The First Bud Of Spring- A Love Story

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It was a long, cold, dark winter. One that she didn’t think would ever end. There was snow, rain, and sleet. A couple of times there was enough ice to nearly break the branches on the trees. The little girl held on. She waited for the warmer weather, the better times, the warmth of the sun. She knew it would come, it was just a matter of time. As she waited patiently, she would say her prayers, she would thank God for protecting her and her mommy and daddy during these cold, dark, winter nights.

Finally, the day had come. The first bud of spring appeared out of the ground. The bud peeked out of her shoot and could feel the warmth surround her. She was filled with so much joy that, at first,  she didn’t notice she was the only bud sprouting. After basking in the warmth of the sunshine for a few minutes she looked around, startled that she was the only one. Where was everyone else? Was she going to be all alone? Did she come out too soon? Was colder weather coming back and she would die because of her eagerness to sprout? She was filled with fear and doubt but she stayed strong. She knew God had a plan for her. It was then that a little girl saw her and started yelling for her dad to come see the new flower. The little girl was so excited that the bud could not help but smile. Her excitement was contagious.

A little while later another bud awakened. He also took a moment to take in the warmth around him. He then looked to see if the others had awakened and that was when he saw her. She was within inches of him and he knew he would love her. It didn’t take long for her to notice him either, even though it took the help of a little girl yelling “Look, daddy, now there’s two!”

They welcomed the spring with all the other buds that started to awaken. With all the other flowers around them, they knew they were meant for each other. When the rains came, he would lean towards her to cover her petals. When the strong winds came they would lean into it together, holding stems. They were inseparable. When the bees came they opened their petals for them so they could spread their seeds to other lands where there were no flowers. They also knew that the bees relied on their pollen to take back to their hives for food. It was a beneficial relationship.  Everything was new and exciting.

Then summer came. It was a scorching summer, one like they had never seen. There was no water. Many flowers died but not our couple. They shared what they had with each other. Every little drop of moisture was shared between them. Luckily, they were also planted where they had shade for part of the day. They counted the hours down together until they were cooled by the shade. Every once in awhile the little girl would come out with a can of water and water them, helping to keep them alive. They were often too tired to open their petals wide enough for the bees to come but they did their best. They knew the only way to survive this summer was with the help of others. They prayed their prayers for rain, for cooler temperatures but it was not to be. Sometimes in life, God doesn’t answer prayers and there are reasons only He knows why. They had reached a point in their relationship that they were still together, but they didn’t talk much. Too much too worry about, too much life got in the way. When was their next rain drop, how would they make it through another day without food, why couldn’t they be like they were in the spring? Did they waste this whole season of their life? They knew better because they still shared the little water they had, they still  protected each other but the excitement was gone.

Before they knew it Autumn was here. They had made it through the difficult summer and were enjoying another season of their life. The rains came again, as well as cooler weather. When he looked at her she was still the most beautiful, most loving, most caring flower in the garden. When she looked at him he was still the bravest, strongest, most handsome flower this side of Eden. They held each other’s petals more each day, knowing that their days were winding down. They reflected on the spring and the summer. Days when their love was new and days when they didn’t know if they would make it. They thought of their seeds spread far and wide, soon to be new flowers that would spread their love and beauty around the world. It wasn’t easy, they had moments of doubt but they fought for each other, they fought for their love. They survived.

Soon the cold winds blew again. They held on for as long as they could but with each passing day, their petals would fall off. They knew it wouldn’t be long now but they held on for each struggling moment. Relying on each other to get by. Praying for just one more second. She was the first to go, as she was the first to sprout. He wasn’t far behind her.

The little girl, all bundled up from the cold,  looked at her daddy and said, “Look, daddy, the first two here are the last two to leave. I wonder if they were happy here, I wonder if they were in love.”

“Now, now,” said the daddy, “we know flowers can’t fall in love but if they could, those two would definitely have been like me and your mom. Through all the seasons and all the weather, the rain, the sun, the cold, they were standing right beside each other. Holding petals all the while.”

The little girl giggled. Through the cold, dark, winter nights she was safe as she anxiously waited for the first bud of spring to blossom again.

I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman –  

Then by Brad Paisley – 

Stand By You by Rachel Platten – 

Love Like Crazy by Lee Brice – 

The End Is Not The Answer by Three Days Grace – 

Worth Fighting For by Nine Days – 

When I Said I Do by Clint Black – 

Forever Changed by Carrie Underwood – 

Remind Me by Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood – 

Would You Go With Me by Josh Turner – 

I’ll Stand By You by The Pretenders – 

Meant To Be by JJ Heller – 

What Faith Can Do by Kutless – 

Autumn

To be clear, there is no Autumn or anyone else. I’m still figuring out how my new life will look and ready to explore that life alone for awhile. But when the time is right, I hope it comes so unexpectedly I have to catch my breath.

