My Children I Never Saw

We were living in a two bedroom apartment at the time. We were starting to look at houses in Westerville but we were really just undecided on where to go.  Plus it was a large “luxury” two bedroom and the girls had their own bathroom.  We made it work.

Then Kim told me she was pregnant. We had talked about it but we weren’t exactly ready. At least I didn’t think so. I guess neither did God because we miscarried.

A short time later we were pregnant again. Again we miscarried. It hit Kim more than it did me. Both times were less than six weeks but they were lives being started in there.

All in God’s time. We found a house. We did all the moving ourselves. We packed up an apartment and a storage unit, unloaded, and had it all unpacked and set up in the house all in one day. One long day.  We could not have done that if the first two pregnancies took. And lo and behold, right after we moved in we found out Kim was pregnant with Kylie.

That’s the background and I don’t know why almost eleven years later the two miscarriages have been on my mind. Were they boys or girls? What would they look like now? What kind of personality would they have had? What would they be like now? Is Kylie a combination of those two? Will we see those two in Heaven when our time comes? What was God’s plan ? Was it all for us to be able to get a house and be able to move? Was it for me to talk about eleven years later? Maybe help someone else?

I don’t know. All I know is that for some reason they have been weighing on my heart and my mind the last few weeks.

God has a plan. Sometimes that doesn’t help to hear when you are going through a loss but you will get through it. Whatever your loss may be. Loss of a child, a parent, a friend, a pet you will get through it. The memories will be there and some days will be hard. You will have good days also. You will have days when you will have a memory and cry. You will have days where you will have a memory and smile. You will never forget. Hang in there and let God walk you through it.

Lucy by Skillet – yes I know this song is about abortion but it touches me every time I hear it. 

Who You’d Be Today by Kenny Chesney – 

Heaven By Tonight by Matt Baird – 

God’s Will by Martina Mcbride – 

When I’m Gone by Joey and Rory – 

Gone Too Soon by Daughtry – 

Home by Nicol Sponberg – 

From This One Place by Sara Groves – 

Held by Natalie Grant – 

What Is Heaven Like by Robert Rogers – 

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3 thoughts on “My Children I Never Saw

  1. God does have a plan and there are many things in my life that don’t make sense to me either, didn’t turn out the way I thought they should, and don’t seem to co-inside with God’s Will but I know His plan is more complex than I can comprehend and is about more than just me. That’s when we have to let go of our plans and trust God. Not easy but the only way to have peace.

    Liked by 1 person

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