoff Levin –

Along The Way by Tylee Ross –

Special Olympics through the eyes of the athletes –

The story of Tim Harris –

Nick Vujicic –

Share the Journey –

You and I by Tania Fiza Rozlan –

New, forgotten, unknown 8/7/15 – New music Friday

On August 7, 2015August 7, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, new music FridayLeave a comment

I can’t believe it is August already. Some new musician followers this week to give a shout out to. Thanks for the follows. Once school starts next week I will try to do a special blog about some authors that follow me. I would like to read their books first but I don’t have that much time in a day. I appreciate everyone that follows me. I pray God will use the words He gives me to bring others to Him.

Please share our song at the bottom.

Victory In Jesus by Kristeen Nicole Gillooly –

He’s All Around by Christiana D’ Amore –

Rising Flames by Last Chance City –

Pi by Ari Zizzo –

If The Sun Burned Out (album Preview) by Above Stars –

Fall Into The Sea by Resistant Hearts –

Here Before by Reverse Order –

We Will Not Be Shaken by The Keirls –

Show Me The Money by Lux Lisbon –

Our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

Today Was A Good Day

On August 5, 2015August 5, 2015 By roberthansen1317In be happy, Christian life, good day, music, rejoice in the day God has made, Today was a good day, water park, zoo3 Comments

Because of Kylie’s attitude and personality I don’t think she has had many bad days. I can’t tell you how awesome it is though when she looks at you and says “today was a good day.” She says it quite often but it never fails to make me smile.

Today was one of those days. We went to the Columbus Zoo for about an hour then went to Zoombezi Bay. I had the girls we watch with us since Kim is in Florida. We did water slides, wave pool, lazy river, and the kids area. It was a beautiful, sun and fun filled day. It wore Kylie out because she fell asleep within minutes of getting in the car.

It got me thinking. How many good days have I had? Days where at the end I said “today was a really good day.” I can’t really think of too many. Today was definitely a good day but then I think I have so much to do when I get home. Kim is going to kill me if she sees the house like this when she gets home. Today was a good day but I have to go back to work tomorrow. Today was a good day but…. why do we let ourselves ruin a good day. Why can’t we just enjoy the moment, enjoy the day God has given us and not worry about other things.

I could have 99 things go right at work but when Kim asks me how my day was I complain about the one thing that messed my entire day up. Seriously, it might have been a problem that took ten minutes of my day to resolve but I fail to mention the rest of my good day. It was a good day until….

How many times have we been enjoying a day with the family then work calls and just ruins everything and puts you in a bad mood. I used to work for a boss that was like that. I worked 60-70 hours a week and then he would call on my day off or call at nine at night. I can’t tell you how many times he called on a Saturday night, after just seeing me all day Saturday, to say I don’t like how you did something, we will talk about it Monday. I would say what is it and he would say we will just talk about it Monday. Then why are you calling me on Saturday night. Then I would worry all day Sunday on what he was going to say, if I still had a job or what and not enjoy my time with my family. Monday would come and he would forget what he wanted to talk to me about but I let it ruin my good day with my family. I don’t work there anymore. My family and my life are more important than money. I have never been happier.

When Jesus was on the cross do you think He was thinking, this is a really bad day? Did the disciples think it was a bad day? I don’t know what they were thinking but I now know that three days later was the best day in history. It was the day God had made to save us from our sins and death was defeated.

Next time you think you are having a bad day, count your blessings. Think of the things that went right. I bet more times than not you will have more good than bad happen. If by chance your day did totally stink, go home and be thankful you have a home to go to. Eat dinner and be thankful you have something to eat. Tuck your children in and go to bed and be thankful your family is safe. When you wake in the morning thank God for another day. Thank God you can get out of bed on your own. Thank God you are at home and not in a hospital.

Choose joy, not happiness. Choose to be thankful, not ungrateful. Be content. Never stop praying.

Today choose to have a good day.

Today was a good day!

