The Wrong Warrior

God, I know you don’t make mistakes

But I need to say this before it’s too late

You see, this storm you’ve allowed me to be in

Well God, to be honest, it’s one I don’t think I can win

You say to be strong, courageous, do not fear

But really God, what did I do to be put here?

And God, for the record I’m not that strong

So when you picked this warrior, you picked wrong

God, right now I’m full of self doubt

How do I , God I really don’t know how

God I’m tired, really, I’m too tired to fight

I’ve lost my way, darkness has taken my sight

So God I’m asking, if you really don’t mind

Pass on me and give this battle to the next in line

God, it is my desire to glorify you

But this battle, I don’t think I can do

Maybe it’s me God, I don’t have a strong foundation

Because I really am trying to trust you in this situation

I feel like I’m struggling, my faith is wavering

My doubts, my fear is disabling

God, I’ve given you all my tears

So God, why, why am I here?

What’s that you say? This is my battle to win

Well God, I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again

God, for the record, I’m not that strong

When you picked this warrior, you picked wrong

I know you are with me

But I’m begging you please

What? I’ll be stronger on the other side

Yes I know alone I do not fight

Then I realized it was useless to argue

With the one who always told the truth

If God put me here then he must think I’m strong

And I’ll believe this warrior was not picked wrong

Icing On A Stale Cake

I woke up Saturday morning with a bunch of clanging coming from the kitchen.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to quite a surprise.

“Umm, good morning hon, whatcha’ making?” I asked my wife.

“A cake,” she replied.

I looked at her kind of puzzled. “You don’t like cake. In all the years we have been together, you’ve never eaten a piece of cake.”

She looked at me and smiled. “But you know I love the icing.”

So I watched her make the cake, bake the cake, and I watched her let it cool. Then I watched her meticulously layer the icing just the way she wanted it.

She then looked at me as seriously as she ever had and said, “this is my cake. Do not touch it.”

Over the next week I watched her slowly but surely scrape the icing off the cake and eat it. Two scrapes on Saturday, three on Sunday, one on Monday etc. until the icing was all gone, all without touching one single crumb of the cake.

And then on Saturday of the next week I watched her put more icing on that same cake.

I looked at her puzzled and asked, “Isn’t that cake stale now?”

“It’s not about the cake. It’s the icing. “ she said.

And so we went through another week with her eating only the icing.

The next Saturday , I watched her as she started putting more icing on the two week old cake.

“Hon, that cake has to be hard as a rock and maybe a little moldy in spots. What are you doing ?”

“I like the icing,” she said, like she was stating a matter of fact.

“But babe, that’s not healthy. You can’t keep covering up the moldy, hard, stale cake by ignoring it’s not there. The icing may be good, but all you are doing is covering up something that is not good. Eventually, that mold is going to grow onto the icing. “

She then said,” If I keep covering the cake with the icing I like so well, I forget the cake is even there.“

She then looked at me for the briefest of seconds before she looked away. And in that briefest of seconds I saw something I had never seen before. She was scared, she was hurting, she was confused, she was lost, and she didn’t know what to do, except ignore the problem and keep on doing her best to breathe in her next breath. Hoping she could survive this. Hoping it would go away if she ignored it long enough.

I looked at her with tears in my eyes because I knew this wasn’t about the cake or the icing. This was about something deeper. This was about something inside of her. Something she couldn’t face. Something that was tearing her world apart but she felt as long as she had the icing, she could keep living.

I gently and softly grabbed her hands, put the icing knife down and told her it’s time to stop icing the cake. It’s time we started tearing the cake apart and finding out what exactly is inside it. It’s time to cut into this cake and piece by piece, start throwing it away.

It’s time to open those boxes of the past. It’s time for that darkness to see the light.

It’s time for you to heal.

