We rejoiced in another battle won. We have fought many over the last few months but this one was not only of joy but sorrow. We lost many good men today, and I take the blame. I am their leader and I did not lead well today. Something was wrong with me.
Looking back on my lifetime, I have fought many battles and I have never, not ever, not even once been nicked, scratched, cut or anything. I have walked away from all those battles unscathed. I have had men die, but they were far and few between. I have fought battles alone and never lost. The enemy could not touch me.
Some say God must have His hand on me. Some say that I am extremely lucky. I don’t believe in luck.
I have walked into cities that were destroyed by the black plague and I did not get sick. I have walked into small villages that were so decrepit that stray dogs would not even live there. In fact, I have never been sick a day in my life. Not a cough, not a fever, not even a single sniffle.
That all changed three days ago.
A few of my men and I were relaxing and drinking a few at the local bar. We parted ways and I started to go down an alley I had walked down hundreds of times. Immediately, the hairs on my arms and neck stood up. Something didn’t feel right. I drew my sword, prepared for battle. Two demons jumped from the shadows. I easily disposed of the first one. As I faced off against the second one, a thought came into my head. One that I never had before.
You can not win this one.
It came and was gone just as fast but it stopped me in my tracks. And in that second of delay, the demon swung his arm. I ducked but his long fingernails grazed my arm. I came back at it with an uppercut and then my sword sliced through his neck. His headless body fell at my feet and I was victorious again.
It was then I noticed I had been cut. My arm was bleeding. For the first time in my life, I felt pain.
I fell asleep that night and woke in a cold sweat. Nightmares came to me and I could not escape them. I could not fall back asleep. My heart was beating out of my chest and my head was on fire. I tried to get out of bed but my legs would not cooperate. I fell to the floor. I stayed there until the morning light.
Morning came and it was like nothing had happened. I picked myself up off the floor. My heart was beating normal, the fever gone. My strength was back. I wondered if it had all been a nightmare. My imagination was running wild.
It was Wednesday. Drill day. Every Wednesday when we were not in battle, my men and I had drill day. We went through the basic fundamentals of battle. Defense, offense, blocks, attacks, etc. We also did obstacle runs and uphill runs to make us stronger, to have more endurance than our enemy. I ran circles around my men. No one could ever keep up. But today, I had nothing. Halfway through I dropped to my knees, out of breath. Out of energy. What the heck? My men teased me until they saw my face. I was pale as a ghost. I fell on my back and grabbed my cut arm. It felt like it was on fire. My heart was racing. My men picked me up and we walked back to town. What was going on?
Then I heard the voice again, you can not win this one.
You don’t know who I am, I conquer everything and everyone, I replied to no one.
The next day we were attacked like we had never been attacked. So many demons. The battle lasted for two days and I made many mistakes. I could not think straight. I could not lead my men, I had no strength to do so. I should’ve put my second in command to the front, to lead, but I was too proud. I kept telling myself I can get through this like I have so many other battles. But this wasn’t like any other battle. We won but we lost a lot of men. A lot of good men and it’s all on me.
The fevers kept coming, my head was on fire. My heart beat irregularly. I couldn’t catch my breath if I walked more than a minute. Yet, I was too stubborn to see the sorceress or the doctor. Only weak people go to them. But yet, I could not shake what was happening to me.
You can not win this one.
I was getting sick of this voice. But I was getting more worried about the shape I was in. My people needed me, my town needed me. I had to give up and seek help. I could not do this on my own. I went to the doctor and all their fancy machines, medicine, and spells. I listened closely, the rest of my life depended on what they told me I had to do.
I am slowly getting better, but I have let others lead my men to battle. I have taken a step back so I can take a few steps forward. It is a long road to recovery, but the doctors say I will make it.
I have come to realize that I am only a mortal man. A man who knows I can only be immortal when I pass this from this life to meet my maker.
As I was writing part of this, I was listening to the new Building 429 cd and this song came on. Funny how God works.
I walked through this town I love so much and couldn’t believe my eyes. Everywhere I looked the city was in ruins. Every corner had something else wrong. Every block I walked all I saw was confusion. I went into my favorite store and had to take a step back. Something wasn’t right.
The buildings were still there. The architecture as beautiful as ever. It was the people. They were all walking around like robots. No one smiled. They all had the same blank stare. What happened to them? It’s like they were all….lost.