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I made this video then realized I didn’t have enough pics of “today” to make the entire video so I had to include other good days. I started to think I wish I had taken more pics but then I wouldn’t have been in the middle of all the fun so I have the other pics in my head.

It’s A Good Day by Hilary Weeks –

We Are by Big Time Rush – just because I forgot them on Date Night post, I later added a song by them, and it is Kylie’s fav band. I think we saw them in concert 5 times.

Good Day by Ron Pope –

Good Day by J Moss –

Good Day by Jewel –

Pretty Good Day by Lonestar –

Good Day To Be Alive by Jason Gray –

Good To Be Alive by Skillet –

Best Days of My Life by Jason Gray –

Best Day by Taylor Swift –

Best Day of My Life by American Authors –

Happy Day by Tim Hughes –

Today Is The Day by Lincoln Brewster –

Good Life by One Republic –

My Greatest Day by Bowling for Soup –

Wonderful Day by OAR-

Happy by Pharrell Williams –

Best Day Ever from Spongebob –

Date Night

On August 4, 2015September 25, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, connect, date night, daughter date night, lessons learned, music, quiet time7 Comments

Lessons we all can learn from my daughter. She is wise beyond her years.

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Since my wife is in Florida, Kylie wanted to go out to eat. While the cat’s away, the mice will play is what we say. We don’t eat out much, mainly to save money but we also eat healthier at home. My wife is a personal trainer and health coach and she is an excellent cook. We eat a lot of healthy meals but we will still have pizza and other not so healthy foods occasionally. We even have had some meatless weeks. Try it. I feel so much better after the week of having no meat.

Kylie said she wanted to try buffalo wings since she has never had them. I said, “so do you want to go to BW3’s?”

Lesson 1:

She said “no, that’s more like a bar and it is too noisy. I want to go somewhere where it is quieter and we can talk.”

Hmmm. That kind of floored me. Someplace quieter so we can talk. That’s something we as adults don’t do enough of. At least I know I don’t. It also reminds me my wife and I do not go out enough to just spend time with “us”. We need to work on that.

We decide to go to TGIF’s because of endless appetizers. Mom would NOT approve. Kylie orders the buffalo wings, Memphis bbq style. I order the smoke-stacked burger and fries. (1800 calories in one meal. I had water to drink. It was good but not worth about 10-12 miles of running I would need to lose those calories.)

We start to talk and I text Kim to tell her what we ordered and Kylie says “give me your phone.” I thought she was going to text her mom also but no, she puts it on the outside of the table.

Lesson #2

She then says “no more phone during dinner.” I did use it to take pictures though. How many times have we gone out and spent the entire time on the phone and ignoring our families. The few times we have gone out to eat we are amazed of all the people doing this. We went out to dinner for our anniversary and there was a grandma with her two grandchildren and from the time they sat down, ordered the food, and then got the food, she was on the phone and her grandchildren were just sitting there doing nothing. How sad that in this world we choose to be connected to our phones, to sports scores, to news, to work -when we are off work- that we neglect the ones we should be connecting to. I’m not perfect. I have done it also. Next time you go out to eat make the no phones during dinner rule.

What did we talk about? We talked about our summer, school starting, the upcoming football season, and God. We talked about her being baptized soon. She wants to finish reading Discovering Jesus before she gets baptized. She has once chapter left then review. She said she does not want to do it in front of the entire church on a Sunday so we will need to schedule another time. I told her that’s what I did also.

Kylie eats plate #1 and gets plate #2. I believe she ate 11 or 12 of the 18 wings. When did she start putting food away like that? Plus she ate the celery (“because mom would be mad if I didn’t eat some vegetables.”) I guess we are all allowed a cheat day. It is when we do it every day that we gain weight, become unhealthy and start a downward spiral to health problems. Mom did not approve of our dinner.

We then come home and head up the stairs for Kylie to take a shower. As we are going up the stairs she says “I feel like a fat cow. I can’t believe I ate all that. My body is definitely not liking me right now.”

