I walked the land for days. I was told if I could find the castle I would find the Kingdom. Not many I came across had ever heard of the castle, let alone know how to find it. That did not deter me from searching. I heard it calling.
I continued my journey. Desperately looking for anyone who could tell me how to get to the castle. I entered a forest and saw the child. He was looking at me and had a smile on his face.
I asked the child if he knew where the castle was. He looked at me quizzicality and asked, “Where have you looked?”
I started to answer but he continued, “you look but you do not see. The thing you search for is right in front of you.”
This child did not know anything about a castle. “If it is right in front of me then why am I still searching?”
He again said, “because you look but do not see.” He then scurried off into the forest.
I scratched my head, perplexed at that conversation but continued my journey. It had been several days when I came upon another child.
“Hello, can you tell me how to get to the castle?” I asked.
“Where have you searched?” asked the child.
“I have been on so many roads, so many trails, so many paths that I have lost count,” I answered.
“Have any of those roads brought you closer to the castle?”
I thought, what kind of question is that? Isn’t it obvious the answer is no since I am asking you where it is? “I do not believe so. I have not found many people who have even heard of it, let alone know where it is.” What is wrong with the children in this kingdom? I silently thought.
“Many have been on this journey you are on. Some have succeeded in finding the castle. Some have never been on the right path. Others have quit searching when they were only steps away.”
“Why would they quit searching when they were steps away? Couldn’t they see it?” I asked.
“The evil one put scales over their eyes. He does not want anyone finding the castle and he will do whatever it takes to make you turn away and quit searching.”
With that, he left me with only more questions than answers. Who was this evil one? Why would anyone quit searching for something so grand? Why would they not want to live in the castle and the kingdom? None of this was making sense to me.
I continued on the path I was on. I was hoping that I would find someone who could lead me to the castle. It had been months since I saw the last child but I was on a journey and I was not going to stop until I found it.
I was rounding a corner when I saw a man sitting beside the road. “Where ya goin’?” he asked.
“I’m not really sure,” I responded. “I am searching for the castle in the kingdom but I have not been able to find it yet.”
“Oh, I see,” he said. “Mind if I tag along?”
“Not to be disrespectful but I prefer not. This is a journey I must take alone,” I answered.
“Why don’t you go down this way?” he said as he pointed to the left of me. “I have heard down that road will be all the money you could ever want.”
“Thanks, but I have had money and it did not bring me the peace I search for.”
“Why not go down this road?” he said as he pointed to the right. “I have heard there all the women you could ever desire down that road.”
“Thanks, but I have had my share of women and they did not fill the hole in my heart,” I replied.
“Why not turn around and go back to where you were? Surely it is a lot easier than searching for a mythical castle that you will never find.”
“You must be the evil one the child told me about. I will not listen to your serpents tongue. I will be on my way now.”
With that, I bid him farewell and was on my way again.
It seemed like another year had passed but I knew it could have only been days. I was getting frustrated. Why could I not find this castle?
I crested a hill and saw the two children again. “Hello again, will you continue to talk in riddles or will you show me the way to the castle?”
“The castle is located where you will never expect it to be. You will find it when you can cross the moat between your mind and your heart. You must understand, through faith, that what is seen was not made from the visible. You must have faith in what you do not see.”
Do what? Are these children serious? Moat, mind, heart, invisible, visible?
“You must lower the drawbridge and connect what you believe to be the truth and what you know to be the truth. When your heart and your mind are one you will find the castle. When you find the truth you will find the castle for the castle is the truth.”
“Keep searching. Walk in faith. You are on the right path.”
As perplexed as I was, I felt a peace that I had not felt before. Somehow, what they said was making sense. I knew I had not found the castle yet but I knew I was close. I knew I was heading in the right direction. One step at a time, one minute at a time, I will keep on walking.
Kingdom by David Dunn –
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 –
Have you ever met someone you thought was either half crazy or half genius? G was that person. I call her G because she reminded me of a grandma, even if she was a few years younger than me. Most would call her an old soul, I called her crazy for many years.
One time I went to visit G and, as usual, she was wearing one purple sock and one yellow sock. I have learned to accept her for who she is. She loves to garden and some of her talks were on that subject.
“Keep planting seeds. Even when all you see are weeds sprouting, don’t think for a second that seed isn’t still there. Life is like that. The weeds pop overnight but the flower takes awhile to bloom. Many people are like the weeds, grasping for the quick and easy. But when you wait for the flower and it finally blooms, man it is beautiful.”
“Weeds will choke the life out of you. Some weeds are beautiful but don’t let them fool you. A weed is still a weed. You have to get rid of them as fast as possible.”
She invited me over to have some pie and milk one day. After I took a bite she asked how did it taste. I said it was delicious. She replied: ain’t a bit of apple in it. It’s called mock apple pie. A lot of people are like that. Say they are something and turns out they aren’t like that all. Gotta watch out for mock people.
Most of the things she said I could only shake my head at and smile. Most, I have to admit, I didn’t even understand for most of my life.
“This moment contains all moments of your life. Your entire past has lead you to this moment. Your entire future is at this moment. Why would you want to be anywhere other than where you are now.”
“Hiding behind secrets and lies is like walking across a frozen lake as it melts beneath your feet. One more step and you could fall through.”
“True love requires open hands. Remember while you are looking down at your palms they are looking up to true love.”
“You can’t be a star if you are always chasing the sun.”
“It’s a cold, cold world out there. The fire in you is stronger. Don’t let anyone throw water on you.”
“You can’t live in a castle if you are always swimming in the moat.”