But I might have a little crush on Autumn Reeser.

Winter came and I was dark inside

Wasn’t living, just trying to survive

Wasn’t looking forward to Spring

There wasn’t a love song I could sing

And for once, I didn’t want the Summer heat

Then I saw you and you smiled at me

I wasn’t looking, didn’t see this coming

If I did I probably would’ve been running

I wasn’t ready for this again

Wasn’t ready for these feelings to begin

Wasn’t looking to love someone else

But you know I can’t lie to myself

These feelings I wasn’t expecting at all

Damn Autumn, I wasn’t expecting to fall

My life is now brighter than the colors of the leaves

And when I’d all but given up I now can believe

Love’s walked out the door so many times before

I was done, didn’t want it anymore

My heart was healing when I thought it was dead

Taking my time to clear out my head

Tired of being hurt and given up on love

Wasn’t even something I was thinking of

Then I saw you and you smiled at me

I caught my breath as my heart skipped a beat

These feelings I wasn’t expecting at all

Damn Autumn, I wasn’t expecting to fall

Back To The Starting Line

The Cheesecake Factory, our first date. I remember it like it was yesterday, what you wore, most of what we talked about it, your laugh, your smile, your innocence.

You asked if you could order a Bud Light with your salad. I smiled and thought it was the cutest thing I’d ever heard. I ordered the Louisiana Chicken Pasta with a Mich Ultra. I was never a fan of Bud Light.

We’ve only been back once in the last nineteen years since then. We were going through our first rough patch and I thought it would help to remember.

It didn’t go well.

But we survived, we healed.

At least I felt as if we did.

Now, I am sitting across from you for the third time at this restaurant. If my memory serves me well, this may be the exact table we sat at. If it’s not, it’s pretty close.

I brought us back here, back to the starting line, to see if we can get a new start. Remember why, how, when we fell in love.

I’m not ready to cross the finish line yet.

But here we are.

You order an Angry Orchard , without asking. You started drinking cider years ago when you went gluten free. I still order the Louisiana Chicken Pasta. I know, so many choices but I like what I like. But I order an IPA.

I guess we all change in our own ways.

We both kind of half smile at each other. It feels like we both are afraid to speak first.

How did we get here?

Slowly the words come but the conversation doesn’t flow like it did all those years ago. Every word seems like a struggle. Both of us are afraid to say the wrong thing so we don’t say much at all.

I try to say something funny. But you don’t laugh. Man, how I miss the sound of your laugh. Right now, it would light up my world just to see you smile. But you don’t.

I reach across the table and touch your hand. You start to pull away but you leave it there. But there’s no feeling there. No spark. No emotion.

Damn this sucks.

We eat in silence but there are so many words in my head.

How did we get here? Can this be fixed? What did I do? What did I not do? Is it worth fixing? Why can’t we talk like we used to? Why’s it so hard to tear down these walls we built? Why can’t we get back to where we were all those years ago, in this same restaurant, when we fell in love? Love, what is it, does it even exist? What happened to that light in your eyes? When did you know it was over? When did I quit trying? How did we lose it all? Why can’t we find something to connect us again?

I can’t turn my mind off. And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I think too much instead of just being me, letting it flow.

Maybe it’s as simple as you don’t love me anymore.

Maybe that’s all there is too understand.

We finish our meals and both look at each other , another half smile.

And I know. In my heart I know.

Back here at the starting line, we’ve crossed the finish line.

Say Something by A Great Big World –

Over For You by Morgan Evans –

Leave Me Again by Kelsea Ballerini –

Hard Season by Matthew West-

Just Say I’m Sorry by Pink/Chris Stapleton-

So Small

I got this scar under my chin

Riding down Devil’s Hill on my Schwinn

Hands in the air, flying like the wind

Don’t remember how I ended up on the ground

It was always two weeks before Christmas Eve

When we’d go buy that eleven foot tree

Some things I thought I’d always believe

But I’m back in my hometown and I’m looking around

And I’m kinda confused

Cause everything looks so small

Devil’s Hill isn’t quite that big

And that tree couldn’t have been that tall

When our ceiling is only eight feet

My bedroom always felt big enough

My mom would yell down the hall

Money was tight but we had lots of love

But now it all looks so small

My friends would play ball in the yard

Now I’m out here under the stars

Wondering where they all are

And how did we ever play out here

When a blanket saved you from the monsters outside

When we were young and thought we’d never die

When my parents were bigger than life

And now I wipe away a tear

And I’m kinda confused

Cause everything looks so small

And we visit my dads grave

And my mom doesn’t stand as tall

And she isn’t as strong as she used to be

This house was always big enough

And mom’s voice doesn’t quite carry down the hall

Money’s no longer a problem but man, where is the love ?