Look What You’ve Done by Tasha Layton-

In Jesus Name ( God Of Possible) by Katy Nichole –

My Jesus by Anne Wilson-

Anything But Easy by Casting Crowns –

Loved Like This by We Are Messengers –

The Storm

The thunder startled me awake early Saturday morning. I looked outside at the storm. The rain was coming down so hard I couldn’t see the neighbors house. Lightning and lightning followed by thunder and more thunder. I thought I’ll just crawl back under the blankets because there was no way I was going out there.

I watched the storm for a few more minutes when I heard the voice.

Go out into the storm.

Of course my answer was no. I am not going out there if you paid me to go out there. I am nice and warm and dry right where I am.

Go out into the storm.

No I said, not even sure why I replied.

Go out into the storm.

Why? I am just fine right here where I am.

I need you to go out into the storm.

For no sane reason I could possibly think of, I found myself at my front door putting on my raincoat and rain boots. If for some unknown reason I’m going out into this storm, I was going to protect myself the best I could. I grabbed my umbrella and opened the door.

I hadn’t gone more than fifteen feet when the wind ripped my umbrella apart. I thought this is one of the dumbest things I have ever done and started to turn around to go back inside.

Don’t turn around. Keep walking.

No, I replied. I am in control here and I do not want to be in this storm.

Don’t turn around. Keep walking.

Why? I do not want to be in this storm.

I need you to not turn around. Keep walking.

For another unknown reason, I walked.

Take off the raincoat and rain boots.

Seriously, no, no, and more no. If I am going to be in this storm, I am going to protect myself.

Take off the raincoat and rain boots.

Why? Why do I keep asking why? I should just go back inside. How’s that? I will take them off when I am inside nice and dry.

I need you to take off the raincoat and rain boots. I need you to be vulnerable. I need you to take off all those layers you have been building to protect the hurt and pain you have.

What are you talking about? I started thinking I am going crazy and I definitely knew if any neighbors were looking out the window they would call the mental institution. There’s my neighbor walking outside in the bare minimum talking to himself.

You have layers and layers of lies you have been piling onto yourself. I need you to take them off.

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Quit living in the past. Forgive yourself for the hurt you have caused. Take off that layer. Love yourself because I love you. Take off that layer of self loathing. Accept yourself for I have accepted you. Take off that layer of guilt, that layer of shame. Take off that layer that you are not good enough. Take off that layer that you are the lies you have told.

No. I said. They make me who I am. What am I without all those layers? Where were you when I was putting them on. Where were you when, where were you……..

And I fell to my knees in the pouring rain and yelled and cried and let the rain come down.

I have always been here. You have chosen to stop looking for me, stop listening for my voice. I was there asking you to stop. I was there, that tiny voice , telling you this is wrong what you are doing. I was there telling you that you are more than this, you are better than this. I made you and I know you are so much more. I was there when you cried yourself to sleep giving you comfort as you wept. I was there when they told you you weren’t good enough. I was there when they left you. I was there holding your heart, holding your hand. I was there leading you toward me and I was there when you pulled your hand away. And I was there still chasing you, still begging you to come to me. I was there waiting for you.

I was there in the storm. I was there in the pain. I was there in the hurt. And I am here now, asking you to trust in me, believe in my truths, let it all go. Surrender it all and give it to me. I will make you new. Turn away from your past and your mistakes. They are not who you are. They do not define you. Come, walk with me into the now, into the tomorrow. Be who I have made you to be. Love as I have loved you, forgive as I have forgiven you, forgive yourself. Accept me as I have accepted you. You are so much more than your past mistakes, you are deserving of a future that you can not comprehend. Grab my hand and walk with me. Do you want what I have for you? The choice is yours for I have always given you free will. Choose to stay in your past and the lies you believe about yourself or choose to walk with me, walk in the light, free yourself of all that weighs you down. Surrender it all, give it to me.

I let the tears fall and I somehow slowly started to release the layers I had built. And it was in that moment when the rain was pouring down and the lightning and thunder was all around me that I realized I am more.

And I let the rain come , I let the rain wash away that pain and I stood up and I laughed at the lightning.

And then the rain stopped. The clouds parted and the brightest rainbow appeared before me and I could smile again.