I smiled at a child. She smiled back. The mom looked at me like I was trying to kidnap her child. I smiled at her also but only received a glare in return.
I pulled out my phone to see if I missed some news on what is going on. I looked on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but nothing. All I saw were pictures of people smiling. Posts about how great their lives were. Tweets about how happy they are. I looked up over my phone and didn’t see that.
I decided to reach out to the 87,654 friends/followers I have on social media. No one responded. I was getting concerned so I decided to text the 70 people in my contact list that I never call and talk to. Again, no one responded.
I decided to go get a hamburger and some fries and try to figure out what is happening. After I ate, I didn’t feel so well. Come to find out the hamburger I ate was laced with steroids and synthetic hormones that has caused hormonal cancer rates to rise. Then I found out this is banned in Europe, Japan, Australia and China but yet we serve it in my town.
I then decided to get something to drink. I couldn’t decide between Coke, Pepsi or Gatorade. I looked on the label and noticed all of them contained brominated vegetable oil. From my science days I knew bromine was used as a flame retardant. This builds up in our bodies and can cause nerve damage, memory loss, and other issues. This has also been banned in over 100 countries, including Europe and Japan but here it is in my town. I then found out that bromine is used in some of the breads I eat.
I see young children running around the streets like they don’t have a care. I see them getting what they want, doing what they want, taking what they want. Weren’t they taught to earn what they get? Weren’t they taught that sometimes waiting for something is better than getting it instantly? Where are the parents?
I stood on the corner and yelled as loud as I could “God, help me!” I knew God was here somewhere but I could not find Him. The corner across from me had people yelling “God does not exist. He is not here and never has been. There is no God.” I yelled right back. “My God is here. He does exists. He has always been here.” Next thing I know I am being told I can’t talk about God here. I protested and asked why can they say there is no God but I can’t say there is. I was told because they have the right of religious freedom.
It was time for me to take a walk. Try to clear my head. What was happening here?
God, are you there? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why is my town turning into this? Why are people hurting inside but pretend they are okay? Why are people doing wrong and don’t even act like it bothers them? Why, God, are you letting this happen?
God, where are you?
I ran and ran as far as I could. When I stopped I saw the most amazing bright light. I had never seen anything like it. A breeze picked up and I heard, “where are you?” I looked around but didn’t see anyone. Then I heard it again, “where are you?”
Then that voice said “I have searched for you. I have called out to you. I have rescued you from the depths of sin many times. I have forgiven you. Why do you hide in shame from me? Why do you run from me? Why do you only question me in the worst times of your life? Why do you not think of me in the best times? What is this you have done? Why are you here in this place? Who told you I wasn’t here? Who told you I didn’t love you?”
Then the bright light disappeared and was replaced with a mirror. I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection. I then only had one question to ask myself.
This didn’t turn out like I wanted but you can get the drift.
Ghosts and goblins don’t scare me.
Werewolves? Nah.
Vampires don’t either.
What about bears and lions you ask? Not in the least. Most of the time if they attack they are only protecting their territory or their young. Now I must say I have never been in front of a ten foot tall, mad mama bear but sitting here in the comfort of my home I am not afraid.
What about snakes? I will admit they get my heart going but not really afraid of them. Again, I have never come face to face with a black mamba or a king cobra but, for now, I can say I am not afraid.
Spiders? Not at all.
Most animals are the same. They wake up, they search for food and water, they sleep. Add breeding when it’s that time.
Monsters don’t scare me either. I mean if you can’t outrun Frankenstein or the Blob then shame on you. Yes, I know there are faster monsters out there but I am not scared.
You want to know what really scares me?
People.
People scare me more than anything else in this world.
They are unpredictable.
They can look you in the eye and lie to you.
They can say they will never let you down and two seconds later they let you down.
They can be your best friend one minute and your worst enemy the next.
They can take you for granted.
They can say they will love you til death parts you and then leave for someone else six months later.
They can do unimaginable things when they feel desperate. Back then into a corner and they can be worse than a king cobra.
They can hate you for no other reason than the way you look.
Yes people scare me more than ghosts and goblins. Yes they scare me more than any other thing in this world. But I have seen some hope.
I have seen people jump in front of a bullet to save a total stranger.
I have seen people spend hours in a hospital room holding a loved ones hand.
I have seen people give so much of their time to help the least of them.
