Remember the season is because of the birth of a child
It’s not the decorations or presents
Or all the parties and events
Here is an open invitation
To join in the celebration
No gifts to bring or trees to decorate
Whenever you are ready, we will wait
A genuine heart with love to give
I believe you are meant to live
Do not give up, Do not be dismayed
If you are having a string of bad days
There is a hope for a better tomorrow
One not promised without sorrow
One not promised without pain
One not promised without rain
One promised that you are never alone
One promised that you have a home
One promised that you are loved
One promised of HOPE, sealed by His blood
I can’t promise tomorrow will be better
I can promise you have a helper
Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up
Don’t give up when you’ve had enough
The night will fall and the sun will soon shine
Please, please give it some more time
Tomorrow is new
Perhaps a blessing for you
Tomorrow will soon be here
And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year
A baby boy was born in a manger
Don’t let him be a stranger
Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace
Tomorrow you will gladly embrace
I want you to know you are known
And that you aren’t alone
Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue
This is my Christmas prayer for you
Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:
Call 911.
Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!
Lots of songs but couldn’t decide to put suicide or hope or someone loves you song so put a mix of all them.
From the time she was a small sapling she knew what she was born for. She was born and raised on a Christmas tree farm. She heard stories from her family and friends about how one day she would be picked to go be inside someone’s home.
Each year she grew a little bigger but each year she kept hearing people say the same thing. “She isn’t big enough.” “Her branches are still too weak.” “Her needles are too thin.”
She would wonder the same thing each year. “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want me? ”
Another year passed and she thought for sure this would be the year. She was almost as big as all the other trees but it was the same old story for our Christmas tree. “She isn’t quite there yet.” “She’s almost full enough but not as full as we want.” “Her branches still aren’t strong enough.”
Many more years passed and she still wasn’t being picked. She was really starting to wonder what was wrong with her. She was bigger than almost all the other trees. Her branches were fuller and stronger than the other trees. Other trees that were born after her were being picked but she still wasn’t. “Why doesn’t anyone want me?” “When will my time come?”
Another year passed and she was a full ten feet taller than any other tree. She had beautiful branches but she still wasn’t being picked. Now she heard things likes she’s too big, she can’t fit in our house, we don’t have enough lights and decorations to complete her.
Our Christmas tree was so sad. No one wanted her when she was young and small and no one wanted her when she was old and tall. She was thinking she will never know what it’s like to be decorated and look so lovely.
Our Christmas tree continued to grow and by the next year she was seventy-five feet tall. She could see the entire farm. That was when she saw this big truck coming on the farm. They came right up to her. One guy got out and looked at her and said “this tree is what we have been looking for. She will look beautiful at Rockefeller Center. We will decorate her and have so many lights on her. Millions of people will see her and admire how beautiful she is!”
Moral of the story is God will use you in His time. Be faithful and trust in Him and He will use you in ways you would never believe. We just have to be patient and wait for our calling.
It’s been a rough 18 months. There was a two-three month period in that 18 months that I lost myself. For the first time in my life someone made me feel as if I wasn’t enough, that I was worthless. I walked away from most of what I believed in and gave up on the rest.
I will be the first to admit that I let anger and everything that goes with betrayal get the best of me. Even counseling did not seem to help.
Even though I felt like I knew the truth, I was still being lied to , which was causing more anxiety and hate and frustration and arguments. and taking me farther away from the man I am. I do not understand why people can not tell the truth. I would rather have a truth that hurts than a lie to make me feel better or question my own intuition. At least once the truth is out there, you can start to heal.
Then one night a couple months ago I had a dream. I can still remember every detail to this day. And when I’m having a bad thought or feel anger taking control again, the images in this dream come to my mind and I give it all away again.
I will admit after the dream, I had three really good weeks then three really bad days but ever since then, I am a different man.
Only one person gets the credit and that is Jesus.
Here is the dream I had.
I was driving along a road that was going up a hill or mountain. The road did not look familiar to me. I remember I was the only one on the road and to the left of me was a deep valley.
As I was driving in the middle of the day, the sky suddenly became like a sunset. Oranges and reds and pinks. Picture the most beautiful sunset you have ever seen and multiply that by a hundred.
Then the sky parted and a man came down out of the sky. I can only assume it was Jesus.
I stopped my car and got out. I started walking toward him.
He approached me and put his hands on my shoulders. He told me it was time to let it go. Give all the anger and disappointment and anxiety and everything that came with the betrayal to him.
Tears started coming to my eyes.
But I wasn’t letting go.
Then he repeated what he said.
Give it to me. It’s time to let it go.
Then he took his hands off my shoulders and ascended back toward the clouds.
Before he got there he turned around and reached out his hands and told me he had it all now. To keep giving it to him. It’s not my burden to bear any longer. To live the way he intended me to live. To love and not hate.
Then, probably because he knows me so well, he once again said I have it all. Let it go.
The he disappeared into the clouds and the sky turned the brightest blue I have even seen.
Then I woke up and had tears streaming down my face.
And all I can say is in the seven weeks since my three day relapse, I have been a different man.
My anxiety and hurt and anger has for the most part have gone away. And when it surfaces, it is immediately replaced with visions from my dream.
Does that mean my marriage is saved? No, not at all. But what it means is I don’t have to live with the hurt and betrayal and anger.
I can still love. I can still know that I am enough. I can still know that life is worth living. I can still know that I am okay. I can still know that I am loved.
We all have been given the ability to bless and not curse, to love and not hate, to give and not take. We only have to remember we have a helper to show us the way.
So do I believe God is real? There is no way I could ever doubt it.
My God, My Music, My Life 