Lesson #3

Recognize when you have done something you shouldn’t. Whether it is eating too much (or not enough), or not exercising (or exercising too much), or drinking too much alcohol, pop, sugary drinks (and not drinking enough water) or whatever it may be. One extreme or the other. Recognize it and make a vow to yourself that you will remember this and not do it again.

“I think I ate too much.”

In summary: find someplace quiet to talk and talk, put away your phones and connect to the humans in your life, and recognize if you have gone to one extreme or the other and correct it. Break bad habits and start new ones.

Bonus lesson :

When you cook, or do anything, together, don’t leave the other person to clean up the mess. In case you were wondering, I am not the one that left the mess for someone else to do.

From our third night without mom.

These are some of Kylie’s favorite songs:

Diamonds by Manafest –

Til I Forget About You by Big Time Rush –

Eyes Wide Open by Sabrina Carpenter –

My Lighthouse by Rend Collective –

Lift Your Head Weary Sinner by Crowder –

Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan –

Somebody by Bridgit Mendler –

Runnin Outta Moonlight by Randy Houser –

I Need A Miracle by Third Day –

Fight Song by Rachel Platten –

Southern Comfort Zone by Brad Paisley –

Had Me At Hello by Olivia Holt and Luke Benward –

and some daddy/daughter songs

Daughters by John Mayer –

You’ll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins –

Daddy by Beyonce –

Walk With You by Edwin Mccain- this is more a wedding song but it can also be the slow sweet walk from baby to adulthood

I Remember

On August 3, 2015August 3, 2015 By roberthansen1317In alz.org, Alzheimer's Disease, Christian life, forget, God, hope, memories, music7 Comments

Growing up I always felt like I had a photographic memory. If not, I think it was pretty close. School was pretty easy for me and I hardly ever had to study because I could remember a lot. I know I didn’t have a true photographic memory because I did struggle in some classes, geometry for one. I did have a pretty good memory though.

I remember the one and only home run I ever gave up. It was in little league. I still remember how I felt. I knew as soon as it hit the bat it was going to go far. I think that 35 years later it is probably still be going. That’s how hard it was hit.

I remember the cold and snowy day my parents told my brother and me they weren’t going to get a divorce. I don’t remember knowing they were getting a divorce but I remember when they said they were staying together.

I’ve never been able to remember quotes from movies. I remember a lot of music though. I can’t memorize a bible verse. I know the gist of the verse and can look it up but to say Romans 1:8 or John 2:9 says this, I can’t do it. I can remember who my favorite athletes were growing up and most of their stats.

As I have gotten older, I still remember most things, except where I put my car keys. Strangely enough, I seem to forget a lot of things my wife asks me to do also. I catch myself forgetting some things though. I don’t think I would remember anyone’s birthday without Facebook. Phone numbers, forget it. I can barely remember mine but I blame that more on technology and not having to memorize them like we had to do when we were younger.

I worry about our younger generation. It doesn’t seem like they have to use their brains like we used to. Technology has let them not memorize things because they are stored in their devices. They can do an entire research paper from their laptop. When we had to go to library and get 3-4 books and read and translate it to paper and proofread it etc, our brains had to think. Now it’s copy and paste, proofreading is done for them – as long as the right word is used (red vs read, two vs too, etc.) There is not a computer that would correct that, it takes making your brain think about what you are writing.

The brain is a funny instrument. If you don’t use it, you can lose parts of it. Just like any other muscle in your body, it will deteriorate with time if you don’t use it. Challenge your brain, try memorizing phone numbers. Try doing brain game puzzles and thinking games. Keep alert.

I am writing this today because my wife is currently in Florida taking care of her mom who was recently diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. Her mom is having some depression because of it. Her mom passed away from Alzheimer’s Disease. Medicine and technology have came a long way since then but there is still no cure. Kim is also worried for her future since this seems to be hereditary. I pray that she cast her anxieties, worries and fears on you God.

I just can’t imagine what people with Alzheimer’s Disease go through. Forgetting how to do simple tasks, forgetting who your spouse, your children are, forgetting where you are or not remembering how to get home. I do know that God is always with you and He will never forget who you are. He knows what you are going through and I pray you will remember the peace that God can bring.

