I have four daughters and two grand-daughters. I have tried to get the words together about women and self-esteem and about being loved and accepted by God but I can’t seem to get out what I want to say. I did remember reading something a long time ago on Facebook and I couldn’t recall where I saw it. I looked on Boundless and Proverbs 31 but nothing. I searched and searched and just when I was about to give up, my wife had a Facebook memory come up two days ago and guess what was on it? The thing I was looking for that she had shared so now I know what the site is and where to look. Yes, it is amazing how God works. Just when I was about to give up my search, there it was. Anyway, it is called the Loop and I think every woman should read their posts just to know who they are in God.
Here it is:
You are Beautiful
My daughter, you are the one I made. You are the one I crafted. You are the one I adorn with garlands, with beauty I see, with beauty that sweeps Me off my feet.
I love you.
I love you.
And there is not guilt and cost and expectation in it. I love you because I do. You can’t alter it. You can’t change Me. You are what I have made, and I love what I have made.
Look up now, not down. I mean this:
I love you.
Like this.
How you are.
Right now.
There is nothing to chase down, my love. There is nothing to earn or improve or repair. I create. I heal what I have made. Let me lean in, place my hand upon your heart.
I was there when you believed, for the first time, you weren’t beautiful. I was there, the second time, and the next time, too. I want you to know, I was there.
I was there when my daughter, whom I crafted, whom I adore, whom I formed and designed and shape ever still, believed she was less than what she should be. Less perfect, less valued, less worthy than. . . Less than whom? Less than what, my daughter?
You are beautiful because I made you. You are exquisite because I shaped you. You are worthy because I say so. I chose you. I chose to make you.
You.
And daughter, I don’t make mistakes.
My love, hold my hand. See how I extend it to you, and I love to be with you.
My beautiful one.
My daughter.
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well” (Psalm 139:14).
A few more musician followers this week. I appreciate the non-musician followers as well, I just can’t show my appreciation by sharing your words as easily. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with the wonderful Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thanks for the follows.
Heartfelt by Read B. Verses –
Pretty Reckless by Kiana –
Getting To Know You by Lanny Swaim –
Mercy by J. Crum –
Dream Big by Hellena –
and some musicians I have been listening to that are non-followers (yet to be followers 🙂 ) Two weeks worth. Forgot to send out a second edition last week.
Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez –
Oh No Run by Bring Me The Horizon –
Roman Holiday by Halsey –
WooHoo by Never Shout Never –
You Kill Me With Silence by Duran Duran –
After You Fall by Janet Jackson –
All I Really Want by Tim Timmons –
Among the Believers by Darlene Love –
Anything At All by Motion City Soundtrack –
I Feel Good by Thomas Rhett –
Hitchhiker by OMI –
Camouflage by Selena Gomez –
Grace Beneath The Pines by Glen Hansard –
As Time Goes by JR JR –
Cracked by Pentatonix –
and our song:
I Question You by Lily Messer –
Now on i tunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-question-you-single/id1018588943
Drink water instead of sugary drinks. Aim for half your body weight in ounces.
Eat less by using smaller plates.
Move. Don’t have to kill yourself, just move. Exercise during commercial breaks instead of sitting on the couch. Be active.
Be courageous. It takes courage to admit you aren’t where you want to be and to take the steps to get to where you want to be.
Sleep. Sleep and sleep. You have to make sure you are getting the right amount of sleep for you. I know what is recommended, 7-8 hours a night, but it varies from person to person. I know I seem to function better with 5-6. Others can’t function without 9-10. The more I sleep, the more tired I feel. If I sleep 9 hours, I feel tired all day. Listen to your body. Sleep helps your brain. Sleep helps your body recover and repair your muscles from your workout. I know from my experience and my wife’s experiences and my active children’s experiences that we do not have a problem falling asleep. We are active and by the time 9:30-10:00 hits, we are ready for bed and we fall asleep quick.
What happens when you don’t get enough sleep? You are too tired to be active. Your mind says sleep instead of work out. Your body will crave unhealthy choices (sugar, energy drinks, etc.) to try to stay awake. What do you usually eat late at night while watching a movie or something? Junk food.
Anyway, here are some articles for you to check out. Have a blessed and active week.
“Step right up, come on in, only a dollar” shouted the carny. He looked right at me and my friends. “Come on in boys, this will change your life” and he winked at me. I don’t know but my gut was telling me something was wrong. My friends wanted to go in and since I didn’t want to be left out, I went in with them.
