This Band Wrote About My Life

Have you ever had a band or singer that every time they released a cd the songs were exactly how your life was going at that time. Oleander was that group for me.

Their first major cd was February Son in 1999. At this point in my life I was 29 years old, had been married for a year and was already seeing the signs of a divorce in our future. We had been together five years, had a four year old daughter and we married when she was three. The first five years were good. No complaints, then we got married and I don’t know what happened. We fell apart. We quit doing things together. We started going out with our friends instead of each other. I would take Kayhla to the pool and she would stay home when before she always went to the pool with us. Knowing what I know now maybe I would’ve tried harder but at the time all I thought was this isn’t working. I’m not happy and neither are you. Let’s not waste our life living like this.

Their second cd, Unwind, came out in 2001. I had been single for a couple years and was getting tired of the dating scene. It seemed like a lot of dates but no relationships. I was okay with it somewhat since I was basically a single dad because I had Kayhla most of the time. Kayhla’s mom would also call at the last minute on days she was supposed to have Kayhla and cancel so I would cancel my plans. A lot of dates didn’t like that but Kayhla always came first. Anyway, no one wanted to stick around.

As you know 9/1/1 happened and I worked with someone who I thought was pretty. It made me think of how short life is so I rushed things. We started dating but she was not my type. She smoked, nothing against tattoos but she had many and I had never dated anyone with tattoos, she had the mouth of a sailor.  Everything was totally opposite of me. Still, like a fool, I married her. Basically we dated, got engaged, married, built a house, got a divorce all in 15 months. I called off the wedding three times before we got married but she always talked me into going through with it. Then after we got married I said this wasn’t working, we should have never got married and she would talk me out of it. Finally she cheated. That was just the reason I needed to get divorced.  I was stupid. Word of advice kids : when 99 out of 100 people tell you not to marry someone, don’t marry them. I thought I could change her but I know now only God can change someone. However, I am thankful to God that I went through this because God did use it for my good. I learned so much from this experience. Little did I know how God would use this experience to help me in the future. Their third album, Joyride, came out in 2003 at the end of this disaster.

Oleander didn’t release another cd until 2013.

I married Kim in June of 2005. Yes, it was kind of quick (1.5 years) after my second divorce but I had dated some people and I’ll admit I was shallow. I dated girls for how they looked and I know not all beautiful women are beautiful on the outside and not the inside but it seemed like that was all I was dating. Kim was different. She was beautiful inside and out. From 2005 until the end of 2012 I thought we had a pretty solid marriage but that marriage was rocked at the end of 2012 and going into 2013. Kim turned ugly inside and did things I never thought she would do. God worked us through those issues and we stayed together and now our marriage is better than it has ever been. Remember how I said God would use what I went through in my second marriage to help me later. This was it. If I hadn’t gone through and learned what I did from the second marriage, Kim and I would be divorced right now. That’s how God works. He takes the bad in your life and turns it into good for His glory.

Oleander then released their fourth cd, Something Beautiful, in April 2013. Right when I was ready to give up on our marriage.

If you can take the time to listen to the songs. You will see how they related to each of those times in my life.

Do you have anyone that always comes out with a cd that matches your life? If so, I would love to hear about it.

Songs from February Son:

Why I’m Here – 

You’ll Find Out – 

How Could I – 

Never Again – 

I Walk Alone – 

Songs from Unwind

Come To Stay – 

Are You There – 

Halo – 

Benign – 

Back Home Years Ago – 

Champion – 

Songs from Joyride

Hands Off The Wheel – 

Don’t Break My Fall – 

Runaway Train – 

King of Good Intentions – 

Better Luck Next Time – 

Songs from Something Beautiful

Something Beautiful – 

Fight – 

Until It’s Over – 

Never Too Late – 

Save Me – 

Save The Best – 

You Are The One – 

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