Dear God, I pray that You will comfort Pat as she begins this phase of her life. You know what she is going through and I pray that You will bring her comfort and peace in her times of confusion. I pray that she will find rest in Your arms. I pray for her husband Frank that You will give him strength and patience during this time. I pray for Kim and all her siblings that they know You are there and that You are walking beside their mom. I pray You are with all the grand-kids as they learn more and try to understand what is going on. In your name, amen.

I love you Meme.

For more information on Alzheimer’s Disease please visit alz.org or call the helpline 1-800-272-3900.

Could I Have This Dance by Anne Murray – Mom and Frank’s song

Grandpa Tell Me About The Good Ole Days by The Judds –

You Carry Me by Moriah Peters –

Just Be Held by Casting Crowns –

Shoulders by For King & Country –

I Am by Crowder –

Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets –

Healing Hand of God by Jeremy Camp (devotional video) –

Hope Now by Addison Road –

I Will Remind You by Brian Asselin –

Sometimes by Charlie McGettigan –

I Will Remember For You by David Michael Mainelli –

That’s How I’ll Remember You by David Nail –

I’m Not Gonna Miss You by Glen Campbell –

Where’ve You Been by Kathy Mattea –

Remember Me by Chris Mann –

From His Window by John Smith (musicians for a cause) –

Let Go by Dewayne Woods –

Mighty To Save by many but this one Laura Story –

House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert –

This Is The Time by Billy Joel –

New, forgotten, unknown 7/31/15 – New music Friday

On July 31, 2015July 31, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, music, new music, new music FridayLeave a comment

A few more new musician followers this week to give a shout out to. Think if this keeps up I might have to start doing two of these a week. Thanks for the follows. Don’t forget to check out our song on the bottom and feel free to share it.

Tate Olsen- cellist for Skillet –

Raised By A Good Time by Steven Lee Olsen-

Never Walk Away by Sleep Signals –

Transformed by Survivor Q –

Star in Your Car by Genny Sokoli –

No Distance by Those Among Us –

When You’re Not Looking by Alyssa Mae –

Good People by Silvertrain –

Let’s Make It Last by Michael Danielson –

Rise Up by Cenacle –

Final Seconds by Lord (Andy Dowling) –

Call My Name by Melancholic Metamorphosis –

Our song:

I Question You by Lily Messer –

Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943

How Satan Works vs How God Works

On July 30, 2015July 30, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, devil, devil is a liar, God, music, persecuted, Who will you followLeave a comment

My God, My Music, My Life

I am trying to spend more time with the family since school starts back in a few weeks. Where did this summer go? Seems like just a few days ago I wrote 23 days down, 59 days to go and now we are on the short end of those 59 days left. The devil lied when he said I had more time.

That leads me to thinking about all the lies the devil tries to get us to believe. Have you heard the saying “man plans, God laughs?” Meaning of course that God is in control of all our plans. What about the man falls for devils lies, deceptions, and trickery and the devil laughs harder. Probably not since I just made it up but can you picture it? Devil tricks us into sinning then laughs so hard he falls out of his chair because he got us again. When…

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How Satan Works vs How God Works

On July 30, 2015September 25, 2015 By roberthansen1317In armor of God, Christian life, devil, devil is a liar, God, music, persecuted, Who will you follow1 Comment

As many of you know I have been trying to raise $2000 to finish our cd. The devil knows that God will use my words and music to change someone. All it takes is for one person to change and the devil is defeated. This is how he tried to defeat me but I won’t allow him. My wife’s car broke down and we had to fix it. Cost $1430. My wife’s laptop then decided it would rather be a coaster than a computer. Since she needs it for her business we had to replace it. Cost $600. Do you think it’s a coincidence that when I could use $2000 to spread Gods word I get hit with $2030 in bills?

The devil will not faze me though, maybe in the past he would have but not now. God has had many people listen to the song and send me positive thoughts on it. I have many musician twitter followers so maybe God will plant the seed in them to collaborate with me. I don’t know God’s plan but whatever it is, it is good and it will happen in time. I just have to be patient. I waited five years to get this first song out so… I know it will happen when God says it will happen.