It wasn’t much at first. A conveyor belt going the opposite direction. Oooh scary right? We made a tight turn to the right and the floor started shaking. Everyone started to laugh but the feeling inside me was getting worse. It was then the lights went out. We started reaching out, touching each other to make sure we were all still there. We slowly inched forward and hit a wall, promptly piling into each other. Then the lights came on and that was when the fun began.
We were looking at ourselves, all four versions of each of us. We looked at each other like what the crap, a couple of my friends used some other choice words. In one mirror there was me, looking as normal as I am now, if you can call that normal. In the second mirror I was a hideous monster. What the heck? The third mirror I was a baseball player, uniform, glove and all. How could this be? I only was wearing the clothes I came in with. The fourth mirror showed me as an old, decrepit old man, all by myself. It was then we realized there was no exit. We did the only thing we could and started to push on the mirrors. The only one that moved was the second one. We all looked at each other and kind of shrugged and took a step through. But we weren’t all together on the other side.
There I was, the hideous monster. I pulled on my skin and clothes to get them to come off but they were me and I was them. It was then I noticed a small light in the distance. I walked toward it and saw it was a cell phone. It had a note on it. PRESS PLAY. What I saw disgusted me and I wish I didn’t have to tell you about it, but I do. It was 15 second clips of my life. There was me eight years old pushing the other kids down on the playground. There was me twelve years old stealing a cassette from the local music store. There was me sixteen years old with my girlfriend. We were in the backseat and she said she wasn’t ready but I said we had already gone too far so let’s keep going. There was me at nineteen at a college party when a bunch of guys took a passed out girl upstairs and I didn’t stop them. There was me at twenty two when I didn’t take the keys from my friend and he drove home drunk, but he didn’t make it. There was me at home instead of visiting my dad before he passed away. There was me watching a movie instead of calling a friend who was home alone, waiting for me to call. There was me ignoring my wife because of past mistakes. Was I really this monster? Is this how others see me?
Then we were all back in the same room of mirrors. We all looked at each other like what was that? No one was laughing now. We pushed on the mirrors again but only the third one opened this time.
There I was, at Wrigley Field, pitching for the Cubs. The crowd was chanting my name. Oh yeah, this is what I was made for. They all love me. I was on the mound, World Series, game seven, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two on, two strikes. One more strike and I bring a championship to Chicago. The wind up, the pitch…and I heard it. My shoulder popped. Then I heard the crack of the bat as it connected to the ball. Then I heard the silence. Just like that it was all over. The game, my career, my life. I was so angry. I was mad at God. How could He bring me to this moment and then let it all go? One pitch. It was all over. What kind of God would do that to me? I shut everyone out. I drank myself to sleep every night. I didn’t know the women’s names I would wake up to. I didn’t care. I went from 60,000 people screaming my name to the deafening silence of my own thoughts.
There we were again. All six of us in the same room of mirrors. Mark said that wasn’t so bad. “Let’s get this over with,” said Scott. We looked at each other and hesitantly stepped into the fourth mirror.
There I was. A decrepit old man. No one there but me. A lifetime of choices led me to here. A lifetime of bad choices. How did I get here? I was a good guy once. I believed in God, once upon a time. I looked in the mirror and the mirror looked back. Was this really me? Then I was gone. There in my casket, all by myself. Honestly, all by myself. No one came to say goodbye. Not one single person! Was I that unloveable and selfish? Was I really that bad of a person? I guess the truth hurts because I must’ve been for not one single person to show up.
We were all back in the room of mirrors. A couple of my friends said how cool their mirrors were. They hope their lives turn out like that. I didn’t have anything to say. This time the first mirror, the normal mirror, opened and we walked through. A couple turns and a few distorted mirrors later we were at the exit.
“Hey boys, how’d you like it? Did you like what you saw?” said the carny. “The mirrors don’t lie boys. If you didn’t like what you saw, you still have time to do something about it.” That was when he looked at me again and winked and gave me something. I was too terrified to look at it so I stuck it in my pocket and left. He turned around and started shouting , “step right up boys and girls, come on in, only a dollar and it will change your life.”
I forgot about what he gave me until I got home and undressed. It fell out of my pocket. A small bible with a note inside. Read this if you want to change your life. Read this if you didn’t like what you saw in the mirrors. It is your choice.
Monster by Skillet –
All Of Me by Meatloaf –
Ain’t Much Left Of Me by Blackberry Smoke –
These Things I Hate (Revolves Around Me) by Bullet For My Valentine –
I have heard that the phrases like do not be afraid, do not fear, etc are in the Bible 365 times. I know that this is not the case but they are in there quite often. I wrote this when I first connected with Lily about singing my songs. I needed to reread the words this weekend to help with some of my anxieties and worries. I thought I would share, hope you like. Let me know your thoughts.