And I hold my mom’s hand wondering how it all got so small

And I wonder if I would’ve stayed

Would time still have taken it all away?

Maybe I’ll see it all again through my children’s eyes

I look away before they see me cry as I start to realize

One day they will ask how did it all get so small

This ocean we fished in is only a lake

And did we really play ball in this yard?

And they realize not all monsters are fake

When a hundred channels wasn’t enough

And when their dad seemed so tall

And I hope they know they were loved

When they wonder how it all got so small

And remember when their dad was strong and tall

Unconditional Love

You watch me grab my keys and put on my coat

And you know it’s off to work I go

You walk me to the door

Silently saying I love you more

When I come home and the garage door goes up

You’re always there to greet me with nothing but love

And no matter what we went through that day

I know you will always be here to stay

I don’t know if I can love you like you love me

Because I don’t know if I can love that unconditionally

You’re always there when I want to talk

You never say no when I want to take a walk

You’re the best listener, never judging me

You’re my shotgun rider in the passenger seat

You kiss my tears when I’m sad

You snuggle beside me when I’m mad

You’re laying here beside me in my bed

I talk but will you remember the words I said

I wonder if you’ll remember that it’s nothing you did

When you’re looking around the house like I hid

And when I’m nowhere to be found

You’ll never give up, always looking around

I wonder if she knows how much she’s changed your life too

When you stare out the window waiting for me to come home to you

Break Free Elephant

(note, I took this idea from The Parable of The Elephant and turned it into what I know)

I have a story to tell about a young elephant

Who was born perfect, she was heaven-sent

And as she grew she felt as if her life was excellent

But being tied by a rope was the only life she knew

So she thought it was all normal as she grew

And she didn’t know there was a love that was true

And time went by and through no fault of her own

She wanted love but felt as if love was never shown

She wanted to be seen but felt as if she wasn’t known

So she broke free and was on her own until she met some guys

They sweet talked her and she believed all their lies

They tied a rope around her leg and she didn’t question why

It was what she knew and they told her how much she was loved

She was beautiful and this and that and such and such

And she felt loved and wanted when she was being touched

At times, thoughts of escape would cross her mind

But she dismissed them because these guys were so kind

But she was blind to this rope that binds

Then one day a really nice man said hello

And a true love, he really did show

And he asked elephant, I really want to know

You are so big and so strong, why do you not flee?

Why do you let this rope keep you from being free?

The elephant said this is the life I’ve lived and it’s how it’ll always be

The man said I don’t believe you feel as if that’s true

Because you must really know if they truly loved you

They wouldn’t keep you tied up as you grew

I know you don’t try to escape because you’ve always lived this way

And I want you to know these chains that hold you in place you can break

Love yourself and forgive yourself, you are precious, not a mistake

Don’t continue to give power to those that never loved you and that were negligent

When the wrong kind of love and affection was given during your years of development

So please listen to me, from someone who unconditionally loves you, elephant

Look deep inside your mind and your heart

It’s time, elephant, for a fresh start

This life you’ve lived you must depart

You don’t want to live this way any longer, this we both know

So I’m telling you this elephant to give you hope

Don’t let your life be defined, please do not be confined by this rope

Do not be ambivalent, you were meant to rise above your environment

Because you are elegant, intelligent, and most magnificent

You are worthy, you are enough and you are loved elephant

Love Not Hate- Christmas Eve

cardinals, goldfinch, bluebird, nuthatch, chickadee:
art credit: James Hautman

History of the birds:

Love, Not Hate: Part 1

Love, Not Hate: Part Two

Love, Not Hate: Christmas Eve

Love, Not Hate: A New Chapter

Love, Not Hate: A New World

Love, Not Hate: The Division

Love, Not Hate: The Reconciliation

Love, Not Hate: Tragedy At Mandalay Bay

Love, Not Hate: Continue To Love

Love Not Hate: Love On Trial

Love Not Hate- Trick or Treat, Halloween Night

Love Not Hate- Teach A Human Day

Love Not Hate – Tragedy in Texas

It was Christmas Eve all through the land

All the birds stared in amazement at the Christmas tree so grand

The little birds could barely contain their excitement

The older birds looked on, filled with contentment

The eagle remembered how far they have come

He remembered all the work ALL the birds had done

Which made this day an even more special day

He took his place and said: “Birds, I have something to say”

Want to see one--not at a zoo--SOON!:
photo credit: Paula Krugerud Photography

“I’ll keep it short since tonight the little ones can’t be up late.”