“You can’t soar like an eagle if your friends are all groundhogs.”
“You have two choices in life. You can live in the dark or you can find the light switch.”
“A house of cards can only stand if all four suits work together. A spade to do the hard work, a diamond to cut through the hard times, a club to knock some pride out of yourself, and a whole lot of hearts.”
“If a man pulls up to my house to pick me up for a date and beeps the horn, he’s at the wrong house.”
“To become who you are meant to be you have to get past who you thought you were.”
“We all need a friend like Winnie the Pooh.”
“If you don’t want to smell like a sewer, don’t hang out at the sewer.”
“There’s no I in yOU and mE. That’s whY we are an A.”
“The grass on the other side will turn brown also if you don’t take care of it.”
“Those scars remind you who were, not who are.”
“If you want to be a light in this cold, dark world, you can’t be afraid to light a candle.”
“If you want to go west but find yourself going east, turn around.”
“The sun is always shining above the clouds. Don’t let a few dark clouds ruin your tan.”
“If love makes you change who you are inside, then it isn’t love.”
“If you have to be fake to get someone to love you, then the love isn’t real.”
“Assuming you are going the right direction, if you keep putting one foot in front of the other you will get to where you want to go.”
“It’s okay to cry. One day those tears will water the most beautiful garden.”
“Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself.”
“If you see a stranger who needs help, help. That stranger may be you one day.”
“If you want a clean yard, don’t expect someone else to clean up all your dog doo.”
“No pain no gain is only a half truth. We all have pain but not everyone gains. If you want to gain you have to fight through the pain, you have to not quit, you have to pick yourself back up and keep on trying.”
“Hope and faith and love are the only four letter words in my vocabulary.”
“We can never say goodbye if we first never say hello.”
“The forest has a bunch of different trees but they all provide the same shade.”
One day we were having a heart to heart about where we come from. Our hometowns, our friends, our parents. People that influenced us. What we inspire to be.
I will never forget what she said. Even though I had to think about it for awhile.
“We are all roots. A complicated mess all tangled up together, covered in mud and dirt, just searching for the light. We are just waiting to burst through that ground and explode into what we were meant to become. Unfortunately, most of us can’t forget the mud and dirt we left behind. Yes, it helped make us what we are and some of us still need it to give us life. But, in order for us to live a life full, we must stay above the dirt and continue to reach for the sky. When you finally see that flower, all this dirt and mud and tangled roots will make sense.”
I heard the doors open and shut. Another person walking into church late.
Seriously?
C’mon lady, the church is half empty and you come and sit right beside me. Hello? Have you not heard of personal space?
She gave me a weak smile, and I gave her one back. Not my first thought to do but we were in church.
A few minutes later tears started to stream down her face.
Oh no God, not today. I do not want to deal with this today. I just came to worship you, not talk to someone else.
Ask her if she is okay!
No God! I told you I did not want to do this today.
Reach out for her hand!
Are you serious? I will not do that. She will probably think I am hitting on her or something. From the way she is crying that is the last thing she needs.
That is what she needs. She needs a friend. She needs you.
God, in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have any friends. I’m not exactly the kind of friend people want. I don’t have time for people in my life.
Offer her a tissue!
I don’t have one on me.
There are some in front of the church!
You want me to get up and walk to the front of the church, right in middle of the sermon?
Yes!
I exhaled softly. Maybe it was loudly.
“Excuse me, let me go get you a tissue.”
“Thank you but you don’t have to.”
If only. “Yes, I do. God is telling me to go get you a tissue.”
She looked at me weird. I could hear her thoughts. This guy is crazy, thinking God is talking to him.
I came back and gave her the tissue.
We listened to the rest of the sermon. At the end of the service I sat there, waiting for her to get up. She didn’t.
C’mon God. Seriously, I have so much to do today.
Nothing more important than my daughter!
I looked at her and could tell she had a lot on her mind. Tears started to flow again.
“Are you okay?” Duh. Of course she isn’t okay.
I reached out and touched her hand and she looked at me with such sadness.
She started to talk. Opening up more and more as the minutes past. Everyone else had left the church and it was just her and myself. Well, and God.
She talked about her mistakes and her pain. Tears would come and go. I listened and tried to lighten the mood when the opportunity arose. I tried to offer encouragement where I could. The more I listened, the more I realized she was a lot like me. I forgot about all I needed to get done and just sat there and listened.
That’s when I heard God tell me to look up. I did and that’s when I saw the light shining through the stained glass window. How had I never noticed the stained glass window before? Maybe I had and just let it slide to the back of my mind. If I had noticed it before, I do not remember it being so beautiful.
That’s when I remembered something I had read about how stained glass windows were made.
I asked the woman to look up.
“Look at the stained glass window. See how beautiful it is. It’s beautiful, just like you. Just like me. In order for it to be made, it has to be broken. All the broken pieces are put together just so by its maker. You can’t see how all the broken pieces will turn out, just like you can’t see what next year or even what tomorrow will be. Then one day, presto. You see this beautiful, completed work of art. One day you and I will be a completed work of art. We just have to keep picking up the broken pieces and putting them together until we are complete.”
It was like a light went off behind her eyes.
She thanked me and got up and ran out of the church. I never even got her name.
She came back the next Sunday and we talked more and wouldn’t you know it, we became good friends. So good, in fact, that we are now married.
Our stained glass window is not complete. God is still putting more broken pieces together but I can see the picture. I can see how all the past mistakes, all the broken pieces are making a beautiful window. It would not look how it looks without all the broken pieces of glass. One day, our window will be complete and it will be more amazing than I could ever imagine.