In Jesus Name (God Of Possible) by Katy Nichole –

Miracles In The Dirt

Back in June 2021, I did an early Saturday morning zoom co-writing session with Miranda Filbeck.

I am excited to announce our song, Miracles In The Dirt, is now live on Spotify and YouTube.

Please take a listen and let us know what you think and feel free to share.

Here is the Spotify link and below that is the lyric video I created.

Love Not Hate- Christmas Eve

cardinals, goldfinch, bluebird, nuthatch, chickadee:
art credit: James Hautman

History of the birds:

Love, Not Hate: Part 1

Love, Not Hate: Part Two

Love, Not Hate: Christmas Eve

Love, Not Hate: A New Chapter

Love, Not Hate: A New World

Love, Not Hate: The Division

Love, Not Hate: The Reconciliation

Love, Not Hate: Tragedy At Mandalay Bay

Love, Not Hate: Continue To Love

Love Not Hate: Love On Trial

Love Not Hate- Trick or Treat, Halloween Night

Love Not Hate- Teach A Human Day

It was Christmas Eve all through the land

All the birds stared in amazement at the Christmas tree so grand

The little birds could barely contain their excitement

The older birds looked on, filled with contentment

The eagle remembered how far they have come

He remembered all the work ALL the birds have done

Which made this day an even more special day

He took his place and said: “Birds, I have something to say”

Want to see one--not at a zoo--SOON!:
photo credit: Paula Krugerud Photography

“I’ll keep it short since tonight the little ones can’t be up late.”

“It has been a long time since we chose to love instead of hate.”

“It was a lot of work to repair our broken relationships.”

“As you all know, it hasn’t always gone to script.”

“We have learned from our mistakes, our experiences.”

“We have learned to work through our differences.”

“We have returned this land to the way it was created.”

“For that reason alone, tonight we ALL should be celebrated!”

“We are gathered here today because of the one who was born.”

“Who also died for us, tattered and torn.”

“As some of us birds are getting older,

We know we can’t carry this land on our shoulders.”

“We must teach the next generation

That love is the only way to rule this nation!”

All the birds started to sing

A beautiful sound that caused a gathering

All the animals from the forest came

The deer, the rabbit, the skunk and others you know by name

They gathered around the Christmas tree

They held hands and all sung with glee

The sound reached near and far

Then humans arrived, by foot and by car

They couldn’t believe their eyes

It was then they started to realize

Everything they thought they knew had to be ruled out

Because right there was a hawk singing with a field mouse

There was a bear beside a deer

There was a sheep standing by a wolf  with no fear

There was a fox right beside a hare

All these beautiful birds were there

They could hardly believe their ears

When the animals said: “There is nothing here to fear!”

“Yes, at one time we were all enemies!”

“We decided to let love rule our hearts until our eyes could see!”

Then the humans held each other’s hands

All the different people across the land

Blacks and whites, Muslim and Christian

All races, all people, could see the animals vision

The eagle then spoke once again:

“One last thing to say my friends.”

“To move forward you must move on from the past!”

“You have to live as last is first and first is last.”

“Let every man, every woman, every boy, every girl

Know what it’s like to have peace in this world!”

“Let ALL our voices join together as we sing Silent Night!”

Then they sang Joy To The World  and We Wish You A Merry Christmas

I can only say it’s all true, as I was there to witness

All the birds of a different color

Helped all the people discover

Instead of fighting they should ALL join hands

Because love is the only way to rule the land

Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a love filled night 

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Let It Be Christmas by Alan Jackson –

Santa’s Wish (Teach The World) by The Tenors –

Better Together by Gaither Vocal Band –

Join With The Angels by Matthew West –

Rest In You Tonight by The Oak Ridge Boys –

Gather Round by Band Of Merrymakers –

The Night Before Christmas by Brandon Heath –

Wish List by 7eventh Time Down –

Silent Night by Pentatonix –

A Christmas Prayer

Image result for charlie brown i think there must be something wrong with me

A Christmas prayer

For the ones out there

Who aren’t full of happiness and  cheer

Who are depressed and worn out this time of year

This time of year can be tough

Sometimes you just want to scream ENOUGH!

Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one

Or past hurts that have been done

Everyone else seems full of glee

You’re thinking “everyone but me”

You aren’t the only one faking a smile

Remember the season is because of the birth of a child

It’s not the decorations or presents

Or all the parties and events

Here is an open invitation

To join in the celebration

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No gifts to bring or trees to decorate

Whenever you are ready, we will wait

A genuine heart with love to give

I believe you are meant to live

Do not give up, Do not be dismayed

If you are having a string of bad days

There is a hope for a better tomorrow

One not promised without sorrow

One not promised without pain

One not promised without rain

One promised that you are never alone

One promised that you have a home

One promised that you are loved

One promised of HOPE,  sealed by His blood

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I can’t promise tomorrow will be better

I can promise you have a helper

Instead of falling down it’s time to rise up

Don’t give up when you’ve had enough

The night will fall and the sun will soon shine

Please, please give it some more time

Tomorrow is new

Perhaps a blessing for you

Tomorrow will soon be here

And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be your year

A baby boy was born in a manger

Don’t let him be a stranger

Get to know hope, love, forgiveness and grace

Tomorrow you will gladly embrace

I want you to know you are known

And that you aren’t alone

Don’t give up, YOU are loved, even when you are blue

This is my Christmas prayer for you

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Talk to your doctor if you are feeling sad for long periods of time. They can refer you to a mental health specialist. If your feelings of sadness during the holidays are accompanied by suicidal thoughts, do one of the following immediately:

  • Call 911.
  • Go immediately to a hospital emergency room.
  • Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

You can improve your mood by practicing self-care during the holidays. Eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep pattern and exercise program. According to the kept Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, as little as 30-minutes of cardiovascular exercise can provide an immediate mood boost similar to the effects of an antidepressant medication. Joining a support group where you talk to people with similar experiences to yours can also help.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVE WORTH AND YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

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Lots of songs but couldn’t decide to put suicide or hope or someone loves you song so put a mix of all them.

Just Because It’s Christmas by Anne Wilson-

Why by Faith Hill – 

Why by Rascal Flatts – 

Different Kind Of Tears by Sully Erna – 

Before The Morning by Josh Wilson – 

Somebody Stand By Me by Faith Hill –

Home by Phillip Phillips- 

Pray For You by Blessid Union Of Souls – 

I Don’t Have The Answers by We Are Messengers- 

10 Years Today by Bullet For My Valentine- 

Hold On by Good Charlotte- 

Hold On by Wilson Phillips- 

The Last Night by Skillet – 

The Reason by Lacey Sturm- 

Take The Bullets Away by We As Human- 

The Right Time by Disciple – 

Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.- 

Goodbye (I’m Sorry) by Jamestown Story – 

Just Say Jesus by 7eventh Time Down – 

Pray For Me by Kirk Franklin –

Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan – 

My Story by Big Daddy Weave – 

Hope Was Born This Night by Sidewalk Prophets – 

The Reindeer Revolt – The Story

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You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, you know Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, but do you know Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint? Of course you don’t, because most of you have not heard of the great reindeer revolt.

It was December 17, 1938. Exactly seven days before Christmas Eve. As you would expect, the North Pole was extremely busy getting everything ready for the big night. All the elves were making the last of the toys for all the good girls and boys. Santa was checking his list, then checking it twice just to be sure no one was missed. Mrs. Claus was busy making snacks for everyone. The reindeer were finishing up the last of their training exercises.

Maybe it was because the reindeer were tired or maybe they felt they weren’t being respected enough but for whatever the reason, some of the reindeer decided they had had enough. Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint had enough and decided they were no longer going to work on Christmas Eve. “We work every Christmas Eve and we are tired of it. We want to stay home and enjoy the evening with our families. All of us should join together and tell Santa no more.”