We then get the opportunity to sign with a label in Columbus where I don’t have to worry about the costs and the devil throws another wrench at me. Lily says she isn’t for sure at this point in her life if she wants to pursue music as a career. She loves to sing and worship and she has a lovely voice but she is afraid that singing as a career might take the fun out of singing. Plus she is 19 and in college and is still figuring out her life. The old me would be discouraged and quit writing and give up, just what the devil wants.

The new me says ok God, one door partially closes, I will wait for another to open. Maybe it’s one of my new musician friends, maybe it’ll be Lily at a later time if God puts it on her heart. I totally understand Lily’s thoughts and I pray that someday, whenever that day will be, she will see what an impact her voice can have on people. Until then, I will keep writing.

The devil says see, I told you you weren’t good enough. No one is even reading your stuff. You are just wasting your time. Go do something else. Fly a kite, twiddle your thumbs, whatever. Anything would be better than doing what you are doing. Put your thoughts out there and no one even reads them. Ha you are a joke.

God then has someone from Cambodia or Ireland or Cayman Islands or anywhere United States read my words. People I could never reach on my own. God has someone that is struggling with what I am struggling with read my words and tell me thanks for helping them. When I have nothing to say on my own, God says “keep going, write this.”

The devil says look at all the decay in this world. You people keep destroying fields that feed you to put up more office buildings, more houses, more parking lots. You people are greedy and I love it. More, more, more. That’s all you need. Destroy yourselves. You are all sinners. God doesn’t love you. Why would He let you go through this if He did.

God says: Will you believe in Me when your faith is tested? Will you praise Me in the storms?

The devil says why would you want to suffer for someone you can’t even see? Look at all these people all over the world that have nothing to eat, no home, no water. Look at all these people that worship your God who are persecuted, maimed, killed for what they believe in.

Then God gives me an email get your free book. I ignore it for a few days then open it and decide to order it. Then I get another email for a free book so I order it also. What have I to lose? They are free (donate if you can). All I can say is I have not suffered enough. My life is too blessed. I haven’t read through all of these books yet but from what I have read..wow. These books have opened my eyes and my heart. They tell me they have suffered so much for what they believe in, I can do better to spread the word about what I believe in. If you get the chance to get these books please do. Hearts of Fire by Voice of the Martyrs and Revolution In World Missions by K.P. Yohannan. I also get a monthly magazine from Voice of the Martyrs. They will change your life.

The devil won’t win. God will destroy him. It’s your choice to choose to let him defeat you or to choose joy in your life. I choose joy.

Don’t be one of the many that will look on in disbelief and say I didn’t know when Jesus returns and defeats the evil of this world.

You, the Room and the Devil on Your Shoulder by As It Is –

You’re Not Alone by The Mowglis –

I Choose To Be A Christian by The Erwins –

Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell –

Long Black Train by Josh Turner –

Where The Light Is by Dan Bremnes –

We Are Alive by Fireflight –

What Beautiful Things by Dustin Kensrue –

First by Lauren Daigle –

Lift Your Head Weary Sinner by Crowder –

We’ll Never Learn by Belle Histoire –

Where You’re At by Allen Stone –

Not Forgotten by Ryan Stevenson –

It’s All About Me – A Child’s Version

On July 28, 2015September 25, 2015 By roberthansen1317In children, Christian life, eyes of a child, first impression, how do you want to be remembered, music, parents, perception is reality6 Comments

It’s All About Me – (How a conversation with Kylie made me think)

Before I start I just want to add I know it is important to have me time. It’s important to be able to wind down after work, to exercise, to write, to read, whatever you do that takes care of yourself. Even Jesus went by himself to have some me time. It’s when those me times become all the time or you ignore others in your life. Sometimes I don’t want to go toss ball with Kylie when I get home but if she comes out, I play. I want her to remember the times I said yes and not the times I said no.