“It has been a long time since we chose to love instead of hate.”

“It was a lot of work to repair our broken relationships.”

“As you all know, it hasn’t always gone to script.”

“We have learned from our mistakes, our experiences.”

“We have learned to work through our differences.”

“We have returned this land to the way it was created.”

“For that reason alone, tonight we ALL should be celebrated!”

“We are gathered here today because of the one who was born.”

“Who also died for us, tattered and torn.”

“As some of us birds are getting older,

We know we can’t carry this land on our shoulders.”

“We must teach the next generation

That love is the only way to rule this nation!”

All the birds started to sing

A beautiful sound that caused a gathering

All the animals from the forest came

The deer, the rabbit, the skunk and others you know by name

They gathered around the Christmas tree

They held hands and all sung with glee

The sound reached near and far

Then humans arrived, by foot and by car

They couldn’t believe their eyes

It was then they started to realize

Everything they thought they knew had to be ruled out

Because right there was a hawk singing with a field mouse

There was a bear beside a deer

There was a sheep standing by a wolf  with no fear

There was a fox right beside a hare

All these beautiful birds were there

They could hardly believe their ears

When the animals said: “There is nothing here to fear!”

“Yes, at one time we were all enemies!”

“We decided to let love rule our hearts until our eyes could see!”

Then the humans held each other’s hands

All the different people across the land

Blacks and whites, Muslim and Christian

All races, all people, could see the animals vision

The eagle then spoke once again:

“One last thing to say my friends.”

“To move forward you must move on from the past!”

“You have to live as last is first and first is last.”

“Let every man, every woman, every boy, every girl

Know what it’s like to have peace in this world!”

“Let ALL our voices join together as we sing Silent Night!”

Then they sang Joy To The World  and We Wish You A Merry Christmas

I can only say it’s all true, as I was there to witness

All the birds of a different color

Helped all the people discover

Instead of fighting they should ALL join hands

Because love is the only way to rule the land

Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a love filled night 

Image result for animals around a christmas tree

Image result for bible verse on christmas

Let It Be Christmas by Alan Jackson –

Santa’s Wish (Teach The World) by The Tenors –

Better Together by Gaither Vocal Band –

Join With The Angels by Matthew West –

Rest In You Tonight by The Oak Ridge Boys –

Gather Round by Band Of Merrymakers –

The Night Before Christmas by Brandon Heath –

Wish List by 7eventh Time Down –

Silent Night by Pentatonix –

Our Last Christmas Eve (In A Place We Called Our Home)

I know it’s only made of wood and stone

But it’s the first place we called our home

It’s where we went when you became my wife

Where our girls grew up and learned about life

Where we had safety after a hard day

And it’s where we came when we lost our way

Where memories were more than the past

Where I thought our love would always last

Now there’s a for sale sign in the yard

And I never thought it would be this hard

To say goodbye to some wood and stone

And I never thought I’d feel this alone

In a place we called our home

We smile through our last Christmas Eve

And I really wish I could believe

Santa could save our love and our home

I watch you sitting there reading your book

You catch me and smile with a knowing look

Sometimes I swear you can read my mind

Wanting to give it another try, but it’s time

I see all the presents under the tree

But the only gift I want is for you to love me

That’s a miracle only God can provide

Cause we’re already living separate lives

Now there’s a for sale sign in the yard

And I never thought it would be this hard

To say goodbye to some wood and stone

And I never thought I’d feel this alone

In a place we called our home

We smile through our last Christmas Eve

And I really wish I could believe

God could save our love and our home

I wonder if these floors will still creak in a few years

I wonder if these walls will remember our laughs and tears

These windows never quite kept out the cold

There are so many stories left untold

Now there’s a for sale sign in the yard

And I never thought it would be this hard

To say goodbye to some wood and stone

And I never thought I’d feel this alone

In a place we called our home

We smile through our last Christmas Eve

And I really wish I could believe

We could save our love and our home

Wrapping Presents For Myself by Chris Isaak –

New Year’s Day by Rob Thomas –

Christmas Through The Years by Matthew West –

That Silent Night by Jim Brickman feat Kenny Rogers –

The Reindeer Revolt – The Story

Image result for reindeer

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, you know Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, but do you know Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint? Of course you don’t, because most of you have not heard of the great reindeer revolt.