Don’t know what happened this week but have a lot more musician followers than normal. I appreciate the non-musician followers as well, I just can’t show my appreciation by sharing your words as easily. I hope my sharing your music will get word out about your music. Please take time to listen/share/purchase the song I wrote with the wonderful Lily Messer and Ceylon Wise at the bottom of this page. Thank for the follows.
Since I had so many followers songs to get on here, I will post a non-followers that I have been listening to tomorrow. Have a great friday.
Drink water instead of sugary drinks. Aim for half your body weight in ounces.
Eat less by using smaller plates.
Move. Don’t have to kill yourself, just move. Exercise during commercial breaks instead of sitting on the couch.
This week I will just post a couple things I have read or watched about having the courage to start. Take a look at the links.
and
The following article I posted (since I couldn’t find link since it was forwarded to me) :
I’m just getting back from a quick workout at the gym with my son Dave.
We did some sprints to warm up. Hit the rowing machine for 5 minutes. Then jumped into some barbell exercises.
I’m glad I can do this now, because just a few years ago, I was completely out of shape and just stepping foot in a gym was a big deal. I was a decent athlete in highschool (nothing special) and always kept myself in pretty good shape over the years.
Lots of working on our farm and hauling stuff across the field kept me in good shape.
But everything kind of spiraled out of control for me about 5-6 years ago when I reached my heaviest point.
I was 55 lbs overweight with high blood pressure, E.D., low testosterone and numerous digestive problems.
I still remember feeling embarrassed when I went to sign up for a new gym membership.
I had my head down as I quietly asked the nice lady working the front-desk at Planet Fitness if I could buy a membership.
Part of me felt guilty.
Part of me felt embarrassed.
I was ashamed that I had let myself get so out of shape.
I still remember my first workout. I wanted to keep it simple, but even that turned out to be too much.
I walked in the gym that day planning on working out for 20 minutes. I ended up leaving after less than 5 minutes.
Not because I was frustrated or anything like that, but because I was so out of shape that I flat out couldn’t do any more.
I remember walking on the treadmill for 5 minutes, then I did about 7 push ups. After that I went over to the pull-up bar and just hung their like dead weight.
In fifth grade, I was a scrawny little 50 lb runt who knocked out 19 pull ups and held the school record.
Seriously.
There was a big plaque on the wall with “Jeff Reagan” embossed across it.
But that many years ago…
Now I was 50 years old, clutching the pull up bar with a death-grip, holding on for dear life.
Knocking out 1 pull up wasn’t even an option for me that day.
And I remember beating myself up over that.
But when I got home, I started to realize what I was doing to myself. And I stopped.
I realized how stupid it was to sit there and criticize myself. I decided to just accept the fact that I was out of shape, and work on improving each session at the gym.
I had to admit to myself that I was out of shape, no matter how much I wanted to deny it.
And if I just improved a little each session, within 90 days, I would be in much better shape.
And that’s what eventually happened.
Now here’s the point I want you take from this…
No matter where you’re at on your health journey, there’s no need to beat yourself up over your past failures.
Everyone has them (I certainly do).
What matters is that you accept where you’re at right now, and you start from there.
And just by improving a little bit each day, you’ll start to notice some major changes in just a few weeks.
It’s kind of similar to how compound interest works when you save money. The earlier you get the ball rolling, the more it snowballs and the better off you’ll be.
I have been struggling for the last week or so. Don’t know why, just comes out of the blue sometimes. This introvert may just be getting anxious for all the extrovert stuff coming up in the next few weeks. Volunteering at Columbus Marathon since not running it this year, me injured and wife doing NYC instead. Then going to NYC for a weekend for the marathon and to do some tourism with money I don’t have to spend. Bad time of year coming up for me with bad memories. Etc. etc.
Anyway, I listen to music and usually when I finish the songs I had on this month I will revisit older cd’s. I listen to the songs in alphabetical order by title so I don’t hear same singers, or genres, all the time. Takes me about a month to go through 500 songs or so. However, God put it in my head to start listening to next months and these four songs were what I needed to hear so I wanted to share.
Just a reminder that God is there. We just have to ask, confess, repent, and He will come find us.
Awakened by Denise Renee –
Come Find Me by Alabama – yes I know love song but I can hear it as a plea to Jesus to come find me, even as I am just blowing along and on the ledge, I need my friend, come find me (even though I should be finding Him)
Every rose has it’s thorn. What a sad way to live, but many of us live this way. We fail to see the beauty in things because we are complaining about the ugly part of it. Something good happens in our lives and we start wondering when the bad will happen.
