You should’ve known I quit fighting

When I was no longer writing

Too wrapped up in yourself

To see I needed help

I get it, I really do

Wanting people to like you

All smiles and good times

Hard to admit you aren’t fine

But I know you are just like me

Not wanting the world to see

How much you’re hurting

How bad you are searching

Trying to find something to believe in

Wishing you had one, just one friend

That could see through all the lies

That tried to find all things you tried to hide

Believe me I can see the irony

Because that could’ve been me

But l, like you, was too wrapped up in my own screen

To look up and reach out to tell you how much you mean to me

But in the end I guess you are just a little stronger

And you’ve been able to fight a little longer

But for me, well this was my last night

The darkness claimed victory over the light

And maybe I shouldn’t have smiled through the pain

And maybe I shouldn’t have hidden these thoughts in my brain

Maybe you wouldn’t have thought I was going insane

And maybe you could’ve broke me free from these chains

But a lot of maybes I guess we’ll never know

I miss who I was not so long ago

I wish you could see these tears roll down my face

But man, there’s so many things I can’t erase

And I know sorry will never be enough

I wish, I wish I felt like I was loved

But you know, it’s not like anyone will miss me

When was the last time anyone even reached out to me?

I mean, you really had to know

I was taking blow after blow

And you had to know I got up each time a little slower

And you had to see I was holding my head a little lower

You had to see I smiled a whole lot less

I mean, I was a total freaking mess

Not even Instagram could hide my sadness

And my Tik Tok’s were borderline madness

Hey, I’ve even scheduled posts three months ahead

I might even be instafamous after I’m dead

At least for a day or two

Then it’ll again be all about you

I mean my writings went from hope and faith to despair

But not one person reached out to care

A pity party this is not

Like me, it’ll be so easily forgot

Like I said, I get it, you’ve got your own likes to get

But I hope , unlike me, you can live without regrets

You know, it wouldn’t hurt to get away from the screen

Be a good friend, a real relationship, one last piece of advice from me

And I know you are busy, got your own life to live

But man, I hope God really does forgive

Don’t get me wrong , it’s not all on you

These demons I have are a wicked crew

Maybe I should’ve told you all this before tonight

But it really wasn’t until a minute ago I gave up the fight

I always felt like I’d have more time

But sometimes you are out of rhymes

I wish I never felt the things that I have felt

But I feel like I didn’t know how to ask for help

(In case anyone thinks this is a goodbye note, it is not. I am still here but these thoughts are in my head. We all know someone who is hurting but we are afraid to reach out and dig deep and make that connection. Challenge this weekend is to put your phones down, go knock on a neighbor’s door and ask them how they are doing. Buy a pizza and sit down together and talk. Who knows, you might just save a life.)

You Will Be Found by Ben Platt –

Up There Down Here by Zach Williams –

People Need People by Maddie & Tae –