It was December 17, 1938. Exactly seven days before Christmas Eve. As you would expect, the North Pole was extremely busy getting everything ready for the big night. All the elves were making the last of the toys for all the good girls and boys. Santa was checking his list, then checking it twice just to be sure no one was missed. Mrs. Claus was busy making snacks for everyone. The reindeer were finishing up the last of their training exercises.

Maybe it was because the reindeer were tired or maybe they felt they weren’t being respected enough but for whatever the reason, some of the reindeer decided they had had enough. Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint had enough and decided they were no longer going to work on Christmas Eve. “We work every Christmas Eve and we are tired of it. We want to stay home and enjoy the evening with our families. All of us should join together and tell Santa no more.”

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen all said no. “We are not going to revolt against Santa. How can you do this? Think of all the children. We work one night a year. We have 364 days to relax and take vacations and do whatever we want. We enjoy our job and traveling all over the world and seeing all the decorations and the children eagerly awaiting our visit.”

This was not the first time that Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen had seen a bad attitude from Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint. In fact, over the last six months they had seen many warning signs.  They tried talking to them, but never seemed to get anywhere. Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint had even started calling Rudolph names and would not let him play in any reindeer games.

All the reindeer argued and fought for several days. We are right and this is what we are going to do. No, you are not right, we are right and we will stand our ground. Back and forth, back and forth it went.

Finally, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen decided that this could not go on. They made a very difficult decision, one that did not come easily and one that made them very sad. These reindeer have been friends their entire lives but they no longer saw eye to eye. They told Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint that they could no longer be friends. They didn’t want Santa to think they were revolting too, just because of who they were friends with.

Santa saw what was going on and felt very sad for the reindeer. But, he too, had to make a very difficult decision. If Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint did not want to fly on Christmas Eve, then he was not going to force them. But he knew he needed eight reindeer to fly.

He held tryouts and four reindeer stood out amongst the rest. They were Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. They joined forces with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen and became the eight famous reindeer you know today. Minus Rudolph of course, he would join the team a little later.

That is why you have never heard of Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint. That is why a year later that Johnny Marks wrote Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with its famous opening lines of which you know.  You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, you know Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, and the rest is history.

That is also why you should be wise and choose your friends wisely. You will be known by the company you keep.

Image result for proverbs 13 20

Friends by Blake Shelton – 

I’ve Got Friends That Do by Tim McGraw-  

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer by –  

An Old City Bar On Christmas Eve

I didn’t care that tomorrow was Christmas Day

Just another night drinking my sorrows away

I sat in an old city bar on Christmas Eve

When a young lady walked in I had never seen

She seemed kind of shy, but had a glow unlike I had seen before

And there, holding her right hand was a little girl, maybe of four

I had nowhere to be so I ordered another beer

The bartender said, hey, no kids are allowed in here

And he said, besides, it’s almost closing time

That’s when she said, I saw your help wanted sign

The bartender, kind of frowned and asked, have you ever worked in a bar?

The young lady said no, but I’m out of options, we’re living in a car

And for once, the bartender was out of words

I could see behind her eyes was a lot of hurt

He said leave me your number and I’ll call your phone

She said, sir, I don’t have a phone, I don’t have a home

The bartender and I had grown bitter in our old age

But when she spoke those words something inside us changed

The bartender remembered how the cold winds blow

And it was predicted we were to get twelve inches of snow

So he said it’s not much but I have a small room in the back

You can spend the night there and she said they would appreciate that

And I pulled out a twenty and bought them something to eat

And then I noticed the holes in their shoes on their feet

The bartender opened the register and gave me all the cash

We both had the same thought to give the little we had

I sprinted out the door to the nearest store

And bought shoes, boots, coats and a little more

I checked out right before they closed

Then the snow started to fall on my nose

I hurried back to the bar with presents in hand

And I thought love, yes love right now is in high demand

Inside the bar, like the snow on my nose, my heart started to melt

And I started to feel something it had been a long time that I had felt

I don’t know if God had sent an angel to me that night

But somehow out of my darkness came a light

And maybe this story is about the young lady and her little girl

How all of us can help each other out, give love, all over the world

Or maybe this story is about how two strangers changed me

All I know is I was a different man after that Christmas Eve

Reach Out by Jason Crabb –

Heaven Everywhere by Francesca Battestelli –

The Christmas Shoes by NewSong –

Somebody’s Angel by Mandisa –

The Christmas Guest by Johnny Cash –