We look at someone and because the way we look we automatically think they are not a good person. We don’t look for the beauty inside of them. We think because someone is attractive that there isn’t an ugliness inside of them. Most of us have both, beauty and ugliness. It’s what we choose to show the world that makes people see us for the rose or the thorn.
We are not all okay. We all have thorns. Yet, so many of us choose to only love the roses. Anyone can love a rose, but can you love a thorn?
I have thorns and the last few days I have been letting them get the best of me. It’s crazy how one day we can be on top of the world and the next be in the dirt but that is life. My Jesus had to wear a crown of thorns to save me from these thorns I carry around. It’s a lot easier said than done but I keep fighting my way back to the rose. I know I will get there, it just may not be today. I know God will get me through it and use these times to strengthen me in the future.
I don’t even know why I am down. Maybe it’s just that time of year. Where I start to see the ugliness and not the beauty. Maybe it’s just the weather changing. I know God is with me and sees me and loves me. I know he loves the ugly, the weak,the thorns, the least of these. He loves me when I am like this. I know I need to see the blessings in these times, for they are all around me.
It’s just whether I choose to see the roses or the thorns.
I was shivering. Strange, since when I went to bed I put an extra blanket on and set the thermostat to heat up the house at 6:00. I then realized I was also wet. I startled awake only to realized I wasn’t in my warm bed. I was in some type of… give me a minute to look around. I was in some type of maze. Confused, bewildered, baffled were some of the words that came to mind. I had to be dreaming, but I wasn’t.
I yelled out, but no one answered. I did the only thing I could and started to walk. Around this bend, turn left here, turn right there, dead end, start again. I then saw a note up ahead. I read it: If you have ever lied turn left at the next turn. Well yeah I have lied, who hasn’t? I came to the turn and went left. After about 200 yards or so I found another note. If you have ever stolen anything, turn left again. Unfortunately, I had to turn left. I kept walking for another 200 yards and yet another note. If you have ever dishonored your mother or father turn left again. Well, to be honest I am sure I have but if I did maybe it was just something little like talking back or missing curfew. Guess my answer was already made for me because the only way I could turn was left.
I know I just walked in a square but yet I was someplace new. Hanging up at the end of this walkway was a mirror. As soon as I looked into I heard the voices. You are ugly. You aren’t good enough. No one likes you. Your kids don’t even like you. Look at your body, what have you done to it. You are a disgrace. Why are you even alive?
I covered my face with my hands and ran. I ran as fast and as far as I could but I could not get the voices out of my head. I came to another intersection.
Have you ever committed adultery? Well. Not physically. Then another voice: that doesn’t matter. Have you or haven’t you? Okay, yes I have! Correct. Go right.
Have you ever murdered someone? Of course not, I said. Are you sure about that? Yes, I am positive on that one. Then the images came to me like it was yesterday. The girl I talked into sleeping with me. She was so young and innocent. I wanted her. She said no but eventually I wore her down and she gave in. I murdered a piece of her that night. I murdered a piece of the boy I used to make fun of because he wasn’t like me. Oh God! Make this stop. Good try! God isn’t here and he isn’t coming. This is my world and you are just a pawn in it. Go right.
Have you ever worshiped someone other than your so called God? Have you ever used your so called Gods name in vain? Have you ever …. GO RIGHT I SAID!
NO!! I screamed. I don’t have to listen to you. I don’t have to go where you want me to. I can break this. I can walk away. You are a liar.
No, you can’t. Remember you are a nobody. No one likes you, except me. You are what I need to change this world. YOU can follow me, YOU can rule the world with me. YOU can turn stones into bread. YOU can jump off a building and angels will catch you. I can make you into the most powerful person in this world. TURN RIGHT!!
No, that’s where you are wrong. I don’t want to be the most powerful person in the world. I don’t need to be liked by everyone because I know God loves me. I don’t need your lies. I just need to follow the truth. With that last word I sprinted as fast as I could, to the left, and ran and ran for what seemed like days. I didn’t realize that the maze was disappearing as I ran. I was breaking free from the chains that bind me. By the time I stopped it was all gone.
I fell to the ground. Exhausted. Sweating. Breathing hard. I didn’t hear the footsteps come up beside me. Maybe there wasn’t any. I heard his voice. The one I have heard many times throughout my life but ignored. I felt him kneel beside me. I felt his hand on mine. I heard him say well done. I heard him say I love you. I heard him say I want you. I heard him say you belong with me.
He picked me up and walked me back home. He said trust in me. Have faith in me. Love me. And just like that he was gone. But was he really?
My God, My Music, My Life 