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen all said no. “We are not going to revolt against Santa. How can you do this? Think of all the children. We work one night a year. We have 364 days to relax and take vacations and do whatever we want. We enjoy our job and traveling all over the world and seeing all the decorations and the children eagerly awaiting our visit.”

This was not the first time that Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen had seen a bad attitude from Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint. In fact, over the last six months they had seen many warning signs.  They tried talking to them, but never seemed to get anywhere. Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint had even started calling Rudolph names and would not let him play in any reindeer games.

All the reindeer argued and fought for several days. We are right and this is what we are going to do. No, you are not right, we are right and we will stand our ground. Back and forth, back and forth it went.

Finally, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen decided that this could not go on. They made a very difficult decision, one that did not come easily and one that made them very sad. These reindeer have been friends their entire lives but they no longer saw eye to eye. They told Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint that they could no longer be friends. They didn’t want Santa to think they were revolting too, just because of who they were friends with.

Santa saw what was going on and felt very sad for the reindeer. But, he too, had to make a very difficult decision. If Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint did not want to fly on Christmas Eve, then he was not going to force them. But he knew he needed eight reindeer to fly.

He held tryouts and four reindeer stood out amongst the rest. They were Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. They joined forces with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,  and Vixen and became the eight famous reindeer you know today. Minus Rudolph of course, he would join the team a little later.

That is why you have never heard of Cinnamon, Gumdrop, Sparkles, and Peppermint. That is why a year later that Johnny Marks wrote Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with its famous opening lines of which you know.  You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, you know Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, and the rest is history.

That is also why you should be wise and choose your friends wisely. You will be known by the company you keep.

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Friends by Blake Shelton – 

I’ve Got Friends That Do by Tim McGraw-  

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer by –  

The Sun Doesn’t Always Come Out Tomorrow

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Feeling lost at school and feeling ignored at home

Surrounded by people but feeling all alone

I think I’m tired of fighting the fight

I’m ready to leave this life tonight

There’s nothing here as far as I can see

I wonder if anyone will even miss me

Meanwhile two blocks away

Stacy winds up another day

She remembers him and when they were so close

But lately he seems distant,  disappeared like a ghost

I’ll call him tomorrow to just say hi

She doesn’t know he’s ending his life tonight

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Meanwhile two rooms away his parents talk

About how they might go take a walk

Should they go back to his room

They joke how it seems like a tomb

They remember how he laughed not long ago

Would they have tried harder if they had known?

Meanwhile two key strokes away

More of the kids in school type away

Making jokes and calling him names

Doesn’t he know he’s so lame

They wish he would go away and die

Tomorrow they will cry and wonder why

He thinks of how his life will end

Too many torn pieces to try to mend

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His phone rings “hey how are you doing”

It’s Stacy asking how things are going

I was going to call you tomorrow but why wait

She didn’t  know that tomorrow would’ve been one day too late

A knock on his door and mom says let’s leave

We are all going to go get some ice cream

No ifs ands or buts, you’re going

If they only knew what he thought of doing

His screen beeps and Scott starts to fight

What you guys say is wrong, it isn’t right

How about saying something positive

And he starts to think he might want to live

He gets off his bed and starts to head out the door

That’s when his bible fell onto the floor

A verse about you will have pain, suffering and sorrow

Then the Air1 verse of the day says hope in tomorrow

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Then his youth pastor sent a text to see if he was okay

He sent back looks like I’ll make it through another day

Is there someone that you know

That thinks the sun won’t come up tomorrow

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One Day Too Late by Skillet  – 

I Can’t Breathe by Bea Miller – 

The Call by Matt Kennon – 

Beautiful by MercyMe – 

Hard Love by NeedToBreathe- 

Hope by Ryan Calhoun – 

My Friends by Oh Wonder – 

Hope by Superchick-  

Hope For The Hopeless by Papa Roach – 

Remain by Royal Tailor – 

Not Today by Hillsong United – 

Be Still And Know by Hannah Kerr – 

How Do You Get That Lonely by Blaine Larsen – 

Storm Inside Of You by Veronica Ballestrini- 

I Want To Live by Skillet – 

Broken by Lifehouse –