People scare me. But I have hope. I have a dream that people will love more than they hate. That they will stand by their word. That when they commit they understand what that truly means.
People can be more unpredictable than any animal I know. But, unlike animals they can also do more good than they can imagine.
I have had enough. I could not take It anymore. I had tried and tried but no one would go with me. If no one will go with me, I will do it alone.
I don’t see things any differently than anyone else. They all see the world is falling apart. The difference is I couldn’t sit still and watch it get worse. I couldn’t stay quiet and let the evil keep talking.
You know what they say, there is no God, he isnt here, he doesnt care. If there was a God then why….If there was a God then where was he when….
Well, didn’t we ask him to leave? We took him out of schools, court, any kind of gathering. We let the minority rule. If one person doesn’t like it then no one can enjoy it. It’s no wonder suicides have increased, opioid epidemic, mass shootings, over the counter meds for anxiety, divorce.
Nothing is sacred anymore.
I left to face the demons on my own. It wasn’t long before they had gathered to defeat me.
I drew my sword and drew a line in the sand.
I said, “If you are not a believer, you can not cross this line.”
The demons smiled at me as they approached the line. “My dearest friend, do you not know, even we demons believe.”
The demons crossed the line and I took a step back. The demons drooled and laughed. “So, friend , you do fear us.”
To their surprise, I then took a step forward with a smile on my face.
“I am not your friend.”
I knew what they did not. The demons hesitated for a second but that’s all I needed.
I drew my sword but it was only for a diversion. The demons attacked.
The demons were so consumed with me that they didn’t notice the warrior angels that had surrounded them.
Walk On Water by 30 Seconds To Mars-
What It Comes Down To Me Is Me by Mark Bishop-
Fight Forever by Anthem Lights –
Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin –
Even though I am no Edgar Allan Poe this is the scariest yet ( but don’t worry, it has a happy ending.) We all wear masks! This mask story is just one of many I could tell. It is a true story and it could happen to you. Not that the other stories weren’t true- that’s up for you to decide. Reader beware!
You wake up each morning
Ignore all the warnings
With a smile on your face
Our love was being replaced
Breakfast made and the kids are dressed
Don’t even know their lives are about to be a mess
Out the door they go to school
You let the devil make you a fool
I come home from work
But you’ve been digging in dirt
You show me that beautiful smile
Right now, you are just in denial
You wear a mask of past shames
Yet, you continue to play games
You say you aren’t the one to blame
The mask of your past caused this pain
You where the mask of lies and deceive
Your family is the one you leave
You’re wearing a mask
Did you think this would last?
But you can’t hide it well
Did you think I couldn’t tell?
Oh love, what have you done?
Was it all just for fun?
You’re tearing our world apart
You’re breaking our kids hearts
Fast forward through the hurt and lies
Fast forward through the tears we cried
Fast forward through the pain
What did you think you had to gain?
I gave up and God stepped in
“Now let me take all this sin, ”
He whispered to me “it’s not about you,
I want you to stay until I am through”
He walked us through the dirt and mud
Our love went from ashes to a bud
You removed the mask you wore so long
Now you are back with God where you belong
Through all His redeeming grace
Our marriage found a new starting place
So my friends what can I say?
You have to pray to God each day
What can get you through the worst?
In your marriage, God must come first
Don’t fall for the tricks of the evil one
Don’t let your marriage come undone
His words are smooth but they are not true Don’t let the devil come between God and you
Be careful of the seeds you sow
Guard your heart with the truth you know
Be careful of the mask you wear
Let Jesus carry the cross you bear
Remember when you first fell in love Love each other, look to God above
Don’t let the devil come and destroy
Don’t fall for his games, his ploys
Even though you once believed he who lied
Because of God, our marriage survived
The devil tried but he isn’t winning With God our end became a new beginning
This story is scary because it is true
I will pray it doesn’t happen to you
But if it does, it doesn’t have to be the end of your story
Let God use your struggles and pain for His glory
If I Told You by Jason Walker – The perfect song for this post. Please listen.
Masqerade by Jonathan Thulin –
Change This Heart by Sidewalk Prophets –
You Are Loved by Stars Go Dim –
Behind The Mask by Eric Clapton –
Something More by Secondhand Serenade –
You Don’t Know How Beautiful You Are by Jon Foreman –
My God, My Music, My Life 