Thank you God

She had mixed emotions as she approached the tree. She wasn’t even sure why she was here after all this time. She continued up the hill to where the tree was and sat in the shade of its branches. With her back to the tree she looked up and asked, “Why am I here?”

Yes, this was the same tree where she met him. She was okay before she met him. She had great friends that made her laugh. She did well in school and was the second best scorer on the basketball team. Her parents loved her even though her dad wasn’t around much. She was an innocent girl. She came to the tree to get a break from the summer heat.

That’s when he walked up to her. It was under this same shade tree that she let her guard down and welcomed him into her life. She immediately took a liking to him and opened up to him. She told him about all her fears, her concerns, her feeling unwanted by her dad. She knew he loved her but he was never around. Too busy working, too busy hanging with anyone but her.

That’s all he needed to hear and he knew she would be his. He was smooth talking and was easy on the eyes. She fell for him hard. It wasn’t long before she was doing things she never thought she would do until she was married. She started drinking. She started fighting with parents. She started sneaking out of the house. She missed more curfews than she can remember.

“Oh God, why am I back here?!!” she yelled.

She thought about the mess he caused of her life. Well, she knew she caused it but it was all because of him. He promised so much but fell so short. She thought back and could only shake her head and laugh. “I gave up so much for him. I was a mess. So why am I back here? Did I just want to see where it all started one more time? Was I wanting to go back to that life? Was I missing the excitement that he gave me? ”

No, that wasn’t it. She was happy where her life had taken her. She was happy with her family. She had the most amazing daughters and she couldn’t even begin to tell you how amazing her husband is. She found herself remembering the day she said yes to Jesus and no to him. She remembers the darkness that left her. She remembers the freedom she felt. It really was astounding to think that someone died for her. That someone gave His life so she can live. After all she had done, He still welcomed her home. Back to the place she was before she met him. Even when she had betrayed Him and went her own ways, He was still there waiting for her. She thought to herself, now that is an amazing story.

She thought about her journey. The good, the bad, the ugly. So why was she back here? Why did she have to come here? What was she missing in her life that she would go back to him? No, that wasn’t it. She wasn’t here to go back to him. As crazy as it sounds she thought she was here for closure. She was here to say good-bye once and for all.

“You tried to break me. You tried to turn me into your toy and it worked for awhile. But I am better off without you. I am better now that you are gone. I have Jesus and I don’t need you. You have no place in my life. I am stronger because of you and for that I thank you. I won’t fall for your tricks again though. Even when I feel you pulling me I know the pleasure isn’t worth the pain. It’s not worth the hangover the next morning. The shame and guilt. I’m past that. I am new now and I will never go back to you. There is one in my life that is stronger than you. One that is better than you. One that doesn’t lie to me. One that will hold me, will love me no matter what I have done. Good-bye to you. I am and always will be better off with you gone. Dead and gone. Like you made me for that period of my life when I fell for you. But I am alive and I am here because of Jesus. You are dead to me.”

“I am a widow to my old self, to my past sins, to him. I am a widow to the death that was inside me.”

“Thank you God for never giving up on me. Thank you God for searching for me when I was lost. Thank you for carrying me when I was too weak to walk. Thank you for holding my hand when I just needed to have you with me. Thank you for listening to me when I need to talk. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for loving me and thank you for who you are. I promise I will not go back to that life again. Thank you for the power of your love that I can walk away from him, he is truly dead to me and I have you to thank for that. You are all I need.”

With that she got up and walked back down the hill. She never looked back. She did look up and smiled.

Satisfy by Worship Mob – Long video but listen to 5:30 to the end if time is short

Surrender by Blanca –

Name by Nichole Nordeman –

Broken Hallelujah by The Afters –

Back Where I Began by Seventh Day Slumber –

Give Me Jesus by Jeremy Camp –

That Was Then, This Is Now by Josh Wilson –

Grace Wins by Matthew West –

Your Grace Finds Me by Matt Redman –

Thank You by Jesus Army –

Thank you God for another day. Thank you for sending Your son Jesus to die for us and save us. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for our sins even though we don’t deserve it. It is amazing that You would die for us knowing that we would continue to sin against You but You love us that much that You did it anyway.

Thank you for giving us Your word that You were coming, that You were here and that You will be coming back. Thank you for giving us the people that wrote Your word down for us to read and study to help guide us through this life.

Thank you for giving us life. From our first breath to our last. From conception to death. Thank you for the miracle of life. Thank you for all the miracles around us every day, from the big miraculous ones to the ones we don’t even notice.

I pray that people will come to You today. I pray that You will give them what they need. Peace, patience, perseverance, hope, healing, grace, goodness, faith, forgiveness, love, compassion, acceptance, answers, self-control, joy or anything else I pray God that You will help Your people.

Thank you for my wife Kim. Thank you for the person she is TODAY. I pray that she puts You first in her life. I pray that when she reads Your word that she understands it, relates to it, and lives her life by it. I pray that when the devil comes in her life that she will remember the lies of her past and listen for Your truth. I pray You will heal her back so she can live without pain. I pray for her salvation and that her story, our story, will bring others to Your kingdom.

Thank you for my daughters. Thank you for each of their unique personalities. I pray that each of them choose to follow You and live their lives for You. I pray that they are listening to You in the choices they make. I pray that they choose joy in You instead of happiness of this world.

Thank you for my job. Thank you for the opportunity it gives me and so many others to provide for their families and hopefully give some back to You. I pray that we get as many employees as You want us to have. I pray that we will be a good Christian company and stay in business for many years to come. I pray that we will make a profit by treating our employees, customers, and anyone else we talk to every day the way You want us to treat them.

Thank you for me and the way You have made me. Thank you for everything I have had to go through to get me where I am today, everything that makes me the person I am today. Thank you for the dead-ends, the u-turns, the wrong turns, the curves, the straights, the hills, thank You for every road I have had to travel to get to You. I pray that You my God, my Jesus, my Lord and Savior, Holy Spirit, that You take over my life. Fill me with You. Teach me how to live like You, be like You, to forgive and love like You. I pray that when You speak to me that I will listen. I pray that You lead me God and that I will follow. Give me words to speak that will bring others to You. I pray that today You will use me to change one person today. Thank you for healing my knee.

Thank you for loving me, I love You.