On my days off Kylie and I always wake each other up. We then go downstairs and I grab a water and she turns on Cake Boss. I sit with her for a minute then I go to work on my blog. The Cake Boss episodes are all reruns so I didn’t think it was a big deal if I was with Kylie or not. Little did I know.

Some nights while we are watching the shows we watch together I will get out my tablet and jot down some ideas or start writing something that pops in my head. No biggie right, we are stil right beside each other watching our shows like we always do. Little did I know.

Thursday night Kylie was eating strawberry shortcake in the living room and she spilled it on the couch. She yelled for me to come in and my first reaction was “Kylie how did this happen and why are you eating in the living room!” I didn’t think I yelled but I could tell by her face that I came across harsh. She then said we just ate strawberry shortcake in the living room last night. Point Kylie- because we did. I caught what I did and within seconds I apologized to her and said it wasn’t a big deal just get a wet rag and a dry rag and we will clean it up. I even made a joke that it was all milk, no strawberries. What did you do, save the strawberries for the next one? She laughed. End of discussion right? Wrong.

Fast forward to Sunday night. Kylie is training for her first quarter marathon at the end of August. Her bff Brinley is also doing it and training with Kylie. We are on the week of three mile run, which Kylie has done probably thirty times before. She has ran alot of 5k’s. Anyway our last few runs she hasn’t been herself and I yell out her to encourage her. Come on Kylie, what’s up with that stride, you must well be walking. C’mon Kylie, what’s going on with you, you are never this far back. Looking at it in writing I can tell it isn’t encouraging but that’s what I was trying to do.

Sunday night Brinley and I were out in front and Kim was with Kylie, because Kylie was going slow again, and Kim was even asking her what was wrong. This isn’t like you to complain when you run, your stride is off, etc… Finally Kylie broke down and started to cry.

Anyway she spilled the beans to Kim. She said how she doesn’t like me blogging in the mornings – I didn’t think it was a big deal since she was watching Cake Boss. She doesn’t like me on my tablet at night because that just used to be me and her time and now I don’t even pay attention to the shows – I do but I can see her point. She doesn’t like me yelling at her when she is running – again I thought I was encouraging. She brought up how I yelled at her for spilling the strawberry shortcake – no mention of my apology or making a joke of it. She told Kim she wanted her to talk to me about it so Kim did.

Wow, I didn’t know. In Kylie’s eyes, I was doing what I wanted to do. I was doing all about me. (even though I thought I was still spending time with her.)

Kylie and I talked and I told her if she ever feels that way that she needs to talk right there and then. Don’t let it stay in her. I then asked her why she didn’t mention the apology and joke on the strawberry shortcake. She said she didn’t remember those.

Lessons for dads : It’s the yelling the children remember, not what comes after. Take a look at your own life. Do you remember more when you were yelled at and bad things happened to you or do you remember the good things? Think before you speak, think before you act, love before you anger and hate. Quality time. Children want more of your undivided, attention all on them Time more than anything. Do you say yes or no more. When you are with your children are you constantly checking your phone -I have failed recently. Are you too busy thinking about your day at work or what is going to happen tomorrow to hear the conversation your child is talking to you about now? Time lost is time you will never get back.

Even though I try to do my best, I mess up. I’m only human.

Thanks Kylie for opening my eyes to my faults. I will pray to do better.

How do you want to be remembered in your children’s eyes? How do you want this world to remember you? I was here and I did what I wanted or I was here and I gave my life to serving others?

Remembered by BBoss –

He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli –

Emotionless by Good Charlotte –

Cat’s In The Cradle by Harry Chapin –

Walk A Little Straighter by Billy Currington –

For The Love of A Daughter by Demi Lovato –

New Man by All Things New –

Face It by NF –

Human by Christina Perri –

I Was Here by Beyonce –

I Was Here by Lady Antebellum –

Price Tag by Jessie J –

It’s All About ME

On July 27, 2015July 27, 2015 By roberthansen1317In Christian life, I am second, It's All About ME, Live for God first, music, selfish, selfless5 Comments

Isn’t it funny, sometimes not so funny, when you watch children play with each other. The way they interact, learn new things, remember that thing is their thing and no one else can play with it. The way one child wants everyone to play what they want to play and when everyone else doesn’t they start to pout.

It doesn’t get better as we grow up. I am talking to you teenagers. I want to spend time with my friends, not my family. I have to know everything that’s going on with all my friends every second of every day instead of interacting with the people around you. I want the latest gadget and gizmo no matter what it costs even though I just got the latest gadget and gizmo six months ago.

As adults, we forget how our children were when they were young and we sometimes act the same way. I don’t care what the rest of the family wants, I want to do this. I don’t care if I am not spending time with my children, I need to do this. I have to upgrade to the latest iphone even though it will cost me money I could use to pay a bill or help someone else. I don’t care if I am destroying my spouse or my kids, I want to be with someone else.

How many times have we seen athletes yelling at their coaches or teammates, even when they are winning, about get me the ball. I’m always open, I need the ball more. It’s a team sport.

Image result for players yelling at teammates

I get that way. After a rainy summer I want to go to the pool today because it is finally sunny even though the rest of the family has other stuff to do. I want to watch the latest episode of this instead of another episode of that that Kylie wants to watch. I want to work out when my wife gets home from training instead of spending time with her.

I know many times I have said but what about me! One example is my wife is known as a runner. She runs and runs and runs. Even Jeremy Camp knows her as the runner. Every time we see him and talk to him he says “I know you, you are the runner girl.” I don’t know how he can remember that with all the people he meets. Anyway, everyone always asks my wife for advice on running. I weight 100 lbs more than her, run about half as much as she does but yet I can run faster than her and beat her in races. NO ONE has ever asked ME for running advice.

How do we break this cycle? We need to quit living for ourselves. I equate being selfish with being happy. I get to do what I want so I am happy. Being happy equals being a taker. We need to start living a meaningful life. Having a life full of purpose and meaning equals being a giver.

I read an article called “There’s More To Life Than Happiness” which had some interesting points. “Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided,” the authors write.

How do the happy life and the meaningful life differ? Happiness, they found, is about feeling good. If you have money to but what you want when you want then you are happy. But if you don’t have the money then you think you are unhappy. “I never get anything good.” How many times have you bought yourself something new and were happy then after a month it sits in your closet unworn, or it’s collecting dust somewhere. Guess what? Every human and animal in this world is looking to be happy. Even the lion that kills to eat is happy until he is hungry again and can’t find food then he is unhappy.

What sets us apart from animals is not the pursuit of happiness, but the pursuit of meaning, which is unique to humans. In the words of Martin E. P. Seligman, one of the leading psychological scientists alive today, in the meaningful life “you use your highest strengths and talents to belong to and serve something you believe is larger than the self.” Having more meaning in one’s life was associated with activities like buying presents for others and taking care of kids. People whose lives have high levels of meaning often seek meaning out even when they know it will come at the expense of their own happiness. In fact, according to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, research shows that parents are less happy interacting with their children than they are exercising, eating, and watching television. Say what? And we wonder why our children are turning out the way they are. How they are turning away from the church, how they are living for themselves, how they are living to be happy. They learned it from us, the parents.

“Partly what we do as human beings is to take care of others and contribute to others. This makes life meaningful but it does not necessarily make us happy,” Baumeister said in an interview.

While happiness is an emotion felt in the here and now, it ultimately fades away, just as all emotions do. The amount of time people report feeling good or bad correlates with happiness but not at all with meaning. Meaning, on the other hand, is enduring. Having negative events happen to you, the study found, decreases your happiness but increases the amount of meaning you have in life. Another study from 2011 confirmed this, finding that people who have meaning in their lives, in the form of a clearly defined purpose, rate their satisfaction with life higher even when they were feeling bad than those who did not have a clearly defined purpose. In his book Man’s Search For Meaning Viktor Frankl wrote “If there is meaning in life at all then there must be meaning in suffering.”